So last night, I had to take care of a drunk friend of mine... *insight or advice appreciated*

[grue 1]

So last night, a couple friends of mine called me for a ride from the bars (I've told 'em they can always call, since I'd rather have 'em annoy me than get themselves or someone else killed).


One of 'em I dropped at another party, and the other (who I'll take this moment to note I've always been attracted to) was past the point where I was going to allow her to go back out, so I took her back to her apartment, where she promptly got sick. I stuck around to take care of her for a while, holding her hair, wiping her mouth, and all that oh-so-attractive stuff relating to girls puking for all they're worth.

Well, eventually, she was to the point where she felt ok to go to bed, so I helped her clean up, and then put her into bed. As I started getting ready to drive home, she asked me to stay. I agreed, and started to set up camp on the couch, at which point she told me she wanted me to sleep in her bed with her. So I climbed into bed, and she immediately curled up against me, and then grabbed my hand and didn't let go until morning. When we woke up, she kept apologising for being a pain in the ass (her words, not mine!), and promised she'd make it up to me.

So anyway, I ask you this: How the hell do I interpret her behaviour? Should I write it off as a side effect of intoxication? Should I assume she just wanted someone nearby? Should I talk to her about it? I really have no idea.

cavete terrae.

[Flygurl 0]

It's hard to interpret drunk behavior. It may be that she likes you and that was brought out by the alcohol. Or it may be that she thinks of you as a great friend and wanted your comfortable presence.

My advice would be to ask her out if you really like her. Life is short. You have everything to gain and little to lose.

________________________________________

"One out of every four American's are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

[Guest 1010]

what flygirl said. She trusts you. If you are interested, ask her out. There are _worse_ ways to spend a night ... assuming the puke/her breath/was sufficiently cleaned up before hand.

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[sioux 0]

Alcohol is a disinhibitor, meaning it removes inhibition. With her inhibitions removed, she demonstrated that she likes and trusts you.

You don't have to talk about it with her, because the natural inhibitions will be back in place without the alcohol. But you should definitely ask her out!

I haven't seen such convoluted lines of conversation and such expert chronicling thereof since my days of all day bong marathons in college. ~ Lindercles

[kirrz 0]

I don't know.. I think jumping to the conclusion that she likes you 'that way' may be a bit rash. Maybe she does but I don't think you could pull that out from this situation.

I think in the situation last night, it was a case of comforting presence more than anything. I think if she was that drunk and she did like you and was in the same bed as you, she would have tried to at least make some kind of move.

I'm really really uncomfortable sharing beds with guys even if they're good friends because I hate it when guys get the wrong idea & think too much. If I have any sort of hint at all that they may like me, then I will run from this situation even faster.

But I've been in both situations.

Been drunk & hopped in a friend's bed even though I suspected that he liked me .. but I wanted the comforting presence - and the trust there because he was a good mate outweighed rational thinking.. nothing happened but in the morning I was a bit..errrr...

And the second- got drunk & was with a really good friend I had been attracted to for ages.. ended up having to sleep in his bed but could not help but make a move. Actually this has happened twice.

So please stop analyzing things more than they need to be.. you don't know what she was thinking.. you can speculate all you want but please don't get your hopes up.

And in regards to the advice being given about asking her out.. well.. that's a whole other judgement call. It depends on how good friends you are etc.. And if she doesn't feel the same, you run the risk of ruining your friendship & tripping her out (whether she is overt about it or not, it will always play in her mind).

Hope this helps!

[vibeke 0]

First off, the situation you describe does not indicate that she has interests in you that way. Its your wishfull thinking.

However it is an indication that she trusts you and likes your presence.

You say you are attracted to her?
She could have interest in you, as more than a friend. However she just had an opportunity to take action, wich she did not use.

I say its up to you to decide if your attraction is strong enough, to be willing to take a chance with it.
Ask her out, and be sure she understands its a date.

Husk at leve mens du gør det, husk at elske mens du tør det.
Danish poet Piet Hein.

Translates: Live life during life (/now), love while you dare.

_________________________________________________________
Your success and happiness, is in direct proportions to your commitment to excellence, regardless of your chosen field of endeavour.

[Thanatos340 1]

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So anyway, I ask you this: How the hell do I interpret her behaviour? Should I write it off as a side effect of intoxication? Should I assume she just wanted someone nearby? Should I talk to her about it? I really have no idea.

Why ask Us?? How about ASK HER!!

Start with a Call to make sure she is feeing better. Be straight forward and ask. All the game playing, Posturing and Wondering if someone is interested or not is not worth it. If you are interested in someone, Let them know in no uncertain terms. Find out exactly where you stand. If they are not interested, At least you will know.
If they are not mature enough to give you a straight answer on whether or not they are interested, Then Move on.

[Salsa_John 0]

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It's hard to interpret drunk behavior. It may be that she likes you and that was brought out by the alcohol. Or it may be that she thinks of you as a great friend and wanted your comfortable presence.

My advice would be to ask her out if you really like her. Life is short. You have everything to gain and little to lose.

I agree. You did a really nice thing and did not take unfair advantage of the situation. You are a great friend to have. I've been there too.

"You did what?!?!"

MUFF #3722, TDSM #72, Orfun #26, Nachos Rodriguez

[skybytch 259]

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She could have interest in you, as more than a friend. However she just had an opportunity to take action, wich she did not use.

Not all people (not going to generalize by gender on this one) feel the need to have sex to show that they are interested in someone. Maybe she "likes" him but doesn't want the first time she has sex with someone to happen when she's drunk.

Or maybe after all that puking she just wasn't horny.

Regardless, grue, your momma musta raised you right.

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[kirrz 0]

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Not all people (not going to generalize by gender on this one) feel the need to have sex to show that they are interested in someone. Maybe she "likes" him but doesn't want the first time she has sex with someone to happen when she's drunk.

see i don't know...if she was that drunk that she was throwing up & needed to be taken home, then i doubt she would have been in a frame of mind to be thinking rationally enough to asess the situation & then act accordingly..
& it doesn't have to be sex at all.. even a kiss?

[grue 1]

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see i don't know...if she was that drunk that she was throwing up & needed to be taken home, then i doubt she would have been in a frame of mind to be thinking rationally enough to asess the situation & then act accordingly..
& it doesn't have to be sex at all.. even a kiss?

It should be mentioned, that she was completely obliterated. I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom to put her in bed. Even if the thought occurred to her, I doubt she could have executed any actions along those lines.

cavete terrae.

[Icon134 0]

I wouldn't read into it either... and if you're interested you can either ask her to go out on a date or not do anything...

Of course given my track record with women... (or lack there of...) I'm probably not the best person to take advice from.

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[vibeke 0]

Im not suggesting her only way of letting him know she had interest, was to fuck the guy...
All Im saying is that she probably would have done something beyond holding his hand, if she wanted to show her interest.
Im not saying she is not interested. Im saying that the way I interpret the described situation, she did not try to convey any passion she might have felt for him, in her actions that night.

He should take initiative if he´s into her.
Grue; sometimes in order to live life to its fullest, you gotta take chances! Be willing to hurt a little.

_________________________________________________________
Your success and happiness, is in direct proportions to your commitment to excellence, regardless of your chosen field of endeavour.

[tigra 0]

I'm with you in the don't read too much into it/ don't over analyze/ DO take the initiative if you are interested camp.

[charmsdroppop 0]

You are such a gentleman for your sincere behavior. You can sleep in my bed with me anyday!!!!!!!
For real, I would totally talk to her and refresh her memory. It will be very appreciated. Alot of girls don't claim memory loss because of the " toldya so, stupid feeling" attitude. Ask her and be real as you have proven already tho she may not know it.

[stoneycase 0]

has anyone chastized you yet for being "the nice guy"?

normally i would, but i'm hoping your good friends will pick that up and run with it. that is, after all, what friends are for :)

since you're asking for the .02, here goes: interpret her actions as just being flat out drunk. she's looking for the comfort factor - she feels like shit, and you were more than happy to oblige. problem with that is you were looking at this as a potential opportunity; you've been wanting more from her.

easiest way to verify this, imho, watch her girlfriend's reactions. what they say to you about you taking care of her, or whether or not they make fun of her for puking, etc etc will most likely give you a good indication of where to go. if it's all a big joke, no harm no foul, then you just put yourself through some pain for nothing. watch her friends, i'm telling you, if she went to them afterwards and went on and on about you, you'll hear about it. at that point, i'd say you need to move forward all ahead full steam, even if it's only to crash into a brick wall ;)

just an aside, i'm a firm believer in "windows of opportunity", especially when it comes to the opposite sex. whether it be at the bar, in the grocery store, with a good friend, etc etc. you only have a few moments, maybe minutes, if you're extremely lucky hours or days, to close on an opportunity. this is your opportunity, if you decide to look at it that way. gamble man, roll those dice, its only life.

Does whisky count as beer? - Homer
There's no justice like angry mob justice. - Skinner
Be careful. There's a limited future in low pulls - JohnMitchell

[gmittar 0]

My God Man! Ask her out, what's with the big fuss? Stop being a wuss and just do it, for fuck's sake!

Stop this daisy plucking bullshit and ask, the worst she can say is no, and even then that's not that bad.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?