What would you think about getting an invitation like this?

[quade 3]

Quote

I think I would have taken it better if there was a tip jar, like at the party that John went to, instead of inviting me to a party and then asking me to pay for it. It's just weird. If this is a new trend, I don't like it.

It's the "party at a home" aspect that bugs me.

There are various levels of performance and performance venues;

Open Mic - Artist might have to contact venue "producer" ahead of time or just show up and sign up. Nobody gets paid for these, sometimes the performers kick a few dollars to the "producer" for his trouble or buy him a drink. It's normally understood artists will support the venue by at least buying a drink or two for themselves. Venue may not care if any extra people come through the door or not.

Booked Open Mic - Somewhat more formalized where "producer" books acts before the event and is expected to actually have somewhat of an influence on the attendance. The venue is trading their reputation and "hipness factor" for stage time so they expect that even Open Mic performers are good enough that people will stay and buy drinks.

The "Bringer Show" - Venue now wants a guarantee of a minimum attendance to cover their "nut" for the night. If a certain head count isn't met, the performers pay the difference.

An actual paying gig - venue is actually paying for the performer with the expectation that the performer will bring in a crowd due to name recognition.

You'd be surprised how few places there are that have to pay for a performer now. Unless you're a named piece of talent, even in LA and NY (or perhaps especially in LA or NY), you might not be getting paid a dime to perform and in fact may actually be paying for stage time. I know performers that pay out of pocket upwards of $500 every couple of months just for the opportunity to maybe be in a show if their material is good enough on a particular week and they have to pitch new material every week (although this is for sketch comedy and not music).

This "party" seems like somebody's attempt to circumvent the "system". Good for them if it works, but holy cow that's a big "donation" as covers go.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[micduran 0]

I agree with the majority. Just say you have other plans. No need to burden yourself with keeping a lie.

Be patient with the faults of others; they have to be patient with yours.

[tigra 0]

Quote

Quote

I think I would have taken it better if there was a tip jar, like at the party that John went to, instead of inviting me to a party and then asking me to pay for it. It's just weird. If this is a new trend, I don't like it.

Wasn't there a wedding where the couple asked for donations in lieu of presents to help them pay for the ceremony some time ago? I thought that was tacky and stupid.

I've been to at least one wedding where a request for cash in lieu of gifts (to cover their honeymoon) was pretty clearly made on the invitation. I thought it was incredibly tacky.

Worse- a former manager of mine once invited her entire staff to a "trunk party" for her daughter who was going away to college. The "invitation" included a typed 3 page list of suggested "gifts" and listed items like a laptop, mini fridge, TV, Stereo and CASH. I thought that took some serious balls! And hell no, I did not go or buy any type of gift!

This party? To me it isn't all that much different from a candle party, tupperware, pampered chef, "surprise" party, etc. You're invited to go to a friend's house to buy something you don't need so that friend can get a lot of free stuff she doesn't need either. At least with this party, the friends are being 100% upfront, and they aren't asking for themselves. Plus, unlike those other "parties", Andrea probably won't be pressured into hosting a party of her own at some later date.

The invitation is odd and her friends put her in an awkward situation. But, they're trying to help another friend they obviously really believe in. That would make it a little harder for me to say no, even if I really didn't like the "artist" or her music.

[BillyVance 34]

Quote

Quote

Yes. Like your post was not MY cup of tea, and didn't keep me very well entertained.


Not to be mean, I just keep hoping you'll use the phrase "cock-up" again.

Sorry.. Was trying to be funny, but I guess I just cocked it up..

Seriously, though, you should be able to politely decline.. The whole invite sounds like the type of email that just goes straight to my junk folder.. "Please send money to this refugee who has escapes persecution in Ngudu.. Just $20 dollars per day is enough to keep Nwabbee clothed and nourished.."

Or like the girl who posted the eBay ad trying to get people to send her money for a new rig...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wildblue 4]

Quote

This "party" seems like somebody's attempt to circumvent the "system". Good for them if it works, but holy cow that's a big "donation" as covers go.

I went to a "house concert" maybe a year ago that Francis Dunnery was doing. Maybe 15 or 20 people in a basement. It was a new idea to me (of course I had never heard of him at the time either) ... it was actually kind of neat. Kind of an intimate show. Cuts out the middle man, so the artist probably made some decent cash - I guess he actually goes on house concert tours - and the die-hard fans like the one-on-one show. Win win. This was an organized show though with a 'mandatory donation' (I think the hosts paid a set fee for the gig) ... although I don't know what it was... $20-30 I think.

Skymama - just politely decline. If she's any good she'll have too many people there anyway. And if she sucks, no reason to falsely encourage her

it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

Quote

Not to be mean, I just keep hoping you'll use the phrase "cock-up" again.

Sorry. I'm saucy today. I just had "lunch" w/ Divot.
Carry on....

Is "cock-up" equal to saying "man-up"??

Always be kinder than you feel.

[popsjumper 2]

Hey! It beats standing on a corner with your guitar case open in front of you.

I'd pass on the house call, though.

If you decide to go, donate something more substantial...like a turkey sammich.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[quade 3]

Quote

Hey! It beats standing on a corner with your guitar case open in front of you.

Ironically, a good street performer can rake in some very nice cash if he's in the right location, can stand the weather and can fend off the competition for attention.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[RhondaLea 3]

I saw something on YouTube a few days ago about a "house concert" tour--"50 States in 50 Days,"so I followed the link and ended up here:

http://www.kevinmontgomery.com/2009/04/02/the-roadmap-for-the-2009-50-states-in-50-days-tour/

It looks to be a trend, as evidenced by this:

http://www.concertsinyourhome.com/

Sounds like it would be a great opportunity if the artist is someone whose music is to your taste, but I wouldn't pay to listen to music I don't like.

According to Miss Manners, the proper excuse is along the lines of, "I would love to come, but I'm afraid I'm busy that day." No need to provide (make up) an explanation for what you'll be doing instead.

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[DSE 3]

Quote

Quote

Dearest friends and music lovers,

I am thrilled to let you know that on Saturday, we will be hosting our first ever house concert! We would really love for you to be a part of this fun, intimate, and truly special evening. It is destined to warm our souls, and touch our hearts. Attached is an e-flyer with all of the details.

Our idea to host a house concert came about because my oldest and dearest friend, (name deleted), is an established New York City based singer-songwriter. Recently, she decided to take a year-long creative sabbatical from the chaos of the city and the hustle of the music business, to focus on writing and developing her craft. Lucky for us, she's set up shop here in the sleepy south, and has also decided to bring her professional focus to performing house concerts throughout the USA and Europe!

Included below is some important info about the concert, and why it is so special. But first, allow me to introduce you to our very special guest artist...

(description deleted, but I watched the video and it was making me sleepy after about 30 seconds. )


A PARTY - WITH A PURPOSE.
While a house concert is in essence a party, it's also...a private concert! What makes this particular event so unique and meaningful is that it offers us the opportunity to enjoy an intimate performance AND give back to the arts community directly, by patronizing the featured artist's music. We're excited to host this exclusive event, and in doing so, we ask that you join us in our effort to support vital, independent music, by making an artist donation the evening of the concert. Together, your kind donations will be collectively presented to her in support of not only the exclusive performance she will give, but also, her ongoing commitment to creating music, and sharing it with others.

Please know that any donation amount will be greatly appreciated. The suggested range is $20 - $30, but we invite you to give whatever amount is within your means, and interest. Your support may be given in the form of cash or check, and we will collect all donations after the performance. As a token of appreciation for your presence and support, she will be presenting everyone with a complimentary copy of her latest CD!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's the thing- these are very good friends who invited us to this "party", so we almost feel obliged to go. But, I've met her songwriter friend before and I didn't really care for her. I know she's not taking a sabbatical, she couldn't make it in New York and has moved back home into her parent's house and doesn't have a "real" job. Yeah, I could pop for the $25 and just go, but I didn't like her music either and don't really want to sit through her songs.

What would you do?

A-house/personal concerts are rapidly becoming a new trend in the world of "i-music." You'll see more n' more.
B-Notice that the donation covers a "complimentary" copy of her latest CD.
C-I'd treat it like any other event; if you want to go, to. If you're not interested, don't.

FWIW, one of my favorite gigs/performances ever was at the home of Sid Kroft (remember HR Puffenstuff?) in Deer Valley, Utah a couple years back. Lots of Hollywood and NY snobbery present, paid well, and because of how they set it up, I wasn't "background music" but rather a performing artist that attendees sat and listened to. I'm SURE there were people invited who probably weren't interested in hearing me perform for an hour. I'm glad those that didn't want to attend didn't attend; it probably would have killed the great vibe I felt as a musician performing for those that wanted to hear my music.

In short, if you don't enjoy that sort of music, be busy doing something else that night.

[nerdgirl 0]

Quote

I went to a "house concert" maybe a year ago that Francis Dunnery was doing. Maybe 15 or 20 people in a basement. It was a new idea to me (of course I had never heard of him at the time either) ... it was actually kind of neat. Kind of an intimate show.

I've been to a couple - one was a zydeco-style band in a big backyard and the other was a bluesy singer and bassist (iirc) in the living room of a Victorian-style house. I liked the informal setting. For me, just a lot of fun. Don't remember the charge. For the 2nd, the guy I was seeing at the time paid. I don't think either was more than $10-15/person.

/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[PLFXpert 0]

I would think it very strange.

Having said that, I would likely go if I did not know the back-story as you seem to. Considering that information, I would politely decline.

I do not like to support anything financially or otherwise without doing a bit of research. I would probably have a question or two for my friend. If it were an invite from my best friend (who now that I think about it, has sent me all sorts of invitations to various events I would otherwise have never attended) I would probably not even question her decision and just go for a good time. I love nothing more than an intimate setting, drinks, good friends and music. It beats bar-hopping which I never understood and never do.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[RastaRicanAir 0]

Quote

Hey! It beats standing on a corner with your guitar case open in front of you.

Actually, I find more dignity in that than getting my "friends" to shanghai paying customers for me. At least people are only paying because they think you don't suck. (Or they feel legitimately sorry for you.)

And an "obligatory donation" makes as much sense as a "theoretical orgasm."
It's called a Cover Charge.

OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411
-"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

[Bertt 0]

You pretty much answered your own question, didn't you? Sometimes I tell people I fell off a ladder.

[skymama 35]

Quote

Plus, unlike those other "parties", Andrea probably won't be pressured into hosting a party of her own at some later date.

Actually, she is hoping to book future gigs from this. One reason I feel bad about not going is that I only saw 7 other names on the e-mail list so I know there won't be a lot of people there to begin with.

The more I think of it, the more it's bothering me. I really don't want to have to pretend to like someone's music for an evening when I've already heard a sample and know it's not my thing. I'm sure I'll disappoint my friend, but she should expect some people to decline. Right?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[DSE 3]

Quote

I'm sure I'll disappoint my friend, but she should expect some people to decline. Right?

Absolutely. No one should feel compelled to attend, regardless of friendship. Just decline soon enough so she can add another name to the list.

[tigra 0]

Quote

Quote

Plus, unlike those other "parties", Andrea probably won't be pressured into hosting a party of her own at some later date.

Actually, she is hoping to book future gigs from this. One reason I feel bad about not going is that I only saw 7 other names on the e-mail list so I know there won't be a lot of people there to begin with.

The more I think of it, the more it's bothering me. I really don't want to have to pretend to like someone's music for an evening when I've already heard a sample and know it's not my thing. I'm sure I'll disappoint my friend, but she should expect some people to decline. Right?

If she's a good friend, she will understand if you politely decline for any reason. She might be disappointed, but she'll get over it and maybe she'll leave you off the list next time.

[Tuna-Salad 0]

As a token of appreciation for your presence and support, she will be presenting everyone with a complimentary copy of her latest CD -


If you are giving a donation then it really isn't complimentary is it?

Millions of my potential children died on your daughters' face last night.

[FlyingJ 0]

I have no problem with this kind of thing as long as it's advertised for what it is. I have tons of musician friends in NYC and when I lived there went to my share of "rent" parties for friends who had a rough time booking gigs that month, etc. It's one of my favorite venues to hear live music. Small setting with other friends, just hanging out, etc.

Saying no can be extremely hard. Telling someone no because you don't like what they are offering even harder. That said, if this person is really having such a hard time "making it" that they can't fill a suburban "house" party than maybe it's time for the musician version of the bowling speech.

Killing threads since 2004.