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shropshire

'kin funny .....

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Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him.

Mick says 'how you doin?'

Paddy says 'do us a favour, nip upstairs and get my slippers, my feet are freezing.'

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's two gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters
Sitting on the bed.

He says 'your dads sent me up here to shag the both of you ' .

They say 'get away with ya.. Prove it.'

Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'

Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em, what's the point of f#ckin one?'

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

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A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat down and ordered a glass of champagne.

A woman sitting nearby perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.

'What a coincidence!' said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses he added, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, 'What a coincidence!'
Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

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Okay, first a disclaimer- I have never posted, nor am I likely to post- a joke like this.
But a good friend of mine texted this to me just yesterday, and I couldn't help but laugh at it...

A man goes to check into this motel,
and he asks the clerk,
"Is the porn on the tv disabled?
And the clerk replies,
"No it's regular porn you sick bastard!"

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A guy is walking along the beach.

He comes upon a naked woman laying on a blanket. He stops, looks & keeps on walking.

After few minutes, his curiosity getting the better of him, he comes back and asks her what she is doing.

She says that she is on strike, so he walks on.

Some time later he returns with his own blanket, takes off all of his clothes and lays down beside her.

Finally, she looks over and asks him what he is doing.

He says 'I'm on strike also, and as soon as I get a raise I'm putting your ass back to work.'

JerryBaumchen

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