No Postage Necessary if Mailed in the United States

[Zenister 0]

is one of my favorite phrases.

It amuses me greatly in the roughly two hours of my week I waste (sorting, opening (because the asshats even include fake CCs that will burn out the shredder faster) and) shredding the personal bits of junk mail spam to take the preaddressed mailers they provide, seal them and drop them in the mail box on my next visit.

Since there is no real means to 'opt out' of this crap, and no means to charge them for my time they waste so I can avoid the identity theft they are setting me up for with this shit, I get what joy I can from knowing they have to pay some unfortunate soul to open the empty mailer I'm returning to them, as well as getting charged by the government for the additional 'spam' they will never profit from.

the smart ones have caught on to me and include my return address on the mailer...this annoys me as it takes away from my joy, and goes into the shredder with the rest of the crap...

how many fucking trees have these assholes killed with this shit anyway??? wish we could deduct the oxygen debt from their lungs directly....

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[PhreeZone 15]

Start attaching items to them. I've seen bricks, used shoes and other junk items be sent back with those envelopes taped to the outside of them.

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[Jumpervint 0]

You can send up to 16 ounces in that envelope. Take some of the shreddings you've created, stuff it into the envelope and send them a nice return surprise.

Vint

. . . . .
"Make it hard again." Doc Ed

“A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free” Nikos Kazantzakis

[jverley 0]

I do the same, but if you add some mayonnaise, tuna, and other food garbage to the inside of the envelope, they smell better. I usually include some note that says "you sent me your trash, I am sending mine."

The post office should be charging these ass-wipes premium for mailing rather than giving them a discount.

John
Arizona Hiking Trails

[diablopilot 2]

Quote

the smart ones have caught on to me and include my return address on the mailer...this annoys me as it takes away from my joy, and goes into the shredder with the rest of the crap...

This is one reason I own Sharpie Markers.

----------------------------------------------
You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[Hausse 0]

This is pretty funny quote from bash.org

1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

[RALFFERS 0]

Quote

This is pretty funny quote from bash.org

1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while.

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[Hausse 0]

Yeah I remembered reading it about a year ago or so. I nearly died of laughing in front of my laptop so I thought I had to share it

[lawrocket 3]

Did you know that you can mail insects? Imagine a package sent with a few honeybees or crickets? Just about any nonpoisonous, non-disease causing insect "may be sent through the mail when properly prepared for mailing and when shipped under regulations of the U.S. Department of Agriculture."

So, gather some cockroaches, put them in a box, attach the letter, and move on with it.

Or some earthworms.

Ants are great, too. You really have a hard time with them running all over. Just label them as "ants" and see what happens.

Or moths, too.


Edited to add: I've just dicovered you can also send legal plants and shrubs.

You can even send used batteries. Those must be specially disposed of. Report them to the EPA because you just sent them batteries and want to make sure they are not thrown away.

Oh, here's another one;

"Adult chickens, turkeys, guinea fowl, doves, pigeons, pheasants, partridges, and quail as well as ducks, geese, and swans are mailable as follows:

a. The mailer must send adult fowl by Express Mail in secure containers approved by the manager of Mailing Standards (see 601.8.0 for address).

b. The number of birds per parcel must follow the container manufacturer limits and each bird must weigh more than 6 ounces.

c. Indemnity may be paid only for loss, damage, or rifling, and not for death of the birds in transit if there is no visible damage to the mailing container."


This is fun! Ha! Mail them a duck! It's legal.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[-Scatter- 0]

When my color laser printer was new and amusing, we'd routinely goatse the credit card companies. Full page. In color.

/I'm a bad person

[Iceburner 0]

we had a sponsor back out of one of our events and f@ck us outta jersey's for out nationa paintball team, so we attached to one of their buisness reply envolope a cinderblock....cost them about 45 bucks to mail
we promptly dropped them from our sponsorship too