Nataly 38 #1 July 20, 2007 The boyfriend and I are in the process of getting a joint-mortgage and finding a place.. Just wondering wether anyone else found the experience MINDNUMBINGLY painful??"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #2 July 20, 2007 My wife and I lived together in an apartment before we got married and then bought a house months before the wedding. Just know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 July 20, 2007 Wow--that sucks! Nope--we're getting a joint-mortgage, so it will be in both our names."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
itllclear 1 #4 July 20, 2007 I speak from personal experience. My wife and I purchased our house years before we got married. Things have gone really well because we did our homework first! Spend the money on an attorney to be sure you have a legally binding agreement as to each party's ownership interest, obligations to each other during the ownership, options in the case either of you defaults on those obligations, and what to do if you decide to end the relationship. Each of you should have your own attorney review the agreement. This is not only a personal relationship, but considering the value of the asset you are buying a true business partnership, and should be treated as such. Each state has its own laws regarding joint ownership of property, so you really want to get someone local to give the advice. Good luck! Harry"Harry, why did you land all the way out there? Nobody else landed out there." "Your statement answered your question." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #5 July 20, 2007 QuoteJust know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #6 July 20, 2007 Actually, that's sensible advice.. We're both pragmatic people, but it certainly makes more sense to look into it when the relationship is sound!! If for no other reason than to know our liability if we go bankrupt!!! (And as skydivers, you'll appreciate that this is a real possibility if you want to stay current!!! ) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #7 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Just know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? Yah--was thinking just that.. Am I the only one who thinks this is outrageous?? Presumably this is balanced by the woman getting the house in a divorce? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #8 July 20, 2007 Years ago, I ended a relationship and buying the house, or actually talking about buying a house "together" was the catalyst. Bottom line- I thought we'd be "equal" partners and were building a life together, headed for marriage, etc., but he pointed out the disparity in our incomes and my inability to match his contribution dollar for dollar since living in the house would cost more than our apartment did. He wanted everything in his name, but still expected me to pay my share. I went from girlfriend/ partner to "tenant" just like that, and he would have been a landlord with extra benefits. It wasn't so much the house or the money, but that IS stressful. The process made things pretty obvious where I stood in the relationship and it wasn't something I could live with so I walked away. No regrets. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #9 July 20, 2007 QuoteQuoteJust know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? We ARE talking about Alabama...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #10 July 20, 2007 As I understand it, joint mortages between couples and (more and more) a group of friends are becoming common place now that the houseing market is so inflated. I'm sure that you rmortgage advisor will be better able to advice you and point you toward a suitable legal contract, in the event that one or more parties need to sell their part of the property. clicky (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #11 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Just know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? Yah--was thinking just that.. Am I the only one who thinks this is outrageous?? Presumably this is balanced by the woman getting the house in a divorce? Not all that long ago, in Illinois an unmarried woman HAD to be shown as a Spinster on deeds, mortgages and other conveyances. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peanutgallery 0 #12 July 20, 2007 What kind of male chauvinist state do you live in? That's absurd!I used to have a handle on life, but it broke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #13 July 20, 2007 QuoteQuoteJust know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? Let me clarify.. I misspoke... when we did our house paperwork, I think it was really the ownership papers, both names were on the papers, but only I had to sign them. Weird... and my wife (fiance at the time) wasn't too happy about it. Neither was our lawyer, who did the paperwork for us and is female too. Her husband did all the signing on theirs."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #14 July 20, 2007 QuoteThe boyfriend and I are in the process of getting a joint-mortgage and finding a place.. Just wondering wether anyone else found the experience MINDNUMBINGLY painful?? Am I the only one that's of the opinion that you shouldn't buy a house with someone until you're married to them? Or at least have a date set in the very near future? I mean, it's just begging for headaches down the road if the relationship fails prior to marriage. After marriage, financially at least, you are one, before marriage, you're simply not. Nothing to do with religion here, just makes sense to me as a finance guy. |>.<| Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #15 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote The boyfriend and I are in the process of getting a joint-mortgage and finding a place.. Just wondering wether anyone else found the experience MINDNUMBINGLY painful?? Am I the only one that's of the opinion that you shouldn't buy a house with someone until you're married to them? Or at least have a date set in the very near future? I mean, it's just begging for headaches down the road if the relationship fails prior to marriage. After marriage, financially at least, you are one, before marriage, you're simply not. Nothing to do with religion here, just makes sense to me as a finance guy. That's a very chauvanistic view on life I bought my house with me GF 15 years ago, no problems at allYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #16 July 20, 2007 > - Yes, pretty much I guess that you are.. What with the cost of property in the U.K, it's an every day practise to share the burden of property purchase. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #17 July 20, 2007 Business partners get together and buy things all the time. A house isn't any different. You just have to work out the details beforehand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,408 #18 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Just know that all the paperwork for the house is going to be in the guy's name. At least that's the way it works in Alabama. ??? What, are women not allowed to have their names on mortgages in Alabama??? We ARE talking about Alabama... But being Alabama, they already had the same last name, so her name was on the mortgage."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,408 #19 July 20, 2007 Quote That's a very chauvanistic view on life I bought my house with me GF 15 years ago, no problems at all Sounds cool as long as your wife doesn't find out."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #20 July 20, 2007 Quote Business partners get together and buy things all the time. A house isn't any different. You just have to work out the details beforehand. I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about a romantic relationship as opposed to a business relationship, silly meEdit:: I guess I should've elaborated. I've heard way too many horror stories of one partner skipping town when both are on the loan and the collections agency goes after the other, cause legally, they're both responsible for the entire loan. But hey, go right ahead, I'm sure the relationship will work out just fine |>.Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #21 July 20, 2007 That's a very chauvanistic view on life I bought my house with me GF 15 years ago, no problems at all. Quote Wife ever find out?! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #22 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Business partners get together and buy things all the time. A house isn't any different. You just have to work out the details beforehand. I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about a romantic relationship as opposed to a business relationship, silly meHee heeeeeeeeeeee!!! I think getting married is pretty absurd--except for financial reasons I've been in a situation before where a guy owed me several thousand dollars and I was happy to walk away.. I accepted that I would never see the money. Ok, a house is more than a few thousand, but we're both financially secure and neither one of us wouldn't be able to cope even given the worst-case scenario scenario."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #23 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Business partners get together and buy things all the time. A house isn't any different. You just have to work out the details beforehand. I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about a romantic relationship as opposed to a business relationship, silly meEdit:: I guess I should've elaborated. I've heard way too many horror stories of one partner skipping town when both are on the loan and the collections agency goes after the other, cause legally, they're both responsible for the entire loan. But hey, go right ahead, I'm sure the relationship will work out just fine If you are in a romantic relationship and you buy property together, you have entered into a business transaction together and should treat it as such, working out details in a contract beforehand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #24 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote That's a very chauvanistic view on life I bought my house with me GF 15 years ago, no problems at all Sounds cool as long as your wife doesn't find out. my GF is my wife now been together nearly 20 years, married 5You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #25 July 20, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Business partners get together and buy things all the time. A house isn't any different. You just have to work out the details beforehand. I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about a romantic relationship as opposed to a business relationship, silly meEdit:: I guess I should've elaborated. I've heard way too many horror stories of one partner skipping town when both are on the loan and the collections agency goes after the other, cause legally, they're both responsible for the entire loan. But hey, go right ahead, I'm sure the relationship will work out just fine If you are in a romantic relationship and you buy property together, you have entered into a business transaction together and should treat it as such, working out details in a contract beforehand. I agree, but a contract is only binding to the parties in the contract that can be found. At least with divorce proceedings, the judge can order a property sold and the missing party doesn't need to be there or agree. I guess I'm just very interested in protecting myself from other people's irresponsibility. |>.Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
