The difference between cats and dogs

[JJohnson 0]

Excerpts from a dog's daily diary:
7:00 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am- OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am- OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am- OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm- OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm- OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm- OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm- OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm- OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

Excerpts from a cat's daily diary:

Day 183 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while theywere walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed too. Wonder how long it will take them to find it?

I decapittated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescened about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was to MY power of "ellergeez". Must learnwhat the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches as well. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a hal-wit! The bird on the other hand appears to have become an informant and speaks with them regulary. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is preserved.
But I can wait, it's only a matter of time......

JJ

"Call me Darth Balls"

[ACMESkydiver 0]

The difference between cats and dogs:

Dogs are cool.
Cats suck.

That is all. Carry on.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Kennedy 0]

IVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

just kidding. I love that. It's almost as good as "how to give each medicine."

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[newsstand 0]

I can image my cats saying exactly what is in JJohnson's post but you have clearly never owned a cat.

BTW I have seven dogs and three cats so no accusactions of favoring cats.

"Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

[Lee03 0]

"The difference between cats and dogs" ? You will never find an animal more loyal or that will love you more than a dog! Stick by you regardless, defend you, to the death if necessary, save you life, literally! Nothing wrong with cats, but they won't do none of that.

--------
To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities.

--Nevil Shute, Slide Rule

[Unstable 8]

Yeah, Dogs Rule and Cats Drool....
(I haven't said that in a long time....)

=========Shaun ==========

[bertusgeert 1]

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defend you, to the death if necessary, save you life, literally! Nothing wrong with cats, but they won't do none of that.

One of my friends had someone visit, and the cat must have thought he was an intruder in the middle of the night at the back gate. So the cat totally attacked him, scratches all over his face.
But I have to say, that guy had one cat in a million!

You can come home 6 times in an hour, and the dog will act like he hasnt seen you in two weeks evertime.
A cat, well, will sit there and watch you, and get pissed when you try to pick it up.

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As jy dom is moet jy bloei!

[Ron 7]

Dogs are a joy to be around.

Cats...I like cats. I can't eat a whole one by myself though.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[benny 0]

You hit the nail on the head, cat's think for themselves. Dogs need us to think for them and affirm their existence, if you don't they'll shit on your carpet

Never go to a DZ strip show.

[kingbunky 3]

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You can come home 6 times in an hour, and the dog will act like he hasnt seen you in two weeks evertime.
A cat, well, will sit there and watch you, and get pissed when you try to pick it up.

exactly... my dog is the only one in the house who always meets me at the door and is always happy to see me. the cat just lays on the couch, or on the floor, on his back with all his legs splayed out and sort of says 'hey.'

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[jakee 1,257]

your cats a stoner?

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Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? It needs a big wide sounding word like... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?"

the only thing the vase of petunias thought was "not again"

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[skygirl1 1]

personally I cannot stand any critter that sheds hair all over the place...so I got rid of furry animals and became an avid reptile keeper.........IGUANAS RULE!

skygirl1

" Mean people SUCK!"

[n2skdvn 0]

i just wonder why cats like to get on the highest shelf in the house and knock shit off of it.(reason my wireless router is ziptied to the shelf.) that and you can buy them a toy and the box it came is played with more than the toy. on the other hand is my rott is completely happy with a big branch.(not a stick a BRANCH!!)

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[EdC 0]

My black lab likes to run around the yard and taunt my golden retriever with branches that fall of the trees in the yard. Oh yeah, they both love tennis balls.

Big Ed

[Brisco 0]

With a dog, you are innocent until proven guilty and even then you're innocent.

With a cat you are guilty until proven innocent and even then you're guilty.

Brisco

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

[n2skdvn 0]

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With a dog, you are innocent until proven guilty and even then you're innocent.

With a cat you are guilty until proven innocent and even then you're guilty.

or a dog is always happy to see you ...

a cat just looks at you and thinks fuck you feed me!!!

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[happythoughts 0]

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Cats...I like cats. I can't eat a whole one by myself though.

Use smaller cats. Of course, you need to talk to some of the Korean chics for good small-cat recipes.

[happythoughts 0]

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You hit the nail on the head, cat's think for themselves

Of course, hitting a cat on the head will make them think. Ever notice how they can stare at you for hours without blinking? A good whack will make them blink.

[raftman 12]

The difference:
More dark meat on the cats!

[DShiznit 0]

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The difference:
More dark meat on the cats!

oh, you're going to hell for that one.....

My dogs rock. My cats just lay around and get hair all over the damn place.

[Harksaw 0]

The difference between a dog and a cat is when you feed a dog, he thinks "Wow, this guy must be God"

When you feed a cat, he thinks "Wow, I must be God!"

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I started skydiving for the money and the chicks. Oh, wait.