SwoopnHuck

Coming soon to a gaming console near you (XBox, XBox360, PS2, PS3, PC and yes the GameCube) is the much anticipated First person game of the millennium that every Muslim must have: “Jihad”. Synopsis: In “Jihad” you’ll get the once in a life time opportunity to put the Infidel in their place and secure your place in paradise with as many virgins as you can handle. “Jihad” offers four distinctive gaming experiences. In the first gaming mode you act as a freedom fighter in Iraq where you’re tasked with eliminating the American Infidel by using your trusty suicide bombing vest. In the second gaming mode, we take you to the exotic city of Tel Aviv Israel where you will be assigned to a food market where the infidel must be eliminated through the use of your trusty suicide vest (our personal favorite in this level is to blow up the school bus full of children who are parked at the northeast corner of the market). In the third gaming mode, we take you to the subways of London England where you hook up with the local British Imams who will set you up with the best suicide vests money can buy. With these new and improved suicide vests, you and your multi-player "Jihad" friends can coordinate your attack on the Infidel to inflict maximum damage not only to those worthless unbelievers, but you’ll also be given the opportunity to inflict maximum damage to London’s transportation system and ultimately London’s economy. Finally, in our rush to please all Muslims around the globe with their quest towards Jihad, we’ve decided to add a new last minute gaming mode to “Jihad”. In this bonus gaming mode, you will be given the opportunity to shoot Catholic nuns in the back of the head in the historic children’s hospital of Mogadishu Somalia and if you do actually succeed in killing enough nuns with the firearms you are issued, instead of having your suicide vest detonate, the game teleports you into the private chamber of Pope Benedict the II at the Vatican where you will be able to have tea with the Holy Pontiff before your suicide vest detonates sending him to hell and yourself to paradise to meet all of the virgins you have been promised. Positive Impressions of the Game: “Jihad” is the must have game of the millennium for all obedient Muslims around the globe. In this game, you fantasize about being just like your favorite real world Islamic freedom fighter where you will be outfitted with the best “Suicide Vests” and “Improvised Exploding Devices” money can buy. In fact the makers of “Jihad” feel that you will become so absorbed with this game that once you have completed your first level, you will want to run (not walk) to your local Al-Qaeda recruiting office where there will be no shortage of real world targets that you can choose from to rid the world of the Infidel. But be warned, before we send you off to free the world from the Infidel, you must under go many hours of education and training studying the meaning of the Koran. During your training you will be whisked off to Pakistan where not only will you be educated in the ways of the Koran, but the training exercises will allow you safe passage into Afghanistan to watch some of your freedom fighting peers use their IEDs and suicide vests just so that you know how to do it once it is your turn. Plus while in the Tora Bora region of Afghanistan, you will stay at the lush “Cave of Osama” resort where you will get to watch hours of inspirational videos of our leader. Just remember to keep your head down as the Infidel still thinks they can oust us and our freedom loving friends the Taliban from Afghanistan. But fret not, once you’re back in Pakistan, you will be protected by our friend Pervez Musharraf who so far as deceived the western powers into thinking that he his on their side when we all know that he would like nothing other than to see the Infidel burn in hell. Negative Impressions of the Game: There’s not much bad to say about this game. It’s a true joy to play for all Muslims and we feel that this game will make you want to be like your real life freedom fighting heroes. But if there is something negative about this game, it was that we think the developers rushed the game to the market a little early before all the kinks could be worked out of it. At the end of your mission (a split second after your suicide vest detonates) instead of finding yourself in paradise with the virgins (as the Koran promises), the screen just goes black and the whole system hangs. This issue has been mentioned numerous times to the developers of “Jihad” and while they assure us that the game was thoroughly tested and is bug free, there remains a problem with getting into paradise and we’ve decided to give the game makers a deadline of 10 days to fix this issue or else we will pay their office a visit and show them what real "Jihad" feels like. We were also confused as to why the game makers only allowed us to play one mode of the game. For some reason, you can only play the Iraq freedom fighter mission, the Tel Aviv market, the London subway or the Mogadishu hospital. Once one of these levels was completed, the entire game needed to be uninstalled and reinstalled all over again and each time you had to go through the training and education missions before you got to wage Jihad on the Infidel. We think more people would take to this game, if you could skip the training and education and go directly to killing the Infidel. But other than that, we think all obedient Muslims should play this game and rid the world of the Infidel for good. Looking Forward: Since the developers of "Jihad" have exposed their APIs to 3rd party application developers, we are especially looking forward to special "expansion packs" which should be made available to the regular "Jihad" player and these expansion packs will enhance their "Jihad" experience by bringing the fight directly to Fortress America where the Infidel thinks that their foolish War on Terror has made America safe (I mean there hasn't been a major attack in the USA since 9/11 so America is safe thanks to GWB right?). But with this expansion pack, you will get to visit close relatives of yours in Montreal and Toronto Canada (who have close connections with influential Liberal Canadian Politicians) before they smuggle you into the USA where you will be given your choice of big ticket targets to eliminate. This has got to be the most sought after mission in "Jihad" since the Crusades. Just imagine the joy you will bring yourself as you strap that nuclear suicide vest on during your visits to historical American land marks and American financial institutions. Allah Akbar … God is Great ... and death to the Infidel ... PS: DO NOT TAKE THIS POST SERIOUS!!! It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

Cool vid ... It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

No I'd rather static line it or be PCAed by someone I trusted using my own BASE gear thank you very much. But I would like to make the jump. I doubt I'd freefall it though. I've done a hand held freefall from 270 feet in the past at that was low enough for me. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

You sure you want to do a sub-200 foot Building as your first BASE jump on borrowed gear? There's just way too many *** gotcha's *** in this statement to make it sound like a good idea. 1) It's recommended that you build experience on Antennas and Spans before moving on to the much more dangerous Building and Earth jumps. 2) Sub 200 foot jumps require that you either have a static line setup, are PCAed by an experienced jumper or have a 46 or 48 inch PC and the biggest balls around if you decide to freefall an object this low. 3) Doing a sub 200 foot jump on borrowed gear your not familiar with just doesn't sound like a smart idea. You're going to have a very short canopy ride and if (don't know if you've even flown a BASE canopy yet) you're not familiar with the flight characteristics of your borrowed canopy. But if you do make the jump, be sure to get video as we can potentially always use it in one of those ... carnage sections ... of the next BASE video to come out. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

Apples and oranges my friend, apples and oranges. Hmmm ... note to self ... let's start a threat to openly bash skydivers and praise paragliders. Oops, no need to as someone beat me to it in this thread. Why is it that some people always assume that the only people getting into BASE are skydivers with only 150 skydives and spent all their time swooping and thus are automatically classified as accidents waiting to happen. Why is it that some people only assume that paragliders are these larger than life canopy pilots who's experience and skill exceed those of all parachutists (except of course for the BASE jumping gods who have superior canopy skills to anyone around). How can you possible say that a paraglider is going to be more qualified than a skydiver? And where does the ground launcher fit into to all of this? We're talking about four different sports here (BASE, Skydiving, Paragliding and Ground Launching) and the only thing that any of them have in common is that they all use nylon and cordura fabric in their gear. Yes experienced paragliders do have very good weather knowledge and very good canopy control (canopy control using paraglider specific gear not BASE jumping gear) and paragliders in some cases have experience landing out. But paragliders have no freefall experience and no packing experience and likely little experience dealing with malfunctioning canopies. Likewise some skydivers have poor weather knowledge, poor canopy control and haven't quite figured out freefall either. But are all skydivers like this? Hell no ... some skydivers have good weather knowledge (some of them may have been pilots before they were jumpers) and some skydivers have good canopy control and believe it or not, some skydivers also have experience landing out. I guess I'm just saying to generalize is just plain wrong. We're all individuals, we all come from different backgrounds and possess different experiences. If I want to get good at something, the only way I'll get good at it, is to get out there and do it. No amount of paragliding is going to make me a better BASE jumper, no amount of skydiving will make me a better BASE jumper. The only thing that is going to make me a better BASE jumper is to get out and BASE jump. Case in point, I was talking to someone yesterday about Ground Launching and they mentioned that we should do hop n' pops and practice flying close to each other. And to this response I said "well that couldn't hurt your canopy control skills, but if you want to learn how to Ground Launch, then you need to get out and Ground Launch with me". Finally before I end my two cent (internet worthless) comments, I was inspecting a Ground Launching site yesterday which is also used by paragliders and I ran into a paraglider and I got to talking to him a little. The dude wasn't rude or anything, but he had his own attitude and misconceptions about Paragliding and Ground Launching and I could tell just from his words that he and his friends are not going to like myself and anyone I bring to the Ground Lauching site. The dude had no concept whatsoever as to what Ground Launching was and after trying to explain to him what it was that I would be doing, he basically tried to convince me that it wasn't possible to fly a canopy close to the slope (despite the fact that I've already got some Ground Launching experience) and that I should only be doing paragliding from this site. So BASE jumpers are not the only people snubbing their noses at other disciplines. Next stop for this BASE jumper, Skydiver and Ground Launcher ... the most bodacious legal span to huck myself off of up in potato-ville. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

I witnessed a beautiful thing last night ground crewing for some friends. I can not tell you what it was, where it was, nor can I tell you who was doing it. But in order for these people to continue to do what they did, good BASE ethics and judgement are absolutely required. But it was a beautiful sight to see. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

I wouldn't get on SBCmac's rear end too much. He has after all provided some insightful information into this discussion. I especially like his points concerning will the newbies (I'm one of them) still be around after they have witness some friends go in (and how can you argue with that). We may not always like the answers to the questions which we ask, but as something as serious as BASE, the honest answers must be given. I don't think Bridge Day is a bad thing. It's just the talk that some people initiate this time of year abiout getting into BASE without fulling understanding what "getting into BASE" really means. Keep the talk coming people. This has been a good thread (at least in my mind it's been good ... and heck I started it). It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

My motivations for creating this thread have nothing to do with being threatened with people wanting to get into the sport and everything to do with concern about the experience and knowledge (or lack there of) of some people towards this sport which ultimately relates to the safety out there. Remember I too am a newbie to BASE jumping. The 40-50 BASE jumps which I have is squat when it comes to being considered experienced. Locally to where I am, there has been a lot of people who have made their first X number of jumps within the last 12 months and in some cases, these new people have decent parachuting experience. But concern lies in the people with minimal experience controlling a parachute yet they still feel the need to expose themselves to the dangers of BASE jumping. And with each new jumper, there is yet another potential jumper behind them saying "yes I too want to get into it" regardless of whether or not the person has spent the time to build canopy control experience. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't know? That is why I asked for the opinions of the more experienced people. Is this a seasonal thing? Can we expect that every fall new people will be expressing an interest towards getting into one of the world's most dangerous and extreme sports? It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

First off, I am by no means a BASE guru or anything like that. In fact I am a fairly new BASE jumper myself (I have only about 50 BASE jumps to my credit). But I am curious to get the opinion of the more experienced BASE jumpers concerning the influx of new blood into the sport. Is it possible that this is an annual occurence (set around Bridge Day every October) and I just haven't been around long enough? But there seems to be many many many new people who are trying to get into BASE nowadays. In some cases, these are people with decent parachuting experience from the skydiving world, and in some cases it is people with hardly any parachuting experience who despirately want in. I also know that there has been many debates in the past about whether it's better to take someone with skydiving experience, or to take someone with no experience with parachutes at all and the opinions can be radically different from one mentor to the next. So what's the take on all of this? Do some of you experienced folks think that some shit is going to hit the fan very soon due to all of the new people entering the sport? Or is this just a seasonal thing? How do you feel about someone with only a handful of parachute jumps visiting Bridge Day and then deciding that they too want to get into one of the World's most extreme and dangerous activities. Are we sitting on a ticking time bomb here? Is there proper respect for the sport being shown or are people just looking for that next thrill? It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

I'm wondering if Clint (when he has the time) will write up something about his boogie. I wasn't jumping at the boogie as much as I originally would have liked to have been (I only made 2 jumps). But what can I say, the cliffs of Moab were calling me to come out and play. There appeared to be a tons of people at the Moab boogie, so I was just curious as to how Clint felt his event went? Do we need to start making plans for next year? It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

3/4 brakes in high winds, low to the ground sounds like a recipe for a disaster. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

I'll vote for you if you promise to do a better job than what Bush is doing. Both Bush and Kerry are a joke. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

Check out my signature line. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

Fair enough ... you've said you peace and said it well. I'm sure we can agree that there's a time to turn a blind eye to the foolishness and then there's a time to stop it. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!

Wow sure is nice to know that you, unlike all us other Chowderheads are such a good canopy pilot uncapable of making a mistake and hurting yourself under canopy. But if memory serves me correct, can't you yourself be called a Chowderhead as well? Did you or did you not break you leg while flying your canopy? Or was this an announced incident and thus couldn't possibly be grouped in with the rest of us Chowderheads? You know I've (knock on wood) yet to suffer a severe injury either swooping and/or BASE jumping, but I'm not naive enough to think that something bad can't happen to me on my next jump. So maybe you should think about your past before you start telling people about what a superior skydiver you are and how you hate it when Chowderheads take to the air. It's a parachute, it wants to open!!!