I made it to Heaven, and stood up the landing

[Michele 1]

Driving through the dark morning, watching the sky turn salmon pink with the sun's arrival, seeing the promise of this day brought forth from a pink dawn into a cool, crisp morning. I follow the directions to Elsinore, and I can feel the tingle of apprehension as I turn onto the gravel drive of the dz. I have not been here before, and I am nervous. I have never been anywhere but Perris, and have no idea what to expect, except I know that there will be fear.
It is only 7 a.m. I get to the store, and there are already people in line. I get inside, and rent gear. I am in a Spectre 210, Infinity harness. O.K., I am downsizing. I decide to wait for the wind, because it's a new dz, a new canopy, and I want to wear my careful hat today. Larissa and I register for the Chicks Rock! Boogie, and I start meeting people - all the people I talk to here on the web - and it is really odd to see faces to monikers and names. I see Albatross, Shark, DZBone, MsDeva, GiaKrebs, Regina, and a few others. I am feeling overwhelmed, in a way, because everything is so new, so unfamiliar.
Larissa goes to get ready for her tandem, and she tells her Tandem Master that she has done AFF 1 and 2, and has developed a serious case of door demons. I pull him aside and stress that she really has a hard time with the door, and he reassures me that he will take are of her. That isn't my point, though, I think, but I can't figure a way to explain to him what I mean. Larissa asks me to meet her on the ground, so I am going to jump later. Which is, I guess, fine. I'll take pictures. She boards the plane, and glances over her shoulder. She looks really scared. I feel so ineffective. I have fought her fight, and I know that fear. And I can't do it for her, and I can't take it away from her. I wave at the departing plane, even though I know she can't see.
I meet HotTamaly, who is an adorable redhead with a personality to match her hair - fiery, warm, spirited and energetic. She is LO'ing, and sets me up with Jackie, an instructor and a nice, sweet, laid back, patient woman. Thank God for small favors. I hook up with Jackie, and we go over our dive. I tell her I want to pull high, like 4.5K, because it is the first time in a 210, first time at this dz, and I want to get used to the canopy with time to spare to plan out my landing. She seems fine with that.
I get out to the landing area, and start to take pictures of what I think is Larissa under canopy. Albatross is there with me, he nudges me. The plane has landed, and Larissa is climbing off, looking chagrined and frustrated. I go and hug her, and ask what happened. She tells me she had to sit next to the door the entire ride, and felt really vulnerable without a parachute, and she froze. I hug her again, and tell her not to worry, she'll be o.k., and that it'll come together for her.
But now it's my turn. I run to get ready to jump. I discover that I will not have a jumpsuit on. Another first. Sweats and Curious George t-shirt it is. Now I can't tank, because these are the only clothes I have. No pressure now, no, nuh-uhn. Shit. Oh well. 10 minute call, and I get the gear on my back, and am so nervous I don't realize I have a leg strap kerflumoxed until I go to tighten it. I take it all off, realign the leg strap, remember to check the cypress. Which isn't on, so I remedy that. I get all ready just in time, check the windsocks, and board the plane with Jackie.
Look out the window, and we are over the lake - sparkling, dark blue, beautiful. I check my alti, check everyone else's alti, and shut my eyes and rehearse the dive. I go through it over and over, and then look at my alti. I feel the butterflies break loose, swarm up and down my body, and my palms are sweaty. I breath in hitches, and deliberately take 3 deep breaths. I turn my head to the window, and press my nose against it. I am looking at the ground, hoping to see the dz. I can't, so I try to figure it out from the direction we are flying. Jackie is going to spot, so I am not worried about that part, but what if I can't recognize it from the sky? What if I get lost? Where are the outs? Ohfuckmeshit, I miss Perris. I clap my helmet on, and then realize I have forgotten to put on my goggles. I get everything on in the right order, and now, there is no time. We throttle down, the green light goes on, and everyone starts dissappearing. Jackie gets to the door, but the light goes out, so we sit. We have to go around. I ask her to show me the dz before we get out, and she does. It's our turn. Linked exit, she's floating. I get a grip on her shoulders, and we are out - into the sky, back in the air, flying. Oh, how I miss this. I want to live in the sky. I never want to land.
We level off, and Jackie is right, everything feels weird without a jumpsuit. The air is crisp, sharp, tinged with dwindling summer heat. I relax, and she starts making faces at me. I stick out my tongue at her, and release her. I dock three times, not reaching once, checking alti every time. It's 5, I wave off and then remember to check my airspace. So I do that, and then wave off again, reach grab pull whoomp! I am there. Great opening, on heading, all is wonderful.
"Spin, shape, float, all's a big rog-o" I say to myself. I look down, and see the dz right under my feet. I reach up and grab the toggles, and release them. I tug on the right one - hot damn, that's more responsive than I thought, so I let up really quickly. I tug the left, and it's the same. I let it up, and flare, full down, to find the stall point - and release….. whoooooosh I swing back behind the canopy, and swing under it, leaving my belly behind. I remind myself that I am in street clothes, and have to land the right way. So I flare again, to get the feel of it really and for sure.
I look around, and I am over the motocross playground. I swing left, right, left, right, and then it is time to get going on the downwind leg. I turn down wind, and I am really travelling now. Right about the road, I turn right, and then right again, and I head for the student landing area. There are peas there, somewhere, but I can't find them, so I just let up into full flight, and drop really fast. And now - close, wait, now, sccchhhhuuu I pull the toggles to my chest and the ground is coming fast and I am planing out and then waaaaaaa full flare and I reach with my feet and I am on the ground and I stumble and go down onto one shin and then I regain my feet and I am down and I do my happy dance but that canopy felt really fast!
I find Jackie and ask her if I passed whatever test I was supposed to pass, and she grins. "You're a very safe jumper, and you can jump with anyone you want" she says, but I want to just do a scenic tour next time. I ask her why I got a coached rw jump with her, and she told me that I was the lowest time jumper here, and that no-one had ever jumped with me, and she was just making sure I would have a fun jump for my first jump at Elsinore.
I go manifest for a solo, but there is a long wait because I will be pulling high again. I have about 90 minutes, so I walk around and chat with people. I talk with WestCoast Chica, WhiskeyChick (you rawk!), Katzeye, Parduhn, Dzbone, and then buy a t-shirt from a t-shirt guy that says "F&ck Terrorism". I'm having fun, not feeling so overwhelmed and more confident about the canopy and the dz and I relax on the cool green grass under the tree and watch some guy almost land on top of the packing tent. It's about 4:45 by the time my load is called.
I grab my chute and make it onto the plane. It's me, two 2-ways, and a 17 way. I relax more on this ride to alti, and most of the nerves are gone. One of the 2-way guys will spot for me, so I have nothing to worry about. Jumprun, and all of a sudden everyone stands up, and the bench is lifted to the wall, and 17 people are screaming "GO GO GO" running out the door and disappearing and how awesome that they can all fit out the door in three seconds, and one 2-way goes, it's my turn and the guy spotting says "GO" so I do.
I am out, chipping like mad, tensely relaxing, trying to find my centerpoint without a jumpsuit, and I don't get my balance. I am chipping so badly that I end up in a sit, and actually get my hands and arms behind me, so I can hold it for a few seconds. It is not pretty, and my bottom is cold. I arch and get back to my belly, and now it's time to pull, and then I am under canopy, and it's the most stunning thing I have seen in ages.
I see the lake, dark blue melding into bright blue, the sunline stretching outward, reaching east, touching the blue a shimmering gold. There are whitecaps and ripples, and I don't see a lot of boats. The air I am flying through is soft, gentle, cool now, in marked contrast to the earlier sharpness. I feel none of the earlier nerves, none of the tension and the concern. I know that soon I will need to return to the jump, but for now, for these brief moments, I am just going to look and see and feel. I turn a little, and now the mountain range, layered mountains dark blue gray, is in front of me. Behind them are layers of clouds, deep puffy white outlined in gray, and it strikes me how odd and awesome that I can see the clouds from above and I am in the air with them. The mountain range holds them back, keeps them at bay, but the clouds are creeping through the crevasses and canyons, snaking down hazy gauze arms, promising an evening of fog behind the mountains. The sun shines sweetgold, lending a color to the day which I do not see on the ground. I am in heaven, I know, and I never want to come down.
But I am, because gravity still works. I decide to do a 360, even if it scares me I will do one, so I pull the right toggle down and I turn, and fast. I lose about 250 feet in that, and I still have plenty of height before I have to enter my landing pattern. I do another 360, and then switch sides and go left, and now I am at 1000 and so I just ride with the wind, reaching past the road this time, flying smoothly and gracefully a half circle and face the wind. I drop, but this time I am expecting it so it doesn't bother me. I see the spot I will land in, and wait, now, half-way "schuuuu" and now all the way "waaaah" and I am standing up and trot it out only two steps, and it is so bittersweet, this landing, because I am on the ground again and I really want to be back in the sky.
I try to manifest for a final jump, but there is no room on any of the loads. I am disappointed, and go back twice to see if there are any cancellations. There isn't, so I return my gear. In a final event of the day, and before the evening begins, the twin otters go in a formation, and do a fly over. Their headlights are on, if that's what they are, and through the deepening dusk they fly, straight, level, loud and gorgeous. Their wings are not more than 15 feet from each other, and as they approach the gathered jumpers, they turn on their side. The lower one's wingtip is only 15 feet over our heads, and I stop myself from ducking. Through the rose colored air they fly, racing the night, testing themselves, and thrilling us. We cheer and yell, thanking them for a hard day's work, congratulating them for their part in making our days in the sky possible.
Larissa and I run and get dinner, and we are back in time for the night swoops. The pond is lined with cans of burning fuel, casting a smoky glow over the black water. The night sky is sprinkled with pinpoint starts, and we crane our heads backward looking for fast moving red or green lights and here they come, ghost canopies with phantom flyers. Only as they swoop the pond can we see the colors of their canopies, and who they are. They fly, teasing the water with their toes, and spraying rooster tails behind them. We cheer, for ourselves, celebrating a great day, and for the nightswoops, saluting the courage and commitment and joy these swoopers have, in their sport, and in their life.
What an enormously fabulous day!
Ciels-
Michele
"What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky".
~e e cummings~

[Kelly 0]

michelle,
awesome story girl! glad to see that at least one of us 'low timers' can land a damn canopy! :) haha.
can you IM me or email me.... i have a question
[email protected] or flynfroggie on AIM
kel
"i can not attest to what i did, just what i remember...."
~me, after one too many

[flyhi 24]

Michele,
Great story. Can't wait to read your account of your first swoop on a 107. I think what the Otter's have are called landing lights. The red and green ones are called position lights and the blinking/rotating one is called an anti-collision light.
Whiskey tango fox is "LO'ing"?
flyhi

[Divadiver 0]

Michelle:
Don't ever stop writing . . . you are so totally awesome on so many different levels . . . you go girl!!
Diva

[mouth 0]

Great story Michele...I'm so sick of being on the ground I could almost feel the rush of air in your description
LO'ing is Load Organizing

[freeflir29 0]

"I'm so sick of being on the ground"
Yeah, Hurry back to the DZ! I miss ya. You definately missed some craziness last Saturday. Don't worry. Chris wore his helmet cam around for over an hour with it set on this crazy slow exposure setting. Makes you think your on an acid trip just watching it. Especially with the lights in "Club Tim"
"The sky resembles a back lit canopy...with holes punched through it"- Incubus
Clay

[PLFKING 3]

What a great story to read during lunch ! Thanks, Michele, for another vivid description of this fantasy trip we call skydiving.......
Don

[GiaKrembs 0]

Hey Michelle,
It was great meeting you~! Hope to see you @ Elsinore again. I know, I know, I need to get over to Perris....
Keep up the writing! BTW, liked your usage of Shuwaaaaa :)
Ciao, g

[fonz 0]

Michele,
Another great story!
Some thoughts:
If someone has 'door-anxiety' (I can't think of a better word, sorry), is it normal to have them sit next to the door then?
I still remember when I had the same fear. It wasn't at all pleasant! I can understand your friend thinking "Oh screw it, I'm not jumping!" Around level VI or VII, somehow I suddenly lost this fear but I still remember how scared I used to be.
I think it's good for you to have jumped somewhere other than Perris for a change. It's very nice to see some change in scenery every now and then and meet other people.
As I read your story, it seems like you're getting more comfortable under canopy. Good thing! Just to get an idea, may I ask what wing load you are flying?
Alphons

[Whiskeychick 0]

Hey WonderWoman, it was great to finally meet the person behind all these stories. I'll be seeing you and your invisible jet later!

[msdeva 0]

Where did you go? I met you bright and early Saturday morning - then never so you again! I looked for you and Curious George... I even did an organized belly jump thinking you might be there (well - and cuz I wanted to jump with Linda! and stay current) - at any rate - I'm sad I didn't see you again!
How did your weekend go?
Now I know since I just read this post... I posted with your name spelled wrong - so I guess you didn't think it was you... Love your writing - it is amazing scenery, isn't it. My first visit to Elsinore I only had 19 jumps.. You described exactly what I felt. I couldn't believe how fast the ground cam at me! The air is slower here in Texas (nice and humid). But I've been to several dzs now - I definitely reccommend travelling - every dz has it's own vibe and uniqueness and amazing people. Perhaps you can come out to Skydive Dallas??? We have a HUGE grassy landing area, and nice winds - easy to land :o).
cb
Deva

[FallingMarc 0]

You're really making it hard for me here, Michele, I'm planning to come out to hit the west coast DZ's early next year, but now I can't wait! Glad to hear you enjoyed your weekend though! I wonder if the "schuu-waah" technique could help me learn to land my new canopy in no wind...
Blue skies
Marc

[JumpingKayAus 0]

Michelle~
Kick ass story! I really enjoyed meeting you, and chatting with you on Saturday. Don't ever forget that you have a VERY SPECIAL GIFT.....you are a beautiful person inside and out.
xoxoxoxoxox
..gini
Standing behind him even when he's wrong~JumpingKayAus

[HotLoad 0]

"Whiskey Tango Fox is LO'ing"?
I think it's Load Organizing.
Thanks for the visualization Michele; great story. One of these days I'll make it out to some of the West Coast DZ's.

[algboy 0]

I have to add, Michelle, that I ,too, love your stories; I relive so much of what I went through during my tandem/AFF/solo days. Now you've passed me (bwaaaaaahh!!) and I haven't jumped in over a year (double-bwaaaaah!!). You've inspired me to sell the china, climbing gear--whatever it takes--and get back in the air. Good stuff!
BTW: my first jump EVER (a S/L) with a 24' round in `76 was at Perris with J/M Dean Westgaard (may he R.I.P); 2nd jump was at Elsinore. FYI: in `76 Perris was kind of a po-dunk DZ, Elsinore was the happenin' DZ--funny how it's Perris that seems to have pulled ahead these days. Blue ones!
Bruce
"That which does not kill me makes me stronger."--Nietzsche

[Shark 0]

Michele,
Glad you made it out to 'Snore! Also nice to see Kimmer and the rest of the Perrisians come over after the sun went down. Only bummer is that we didn't get to jump with you. Hope you come back. BTW, didn't you mention you still have a jump tik left? If anything, me and Westcoastchica will roam over the hill to PV and jump wit y'all. It was a happening time. BTW, whatever happened to FFPM? There was a "sighting" earlier in the day I heard. Anyway, if yer out this weekend I hear the British are coming! They're always good for a beer or two.

[hottamaly 1]

Great story! It was great to put a face to these books I've been reading. I told ya that once you got in the air, you'd wish you would have started sooner that day. Come back and see us more often. It was real nice to meet quite a few of the dot comers on Saturday. See ya'll next year, at least if not sooner. You gals sure made my weekend great. SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE....

[Shark 0]

Quote

Look out the window, and we are over the lake - sparkling, dark blue, beautiful.

The Skydive Elsinore Chamber of Commerce thanks you! BTW, it's more of a really big pond, (or swamp)than a lake... and watch out for the alligator.

[JumpingKayAus 0]

Quote

The Skydive Elsinore Chamber of Commerce thanks you!
BTW, it's more of a really big pond, (or swamp)than a lake... and watch out for the alligator.

Smart ass.......
Standing behind him even when he's wrong~JumpingKayAus

[freeflir29 0]

"Look out the window, and we are over the lake - sparkling, dark blue, beautiful"
Hey!.....a little "artisitic license" never hurt anybody....It somehow carries a differen't connotation than "dingy, dark green, icky looking."
"The sky resembles a back lit canopy...with holes punched through it"- Incubus
Clay

[hottamaly 1]

Ok, Ok, I got your "artistic" point. Just didn't want to encourage people to come out and see this "blue, beautiful lake and then see pea soup. Ya know what I mean?
SKYDIVING GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE....

[westcoastchica 0]

PAAA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!! Linda! I was totally thinking the same thing. But that is why I love Michelle, she tells us of the golden glow of a liquid so pure it sends shivers of bliss through the body with every drop of bubble-filled refreshment, that is openly shared by one and all...we see a pee-colored liquid that somebody else bought for some f-up or big achievement (depending) that really isn't all that refreshing at times, but will for damn sure get you drunk. Behold the power of prose. Rock on Michelle.
Hey, for all those wondering...Regina is doing really well. I saw her Monday night and talked to her today and she is a freakin' trooper. She may be headed home tomorrow. Remember that it was her hard work, with help from others of course, that brought the idea of a chick boogie to fruition. We are very lucky to have people like her in our community. Hooray for skydivers and double hooray for Regina!
=)
Lara

[Michele 1]

What happened to Regina? I keep hearing allusions to her, but no one has stated anything that I can see?
And I really must be referring to a different lake, because I described the one I saw. Or maybe I am colorblind....I left out that nasty green thingwhich is at the end of the dz, but described the one we fly over at about 1000 feet.....could that be it?
And I loved your description of beer, Lara.....
And no, Alphons, you may not ask what I am loading at! Well, you can ask, but I won't tell (except to say I am still under 1:1....by a bit, too....)
And Mouth, why are you on the ground? And are you still coming out in December? I'll cook for you.......
And HotTamaly, I was providing ground team support for Larissa, which is why I didn't go up earlier. But thanks for setting me up with Jackie - she's fun.
MsDeva, I wanted to talk to you too, but I couldn't find you either. You weren't wearing a Curious George T-shirt.....
WhiskyChick, when you are in freefall, and are buzzed by my invisible jet, watch out!!!! You'll only see the outline, that's how you'll know.....
Yes, Sharkie, I still have a tik. so I guess I'll be back at Elsinore (yeah, sure, twist my arm, why don't ya....)
Whew, I think that's all the questions - forgive me if I missed yours....
ciels-
Michele
"What of the dreams that never die? Turn to your left at the end of the sky".
~e e cummings~

[chopchop 0]

BTW, it's more of a really big pond, (or swamp)than a lake... and watch out for the alligator.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for readjusting my expectations. i was actually buying into Michelle's "artistic expression" and looking forward to the beautiful scenery when I jump in Elsinore next month. Now I'll just look forward to what I am sure is a dz full of fun skydivers.
BTW Michelle, been to Skydive Dallas a couple of times and deva is right. Great place with cool people. It is so much fun and rewarding to travel in this sport. I extend almost every trip I go on a day or to to check out the local dz. You meet the coolest people...
chopchop
PD makes canopies all day long, you only have one life, when in doubt, cut away...

[fonz 0]

Michele> you may not ask what I am loading at!
Ok already, I won't ask again :-)
Michele> except to say I am still under 1:1
Yeah, I already figured that out :-)
Look, I didn't mean to pressurize you or anything. You should jump what you're comfortable with, whether that means loading at 0.5 or at 4.0! I was merely trying to imagine what you meant by responsive. If I have upset you, I hereby apologize sincerely.
For what it's worth: I'm not loading heavily either (yet!). The only difference is that I actually enjoy responsiveness and radical turns.
Anyway, keep writing those stories! I love them.
Sorry,
Alphons