Jeji 0 #1 March 17, 2001 A guy came into where my hubbie works yesterday wearing a skydive t-shirt. Of course my honey asks where he jumps, etc, etc. This guy says he has 89 jumps, but hasn't jumped in 5 years. He decided to do the "right thing" and quit jumping after his first child was born. He didn't feel like he should be taking the extra risk and spending the extra money when he had a family to think about. One of the girls that hubbie works with says she wants to try it but doesn't know anybody to jump with. Of course this other skydiver says, " It's great, but it you love it you're F**KED!!" (how true) SO... hubbie comes home all sour faced talking about this guy and how I should be more like him, you know realize how "stupid" it is to jump out of planes when you have a family to support. I mean the kids are fed and clothed and have more toys than they know what to do with, we both have functioning vehicles, the kids even have a tidy college fund set up already, I have enought life insurance to leave my family VERY well off in the case of an accident, I am with the kids all day every day except 1 day at the DZ, for crying out loud I'm even VP on the school board and we are about to move into our first home!!!! WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO DO!!!!!! He knows how serious I am about safety and not taking any unnessasay risks but the guilt he's throwing my way is almost too much!!! I'm starting to rethink what I already should know??!!!??!! I know alot of you folks don't get support from your significant others, but do they throw all of this guilt on ya too? I don't know what I'd do without you folks, it's really hard to make friends at the DZ when you have to jump and run or in my case now clean and run!!! OK I'm done complaining!!!!!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zennie 0 #2 March 17, 2001 My wife does that a little to me. "You're going to leave me a widow one of these days" and "Get it out of your system now before we have kids". She's getting more adjusted to me jumping and I think she understands how much it means to me. She also knows I'm very safety-conscious. I think the crux of the problem is that whuffos just have this perception that we're a bunch of daredevils strictly from this gut reaction to the dramatic act of jumping out of an airplane. They really don't understand the technology of parachutes and how reliable they really are. The best way to help people undestand is to educate. Point out that we don't jump with one parachute, we jump with two. My wife has watched safety videos with me (like Breakaway). I've talked to her about how accidents happen (i.e. 99% pilot error) and how I guard against that happening to me. I personally don't plan on stopping anytime soon. There are lots of skydivers with kids, many of who are now multi-generation skydivers, and I don't see any reason why I can't maybe pass my love for this sport on if we have kids someday. It's just a great sport with great people. Take your spouse out to the DZ. Have him go for a ride on the plane as an observer. Talk to him about safety. The more he learns the more comfortable he'll get.------------Blue Skies!Zennie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skreamer 1 #3 March 17, 2001 Hi JejiI'm not married, don't have kids either, but I do have a couple of questions : What sports/recreational activity does your husband pursue? There is an element of risk in just about every sport, and very few insist on the level of training and gear checks that skydiving does. Me, I'm too scared to try gholf, seems as soon as people step onto gholf courses they keel over with heart-attacks or get hit in the head by a ball or something... Also, would you be a better mother and wife if you stopped skydiving? Probably not, and then you would hold your hubby responsible for your depression everytime you had to suffer through blue skies on the weekend. Then you might end up hating him and get a divorce and your kids would suffer as a result. So, you see, you owe it to your husband and kids to keep skydiving!My personal opinion is that a LOT of people have issues with skydiving because they have not come to terms with THEIR mortality, so they call us crazy, suicidal etc. Probably why I like skydivers so much, petty BS is recognized as petty BS and not blown out of proportion.I know you were hoping to hear from other skydiving parents or married skydivers, I hope this was of some comfort anyway. Me personally, it has taken too long and too much money to get into this beautiful sport/life (and I'm only on 33 jumps). I feel what I gain from skydiving is worth the risk 1000 times over.Sorry, I talk too much.Will Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deleted 0 #4 March 17, 2001 Boy, would I not want to be you!I would have to go with Skreamer on this one...He brings up some good points.Sounds like you have all the bases covered as far as motherhood and wifeyhood go...just let hubby know that even though you love your sport, it obviously doesn't RUN your life. And as far as the guilt thing goes, try (without making too much of a big deal about it) a little reverse psychology on him...everytime he goes to do something express your concern for it and how you wish he would stop. If he is a smart man he will hear that it is what you hear when he does the 'guilt' thing and stop. He will begin to support you in your skydiving love. Otherwise, you will both have to give up what you love, and in the end, that may be each other.Point out how thorough you have been in your life, and then go from there.Good luck,Arohanui,BNZPF A-2584 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeji 0 #5 March 17, 2001 Thanks so much guys!!! This forum is like a lifeline some days!! The really funny thing about my hubbie is that he is the one who talked me into jumping the first time and he is the one who laughed me out of the plane when I was so terrified I was almost in tears. He came back with me for jump #2 but when they opened the door he flat out said "NO!" and looked at me and asked me to please not go either, so we both rode the plane down. We came back a week later and did #2 together but he would have no more of it!!! I guess he thought it would be funny to see me so freaked out, but he didn't anticipate my actually liking it!!! Hee Hee!!! A friend of my brothers fell out of a tree stand a few years ago and broke his back. He'll never have the use of his legs again. I'll have to remember that the next time hubbie heads out the door to go hunting!!! I guess he thought that after a few kids I would morph into Donna Reed or something, SURPRISE!!! File that under NEVER!!! I think it has alot to do with the fact that it is a mostly male dominated sport and the jump suits after all can be somewhat tight fitting!!! (that is a direct quote, he's VERY jealous) I guess I'll just have to get into freeflying, LOL!!! We just need more chics in the sport!!!! Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skreamer 1 #6 March 17, 2001 Hey JejiWhy don't you pull that jumpsuit lingerie stunt that Tee mentioned? If that doesn't get hubby pro-skydiving, then accept the fact that he might be gay! /sPS any chance you posting a pic of yourself in your jumpsuit so we can see what is making hubby so insanely jealous?(sorry, had to try...) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Iflyme 0 #7 March 17, 2001 Jeji, don't give up - YOU ARE A SKYDIVER!!! A good balance between family and skydiving is hard to find - but it can be done - I'm living proof!!! I bet your husband has interests outside the family... you need to have yours, too. How long has it taken you to get this far in your skydiving progression? You've come to far to give it all up. I'm sure you've had this conversation over and over with your hubby, but you need to make him aware that you are an individual, with the dreams and aspirations that come with being an individual. Sounds like you are a very giving person, running a household, raising a young family... you DESERVE to have some time for yourself!!! And you probably already know the statistics, but if you continue with your approach to safety, you will quite likely have many years of safe and fullfilling jumping. Hang in there, Jeji, and please don't give up. You WANT to skydive, therefore you SHOULD skydive!Frank Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zennie 0 #8 March 18, 2001 QuoteA friend of my brothers fell out of a tree stand a few years ago and broke his back. He'll never have the use of his legs again. I'll have to remember that the next time hubbie heads out the door to go hunting!!!I used to bowhunt a lot and that pretty much requires a tree stand. I also did some rifle hunting down in south Texas. I'll tell you what, I personally think skydiving is a heckuva lot safer. It'd be interesting to see statistics of how many people die in hunting accidents annually per 1000 as opposed to skydivers.I am 100% convinced this is a safe sport if you just use your head and know your limitations. Today I sat out most of the day because I didn't feel comfortable with the wind & cloud conditions. Then later in the afternoon it cleared up enough for me to do a jump. Jump went great. Patience pays off.------------Blue Skies!Zennie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites cloud9 0 #9 March 18, 2001 Hey JejiI quit skydiving in 1978 because I had a wife and kids on the way. I thought it was the right thing to do. Well I'm here to tell you it wasn't. Many a day I was with my family but wishing I was on the DZ. More times then I would like to admitt I was cross with my wife and kids because I felt my life was boring and I wanted so badly to jump. If you love the sport the feeling just does not go away. There were times when I resented my family and they didn't even know what was wrong!!! I'm not proud of that, but the truth is the truth and its worth telling if it prevents you from going through what I went through. Please dont quit for that reason, you won't like your self. Try to find a way to work it in and work is the word, cause all us married folk know it takes work. Good luck and read my post back in the saddle and you'll see you can never really quit..........Bleu skiesLarry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skybytch 259 #10 March 18, 2001 I'm a single mom which seems to make whuffos really think I shouldn't be jumping. I've gotten the guilt trip from family, friends and coworkers - actually my son is the only one who has never said it! I try not to let it get to me because I know that without skydiving I would not be a happy person... therefore my kid wouldn't be happy either... and even though I'm a parent I'm still entitled to live my life. My son has told me repeatedly that he'd be really upset if I were to die in a skydiving accident but he knows how much jumping means to me - he says he'd be a lot more upset if I died in a car accident. I'm lucky though; my boyfriend has a couple of hundred jumps so he would never give me shit about it... don't know what I'd do if my significant other didn't "approve". (well yeah I think I do know what I'd do - look, grab, peel and pull that cutaway handle... - but that's just me pull and flare,lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jeji 0 #11 March 18, 2001 You are all soooooo right!! I don't think a person can be truly happy with another unless they are happy with themselves, and the choices they make in their life. Here's to livin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites froggie 0 #12 March 18, 2001 about hunting and deerstands vs. skydiving...this winter we had a hunter fall out of a tree stand about 8am. nobody realized this until he was found around 3pm. the man ended up breaking his back I believe. I know that he had to be helicoptered out and was really critical. He laid there in the snow for 7 hours before he was found. I dont know of any skydivers who went down and werent found almost immediately, with the exception of those un reported plane flights at the beginning of the year and a base jump or two. SKydivers around here land in the trees, they dont fall out of em! Maybe we could teach the hunters how to stay put. anyone finding this offense, remember what i do, that should explain the sick sense of humor. froggie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jeji 0 #13 March 18, 2001 I don't hunt much but, the first time I went out with my hubbie about 5 years ago we got in the woods about an hour and a half before sunup. He got in his stand and I found a nice little hole right next to the hottest run on the island. ( I won't get in his stand cause anything under 2000' is scary!) About 20 minutes before sunup some Einstein goes tromping thru the brush about 10 ft. from me. I blink my flashlight at him a few times just to let him know I was there and he turns his gun on me!!!!! I mean jeez... I had on my blaze and this idiot keeps his gun on me for about a minute before he goes stomping off into the woods!!! Last time I looked deer did NOT carry flashlights!!! And they say skydiving is dangerous!!!! That was scarier then anything I have ever done!! I would REALLY like to know how many people are injured/killed by morans who think they can hunt as compared to people who toss themselves out of planes!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites drosenberg 0 #14 March 18, 2001 I also have a kid and my wife gives me some trouble some times over running of jumping on the weekend, so I got her a tandem jump, she liked it very much and would have probably wanted to take AFF but she cant at the moment.Moral of the story is - you don't know what its like until you try it.Blue skies,David Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TripleF 0 #15 March 19, 2001 Jeji,Check the thread "spousel support" under iflyme's post... he had the best idea I have heard on this subject...This is just a sport...it will be here tomorrow... the family may not...Iflyme said that he took some time to spend with his family once in a while instead of jumping every chance he got...That, in my book, makes him a better man and father...maybe the sport wouldn't be looked down upon so much if we could all take that kind of time out everyonce in a while...I know that you are doing every thing you can think of... sometimes it seems a little hard...but after watching you post, I believe in you and your abilities to jump safe...so be cool...jump when ya' can...and have fun...Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites somebloodyozzie 0 #16 March 19, 2001 ...hey Jeji, mind if I leap in from left field?...to thine own self be true, babe... something's going to take you from your kids some day, the difference will be how they remember you. As the formative influence in their lives, would you prefer them to be inspired by a confidant woman who chose to do what she loved, or for them to remeber you as an abject lesson of submission?...perhaps a little strong for my first foray into this forum, but as has been intimated already, do you think fear of losing you (by death) is the only fear praying on your partners mind? To resolve it, he needs to be incorporated into the whole environment in some way. It's only by osmosis - watching the way you conduct yourself (both in the air AND in your socialising) that he may overcome his insecurities...of course, that's only my read on it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lazerq3 0 #17 March 19, 2001 Hi jeji, I guess I wont say anything thats been said but I,m in the same boat. I'm just starting now and been married for 3.5yrs and have a 1.5yr old girl. ANd my wife says I should be living my life for my little girl. I completely agree however I dont see a problem if like you everything is taken care of incase something was to happen. My wife even said "i dont care about me I can deal with it however what I am I suppose to tell your girl why she doesnt have a daddy?" My responce...the truth, tell her daddy past on doing something he learned to have a passion for. I mean I know its nothing you want to have to tell your kids but come on people we're not kidding anyone things do and will go wrong know matter how safe we try to be. However like was mentioned above a large % was pilot error so that should make jumpers even more consious of emergency procedures and prevent serious accidents. AN dwhen some one asks "what if your main AND your reserve doesnt open?" F@#$ it tell em the truth "WHat the hell do you think I F@#king dye!!!Sorry if I'm I'm coming off as a ass I've been just getting nagged by everyone lately (whoffs) about the whole sport and ITs like you can only take so many stupid remarks til you just tell em how it is.jason Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Pammi 0 #18 March 19, 2001 I'm so incredibly lucky to have Merrick and not have to deal with the guilt over the time I spend at the DZ (since he's there too!) or how much money I'm spending. However, since I *do* have kids...I can say that I've still had a great deal of guilt. I almost quit in the beginning because I was so guilt-ridden over the thought of 'What if something happens to me? My kids may very well have to go live with their worthless father who doesn't even call them anymore because that's what the law says!" (not trying to start a feud here over divorced couples' children issues..it's all a very personal thing..this is just my situation). But, and I know we've all brought this up before, how many of us have had or almost had some very horrible car accidents. I've rolled my vehicle, I've almost been taken out by a semi at 85 mph on the interstate...there are so many things that can happen just in living! The thing that frustrates me is that people can sometimes give us so much flack for skydiving, but if it were, for instance, scuba diving, they think that kind of sport is 'normal', even tho I hear it is just as dangerous, if not more. I still get guilty over the amount of time I spend away from my kids while I jump, but now that I'm done with my student status (nearly) it will be better now and they understand that. I also make sure to make time for them during the week, and spend some weekends just with them and family often. For instance, we're all going to Blues Clues Live this weekend ... something they really wanted to do. They also have their 'hobbies'..singing lessons and Thai Kwan Do. I actually think they enjoy their time away from us sometimes! C'mon...I know I drive them crazy from time-to-time too! LOL! Skydiving also releases so much stress for me, I come home a calmer person! Good look Jeji, but don't think badly of yourself. Just because the sport we enjoy isn't common, doesn't make it bad. Cherish your individuality!Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jeji 0 #19 March 19, 2001 Well... after a fun filled day of detailing cars I did manage to pin hubbie down for a "talk". I think we did get a few things ironed out. I calmly explained to him how much he and the kids mean to me, but that skydiving also is a part of my life and that he knew this was something that meant something to me before he said "I do". We discussed the risks vs. rewards and all of that other fun stuff. He's still not thrilled about it, but is willing to try to be a bit more understanding. We did set a few rules though, namely; I'm not allowed to jump w/o a cypres, no hot doggin', and I can't go to the DZ on Sunday, which is his only day off. I can abide by those. Monday is my offical DZ day, which kinda bums now because they aren't jumping much during the week right now, but since I went past my 30 days I'm just hanging tight for a month to finish AFF. Well I'm off to the DZ now to clean out the loft and packing area. Only 46 more hours of work and I'll have my AFF paid off!! WHHHOOOOO!!!!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MarkF 0 #20 March 20, 2001 Hmmmmmmm... Blokes have this problem. (I are one so I've had a bit of experience in this area....trust me...:-) )Blokes, by and large, just CANNOT handle women doing something they haven't got the courage to do. If you doubt me, have a look at blokes' reactions when they find out for the first time that you jump. See....:-) Eventually, in a relationship, the bloke gets quite tired of this behaviour and tries to get you to stop, usually by saying something like "Wouldn't you please consider stopping jumping ??? " Doesn't work of course. Then the bloke tries demanding that you stop. The idiot only makes things worse. The only thing left now is stupid testosterone driven mind games. Guilt is an easy weapon to use so we use it.Just sit him down and TELL him that you intend to continue jumping and that the guilt trips are a waste of time and effort and that HE should get out more and that HE is turning into a couch spud. Sure he'll be pissed at you, that's just testosterone so don't be _too_ concerned about it, but eventually he'll take up something "Adventurous" as well. That way you get to fight over money and whos turn it is for a week away.OorooMark F... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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Iflyme 0 #7 March 17, 2001 Jeji, don't give up - YOU ARE A SKYDIVER!!! A good balance between family and skydiving is hard to find - but it can be done - I'm living proof!!! I bet your husband has interests outside the family... you need to have yours, too. How long has it taken you to get this far in your skydiving progression? You've come to far to give it all up. I'm sure you've had this conversation over and over with your hubby, but you need to make him aware that you are an individual, with the dreams and aspirations that come with being an individual. Sounds like you are a very giving person, running a household, raising a young family... you DESERVE to have some time for yourself!!! And you probably already know the statistics, but if you continue with your approach to safety, you will quite likely have many years of safe and fullfilling jumping. Hang in there, Jeji, and please don't give up. You WANT to skydive, therefore you SHOULD skydive!Frank Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zennie 0 #8 March 18, 2001 QuoteA friend of my brothers fell out of a tree stand a few years ago and broke his back. He'll never have the use of his legs again. I'll have to remember that the next time hubbie heads out the door to go hunting!!!I used to bowhunt a lot and that pretty much requires a tree stand. I also did some rifle hunting down in south Texas. I'll tell you what, I personally think skydiving is a heckuva lot safer. It'd be interesting to see statistics of how many people die in hunting accidents annually per 1000 as opposed to skydivers.I am 100% convinced this is a safe sport if you just use your head and know your limitations. Today I sat out most of the day because I didn't feel comfortable with the wind & cloud conditions. Then later in the afternoon it cleared up enough for me to do a jump. Jump went great. Patience pays off.------------Blue Skies!Zennie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloud9 0 #9 March 18, 2001 Hey JejiI quit skydiving in 1978 because I had a wife and kids on the way. I thought it was the right thing to do. Well I'm here to tell you it wasn't. Many a day I was with my family but wishing I was on the DZ. More times then I would like to admitt I was cross with my wife and kids because I felt my life was boring and I wanted so badly to jump. If you love the sport the feeling just does not go away. There were times when I resented my family and they didn't even know what was wrong!!! I'm not proud of that, but the truth is the truth and its worth telling if it prevents you from going through what I went through. Please dont quit for that reason, you won't like your self. Try to find a way to work it in and work is the word, cause all us married folk know it takes work. Good luck and read my post back in the saddle and you'll see you can never really quit..........Bleu skiesLarry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #10 March 18, 2001 I'm a single mom which seems to make whuffos really think I shouldn't be jumping. I've gotten the guilt trip from family, friends and coworkers - actually my son is the only one who has never said it! I try not to let it get to me because I know that without skydiving I would not be a happy person... therefore my kid wouldn't be happy either... and even though I'm a parent I'm still entitled to live my life. My son has told me repeatedly that he'd be really upset if I were to die in a skydiving accident but he knows how much jumping means to me - he says he'd be a lot more upset if I died in a car accident. I'm lucky though; my boyfriend has a couple of hundred jumps so he would never give me shit about it... don't know what I'd do if my significant other didn't "approve". (well yeah I think I do know what I'd do - look, grab, peel and pull that cutaway handle... - but that's just me pull and flare,lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeji 0 #11 March 18, 2001 You are all soooooo right!! I don't think a person can be truly happy with another unless they are happy with themselves, and the choices they make in their life. Here's to livin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
froggie 0 #12 March 18, 2001 about hunting and deerstands vs. skydiving...this winter we had a hunter fall out of a tree stand about 8am. nobody realized this until he was found around 3pm. the man ended up breaking his back I believe. I know that he had to be helicoptered out and was really critical. He laid there in the snow for 7 hours before he was found. I dont know of any skydivers who went down and werent found almost immediately, with the exception of those un reported plane flights at the beginning of the year and a base jump or two. SKydivers around here land in the trees, they dont fall out of em! Maybe we could teach the hunters how to stay put. anyone finding this offense, remember what i do, that should explain the sick sense of humor. froggie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeji 0 #13 March 18, 2001 I don't hunt much but, the first time I went out with my hubbie about 5 years ago we got in the woods about an hour and a half before sunup. He got in his stand and I found a nice little hole right next to the hottest run on the island. ( I won't get in his stand cause anything under 2000' is scary!) About 20 minutes before sunup some Einstein goes tromping thru the brush about 10 ft. from me. I blink my flashlight at him a few times just to let him know I was there and he turns his gun on me!!!!! I mean jeez... I had on my blaze and this idiot keeps his gun on me for about a minute before he goes stomping off into the woods!!! Last time I looked deer did NOT carry flashlights!!! And they say skydiving is dangerous!!!! That was scarier then anything I have ever done!! I would REALLY like to know how many people are injured/killed by morans who think they can hunt as compared to people who toss themselves out of planes!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drosenberg 0 #14 March 18, 2001 I also have a kid and my wife gives me some trouble some times over running of jumping on the weekend, so I got her a tandem jump, she liked it very much and would have probably wanted to take AFF but she cant at the moment.Moral of the story is - you don't know what its like until you try it.Blue skies,David Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TripleF 0 #15 March 19, 2001 Jeji,Check the thread "spousel support" under iflyme's post... he had the best idea I have heard on this subject...This is just a sport...it will be here tomorrow... the family may not...Iflyme said that he took some time to spend with his family once in a while instead of jumping every chance he got...That, in my book, makes him a better man and father...maybe the sport wouldn't be looked down upon so much if we could all take that kind of time out everyonce in a while...I know that you are doing every thing you can think of... sometimes it seems a little hard...but after watching you post, I believe in you and your abilities to jump safe...so be cool...jump when ya' can...and have fun...Triple F Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
somebloodyozzie 0 #16 March 19, 2001 ...hey Jeji, mind if I leap in from left field?...to thine own self be true, babe... something's going to take you from your kids some day, the difference will be how they remember you. As the formative influence in their lives, would you prefer them to be inspired by a confidant woman who chose to do what she loved, or for them to remeber you as an abject lesson of submission?...perhaps a little strong for my first foray into this forum, but as has been intimated already, do you think fear of losing you (by death) is the only fear praying on your partners mind? To resolve it, he needs to be incorporated into the whole environment in some way. It's only by osmosis - watching the way you conduct yourself (both in the air AND in your socialising) that he may overcome his insecurities...of course, that's only my read on it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lazerq3 0 #17 March 19, 2001 Hi jeji, I guess I wont say anything thats been said but I,m in the same boat. I'm just starting now and been married for 3.5yrs and have a 1.5yr old girl. ANd my wife says I should be living my life for my little girl. I completely agree however I dont see a problem if like you everything is taken care of incase something was to happen. My wife even said "i dont care about me I can deal with it however what I am I suppose to tell your girl why she doesnt have a daddy?" My responce...the truth, tell her daddy past on doing something he learned to have a passion for. I mean I know its nothing you want to have to tell your kids but come on people we're not kidding anyone things do and will go wrong know matter how safe we try to be. However like was mentioned above a large % was pilot error so that should make jumpers even more consious of emergency procedures and prevent serious accidents. AN dwhen some one asks "what if your main AND your reserve doesnt open?" F@#$ it tell em the truth "WHat the hell do you think I F@#king dye!!!Sorry if I'm I'm coming off as a ass I've been just getting nagged by everyone lately (whoffs) about the whole sport and ITs like you can only take so many stupid remarks til you just tell em how it is.jason Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #18 March 19, 2001 I'm so incredibly lucky to have Merrick and not have to deal with the guilt over the time I spend at the DZ (since he's there too!) or how much money I'm spending. However, since I *do* have kids...I can say that I've still had a great deal of guilt. I almost quit in the beginning because I was so guilt-ridden over the thought of 'What if something happens to me? My kids may very well have to go live with their worthless father who doesn't even call them anymore because that's what the law says!" (not trying to start a feud here over divorced couples' children issues..it's all a very personal thing..this is just my situation). But, and I know we've all brought this up before, how many of us have had or almost had some very horrible car accidents. I've rolled my vehicle, I've almost been taken out by a semi at 85 mph on the interstate...there are so many things that can happen just in living! The thing that frustrates me is that people can sometimes give us so much flack for skydiving, but if it were, for instance, scuba diving, they think that kind of sport is 'normal', even tho I hear it is just as dangerous, if not more. I still get guilty over the amount of time I spend away from my kids while I jump, but now that I'm done with my student status (nearly) it will be better now and they understand that. I also make sure to make time for them during the week, and spend some weekends just with them and family often. For instance, we're all going to Blues Clues Live this weekend ... something they really wanted to do. They also have their 'hobbies'..singing lessons and Thai Kwan Do. I actually think they enjoy their time away from us sometimes! C'mon...I know I drive them crazy from time-to-time too! LOL! Skydiving also releases so much stress for me, I come home a calmer person! Good look Jeji, but don't think badly of yourself. Just because the sport we enjoy isn't common, doesn't make it bad. Cherish your individuality!Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeji 0 #19 March 19, 2001 Well... after a fun filled day of detailing cars I did manage to pin hubbie down for a "talk". I think we did get a few things ironed out. I calmly explained to him how much he and the kids mean to me, but that skydiving also is a part of my life and that he knew this was something that meant something to me before he said "I do". We discussed the risks vs. rewards and all of that other fun stuff. He's still not thrilled about it, but is willing to try to be a bit more understanding. We did set a few rules though, namely; I'm not allowed to jump w/o a cypres, no hot doggin', and I can't go to the DZ on Sunday, which is his only day off. I can abide by those. Monday is my offical DZ day, which kinda bums now because they aren't jumping much during the week right now, but since I went past my 30 days I'm just hanging tight for a month to finish AFF. Well I'm off to the DZ now to clean out the loft and packing area. Only 46 more hours of work and I'll have my AFF paid off!! WHHHOOOOO!!!!!Jeji Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkF 0 #20 March 20, 2001 Hmmmmmmm... Blokes have this problem. (I are one so I've had a bit of experience in this area....trust me...:-) )Blokes, by and large, just CANNOT handle women doing something they haven't got the courage to do. If you doubt me, have a look at blokes' reactions when they find out for the first time that you jump. See....:-) Eventually, in a relationship, the bloke gets quite tired of this behaviour and tries to get you to stop, usually by saying something like "Wouldn't you please consider stopping jumping ??? " Doesn't work of course. Then the bloke tries demanding that you stop. The idiot only makes things worse. The only thing left now is stupid testosterone driven mind games. Guilt is an easy weapon to use so we use it.Just sit him down and TELL him that you intend to continue jumping and that the guilt trips are a waste of time and effort and that HE should get out more and that HE is turning into a couch spud. Sure he'll be pissed at you, that's just testosterone so don't be _too_ concerned about it, but eventually he'll take up something "Adventurous" as well. That way you get to fight over money and whos turn it is for a week away.OorooMark F... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
