freakydiver 0 #1 June 23, 2003 This was posted over in General Skydiving Discussions kind of incorrectly... Have fun reading, don't laugh I didn't get sued... Unreal. Sitting here at work still a non-believer. Its kind of non-skydive related, but hey, I gotta get my camp on sometime livin in this beautiful state (that and my dogs get pissed if I don't let em run around for a couple of days)... So anyhow, bear with me here its kind of a long one. Me and the fioncee and a couple of friends decide to get our camp on this weekend in a nice remote spot that gets us nice and far away from all other people so the dogs can go and pilage the local wildlife as much as they feel necessary (they are gettin older now so they don't run so much anymore (-: ). Get up all early on Saturday to get driving. Get up to the spot and jump out. No wait - wrong sport... Get up to the spot in question and find it nice and empty. In fact, haven't seen anyone for the past hour drivin down that fireroad (for non Westerners, a fireroad is what the forest service uses to access the deep dark woods in mountainous states - its like a nice paved dirt road that actually gets maintained). After the hour down the fire road and 12 miles down a pretty hefty four wheel drive road we get to the spot and begin to unload the beer, and the beer, some of the Jack Daniels, and oh yah the tent. So here we are unloadin the vehicles and partaking in some recreational drinking and the such thanking our lucky stars that we have never seen anyone in our secret little out of the way camping location (p.s. for ANY skydiver, let me know and I'll introduce anyone of you to this place - there is an amazing waterfall and big ol fishin hole only 30 feet away from the campsite as well as three fourteeners and a shitload of 13ers all right there for the really motivated, really kick ass place) and sure enough up pulls a man in his late fifties or so and his son I presumed... Now we are all parked on the main road as we don't like to just wreak havoc off of the main trail. These guys pull right by us unpackin the vehicle and stop literally 12 inches away from the makeshift firepit that has been there for the past decade. It was quite a nice maneuver as they had to negotiate past our half built tents and open beer coolers. I thought to myself, hmmm, wonder what the hell they are doing as officially, since we were in the site for the past 30 minutes, we considered it officially ours (yah right lol). I proceeded to ask them if they'd mind moving their ATVs out of the way so we could contiune to set up camp. The very first words out of his mouth were - "You are kidding yourself if you think I'm giving up my campsite. Our whole family is supossed to meet us here in two hours for a picnic." I was floored. Couldn't be more floored than that at that moment. I in all my years of haulin a fifty pound pack around the Colorado mountains had never experienced such disdain for everyday human to human common sense ethics. I didn't have a clue what to do next and since I know how my temper is (I can't keep it together when dealing with pure asshole very well and have resorted to fist throwing once in awhile), we retreated to our vehicles to figure it out. After talking about it, I decided to go back and show them my fioncess badge (she's an industrial inspector in Denver and gets a real enough looking badge). I showed him the badge and proceeded to lie through my teeth that having ATVs off trail in National Forest is a 500 dollar fine per atv and that my fioncee is an off duty Forest Ranger. I told the guy that I didn't want to start any trouble, but that he should consider moving his vehicles so she didn't have to call her "on-duty" partner to come fine his ass. His response, I kid you not, "I don't give two shits about no 1000 fine, I'm rich". At this point, I began to lose it a bit, i.e. "Are you F#$%^% serious, you are just going to plop your hick ass (no offense hicks, I'm pretty damn hick myself) down right here and not move?" Him: "Yes" Me: "Wow, F#$%^%^ unreal, I leave Denver exactly for the reason of getting away from people like you." HIS SONS RESPONSE: Gets off of ATV and begins to get in my face asking me why it was alright for us to be parked where we were (on a marked road) and not alright for them to be parked where they were (in the middle of my campsite where nothing of their's existed except for two ATVs). My response: "Screw it." Pretended to pick up cell phone and call Jim, the mythical forest ranger that my mythical off duty forest ranger fioncee is partners with and proceeeded to tell Jim (nothing on other end of line) that it would be great to see him since its been so long and that it would be really nice to see two idiot ATV riders get large and in charge tickets. So anyone who has read this far thanks - it gets WAY WAY WAY better. Their response, begin getting fishing tackle out of their atvs. Begin setting up fishing poles. Begin fishing. At this point my dog peed on one of the atvs (right on Malcolm!) so that was good. Point is they were not leaving. As I said b4, I tend to have a really difficult time dealing with my temper and usually end up getting my ass kicked in and handed to me on a plate for my lack of musculature. So this idea pops into my head - "What Freaky learned this weekend"... When all else fails, get nude. My fioncee comes over to me and says f it, she is locating the most vulgar Eminem cd she can find where Eminem wants to kill everyone. I get this idea in my head that no one wants to deal with some sort of wacko. How do I seem wacko without a gun or muscles? NUDITY!!!!!! It hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times have you been fishing in the remote woods and seen a nude guy walking down the middle of the river you are fishin in?? I took all of my clothes off and proceeded to do just that. (NO LAUGHING, I AVOIDED FIGHTING HEHEHEHE). Walked right by the assholes while they were getting their fish on and proceeded to splash about like a merry naked guy. As this was going on, the guy's wife and daughter show up in their lame ass jeep take one look out of the window and take one listen to the Eminem cranking on some strangers radio and backed straight out. The guys shortly followed in a hurried state as apparently they've never seen a nude dude in the woods before. True story I kid you not. Oh yah - so people don't think I'm some crazy (wait, I already am...) I really used to have a big temper problem growing up and almost got sued up the ass twice because of it. I'm 99 percent sure that if I hadn't thought about nudity, I'd almost be getting my ass sued once again. LOL -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #2 June 23, 2003 Sheesh!!! that's too long to read...I'll wait for the movie to come out. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #3 June 23, 2003 I'm actually in the process of making a movie to perhaps get into film school... This is DEFINATELY going in the movie... -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 June 23, 2003 QuoteSheesh!!! that's too long to read...I'll wait for the movie to come out. LOL................Ditto~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #5 June 23, 2003 Freakin skydivers -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 1 #6 June 23, 2003 It may have been long to read, but it was F&(^in hilarious!!!!She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #7 June 23, 2003 On a serious note, what kind of movies you're planning to produce?, some years ago, me and my friend used to film stuff (he went to school and all) I wrote several scripts (mostly sci-fi/horror), it was fun. It was a little hobby of mine.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #8 June 23, 2003 THANK YOU eeneRenee!!!!!!! Documentaries actually. Working on a backcountry epic film regarding the history of Berthoud Pass and places like it in Rocky Mountain history. -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #9 June 23, 2003 QuoteI took all of my clothes off and proceeded to do just that. (NO LAUGHING, I AVOIDED FIGHTING HEHEHEHE). Walked right by the assholes while they were getting their fish on and proceeded to splash about like a merry naked guy. As this was going on, the guy's wife and daughter show up in their lame ass jeep take one look out of the window and take one listen to the Eminem cranking on some strangers radio and backed straight out. The guys shortly followed in a hurried state as apparently they've never seen a nude dude in the woods before. RIGHT ON DUDE!! I can't believe the nerve of some people. Well done finding a solution to your pest control problem. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #10 June 23, 2003 I hope you post some of your work someday.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #11 June 23, 2003 That was fucking awesome. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #12 June 23, 2003 I'm a tryin... I suck though so I'm not bankin on it... -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #13 June 23, 2003 QuoteIt may have been long to read, but it was F&(^in hilarious!!!! Damn right it was! It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,150 #14 June 23, 2003 Awesome idea! Absolutely awesome. The only other thing might have been to start behaving as though the couples were the two guys and the two women Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #15 June 23, 2003 Stranlgey enough, the other couple was puss and sat in their car and watched us deal with it - makes me miss the DZ on the weekends!!! -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflyz 0 #16 June 23, 2003 "When In Doubt Get Naked" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westcoastchica 0 #17 June 23, 2003 dude...that was totally worth the time it took to read, and more! i'm sending this over to my brother..he has found himself in similar positions and he too has *ahem* temper issues at times. so i understand how hard it was to get creative instead of getting violent. you get a lot of respect out of me for that!! GOOOOO NEKKID FREAKYDIVER! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #18 June 23, 2003 Yah its too bad I'm not out in the middle of nowhere when things like this happen to me regularly. ... "In other news, a man got cut off on Interstate 25 by someone on their cell phone. The next thing the cell phone driver knew is there was a completely nude guy clutching onto the ski rack on the roof while she frantically drove at speeds in excess of 120 mph to get the guy off" ... Nude guy says... "120 aint shit to me" ROFL -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westcoastchica 0 #19 June 23, 2003 edit: ...completely nude guy except for what appeared to be some sort of helmet with a camera affixed to it... i wonder if footage of that would qualify for skydivingmovies.com ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #20 June 23, 2003 DAMN IT! I HAD MY CAMERA HELMET WITH ME TOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWW! Feeling like a complete failure in representing all camera jumpers everywhere and anywhere. -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #21 June 23, 2003 What a beautiful story I love it and I will remember this for the next time I need to clear a campsite Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #22 June 23, 2003 Please pass the nudity... -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldnewbie 0 #23 June 23, 2003 This may have been long, but damn, was it funny!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luminous 0 #24 June 24, 2003 Not bad. But I'm not watching the movie as there was no mention of the gf getting naked with you. 'In an insane society a sane person seems insane.' Mr. Spock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #25 June 24, 2003 [QUOTE]I hope you post some of your work someday.[/QUOTE] But don't post any movies where you're naked walking in a river. Please. Let the chicks be naked though, yeeeehaw! --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
