How my GF became a Legend at the DZ (a Bedtime story for Walt Appel)

[4WayXena 0]

Here's the story I promised dear Walt Appel I would post in another thread...

Once upon a time, on a DZ that didn't start sucking yet, I was on a skydiving team called 4inRelation. We were quite the crew and were know throughout Texas as "one of the more interesting 4way teams" to come around in a while.

For example, both times we won a medal at TSL, we mooned the crowd. If another team swiped our slot on the Otter, we mooned them as they landed. As the sunset load took off, we mooned the plane as it took off then cracked open our beers and started the party. Yeah, alot of people saw my butt over the years of jumping there but those are other stories... This story, however, is about one of our team rules. The most infamous one.

Once a 4way team has concluded it's career, it's considered poor form to share what happened when you were on said team. But time has passed, those involved in this adventure have signed the proper release forms and I can now share the story. It all began with one of our teamie’s habitual tardiness.

Finally, the team captain, Luminous, tells us all one Saturday afternoon, "The only excuse for being late is if you're having sex." The rest of us smirked at each other. On a four way team, you're allowed to think like an adolescent boy even if you're a chick.

"With someone else," he added.

He thought he had us 'cause he'd just gotten a new gf himself. Our smirks lessened a bit but we still thought we had a loop hole in the rule somewhere.

Then Luminous added the final bit "And you gotta bring proof!"

Now he knew he had us. I’m guessing Luminous was hoping for some video evidence. My hope was that my teammates Brad, Phil or Korshak didn’t come up with something particularly gruesome like a used condom or other such soiled prophylactic souvenir. Otherwise, the penalty for being late was a case of Shiner paid directly to the team cooler at sunset. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

That evening I received a surprise visit from my gf and I relayed the day’s silliness over dinner. Her interest was especially piqued when I told about the team’s new tardiness rule though she didn’t say a word to me at the time.

The next morning I got ready to go to the DZ for practice. As was my custom, I made a pot of freshly ground and brewed coffee in a French press. It was some really good stuff, I might add. And I poured a thermal mug full for myself and one for my gf who had stayed the night.

As I turned to hand her the mug, she took it from me, set the mug on the kitchen table and led me to the bedroom. Since this isn’t a letter to Hustler or Playboy, I won’t give you the details. Let’s just say she helped me fulfill the requirement for being late to practice.

After I collected myself, gathered the rest of my gear and coffee to head out the door, my first thought was, “I hope there wasn’t a video camera hidden in there or something.” My second thought was, “Oh yeah, I’m definitely late.” My third thought was, “Where in the hell can I buy a case of Shiner at 7:30am on a Sunday?”

Just as I was about to walk out the door, my gf, grabbed me around the waist, spun me around and gave me a big smooch and pressed into my hand a folded note. I read it, laughed and quit worrying about finding a case of Shiner at 7:30am on a Sunday.

I arrived at the DZ 15 minutes late. Coincidentally, my gf called just as I was pulling into a parking place. She wanted to know if the guys had seen the note yet. I was still on the phone, gear in hand, when Luminous caught me outside the hangar, trying to bust me for being late.

“You’re late!”

Without interrupting my phone conversation, I handed him the note and walked inside. As I was setting my gear down, I could hear him laughing hysterically outside. As each of the teamies showed up, the note was passed around and we had a great 4way practice.

A couple of weeks later, I went back out to the DZ for some fun jumping and found my note framed and nailed to the wall in our team area for all to see. The note went something like this –

To Whom It May Concern:

Please excuse Kirsten for being late to skydiving practice this morning, she was having sex. Not the white hot, monkey kind of sex but the “if you do me I’ll make you a cup of coffee” kind of sex. Just so you know, Kirsten makes a great cup of coffee.

Signed,
Kirsten’s Girlfriend

[billvon 2,454]

>"The only excuse for being late is if you're having sex." . . ."With someone else," he added.

>Then Luminous added the final bit "And you gotta bring proof!"

That would be a bad condition to put on Amy and me.

(BTW, Amy might be late to a few of the 8-way practices at the end of april . . .)

[4WayXena 0]

Nice to see you, Congressman! I'll be sure to chide her accordingly

Xena

[jumpergirl 0]

I've seen that note and laughed my butt off when I read it!!!

Thanks for sharing the story!!!

[waltappel 1]

Walt

[Remster 24]

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this isn’t a letter to Hustler or Playboy, I won’t give you the details.

BOOOOO!!!

HISSSSS!!!!

Remster

[labrys 0]

What he said

Owned by Remi #?

[4WayXena 0]

Hope that met with your approval Walt

And you BOOO HISSSSers... You just got no imagination and I'm not in the mood for bannination - so there!

[billvon 2,454]

>You just got no imagination and I'm not in the mood for bannination . . . .

Oh, I think bannination could be suspendified for a good story like that.

[waltappel 1]

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Hope that met with your approval Walt

And you BOOO HISSSSers... You just got no imagination and I'm not in the mood for bannination - so there!

I give it 5 out of 5 stars!!!

edited to add:
Hey, since it's a bedtime story for Walt Appel, does that mean....oh never mind.

Walt

[mnealtx 0]

That's frickin great!!! I bet Larry gave you hell about that for a good long time, too...

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[SpeedRacer 1]

mmmm ....lesbian dropzone sex.....mmm...

OK, I'm at work...I have to concentrate........on lesbian dropzone sex....no, on work.......

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[4WayXena 0]

Nah. Just added to the legend that was 4inRelation

[nbblood 0]

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And you BOOO HISSSSers... You just got no imagination and I'm not in the mood for bannination - so there!

Well, Kirsten, you know me. My imagination needs help and development. Let's talk this weekend, sounds like you might be able to help me out!

Blues,
Nathan

If you wait 'til the last minute, it'll only take a minute.

[Brains 2]

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Nah. Just added to the legend that was 4inRelation

That is the truth too. First time i ever jumped at Waller, i was warned to stay away from you guys. I later learned that was because you guys knew how to have fun as a team and my team was anti-fun. *cough* BLANTON*cough*

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

[labrys 0]

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And you BOOO HISSSSers... You just got no imagination

Oh HELL no, I have a great imagination and you've left it unfettered by refusing to share.

Owned by Remi #?

[4WayXena 0]

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And you BOOO HISSSSers... You just got no imagination and I'm not in the mood for bannination - so there!

Well, Kirsten, you know me. My imagination needs help and development. Let's talk this weekend, sounds like you might be able to help me out!

Why not? I've helped Stu

[TequilaGirl 0]

Whatever happened to the 4inRelation Ass Sticker video....I believe I was #11 or something like that???

[Icon134 0]

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"The only excuse for being late is if you're having sex."

I don't like this rule...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[4WayXena 0]

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Nah. Just added to the legend that was 4inRelation

That is the truth too. First time i ever jumped at Waller, i was warned to stay away from you guys. I later learned that was because you guys knew how to have fun as a team and my team was anti-fun. *cough* BLANTON*cough*

Who warned you to stay away from us? We weren't that terrible to be around. Unless you were a silly student who broke your wrists on AFF-2 because you forgot how to flare and PLF. I think she was 4inRelation Ass Sticker #6 or something like that??? Help me out Korshak. She was the one it took like a half hour to get the sticker on 'cause she got so plowed after her AFF-1 she couldn't stay still.

Or was it because we were so drunk we couldn't stop laughing and kept missing her butt?

[skyminxx 0]

You should come with a health warning woman!
I think i just peed my pants reading your story.

If we had had that rule on my team one of our teammates wouldnt have been on time for any of our practices!!

Hope all's well chica

Pj

You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self.-Richard Bach

[gmittar 0]

Well told, great story!

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[mrmedic 0]

I saw the note posted (actually framed) on the wall. I always knew there was a good story behind it.

CYA!....up there

[jlkskycam 0]

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Whatever happened to the 4inRelation Ass Sticker video....I believe I was #11 or something like that???

Oh, I still have it. It will be (re)released sometime in the not too distant future on DVD as part of the 4InRelation video which is presently still in production. The 15 mostly naked girl asses, all adorned with a cool 4inRelation sticker or TSL medal, and set to the soothing strains of Beethoven's 6th will be a chapter unto its own on the DVD with the present working title of "The Pastoral." Make sure you find me when the DVD is released - as a performance artist who contributed mightily to our year (and the DVD), you are eligible for a free DVD.

[jlkskycam 0]

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Nah. Just added to the legend that was 4inRelation

That is the truth too. First time i ever jumped at Waller, i was warned to stay away from you guys. I later learned that was because you guys knew how to have fun as a team and my team was anti-fun. *cough* BLANTON*cough*

Who warned you to stay away from us? We weren't that terrible to be around. Unless you were a silly student who broke your wrists on AFF-2 because you forgot how to flare and PLF. I think she was 4inRelation Ass Sticker #6 or something like that??? Help me out Korshak. She was the one it took like a half hour to get the sticker on 'cause she got so plowed after her AFF-1 she couldn't stay still.

Or was it because we were so drunk we couldn't stop laughing and kept missing her butt?

I think Little Miss Candy, she of the broken wrists and the ass which hadn't seen much sun, was #5 in the sticker sequence. The best part was darling Candy had a little candy-cane tattooed to her right cheek. Oh yeah - and during her stickering you can hear from off-camera someone who's clearly really hammered, drunkenly observing, "She ain't wear'n a thong!" I think her stickering took a little longer because she kept on wiggling it while Lambert was trying to apply the sticker without blocking the light.