millertime24 8 #1 December 30, 2010 OCD/ADHD/Controlling boss? I do, and I'm almost at the breaking point with this individual. She tells me "You're in charge while I'm gone so run the place how you see fit", yet when I make a decision she doesn't like (that in no way affects the mission), I'm counselled about it. It's like she is telling me "Do whatever you need, so long as you do it the way I would do it". An example; Our commander (a LtCol) told me at 1500 last Thursday that if I could let my people go then to do so. I let my Airmen go then due to the lack of work, she found out about it, then called me in today (my day off) to bitch at me about it. It may seem like mindless ranting, but at least this helps (talking to fellow jumpers). Ive, in fact, vollunteered to be a SF augmentee (basically I wont have to deal with my boss for over a month). Any words of encouragement would be good. I have to deal with this cunt again tommorrow (my day off) and still have to have a smile on my face and act like Im happy to do what she's volluntold me to do.Muff #5048 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #2 December 30, 2010 Only one. Don't use the "C" word. Girls don't like it much. I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
millertime24 8 #3 December 30, 2010 Quote Only one. Don't use the "C" word. Girls don't like it much. Dude, "Fucking Cunt" is her name in my mind (hopefully wont let that one slip in front of her).Muff #5048 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickDG 23 #4 December 30, 2010 It's the one thing I hated about the military. I interacted with some great people I'll never want to forget, and I interacted with some people that were so F'd-up in the head I'll unfortunately never forget them either. And this was 40 years ago! The only advice I can give you is the following. You know the drill, shit rolls downhill. So just smile and say, "Yes, ma'am, right away, ma'am!" Then go outside and stick a K-bar into one of her tires . . . NickD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
millertime24 8 #5 December 30, 2010 QuoteThen go outside and stick a K-bar into one of her tires Why do that? If you place a small stone between the and the valve-stem and the cap, you can achieve the same result.Muff #5048 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #6 December 30, 2010 They're your airmen, tell her you will manage them how you see fit, so long as the mission gets accomplished. I've gone thru that with almost every boss I've had E-5 thru E-7(P) and they all respected that. If she still has a problem, just ask her if there is anything going on, so you can cut them loose. That was one of the perks of being a team chief, I was in charge of my team, once I had nothing left, they were free to go home to their wives, if something popped up, I would come in (or stay late) and take care of it. Mission, Men, Myself. (not sure if yall have that saying too... but its the Army way of life)"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #7 December 30, 2010 QuoteOCD/ADHD/Controlling boss? I do, and I'm almost at the breaking point with this individual. She tells me "You're in charge while I'm gone so run the place how you see fit", yet when I make a decision she doesn't like (that in no way affects the mission), I'm counselled about it. It's like she is telling me "Do whatever you need, so long as you do it the way I would do it". An example; Our commander (a LtCol) told me at 1500 last Thursday that if I could let my people go then to do so. I let my Airmen go then due to the lack of work, she found out about it, then called me in today (my day off) to bitch at me about it. It may seem like mindless ranting, but at least this helps (talking to fellow jumpers). Ive, in fact, vollunteered to be a SF augmentee (basically I wont have to deal with my boss for over a month). Any words of encouragement would be good. I have to deal with this cunt again tommorrow (my day off) and still have to have a smile on my face and act like Im happy to do what she's volluntold me to do. Well, it's Air Force, a different culture from what I've seen in the Army. For comparison sake, what is your rank/grade and what is hers? I've seen plenty of seasoned NCOs tell officers in the Army politely, but distinctly to "f**k off" when that officer was in the process of making a soup-sandwich (from LTC on down, full bird Colonels are obviously a different story). Now, I know that the officer corps in the Air Force is its own "blue mafia" of sorts, and that culture is hurting that branch badly. But if you have the stripes, even as an NCO, maybe E7 or higher, set her straight. There isn't anything she can really effectively do without taking up a lot of other people's time. If you're both officers, then I'd make damn sure you're set to challenge whatever evaluation she gives you (in the Army they're called OERs). If you're both NCOs then do the same thing. The rank is there for command and control, not for dick-in-ass - there is a difference. If it's a real problem, keep a log of activity and if it turns into a reflection of character and an intentionally biased review, then go to the IG. Thing is, if you choose this option, you'll have to be triple-OCD to keep everything straight, or you will burn yourself. In the end, if you're in for the long haul, use the opportunity as an example of how not to conduct yourself, and ride the wave until one of you gets their PCS orders for the next assignment. However, if she's driving you to work with SF (MPs for the rest of us), then I don't know man...last thing I'd want to do is work with MPs...*groan*...that's a sign that shit is bad dude (assuming you fly-boys dislike your SF/MPs as much as we did in Army)...So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #8 December 30, 2010 Rough spot. Next time ask her for more specific direction ahead of time, and stay in those parameters. As she's prebriefing you, readback what she's saying to confirm it. Let the airmen under you know you're operating under restrictions that you have no control over. If she rants on you again, ask her for guidance as to what she would have done. Tell her next time you'll do that. Do the absolute best job you can and realize she won't be your boss forever. Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #9 December 30, 2010 Keep your head down below the radar. In battles with seniors, you're bound to lose. She won't be there forever. Alternatively, date her girlfriend.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluepill 0 #10 December 30, 2010 Been in a similar situation with a horrible manager - still am. The advice I was given then which I though was crap was that you have to manage your manager. But it does work. Play her at the game. In the situation you gave the choices you had were: 1. Do it your way. 2. Do it the way she would have expected YOU to do it. 3. Do it the way she would have done it. 4. Do it the way she would have liked to have done. You should have chosen at least option 3 and ideally once you understand her more - option 4. It has paid dividends for me becuase I have gained my bosses complete trust now and because I know how to do what she wants, she LISTENS and accepts my alternative ideas and actions... and I get things done my way. Manage your manager to help them to manage you. BP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #11 December 30, 2010 QuoteLet the airmen under you know you're operating under restrictions that you have no control over. This does nothing but make the subordinates loose respect for their senior boss. If they've worked for you long enough, they will know whats your idea and whats not. Telling your 'Joes' that "This isn't my idea, but we have to get it done" has no effect on the mission getting accomplished, its gonna get done either way... It it doesnt matter whos idea it is, when the order is passed down, it becomes their idea."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #12 December 30, 2010 Quote Alternatively, date her girlfriend. The hottest advice ever. . . We want video. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #13 December 30, 2010 Max I had seen NCO's tell officer directly to fuck off and do their job, if they knew how. When you reach E7 in certain MOS's they tend not to want any trouble. I know of one GMC that scares the piss out of anything less than an 05. But he has been around for so long that many guys higher than 05 may have been trained by him when they were enlisted or young officers. I always thought he was passed over for mustang. I recently found out that was just the official story, he refused it and told them to give it to someone younger. All he ever wanted to be is a chief, that was all that was ever needed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
