Should women be financially stable before getting married?

[rhoni_renee 0]

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A lot of women in my mom's generation ended up in that situation or worse. A lot of women in MY generation are a little wiser as a result!

The sad thing is, a lot fewer kids get to go home and eat lunch with their moms like I used to be able to do when I was in grade school.

I understand the draw of having a parent at home but you can have a good balance. I'm a working mother. But I often surprise my son at school with lunch. I bring us both hamburgers or pizza & sit and eat with him. Sometimes it's only twice a month, sometimes I manage four. But he loves it. We also sit down and do homework "together" and eat dinner together. My child was always in daycare but then, he's a very social kid. He flourished around other kids.

RR

Now is the time to take possession of my life, to start the impossible, a journey to the limits of my aspirations. For the first time to step toward my loveliest dream...." -- Hugh Prather

[fireflytx 0]

To be a good wife I don't think a woman should bring any of her debt into a marriage and expect her husband to help her pay it off.

And I think a woman should also want to have a lot of sex if she wants to be a good wife

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

[PLFXpert 0]

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And know what? If I love a man and we both want to get married, I don't see why I would have to put my relationship on hold with him, just to have money?!?!?! Course I would have a job afterwards, just probably not straight out of college.

Oh, please go to page 3 and read my story.
1. You might just have a good job straight out of college---I did.
2. It would definitely not be just for money that you'd be putting marriage on hold.

We sound a lot alike, but having just come through where you are now, it's worth at least listening to the other points of view, even if you ultimately stick to your current opinion.

I, too, was a communications major (and also a sociology and pychology major) and graduated w/ all 3. I thought I knew everything b/c I was so mature for my age and had accomplished a lot of things people much older hadn't, and before I continue tooting my own horn---I still had a LOT to learn, I discovered

(edited to add, since I just read your most previous post:) You sound a lot like me. I did very well managing my own money through college. I met my current hottie while still in college (age 20) when I started skydiving. I've been saving/investing since age 13. I completely admire and respect you for all of that. I know how much that sets you apart from the rest and how mature you obviously are. But, things DO change, no matter all of the above.

Skymama, can tell you, I didn't want to hear that same old shmack about "but you're only 20" and "that's what they all say, give it time when you're older, you'll see" and I'm like, geez, do these people even know what I've already done/accomplished? But they're still right, even if they don't know. They're right b/c no matter who you are, you STILL change your wants/needs/views into your 20s and after college. It happens to the best of us.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[tigra 0]

One of my sisters also does an excellent job balancing a career and motherhood, and I honestly don't know how she manages it all. She makes it to the ball games, recitals, etc., and chauffers them to music classes and football practice, and they STILL manage to sit down at the dinner table together more often than not. I think she's a freak of nature! I forget to feed my fish when I'm working too many hours! Dealing with a child's busy schedule on top of my own? I give her and ALL working moms a ton of credit because I'm not at all sure I could do it myself.

[windcatcher 0]

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We sound a lot alike, but having just come through where you are now, it's worth at least listening to the other points of view, even if you ultimately stick to your current opinion.

I, too, was a communications major (and also a sociology and pychology major) and graduated w/ all 3. I thought I knew everything b/c I was so mature for my age and had accomplished a lot of things people much older hadn't, and before I continue tooting my own horn---I still had a LOT to learn, I discovered

Oh, I appreciate all that, but I am NOT someone who thinks they know it all, especially at my young age;I'm always willing to learn. However, I am also a republican, Christian, etc, and the things that I think are wrong, many will think are right, and if I believe something that matches what my beliefs are, that's what I will maintain. When everyone has their own beliefs, it's hard for them to see where the other person is coming from, since what they believe is "right" for them, may be wrong for someone else. So, all in all, I disagree a lot, because my beliefs are different. And others would disagree with me too,which is fine cause they believe differently.

and fireflytx, I agree--a good wife should get LOTS of sex

Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

[rhoni_renee 0]

It gets crazy sometimes. Working full time, school full time (online thankfully), my martial arts on Mon/Wed, his on Tues/Thurs/Sat. But I have the advantage of being a single mom. Yep...advantage. It's just the two of us so the time we spend together is ours. We're very close because of it. I go to all his events and he's at my karate classes with me.

That being said, I admire stay at home moms. THAT'S a full time job!! Who said it earlier...24/7/365! I get a break while at the office. They're on all the time.

RR

Now is the time to take possession of my life, to start the impossible, a journey to the limits of my aspirations. For the first time to step toward my loveliest dream...." -- Hugh Prather

[PLFXpert 0]

Oh, no, I definitely didn't mean to imply you "know it all" or that I thought I did. I was smart enough, as you are, to realize I didn't, but I what I didn't realize, was that even as strongly as I felt about certain things back then, as you do, those might change, even if just slightly, into the later years.

I am stubborn, and always on high-speed-go-go-go, but I always love to laugh, joke and most importantly, have an open mind. I won every debate on the debate team in high school and college. But I have to say, after hearing other people's points, even if it didn't fully change my point of view, and even if I could refute them well enough to win my side, once in a while, someone would wake me up to something I hadn't thought of/knew about and my opinion would change. I think it's very important to entertain other's ideas/thought even if they conflict with your own.

I don't "disagree" with you, necessarily. I'm just offering up another point of view---if it influences you b/c it makes sense, wonderful. If not, then that's OK, too. I wouldn't think any less of you.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[tigra 0]

That's a crazy schedule!

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[windcatcher 0]

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Oh, no, I definitely didn't mean to imply you "know it all" or that I thought I did. I was smart enough, as you are, to realize I didn't, but I what I didn't realize, was that even as strongly as I felt about certain things back then, as you do, those might change, even if just slightly, into the later years.

I am stubborn, and always on high-speed-go-go-go, but I always love to laugh, joke and most importantly, have an open mind. I won every debate on the debate team in high school and college. But I have to say, after hearing other people's points, even if it didn't fully change my point of view, and even if I could refute them well enough to win my side, once in a while, someone would wake me up to something I hadn't thought of/knew about and my opinion would change. I think it's very important to entertain other's ideas/thought even if they conflict with your own.

I don't "disagree" with you, necessarily. I'm just offering up another point of view---if it influences you b/c it makes sense, wonderful. If not, then that's OK, too. I wouldn't think any less of you.

eh, no worries girl! This is just the internet, where people don't really know each other, but are quick to make judgments based on beliefs, opinions, even just one post. We all have our opinion; just cause someone disagrees with me, doesn't me I'm not going to like or get along with someone,or make judgements about them.
I have learned a lot from when I was really young and my father taught me all women should have long hair and wear dresses 24/7. I listen, but may still disagree

Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

[caress 0]

I think it is a great idea for both sexes to be stable finacially before getting married but it certainly doesn't go that way most of the time. It usually will cut back on the arguing over money crap. My hubby and I don't argue about stuff that we cannot change at the moment. If we are short money, stuff has to wait if it don't wait then we weren't meant to have it. I myself think stress is something I just don't have time for and allow into my life. Just my honest opinion-Caress

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being
right.