Getting over a painful breakup -- what do you do?

[masterblaster72 0]

I recently broke up with someone I truly love, whose move to the other side of the planet is imminent because her job of five years is moving her there.

I've been strong with breakups in the past, but this one is especially painful because of my feelings for her. I'm not the same person I was a couple weeks ago when we were still together. Nothing really feels good anymore -- being around friends, visiting family, eating, etc. On top of that, I'm nursing a nasty injury that prevents me from exercising, so working out isn't an option. I'm also not sleeping well.

Being together until she leaves is no longer an option; we already tried that. And I'm not moving to the other end of the world -- we haven't known each other long enough for that kind of move together. The relationship is over and there's no hope of rekindling anything (already tried).

To add to the problem, I'm not exactly the kind of guy that can just get out and meet someone new to fill the void.

To be candid, life is feeling rather pointless right now. It's tough getting through each day.

Just curious to hear what you do to help yourselves through these kinds of situations, looking for new ideas. Going out with friends isn't much of an option since most of them are out of town and/or married. I might take some classes and/or join some groups, but I'm looking for ideas that can help in the immediate term.

Thanks for reading, thanks in advance for your input.

[NWFlyer 2]

Go help someone else. I have found that volunteering to help the less fortunate can sometimes (even if it's just temporarily) snap me out of whatever funk I'm in. It can, quite often, put my problems into very sharp, clear perspective, and help me to realize that I will come out on the other side of it.

At the very least I get the temporary feel-good buzz of helping someone else. It's especially great if it's something that involves some physical movement/labor, like Habitat for Humanity or planting trees or sorting donations at the local food bank's warehouse. Not sure what you can or can't do because of your injury, but there's plenty of opportunities to be had.

Edited to add if things are feeling really hopeless, don't be afraid to reach out for professional help. Don't wait till it's too late.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Lindercles 0]

The best thing you can do is take all your old pictures of her and set them up on a table in the corner of the room, surrounded by a few candles and some incense. Then, at least once a day, masturbate in front of it. You'll be feeling better in no time.

[chaoskitty 0]

Oh gosh.. been there... and it sucks. Really all you can do is keep doing what you do. She'll be on your mind constantly until one day .. she just wont be. The misery wont last forever.. thats really all I know to tell you.

[Thanatos340 1]

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Getting over a painful breakup -- what do you do?

Generaly I find it best to sleep with either her best friend or a very close relitive (Preferably younger sister). Afterwards I generally feel better and free to move on with my life.

[Katzeye 0]

I do the pity party thing. I get exactly 24 hours to drink, cry, mourn, and pity myself. I call in sick, rent sloppy movies, buy ice cream and other junk food and of course a fifth of Jack and proceed to have a party for one.

After the 24 hours, clean myself up, dry the tears, suck it up and get on with life.

Is a chicken omelette redundant?

[DavidST 0]

I'll give you the same advise i give my friends when they ask me what to do in this situation.

Go to a bar near you. Get as drunk. And i don't mean i feel a little tipsy drunk. I mean wake up two states away with a shaved head and no shoes drunk.
And lastly stick your dangle in any thing that will let you.

Might not be the best advise but it seems to work for my friends.

As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.

[Slappie 9]

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The best thing you can do is take all your old pictures of her and set them up on a table in the corner of the room, surrounded by a few candles and some incense. Then, at least once a day, masturbate in front of it. You'll be feeling better in no time.

OMG That was just what I was thinking! Must be a UT thing.

"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

[wes. 0]

i was in the same situtation 5 months ago when i had to move to the other side of europe leaving all my friends and my gf behind i would like to say id got over but 5 months later an it still hurts i just try not to think about it an get on with life

Falling from the top floor
your lungs fill like parachutes

[Zipp0 1]

Start playing SOCOM 3 or Combined Assault online. That shit is totally addictive and an escape from reality. When I started I found myself playing for 8 hours without a break. It's almost worse than drugs or alcohol. As a bonus, you have a headset and you can trash talk to total strangers all you want.

Barring that, how about a road trip to visit old friends? A couple times a year some old friends and I get together and go buck wild for a few days. It's an equally good escape from reality.

Don't do what I did when this happened to me in college - close the shades and sleep for an entire semester and then get mono. It was NOT fun.

Zippo

--------------------------
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[usedtajump 1]

Live one day at a time for two years then suddenly everything will be OK.

The older I get the less I care who I piss off.

[lawrocket 3]

The only way to get over it is with time.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Andy9o8 0]

This may seem obvious, but would going to a DZ and jumping your brains out work? I see you're near Crosskeys; they're open this season (maybe the Ranch, too? – dunno.) It works for me.
Or is she a jumper, too, and the DZ only reminds you of her?

[floridadiver81 0]

ok bor..i know how you feel. others here know that im in the navy..and i personally have gone through this numerous times with having to go on deployments. The best way i have discoved to get over something like this is surround yourself with positive things/people. If you choose to do things by yourself it will jsut take ALOT more time to get over the feelings you have for the girl. Luckily i had a good group of close knit friends that helped me. I read that most of your friends are married/out of town. then get out and make some new friends..preferably ones that have some of the same interest as you. Take up some new hobbies...anything to get your mind off of her. I know its not easy....as its not supposed to be. Time cures everything. I was enganged once at 19..didnt work due to the navy and transferring...i was planning on getting engaged upon my homecoming from my first deployment...it didnt make it that long. It hurt...life sucked...i wanted to lash out at everybody and take it out on the people that were trying to help me. It cures nothing. You jsut have to maintain a positive aura and get out and do different things...and like someone said...get out and jump your ass off!!

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

Quote

Getting over a painful breakup -- what do you do?

Generaly I find it best to sleep with either her best friend or a very close relitive (Preferably younger sister). Afterwards I generally feel better and free to move on with my life.

Step #1 Go to the Pink Pony -
Step #2 Hand Waitress 5 Bucks
Step #3 Repeat the process until you can't think.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[masterblaster72 0]

Thanks for the helpful advice all, much appreciated.

edited to add: I jumped the day after the breakup and it didn't feel good at all, but perhaps a few days of it will. Maybe I'll hit up one of the holiday boogies, seems like a good idea. Thanks again for the advice.

[Nightingale 0]

Best thing I ever did was stay busy. I scheduled myself for some kind of class/activity every single night. I had irish dance or karate every night, and I was just too damn tired to dwell on things. After a few months, it occurred to me that I hadn't even thought about the guy in weeks.

If you can't exercise, find something else. Go to the movies (avoid romantic comedies). Go to the theatre. Go to poetry readings. Volunteer to work on a special project. Find out of the community colleges are offering anything interesting... Just get off your tail and out of the house and stay busy.

[Broke 0]

You know I wish I had an answer for you, but even though the situation I am in is different it is similare. Just keep on keeping on, and as tacky as it sounds time heals all wounds.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[labrys 0]

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And I'm not moving to the other end of the world -- we haven't known each other long enough for that kind of move together.

So this is your choice?

Sorry, but if you are making the choice that moving isn't worth it WTF are you whining about?

Owned by Remi #?

[SmilingPhoenix 0]

Being newly-single I can share my plan for tomorrow night...

Find a pub close to home and buy a bear. then offer the people sitting next to you (and the bartender) to have a shot with you. Ask their names, move down the bar..

Get another beer and offer the new people sitting next to you (and the bartender) to have a shot with you Ask their names, move down the bar.

Repeat this process until people start buying you drinks - usually the third group catches on, but sometimes a little more or less.

By the end of the night, you won't remember anoyone's names, but you will have spent money on someone other than the ex. And if you are cute enough, you have probably had several people buy you drinks as well.

Go back to the same bar the next night. Order a beer. If you see anyone who looks familiar walk up and ask if you met them last night? The probability of some funny stories about the prior evening to be free flowing is pretty good.

This will get you drunk, get you to meet people who live close by, and assure you that you aren't the only one with a drinking problem.

And that is how you make new friends after a break up immediately - since you can do it every night if you have the right and generous bartenders.

Because life is an adventure - it may not be the one you planned, but then it wouldn't be an adventure!

[bob.dino 0]

Nice style.

Pretty brave to start with a bear though.