Girlfalldown 0 #1 April 13, 2006 You all might wonder why you don't receive your secret little Easter baskets anymore. I bet you think it's because you've grown up. Well, I know the truth. The year was around 1976. I was just a little kid. We were driving home from a trip to the Colorado River where we went once or twice a year on holiday. My mother was driving. She liked to drive very fast and usually pushed 100 most the way. It was probably around midnight the night before Easter. You know, the night when the Easter Bunny is running from house to house hiding those Easter baskets? Anyway, my older brother and I were asleep in the back seats. Suddenly we were awaken by a terrible thump and my mom's little Honda Civic bounced over something. It was loud. It was big. That was when my mom yells out to us in the back seat: " OH MY GOD KIDS! I JUST RAN OVER THE EASTER BUNNY!" I killed the Easter Bunny!". We had run over a big jackrabbit. I can't even begin to explain the guilt I felt for all of the undelivered baskets and the other little children going without their chocolatey treats. We got home very late that night and went right to bed. The next morning my mom had my brother and I wash the car. This included hosing off underneath where we found bits of Easter Bunny hair, blood, skin and some other unidentifiable things. I never got another Easter Basket. So I'm sorry to say, it was my mother's fault that there is no Easter Bunny anymore. She killed him and she didn't even stop. I guess that's a hit and run too! I'm so ashamed of this. I don't think I will ever forgive her. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #2 April 13, 2006 That explains it... You were traumatized as a kid. I'd be fucked up too! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #3 April 13, 2006 Oh that was just one small thing. If you only knew! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 26 #4 April 13, 2006 QuoteSo I'm sorry to say, it was my mother's fault Sure ... Pass the blame... Its very inconsiderate to sleep in a car while other are driving. You were the copilot. You slept on the job. I blame you.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #5 April 13, 2006 QuoteOh that was just one small thing. If you only knew! id rather not know. cuz then I'd be just a fucked up as you. and NOBODY wants that! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raftman 12 #6 April 13, 2006 I heard they called Easter off........... They found the body. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #7 April 13, 2006 Oh,thats okay.Now the Easter Bimbo brings the baskets"No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #8 April 13, 2006 WTF........ are you trying to dance in your avatar???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
briguy 0 #9 April 13, 2006 easter is for silly christians. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #10 April 14, 2006 I was always concerned about why the EB was a religious figure anyway. Bunnies are mammals, they can't lay eggs. The EB must acquire them by theft. Why is that a good religious figure? Pic of the good EB attached. NSFW of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #11 April 14, 2006 QuoteI was always concerned about why the EB was a religious figure anyway. Read Lamb by Christopher Moore. It explains everything. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #12 April 14, 2006 QuoteQuoteI was always concerned about why the EB was a religious figure anyway. Read Lamb by Christopher Moore. It explains everything. I endured all the religious stuff over the years. I only refer to it for amusement purposes. Easter/Eostre, Maypole dance/fertility rites, eggs/fertility, Spring/planting season start. Those Druids must have knocked the bottom out of it around planting time. I think that religion has taken a turn for the worst when we no longer consider a good serious boinking as part of our religious festivals. Want to know how the EB gets all those eggs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #13 April 14, 2006 QuoteI only refer to it for amusement purposes. You and me both, sweetie. It's one of the more brilliant satires I've ever read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wildcard451 0 #14 April 14, 2006 QuoteThose Druids must have knocked the bottom out of it around planting time. Best quote of the night QuoteWant to know how the EB gets all those eggs? I never fucked a chicken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #15 April 14, 2006 QuoteI never fucked a chicken New best quote of the night. That is one of those things that "appear". Ever been in a bar, telling a joke, and just as you are about to scream out the punchline - the music stops. "blah...blah... AND I SHOT THE HOOKER..." This would be an attention-getter, no doubt. "I NEVER FUCKED A CHICKEN... errrr... ummm..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Broke 0 #16 April 14, 2006 Quote I never fucked a chicken Hopefully looking at your other thread you are not considering itDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites blueskyserenity 0 #17 April 14, 2006 QuoteWTF........ are you trying to dance in your avatar???? He's doing the bunny danceI like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TFFTM 1 #18 April 14, 2006 "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Cargo." "Cargo who?" "Cargo beep-beep and run over all the Easter bunnies." BSBD Home of the Alabama Gang Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #19 May 29, 2009 Quote That explains it... You were traumatized as a kid. I'd be fucked up too! Are you sure you phrased that correctly?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
NWFlyer 2 #11 April 14, 2006 QuoteI was always concerned about why the EB was a religious figure anyway. Read Lamb by Christopher Moore. It explains everything. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 April 14, 2006 QuoteQuoteI was always concerned about why the EB was a religious figure anyway. Read Lamb by Christopher Moore. It explains everything. I endured all the religious stuff over the years. I only refer to it for amusement purposes. Easter/Eostre, Maypole dance/fertility rites, eggs/fertility, Spring/planting season start. Those Druids must have knocked the bottom out of it around planting time. I think that religion has taken a turn for the worst when we no longer consider a good serious boinking as part of our religious festivals. Want to know how the EB gets all those eggs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #13 April 14, 2006 QuoteI only refer to it for amusement purposes. You and me both, sweetie. It's one of the more brilliant satires I've ever read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #14 April 14, 2006 QuoteThose Druids must have knocked the bottom out of it around planting time. Best quote of the night QuoteWant to know how the EB gets all those eggs? I never fucked a chicken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 April 14, 2006 QuoteI never fucked a chicken New best quote of the night. That is one of those things that "appear". Ever been in a bar, telling a joke, and just as you are about to scream out the punchline - the music stops. "blah...blah... AND I SHOT THE HOOKER..." This would be an attention-getter, no doubt. "I NEVER FUCKED A CHICKEN... errrr... ummm..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #16 April 14, 2006 Quote I never fucked a chicken Hopefully looking at your other thread you are not considering itDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyserenity 0 #17 April 14, 2006 QuoteWTF........ are you trying to dance in your avatar???? He's doing the bunny danceI like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TFFTM 1 #18 April 14, 2006 "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Cargo." "Cargo who?" "Cargo beep-beep and run over all the Easter bunnies." BSBD Home of the Alabama Gang Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #19 May 29, 2009 Quote That explains it... You were traumatized as a kid. I'd be fucked up too! Are you sure you phrased that correctly?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
