livendive 8 #51 February 8, 2006 Quote Might I present a possibility though? The possibility that the ONLY reason you will be uncomfortable is because you decided beforehand, that you will? Talk it through, you'll have to know WHY you are uncomfortable with the idea... not just "The idea of him with another girl" as a blanket statement. I was trying to stay out of this one, but have to respond. Just a thought that may or may not be agreeable. Everyone doesn't have to touch everyone in a threesome. There are primarily two aspects that make a threesome arousing to men (at least in my mind). One is the ego boost of feeling desired by two women and capable of satisfying both (or at least thinking one is). The other is the taboo and just plain eroticism of two women together. It's possible that she could satisfy the second aspect without hitting her jealousy button. Just lay ground rules, i.e. he and the other girl can touch, kiss, lick, etc. her, but not each other. That's still damned erotic, and might be a decent compromise for everyone involved, as long as they can clear the other hurdles. Of course, while she mentioned her potential jealousy, she didn't mentioned his. Sex with someone else is sex with someone else, regardless of gender. The possibility exists that when push comes to shove, he'll feel threatened by someone else pleasing her sexually, even if it is a hot chick at his request. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #52 February 8, 2006 My day would involve a high horse for everyone, and a game of Strip UNO. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymous100 0 #53 February 8, 2006 Stoneycase completely hit the nail on the head. He feels one-upped, outdone. He's made it clear that it's not the actual threesome that's a big deal, it's exactly as you said, he just doesn't see it as being "fair" that I've done this outlandish thing that he never has. And, as you said, I did tell him once that I didn't think I could handle it and he very politely told me that was ok and that he would never want to hurt me...but, also like you said, the underlying issue remained and reared its ugly head later: he is still jealous of my prior experience. Thank you all so much for your responses. Several of you have made good suggestions. Stoneycase, you're right that coming up with something "creative" that is new to both of us may be a good way to get past this. Maybe another outlandish but different experience is just what we need. That's a great idea and may be just the solution. Goose, you bring up a good point too. The truth is I don't completely understand my issues about it beyond "the idea of him with another girl". I'm actually not afraid at all that he'll leave me for whoever we bring home together. He's made it clear that he doesn't even care if it’s one of my really unattractive friends...he just wants the experience so he doesn't feel one-upped anymore. But for some reason the thought of seeing him kiss, touch, do ANYTHING with another girl just turns my stomach in knots and makes me feel like I want to throw up and cry at the same time. So why do I have such a problem with it? I don't know. I think about having a threesome with him and another man and I can’t bear the thought of touching another man, let alone in front of my SO. I guess I just want him to feel the same way. I want what I can’t have…a man that wants me…just me…only me, and doesn’t even want to touch other women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeepDiver 0 #54 February 8, 2006 QuoteAnyway, as a bottom line: be true to yourself, and respectful to your partner. Good luck. ...and don't forget to take lots of pictures. The more the better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #55 February 8, 2006 QuoteI want what I can’t have… This is true about almost everyone... cause if you have it... there's no point in wanting it anymore... ScottLivin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #56 February 8, 2006 I just thought of something. Say she had a threesome with 2 other girls. Would he want to have a threesome with 2 other guys then? Just wondering. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #57 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuoteI want what I can’t have… This is true about almost everyone... cause if you have it... there's no point in wanting it anymore... I'm not so pessimistic about it. I think there's wanting to have something you don't, and then wanting to keep what you have. Both can be equally strong desires. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #58 February 8, 2006 QuoteI want what I can’t have…a man that wants me…just me…only me, and doesn’t even want to touch other women. What makes you think you can't have such a thing? Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redramdriver 0 #59 February 8, 2006 I don't care who ya r, that theres funny!So, you bring your beer? Its 5 o'clock somewhere POPS #9344 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #60 February 8, 2006 Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week, every week. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeiber 0 #61 February 8, 2006 Ok, this may not be PC, but it's the truth... The 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay). Now, let's turn the tables a little bit. Ladies, how would you feel if you found out your guy had written absolutely beautiful, heart melting, *poetry to a previous girlfriend, but when it comes to romance in your relationship, he doesn't even hold the door for you. You're honestly telling me it wouldn't bother you, that he's not willing to do for you, what he would previously do for someone else he cared about? Yeah, maybe it'll screw things up, maybe it won't. In either case, you screwed up by telling him you gave another guy a 'gift' you won't give him. Seriously, what did you think his response would be, 'oh that's nice, I'm glad you got it out of your system, 'cause that kind of thing really disgusts me'? Sorry to not be sympathetic, but you really should have known better... Don't you girls talk about these things when you go to the bathroom together?! For the record, no, I haven't had one (yet). Oh so close one time, and I'm starting to tear up thinking about how close it was.... the other girl ended up just watching us. I replay that night over and over in my mind, wondering what I could have possibly said or done different to make it happen. Sometimes I think God enjoys tormenting me.... Jeff *If romance isn't your thing, replace poetry with something else you REALLY want, and imagine your significant other did it for someone else, but not you.Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymous100 0 #62 February 8, 2006 But that's the thing...this isn't something I did for someone previously that I won't do for him. I've never had a threesome with another girl, and that's what he's asking for. He would never want to have a threesome with me and another man...and that IS what I did in the past. It's not like I'm denying him something I did for someone else. And it's not like my threesome was a repeated action as your "doing romantic things" example is. I made one mistake and I hate that I did it. Why should I have to do something else I hate just so he can feel like he hasn't been outdone? I don't expect him to do things with me that he may have done and regretted in the past. That's why I'm having trouble justifying doing this for him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #63 February 8, 2006 Oh no! Not LOVE LETTERS! How dare he love someone before me and not act the same way. Obviously the love letters didn't work if they aren't together and he's with me now. I wouldn't give a crap. As for three ways being the Holy Grail for a guy, that's some funny shit right there. If that's what you want then you should find a girl that wants that too. It's not that hard to find people that go for it. Check Craigslist. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #64 February 8, 2006 QuoteBut that's the thing...this isn't something I did for someone previously that I won't do for him. I've never had a threesome with another girl, and that's what he's asking for. He would never want to have a threesome with me and another man...and that IS what I did in the past. It's not like I'm denying him something I did for someone else. And it's not like my threesome was a repeated action as your "doing romantic things" example is. I made one mistake and I hate that I did it. Why should I have to do something else I hate just so he can feel like he hasn't been outdone? I don't expect him to do things with me that he may have done and regretted in the past. That's why I'm having trouble justifying doing this for him. You don't. If you don't want to do something and he's trying to force you or guilt you into it then in my opinion he's a big jackass that doesn't really give a shit about you or your feelings. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Seriously. If he doesn't like it, tell him to get lost. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 3 #65 February 8, 2006 QuoteYou don't. If you don't want to do something and he's trying to force you or guilt you into it then in my opinion he's a big jackass that doesn't really give a shit about you or your feelings. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Seriously. If he doesn't like it, tell him to get lost. Totally and unequivocally agreed. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #66 February 8, 2006 QuoteThe 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay). Now this statement isn't ignorant. Excuse me, but I happen to know plenty of heterosexual males that would be completely grossed out by the idea of a threesome. Just because a majority of people don't think there's anything wrong with a threesome, doesn't mean those that think a threesome is immoral are gay. ( ooouu, let's see the flaming I get for this one!!! ) Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #67 February 8, 2006 That's so gay. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #68 February 8, 2006 Quote QuoteThe 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay). Now this statement isn't ignorant. Excuse me, but I happen to know plenty of heterosexual males that would be completely grossed out by the idea of a threesome. Just because a majority of people don't think there's anything wrong with a threesome, doesn't mean those that think a threesome is immoral are gay. ( ooouu, let's see the flaming I get for this one!!! ) Wait, this is starting to freak me out! My guy doesn't want to have a threesome with me and another girl! What if he's gay? I'd better force him to just to make sure. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #69 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuote QuoteThe 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay). Now this statement isn't ignorant. Excuse me, but I happen to know plenty of heterosexual males that would be completely grossed out by the idea of a threesome. Just because a majority of people don't think there's anything wrong with a threesome, doesn't mean those that think a threesome is immoral are gay. ( ooouu, let's see the flaming I get for this one!!! ) Wait, this is starting to freak me out! My guy doesn't want to have a threesome with me and another girl! What if he's gay? I'd better force him to just to make sure. since you're now coming to dublin, and I'm now coming to dublin, can i be the third? no wait... i'm a guy... if I were the third, that means he would be gay, or at least bi... shit, that won't work. hmm. gotta think about this a minute. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #70 February 8, 2006 I don't want to have a threesome. I'm completely fulfilled by my man in every way possible. Thanks anyway! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #71 February 8, 2006 Quote since you're now coming to dublin, and I'm now coming to dublin, can i be the third? no wait... i'm a guy... if I were the third, that means he would be gay, or at least bi... shit, that won't work. hmm. gotta think about this a minute. Wait, you could do the threesome with him and another guy, you know, so I won't have one up on ya'll. Please don't kill me honey, I'm just playing. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #72 February 8, 2006 QuoteThe 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay). Ok, I for one don't have any desire to have a threesome... My ultimate fantacy is to be deeply connected with one woman... (and only one woman...) emotionally, physically, intellectually, etc... Besides, I wouldn't know what to do with two women... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #73 February 8, 2006 QuoteBesides, I wouldn't know what to do with two women... That's easy. "Hey you--go get me a cold beer! And you, Blondie, go cook me some food!" (Please do not throw rocks at me ladies--it's only a joke and besides, you know I love you way too much to ever do anything like that!) Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #74 February 8, 2006 QuoteQuoteBesides, I wouldn't know what to do with two women... That's easy. "Hey you--go get me a cold beer! And you, Blondie, go cook me some food!" Walt Plus they have someone to talk to when you're done so you can go to sleep! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryno1972 0 #75 February 8, 2006 I would say no!! Shit like that can lead to problems down the road. It will drive a wedge between you two.glad to be here!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
