dida 0 #1 October 2, 2002 OOH! i was so inspired by the "hysterical metaphors", i had to make a contribution... 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST GUY IN YOUR OFFICE 10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face. 9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were kidding and call them a bunch of queers 8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting pretend you're hocking up a loogie, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "BEAT THAT!" 7. Inform a male co-worker that he wouldn't make a good hooker, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good ass fucking. 6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants. 5. Answer every question with " Fuck if I know...", then call the person a racial slur that doesn't match their race. 4. Brag about the fact that you carry a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty and go around shaking everyone's hand. 3. Run down the hall with your dick out spraying piss everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me, it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and say, "Oh." 2. Ask to borrow a co-worker's expensive pen- Bring it to the bathroom and stick it up your ass- return it to the person and tell them that it stinks and to smell it- when they say that it stinks, say "It should - - I had it up my ass!" 1. Shit on your office floor and when someone comes in and sees it tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of real shit - - point at him and laugh. spiral out...keep going... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBile 0 #2 October 2, 2002 Crude, vile & disgusting. I've never heard such filth on this forum before. Funny though. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #3 October 2, 2002 Oh, Venus of Milo, is that why your hands fell off?jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dida 0 #4 October 2, 2002 QuoteCrude, vile & disgusting. I've never heard such filth on this forum before look harder! spiral out...keep going... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SatchFan 0 #5 October 2, 2002 That was freakin' great! I am printing them out so I can give them a try. I don't want to leave any undone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cajones 0 #6 October 2, 2002 Does willingly sticking your coworkers pen up your ass for pleasure make me gay? The laws of physics are strictly enforced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #7 October 2, 2002 QuoteDoes willingly sticking your coworkers pen up your ass for pleasure make me gay? If you move up to using a pink highlighter that might make you gay... ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mujie96 0 #8 October 2, 2002 This is one of those threads that makes me proud to be a WOMAN. Jess Just keep swimming...just keep swimming.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #9 October 2, 2002 7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #10 October 2, 2002 There are days that I'm -SO- glad this isn't my forum to moderate. This is one of them.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nws01 0 #11 October 2, 2002 QuoteThis is one of them. This is not as bad as the "Have You Ever Done It Up the Poop Chute?" thread, Quade. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 October 2, 2002 QuoteQuoteDoes willingly sticking your coworkers pen up your ass for pleasure make me gay? If you move up to using a pink highlighter that might make you gay... "pink highlighter" Well that would be silly. How could I get my batteries in a highlighter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #13 October 2, 2002 QuoteDoes willingly sticking your coworkers pen up your ass for pleasure make me gay? No, but doing it "again" is a definite precursor.Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haylee 0 #14 October 2, 2002 I've got to stop reading this stuff at work - I couldn't stop laughing after #8 (my brother has done something similar and I started revisualizing that).Haylee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 October 2, 2002 At my office, we have those cool chairs that you spin around to raise or lower them. Each morning you spin a chair a few turns to lower it about an eighth of an inch. Over a period of a month, the chair lowers to the point that the persons desk is shoulder height. Wait and see how long it goes before they realize it is too low and adjust it. Then, do the reverse and raise it a little every day. Eventually, their feet don't touch the floor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enrique 0 #16 October 2, 2002 QuoteThis is one of those threads that makes me proud to be a WOMAN. Jess*** You sexist woman! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
