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I would much rather NOT CARE how I look than think I am pretty. Not as in being slovenly, but as in thinking of myself for my other attributes and achievements. Thinking about Nataly's first post, I agree there is something insidious about the 'feel good about how you look'' hype - it's the flip side of the coin of messages to feel unsatisfied with your looks (yes, advertising), and reinforces the idea that looks matter. I don't think anyone really wins from this - neither the 'pretty' nor the 'plain'. as someone who has been 'lucky' to have been judged relatively pretty by the standards of my culture (and in my own eyes too), I can say that there is a major downside: not only does it make growing older (and hence loosing relative value on society's the prettiness/sexiness scales) hard, it produces a nagging feeling that perhaps my looks have favoured me too much, that somehow my professional achievements have been bolstered by being 'pretty' (even tho I never consciously tried to trade on them), that the relatively easy supply of boyfriends I had when I was younger was because of how I looked, not who I was or what did... ok, that's probably putting it too strongly - most of the time it is possible to push all those thoughts away. but it would be somewhat easier if we had much less of a focus on looks full stop. but somehow how i doubt that - i think our DNA (mating imperative) and capitalism (advertising) conspire to feed the looks obsession

when hamas kills 100 israelis for 1 palestinian dead, when hamas blockades an entire population, when hamas fires white phosphorous at civilians.... that would be a sensible question

the comparison with the nazis is silly, because it immediately diverts attention from the actual outrages israel is guilty of. lost the media war? apparently not: i still hear the tired old apologies for war crimes painted as 'these things happen in war', for mass murder glossed as self-defence.

I love my country

I read his book and didn't think he was "fundamentalist" (did you read the passage where he discussed the charge?). Clearly many religious people do see it as rude and disrespectful to say their religion is based on myth, but why is that necessarily a bad thing? it was a big part of why he wrote the book - there is way too much "respect" paid to religion, and he details some of the harmful consequences that arise from that. Why should someone 'respect' views that don't have any evidence to support them? ("respect" because I can't see how, having arrived at the conclusion that believing in god/gods is rather like believing in invisible green fairies, you can honestly respect the belief of someone who does - however much you might like them as a person, or admire their other qualities) as I recall, the arguments Dawkins raises in his book are aimed at the beliefs - it's "this is why I have come to the conclusion that X belief is without good foundation", not "you're stupid" anyway, glad to see this thread - have just finished reading the book, found it very worthwhile

thank you indeed to all who replied. it is all very helpful. as I was turning things over last night I decided I need to do more to recognize feelings of exasperation/pressure when in any kind of potentially-lethal activity (driving, skydiving), as I think they were key in leading me to this. a defensive driving course probably wouldn't hurt either, but I don't think they offer them here. m'cycle licence I already have again, thanks all

many thanks dr Bordson and Lindsey. yes, learning from my mistakes is what I really want to do, but wondering how exactly. it's not like I did something I didn't already know was stupid. I guess I have to work through how I ended up making the wrong decisions.. and yes, I will be apologising to the man I hit. cochese, yeah well, that's another issue. but I'm guessing that wasn't your point. yes, I am feeling absolutely lousy about the motorcyclist (and was one myself at one time). but I don't think guilt alone is particularly useful in figuring out what went wrong and how not to do it again. anyways, it's bedtime over here, so won't be able to thank any other responders for a while.

what do you mean by 'can'? if it's just the logistics - well, you need a dedicated babysitter, either on or off the dz. I have taken my son (now 3) with me, and he absolutely loves it. if it's the ethics of what will happen to your child if you die or are seriously injured, well it's obviously a person thing. how good is your life insurance? how good are the people who would look after child if you are not there? I've wrestled with this for 3 years, and gone both ways. currently 'off' jumping after another crash involving the jump pilot, and I just can't kid myself about aviation safety in the region I live in. your situation may be different.

not a regular poster here, but I hope it's ok to ask this question, seems to fit a skydiving forum. what do you do when you screw up, and need to get your confidence back again? I don't mean read your affirmations/tell yourself how great you are kind of thing, I mean how do you get to feel like you *deserve* (at least a bit) your confidence: ie, that you won't screw up again? to put this in context, I had a road accident a few days ago. my fault. I hit a motorcyclist. thanks to all the fates, he is not seriously injured and was discharged from hospital after an hour or so. but I can't stop chewing over the event, and all the things leading up to it. bit like an incident report: I can see a long line of events leading up to the accident, starting with taking a detour to a wind tunnel (which turned out to be closed), making several wrong turns in a city I'm unfamiliar with, in a country I don't live in, being annoyed at being behind schedule and and and.. but bottom line is that I screwed up majorly, made a stupid driving decision, and am damn lucky not to have killed anyone. it's really shaken me up in ways that go well beyond the expense and hassle that it involves. I've always felt like a reasonably competent person. I skydive, I climb, I have a kid - I can't afford to make such stupid mistakes. what to do to get my brain back? yoga? meditation? any thoughts from people who have been through something similar would be *much* appreciated.

god. why is it the best who die before they should? I never knew Tonto, but know the world is a sadder, poorer place without him. he left a very strong impression.. as a skydiver, as a man, as a human being. may the values he lived by be taken up by those he inspired.

I went there in May this year - hadn't been in a tunnel before, so no basis for comparison.. they let me try to freefly, tho I kind of sucked in my attempts, and stuck to my belly most of the time. I think some people manage to sitfly ok, but a baggy suit would defintely help. I have a feeling that even max power was not great.. but that could be my lack of experience with tunnels. in short - if you explain yourself and show that you can fly on your belly, I would think they would let you try. they are nice guys, too bad it's in the most revolting place (the casino building and "fun" park were about the grottiest things I have seen in years). but it's only an hour or so from KL - definitely worth a visit.

also on truth-making.. Bush administration accused of doctoring scientists' reports on climate change · Inconvenient conclusions censored, hearing told · Researchers warned not to talk about global warming Suzanne Goldenberg in Washington Wednesday January 31, 2007 The Guardian The Bush administration was yesterday accused of systemic tampering with the work of government climate scientists to eliminate politically inconvenient material about global warming. At a hearing of Congress, scientists and advocacy groups described a campaign by the White House to remove references to global warming from scientific reports and limit public mention of the topic to avoid pressure on an administration opposed to mandatory controls on greenhouse gas emissions. Such pressure extended even to the use of the words "global warming" or "climate change", said a report released yesterday by the Union of Concerned Scientists and the Government Accountability Project. The report said nearly half of climate scientists at government agencies had been advised against using those terms. [http://environment.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,,2002485,00.html]

for Southeast Asia-area skydivers there is a chance to jump in Segamat, Malaysia on 3-4 February. As anyone in the region will know, the civilian skydiving scene has been very difficult for the last few years - with luck and support this marks the return of some regular jumping in the region. the aircraft will be an Mi- 8, jump altitude 10,000 ft minimum. registration is free, but contact Richard Chee on swoop1338 [at] gmail.com to let him know your name, passport number and phone number.. or to ask questions. Other details: >> >>Segamat is in Johor, Malaysia. It is 2 hours by car, 4 hours by >>train and 3 hours by bus from Singapore. It is 2.5hrs by car, 3 >>hours by train and 3 hours by bus from Kuala Lumpur. >> >>Accomodation can be arrange either at the golf club (where the DZ is >>located) or at the heart of the town (about 5- mins drive away by >>taxi). Room rates are RM40 for the former or RM60 for the latter. >>Exchange rate is USD$1- RM3.5. >> >>Jump tickets will be priced as follows; >>1. USD$40/ pax with 20 skydivers, >>2. USD$35/ pax with 25 skydivers, >>3. USD$30/ pax with 30 skydivers, >>4. USD$28/ pax with more than 30 skydivers. >> .

well, depends what 'openly watching' means.. I'd feel uncomfortable with a stranger staring intently/persistently at me *whatever* I was doing. If it was just the normal kind of looking around, maybe eye contact for half a second and a small smile/friendly expression .. then no, it wouldn't bother me at all. actually, I had a guy sitting next to me on a plane when my son was 3 weeks old, and was nervous about it (in addition to flying on a 10 hour flight with a new baby, hell in addition to going out alone with him), but not so much about the breastfeeding per se. more because I thought he would be feeling hostile to having a baby next to him, tho it did mean that I more of an effort to keep things hidden under a light wrap over my shoulder (and this in itself adds a bit to the stress of feeding for a new mother - and no doubt there are moments when the baby is getting latched or the wrap slips a bit, when some skin is probably visible). I guess I was glad that he didn't seem to be craning his head around to look. but I didn't expect him to keep his eyes pointed the other way - given business class seats he could carry on doing what he was doing in a normal way, which is exactly what he did, and that was fine. so in short, if you just carry on as normal I would think you will not offend anyone [:)

just because no-one has mentioned this yet.. no, it is NOT feasible (or kind) to refrain from feeding your normally-breast fed baby on a plane -- or in public if you ever go out for more than a couple of hours and don't want to feed in a toilet (would you want to eat there?). on planes it is particularly essential: babies ears do not adjust well to pressure changes, so it is the standard recommendation to feed them for at least 10 minutes after take off and for the descent period before landing. feeding them will stop them screaming at these times. also - and not directed at PLFXpert in particular - this whole 'cover up' and be discreet thing is not always as easy as some people make out. god knows, I don't know a single breast feeding mother who didn't do her best to be discreet. most were acutely aware of the potentially judgemental attitudes of people who find it 'off putting'. no way I wanted to flash my nipples in public. BUT sometimes it does just happen, for a short moment. If you are fairly new at breastfeeding you may not find it possible to latch your baby on entirely under shawl. it can be tricky... older babies sometimes object to having their heads totally covered by a cloth while they feed.. sometimes they pull off suddendly to look around. tip for those of you who find this somehow offensive (which I can't fathom, but anyway): don't stare at the breast area.. look away. everyone will feel better that way.