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BillyVance

BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

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ryoder


Where else could he have sat?
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

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BillyVance

http://bgr.com/2017/09/11/sex-robot-hack-security-cyborg/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

"Death by sex robot"

Now that would be a helluva epitaph. :D:S



Or to make it more tactful:

"He died doing what he loved"

:P
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Bob_Church

I forget. Is it "it's more funny because it's true" or "it's not funny because it's true?" Anyway, this brings back 20 years of memories.

http://digg.com/video/college-tour-honest


"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Yeah, he was probably just holding it for a friend. Presumably a really, really good friend. :D

http://www.pennlive.com/news/2018/01/prison_inmate_claims_drugs_fou.html

Prison inmate claims drugs found in his butt weren't his, court doesn't buy it

This is an argument that was doomed to fail.

In fact, it took a state Superior Court panel just five pages to reject prison inmate Edwin Greco Wylie-Biggs' claim that the drugs guards found in his anus weren't his.

Senior Judge William H. Platt wrote in the state court opinion that Wylie-Biggs became the subject of a strip-search when a corrections officer saw another inmate pass something to him in the state prison at Fayette.

When Wylie-Biggs was ordered to bend over and spread his buttocks, the searchers found a small plastic bag sticking out of his rectum. Inside that bag was a blue balloon containing synthetic marijuana.

In April, a Fayette County judge sentenced Wylie-Biggs, 36, of Clarion, to an extra 3 to 6 years in prison for possessing contraband.

In appealing to the state court, Wylie-Biggs contended that prison officials didn't prove the synthetic marijuana was his. Platt promptly discounted that claim, finding the evidence was sufficient to support the contraband conviction.

Chuck Akers
D-10855
Houston, TX

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Holy shit!:o
Australian wildlife have figured out yet another way to kill you!

https://www.inverse.com/article/40018-australian-birds-light-prey-on-fire

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Bring out your dead!

Here's one -- nine pence.

I'm not dead!

What?

Nothing -- here's your nine pence.

I'm not dead!

Here -- he says he's not dead!

Yes, he is.

I'm not!


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42609239
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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ryoder

Bring out your dead!

Here's one -- nine pence.

I'm not dead!

What?

Nothing -- here's your nine pence.

I'm not dead!

Here -- he says he's not dead!

Yes, he is.

I'm not!


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42609239



Sounds like a few lines you would expect in a Monty Python skit... :D
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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BillyVance

***Bring out your dead!

Here's one -- nine pence.

I'm not dead!

What?

Nothing -- here's your nine pence.

I'm not dead!

Here -- he says he's not dead!

Yes, he is.

I'm not!


http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42609239



Sounds like a few lines you would expect in a Monty Python skit... :D

He must be a king.

How can you tell?

He doesn't have shit all over him.

But I can't remember which came first. I think it was these lines, then "bring out your dead"

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ryoder


That's crazy!

They've just taken away a good portion of every home's secure area in which to store things that homeowners don't want to, or can't store inside the home, and still may be stolen.

And things like this are why I dislike HOAs on principle, and why I don't live in a neighborhood that has one.
lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

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oldwomanc6


That's crazy!

They've just taken away a good portion of every home's secure area in which to store things that homeowners don't want to, or can't store inside the home, and still may be stolen.

And things like this are why I dislike HOAs on principle, and why I don't live in a neighborhood that has one.

Here in my town there have been daylight burglaries of people who left garage doors open, and the local PD has warned citizens not to do it.

BTW When I am in the market for a house, I always make it clear to realtors that anything with an HOA is not to be considered.
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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ryoder


That's crazy!

They've just taken away a good portion of every home's secure area in which to store things that homeowners don't want to, or can't store inside the home, and still may be stolen.

And things like this are why I dislike HOAs on principle, and why I don't live in a neighborhood that has one.

Here in my town there have been daylight burglaries of people who left garage doors open, and the local PD has warned citizens not to do it.

BTW When I am in the market for a house, I always make it clear to realtors that anything with an HOA is not to be considered.


I insist on a home where I can take a piss off of the porch.

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