Skydiving and family

[Macaulay 0]

My mom's going to be watching me jump (in person) for the first time this Sunday (that shouldn't be beerable). She knows I'm very careful with everything I do, and has actually been very supportive of all my activities throughout my life. In fact, she's buying my jumps. :) However, deep down, I know my parents are scared to death of receiving that call. This, if not for any other reason, drives me to put safety first. I'm still going to jump. I'm still going to swoop. Yet, at least for the sake of my friends and family, I've made safety my first priority.
Has jumping affected your relationships with friends and family? If so, how? Have you or anyone you know quit jumping, or considered quitting because of this? I've known a few people who left the sport because at the request of their family, or their own conviction.
I think we all try to keep both, but if it came down to the wire, which would you choose? Personally, I'd have to go with skydiving. It's far too important to me. Those who know me well know that it is far more dangerous for me to NOT jump. Maybe that's why my family is making sure I stay in the air.
- Macaulay

[Emma 0]

My Mum is in denial about the whole thing. It took her a year before she even came up to the DZ, and considering I've been there every weekend for 12 months, I was kind of wondering when she was going to accept this was something I did actually intend to do on a regular basis.
She's okay about it now in a sort of 'Ooh, you crazy girl, do be careful!' way, but then she also knows some of things I used to do before I got into this which in her opinion are worse.....
From the other side, my boyfriend jumps and it sometimes scares me that he'll get hurt, even though I know it's a stoopid, irrational fear, since I jump too...I get a bit double standard-ish at times with him, but not as badly as he does with me....It's ok for HIM to do an excessively low hop'n'pop, but if I did....well, another story.
Anyway, if it came down to family or skydiving, it would be skydiving....I'm just glad I don't have to make that choice ..although since I never SEE my family unless they come to the DZ, maybe I've half decided anyway....
E

[spectre230 0]

[Macaulay 0]

No girl could ever stand up to skydiving. They can't stand up to land, either, for that matter.
- Macaulay

[rainman 0]

My mom has actually always been enthusiastic about me skydiving, she recently did a tandem that she can't stop talking about ( I can't stand it that my mom jumped from 14700 while I've never jumped from higher than 13500!!). Since her tandem she keeps asking me 'when you go skydiving, can I come along?', and I am amazed and excited about that.
My girlfriend however isn't very thrilled about the whole thing, she'd much rather I stopped skydiving altogether, and before I go skydiving I have to promise her about hundred times that I will do it safely (Hey, I don't have a deathwish!). She finally agreed to come along when my mom did her tandem, she was nearly bored to tears, and looking at the skygods stunting under their sleeping-bag-sized canopies scared her half to death. I did talk her into doing a tandem, but I am 95% convinced that when I get her to come to a DZ again and she does jump, she'll just say: 'OK, this was nice, now I know what it is you like to do, and I will never need to do it again'.
As negative as the above may sound, I really really love my girlfriend, whuffo and all, and I really hope it will never come so far that I have to choose for her or for skydiving, I honestly don't know what I'd do. We've been together for a very long time, and although I did some S/L jumps before I met her, I didn't really get into skydiving until this year.

[Macaulay 0]

Well, there's only one way to handle a girl like that... CUTAWAY, CUTAWAY! You do have a reserve, right?
- Macaulay

[rainman 0]

LOL, I don't think there's a suitable rig/container for two g/f's!
Since I'm nowhere near decision altitude yet, I'll try to correct the problem some more before going for cushions or handles!

rainman

[FreeflyPlaymate 0]

As far as family and jumping goes, I'm very fortunate to have my lil bro as a fellow jumper, which is such a blessing, how cool is it to have a family member be a part of the skydiving family, makes us so much closer as bro and sis.My little sisters 15, and 11 both come and watch me jump because they love it...which is another total awesome bonus. However the mothership has seen me jump once, not when I made my first jump, or any of the 190 that have followed, or when my bro started to jump, but when her beloved step-daughter jumped. She has seen me in the air though, so I do have to thank my step sis for that one. Very rarely does a nonjumper come to the dz to watch, or to just talk and hang out, although there's always an open invite for everyone I know to go, and the very few times when they do show up, it makes it totally worth it...very cool...
**BLUE ONES**
BITE ME.... :P

[Zennie 0]

My wife tolerates it, though we still get into the occasional argument about it. She seems to think that once we have kids my skydiving activities will cease (or be cut back dramatically) and I don't think they have to.
Our arguments really aren't about safety anymore. When she realized that I kept coming home after a day at the DZ she stopped worrying. Now it's more about the time I spend at the DZ. I don't think one day out of the week is excessive. She does. That's where we generally have our spats.
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[chicagoskydiver 0]

I almost had to quit because of my whuffo wife (or should I say wiffo?). I even had my gear advertised for sale on the Skydive Chicago bulletin board. This came after I broke my ankle on my 15th jump out at Skydive Chicago. What made it really bad is she didn't know I was out there at the time because I used to sneak out of the house to go jump. I just got tired of her giving me hell every time I went out to the DZ. Well, we came to an understanding about this, and we agreed to disagree. She still hates my jumping because of the cost and her whuffo mentality, but she tolerates it now because she knows it's what makes me happy. Part of the deal is I tell her when I'm going out there and she doesn't give me a hard time about it. I know I'm not alone in this, there are many skydivers out there who can relate. I still can't believe how close I came to quitting the sport, I seriously thought I was finished. But I can't quit now, it's in my blood and a part of who I am.
Hackey

[Pammi 0]

Quote

No girl could ever stand up to skydiving. They can't stand up to land, either, for that matter.

Hey! I resemble that remark! Haha!
My parents STILL haven't seen me jump! Part of it is the distance, granted, but c'mon. At least they act like they care when I talk about it now! :) Mom worries about it a lot, Dad thinks it's cool and wishes he could do it, but also says I'm giving him heart problems (rofl). My two brothers think I'm a freak, but they've always thought I was a little off. I almost got one to jump (Mom was even going to pay for it..a tandem!) but he ended up making excuses why he couldn't come down and do it.
Oh well! As long as they accept that I'm doing it, it's all good :) I haven't pushed the 'come watch me' too much before now cuz I'm just now standing them up regularly. I certainly don't need an audience watching my face plants or butt slides. hehe
I would love to do CReW again with them watching this time. I thought that might be more fun for them since they can't really see what goes on in freefall unless you video it...they can see a canopy stack or down-plane from the ground.
As for friends...well...it's kinda hard to keep them when you're gone every weekend to jump. Tehrefore, most of my friends are skydivers.
Oh, and yes, it sometimes scares me watching Merrick jump, or hearing how he nearly swooped into someone. It REALLY scares me that my kids now want to jump too, as soon as possible. I'd love to say "no", but that's completely unreasonable since I do it...oh wait...I'm the mom...I can be unreasonable if I want to! LOL!
Pammi
Our webpage

[Daygs 0]

You know, now that I think of it, I am losing friends every weekend. I actually took this last weekend off from skydiving (eyes closed ready to be smacked...), and when I got home from my cottage, I had no missed calls and no voice-mails. This coming from someone who's phone used to never stop ringing.
It is a hard decision to make. However, the feeling that I get when I'm at my dz is irreplaceable. There are no worries there, nor does anyone want to talk your ear off about bills, relationships, work... bla-bla-bla. Not to mention, it's the only time outside of my dreams I GET TO FLY!!!
LET'S GET HIGH (alt. that is)

[Rhonda66 0]

I love skydiving, but my family will always come first because we are very close.
I'm fortunate that my parents accept my jumping though I've been doing it for four years and they've only seen me do it in videos. My fiance is a jumper as well, my two sisters have made tandem jumps as has one of my cousin's and one of my fiance's sisters plus some friends that we've managed to convince. I come from a family of "risk takers" so I don't think it surprised my family at all when I took up skydiving. They do worry about us, but they have never told me not to do it - They know that it's given me a confidence like I never had before in my life....
I have thought about what I would do if we have children someday and I honestly think I would have to quit jumping then, at least for awhile, because I wouldn't want to put myself in any more danger than would be completely necessary with a baby at home - it's hard to say what I would really do until the time came and I know plenty of people with kids who do jump, but I think that would be the end of it for me....
Blues,
Rhonda

[zelda 0]

My mother was SOOO PISSED when I first jumped; she asked if this was something I intended to keep doing, of course I said yes, and she didn't speak to me for a while. She didn't want to talk about it or hear about it. The rest of my family thought I was out of my skull, but they were never nasty about it. Anyway, when mom realized that there was nothing she could do to keep me away from the DZ, she gradually started to come around...asked lots of questions, called me if she saw something about skydiving on TV, etc. When I had a particularly terrifying Level 5 (harness was WAY too big; very scary) and was so shook up I was contemplating quitting, guess who told me that I had to get my ass back in the plane so as not to allow fear to run my life? Mom!!
Anyway, once she confessed that when she joined the Navy back in the 60s, she did so with the intention of becoming a parachute rigger (I'm 30 and never knew that before!), it was pretty ridiculous for her to continue giving me crap about it. She still gets her digs in occasionally, but overall, she's pretty supportive. My dad just says, "Be safe."
I've been laid off since November, but as soon as I have the cash, I'll be back...my whuffo friends know that they'll hardly see me at that point, but they're actually pretty cool about it.
hooo boy--this got long, didn't it?
blues,
zelda

[mouth 0]

I have kids and often they accompany me to the DZ. My youngest often comes out the the landing area to watch me land. They both are excited about getting into the wind tunnel this weekend so they can fly. Granted it isn't the same as jumping, but that is close enough for a 12 and 7 yr old.
I will admit that when Michele was killed it really made me think about what would happen to them if I was killed or seriously hurt out there, because her girls were always DZ brats too. I am thiankful they wer with their Dad that weekend. After much thought I really feel that everyone at our DZ would take good care of my girls if I was hurt. As it is they get spoiled by all the guys buying them stuff or playing with them. I know it wouldn't be the same as having me there but it is good to realize you have great people there to help you when you need them.

[chaz1234 0]

Macaulay, interesting post here. I've definately had my relationships affected by my skydiving. Something I'm still kinda sorting through. Mom & Dad suprisingly have been completely cool with it. When I told them I was doing it my Mom said she'd always wanted to try it, and is looking to do a tandem when they come out to Cali! Who knew? Dad on the other hand, was slightly upset about it, but changed his tune once he saw how much fun I was having, by watching my AFF videos. He'll never try it like Mom, but he doesn't give any grief. So on the parent front, I'm in a good spot. Especially since at the DZ I hear horror stories of parents who want to "guilt-trip" their kids into giving up skydiving. My parents only comment was, "do what you love, because it's your life." Coolio! Now, whuffo friends on the other hand...WHOLE different story. I've gotten the full spectrum, which I'm sure you all are familiar with: Indifference to skydiving, "You're completely crazy" comments, "How could you do this to those who care about you" statements, etc. I've found that when I do spend time with these whuffo friends, it's not like it used to be, because I'm not like I used to be. They don't want to here any of my skydiving stories, and that's all I can think about! Now that I'm on a four-way team, I'm sure the obsession is only going to get worse...and I'm 100% cool with that. When the weekend comes, I'm usually at the DZ, so when I do spend time with these friends, it's almost like a high-school reunion, where you gotta "catch up" on what's been going on in each others' life! So where does that leave these whuffo friends? Well, still working through that. Fortunately everyone at the DZ is so cool, and fully supportive of our shared skydiving addiction, new friendships can easily be forged.
Now on the dating front...FULLY, COMPLETELY another story! Dating a whuffo chick, IMHO, is ASKING for trouble! On the flip-side, there aren't that many skydiving women of color in the sport (Hell, there aren't enough women, period!), so a black skydiver like myself could be waiting a LONG time if he limited his options to only skydiving chicks! This is why I'm impatiently waiting for Halle Barry to get interested in skydiving!
Anyway, Macaulay, to answer your original question, if anyone (friends, family, girlfriends) put pressure on me to chose them or skydiving, they'd quickly have to go. (How fast can you say, CUTAWAY?!)
Blue Skies

[Merrick 0]

Quote

"From the other side, my boyfriend jumps and it sometimes scares me that he'll get hurt, even though I know it's a stoopid, irrational fear, since I jump too..."

Stoopid? Irrational fear?? Don't be so sure about that! lol I'm not saying something bad's going to happen.... however, Pam & I went through our student progression together & have been jumping together ever since. On my first clear-n-pull, after I'm under canopy patting myself on the back for saving my own life, I see my wonderful wife falling, falling, falling (her first c&p as well), then this ball of yellow kind of envelopes her, still falling mind you, meanwhile the DZO is yelling PULL, PULL, PULL, PAM over the radio! Turns out when she pulled her ROL pilot chute, she pulled it forward, the bridal got wrapped around her arm, she rolled & became entangled in it. Well, in the process the pin dislodged & the canopy began to inflate, it ended up flipping her thru her riser (like a walk-thru), & deployed without further incident (however it did take it's sweet time inflating)... she now has a real nice scar on her arm to show for it! At 5 jumps, that was pretty damn scary... you think that's it, naah.... I got another. about 7 jumps later, I'm sitting in a recliner facing the landing area (& a tree-line that's about 300 yards straight south of the hangers) waiting for pam to jump. I'm BS'n with the guy next to me & he points out South over the tree-line & I see this dot falling, then - like spectre230's funny car, or FFF polar bear, coming off the line - I see the golf cart flying across the landing area, again...PULL, PULL, PULL, PAM!!! she finally pulls & is in the saddle by ohh about 1,100 feet (pulled at 1,500). Scared the piss out of me, I damn near said that's it, we're done... but, she loves it & so do I & she was determined to be a sky goddess, which now she's well on her way! As for family, it's pretty much like Pam's family... My mom thinks we're stupid. She lives in the same town our DZ is in, so we usually drop the kids off with her before we go to the DZ, when we come to pick them up she's usually nice enough to ask, [annoying, condescending, sarcastic mom voice] "well, did you get to jump?" [/annoying, condescending, sarcastic mom voice]. lol - Oh well, at least she then acts interested & pays attention. My brother would love to try it, but can't afford to do it more than once (& knows he'd like to take the whole course & really get into it). My dad, well.... He absolutely loves it, "If words were wisdom, I'd be talkin' even more.."

[Rhonda66 0]

I know exactly what you mean Emma. Everytime my fiance and I jump together I look down after I'm open to find him just to make sure that he's open too - For some reason I worry more about him than I do about myself, but maybe that's common - I don't know.
I've had dreams where I watched him burn in while I'm on the ground watching and it was awful and seemed so real, but maybe that is because I watched him cutaway from a baglock while I was a student...
Rhonda

[mouth 0]

Do you find yourself sitting on the ground (or in the air too for that matter) looking at canopies just to make sure you friends are still there and OK? I do...maybe because I haven't jumped with a spouse, but I look for the poeple on my jump or that left before or after me and wonder how things went. A few weekends ago we had a long spot (some of which was our fault because we took so long to get set) but the group behind us went too, and one of the guys had a mal. I spent more time watching him than I did my landing area because I knew I would at least make the airport and I realized he would not. I am thankful he was ok.
Anyway...long winded question there but maybe you all get my point.

[Rhonda66 0]

Yeah, of course I watch out for everyone else as well as best I can, but I specifically search for his canopy as soon as I'm open...I used to watch for everyone's else's canopy to open more though when I was just starting out. If there was some specific situation that I could help out with once I'm under canopy such as watching where people land after a bad spot or following a cut away canopy, then I would definitely do that, but what am I really going to be able to do if someone has a total or something? It's bad enough to worry about my fiance, but if I worry about everyone else as well then I'm going to wind up quitting the sport. I try to think that they know what they are doing and most likely they are going to be fine. I think we all watch out for each other, but watching from the ground or under canopy when someone has a total certainly isn't going to help that person no matter how much you worry for them...
Rhonda

[skymama 35]

After I had my cutaway last year, I did quit for 7 months because I am a mom and I was concerned about leaving my kids without a mom. But, during that time off, I was so depressed from not jumping, I decided that a happy mom was better than a depressed mom, so I came back.
I'm not that concerned about the death thing anymore. I'm very safety conscious, a conservative jumper, and I just have to have the faith that nothing serious is going to happen to me again.
As for my family...my mom, mother-in-law,brother-in-law and husband have all done tandems, and my son has gone with me to the tunnel. Even though they all loved their tandems they aren't that pleased that I am still obsessively jumping. My kids are a little worried, since I've had an accident already. When I leave the house, they say, "don't die today, Mama!" Oh, the therapy they're going to have to have! My husband is getting a little unhappy with the amount of time I am spending at the dz, and because most of my new friends are men.
Andrea
"Up high, I feel like I'm alive for the very first time"

[DZBone 0]

Quote

when she joined the Navy back in the 60s, she did so with the intention of becoming a parachute rigger

Why doesn't she do it now? How cool would it be to have your MOM I&R your reserve!
Carl

[zelda 0]

Quote

Why doesn't she do it now? How cool would it be to have your MOM I&R your reserve!

Haw Ha! I have a "Far Side" cartoon here in my office (given to me by my assistant--wishful thinking?)--you've probably all see it; it's the one where the guy has dumped and has a grand piano for a main and an anchor as a reserve...I suspect that's what it might be like to have my mother as my rigger--if she was pissed at me...and she's frequently pissed at me!
-zelda

[sinister69 0]

When I started my AFF, I called my dad to come out and watch. As soon as he showed up at the DZ, he asked me to shake my head. I asked why and he replied "just wanted to see how many marbles are loose." My dad was in the Air Force for 26 years, with over 10,000 hours of flying time. He only ever had a major emergency once over Korea (during the war) we he almost had to bail out. When I first started he kept saying it's crazy to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. Don't get me wrong, he completely supports me in this, he's just poking fun. He came out last week to the DZ, met Michele, Alby, DiverDave. I have gotten him to admit that "If I were twenty years younger, I might try a tandem" Well, I am going to keep pushing him (not too hard though) to do one. He had bypass surgery back in '92. Says he won't do it because of his heart. His heart is doing great now though, the doctors were amazed after the surgery how fast he recovered, and say now he is in excellent condition. Anyway, my Mom supports me too. Thought she would freak out when I started AFF, so I didn't call and tell her. She freaked when I bought my motorcycle. Get home that day and there is a message on my machine from her checking to see if I was okay after my jump. My sister called and told her. So I called my mother up and she asked me why I didn't tell her. She said I shoulda called and she woulda jumped with me. So I tell her I am going back in a couple of weeks, wanta go? She says she doesn't have the money. I am gonna save up and get her a tandem jump, first I want to get my A license though, only three more to go. My sister (flight attendant) and her husband think I am crazy, but say whatever floats your boat. Maybe we should change that to whatever fills your chute.
But it is really nice to have my Father go out and watch. I idolize this man. He is the one person in my life that I want to be proud of me. Without my Dad, I don't know what I would do.
Blue Skies!
Sinister69
http://home.pacbell.net/n1elson1

[GeekStreak 0]

I've been completely nuts over skydiving since April, when I made my first jump.
My wife was, at first, afraid I was actually going crazy because all I want to talk about is jumping. She was right . She states that she is interested, and is actually going to come and watch me make my next jump this Saturday. The amount of time it takes me to do one jump = one whole day, so far. I'm predicting that the time away from home will become a problem until I can get her up there too.
My mom wants to see me do it just to see it happen. She too thinks I'm crazy, but not because I'm jump crazy. She thinks jumping out of airplanes is crazy. She doesn't give me a hard time about it though. She never has nagged me about any of the stupid things I've done in the past. Why start now?
My oldest son made his first jump the same day I did. It was his 18th birthday present. He loved it! He even made a stand-up landing one giant step from the peas. Way cool! Since the sunset load went up right after us, there was a crowd gathered by the peas. They cheered, clapped and congratulated him. It was the perfect ending to a very long day of wind-delays. His canopy knocked a beer over, so I let him drink it My youngest son wants to jump too, but I won't let him until he's 18. He won't go to the DZ unless he can jump. He wants a jump for his 18th birthday too! 20 months and counting...
Their mother (my X) thinks we're all crazy and said to me "I know he's 18 and can make his own decissions, but if he dies I BLAME YOU!"... Not exactly supportive.
My step-son, 9, doesn't understand why 16 year old kids can jump with permission, but he can't. Jump-buddy in the making here?? He's already my roller coaster buddy. We're going to Six Flags on Sunday!
Oh yes, Dad. He's the one who got me started on motorcycles and encouranged me to race... used to give me "great advice" like "just turn the throttle all the way up and adjust the gears!" and "Here, hold this ignition wire while I crank the engine." He's a risk taker, former pilot, and a major jokester. People either love him or hate him. If I had actually spoken to him lately he probably would have said something like "Why the hell did you wait so long!! I'm damn near 70!!". He and I have talked about it before, cuz I've always wanted to jump just for the experience. I had no idea it was addictive .
Sister, well she's like "Don't tell me. I don't want to know. You are crazy!". That's pretty much her philosophy of life. Who am I to change her??
Note to self: Call Dad.
1111,
GeekStreak