happythoughts

There are two easy ways to get rid of losers in a large corporate environment. One, give them the idea that they need to move elsewhere in the company...soon. Then give them a glowing recommendation. Off they go. Second way, create a "quality assurance" group to support ISO 9000. People with no technical or management skills can be placed in it. It is a safe environment where they will cause no damage other than adding to the paperwork.

I used to feel that way when I was an employee. Either you would be told to work UNPAID overtime on an essential project, just to complete it and have it shelved. Or they would re-prioritize your work and want you to work OT to fix mis-spelled report headings. My fav though was when they went against my recommendation and did something incorrectly. I worked OT to complete the stupid idea. Then, I worked OT to redo it in the manner that I originally designed. All the free unpaid OT that I could want and, all the while, the company bills the OT to the customer. (how do you think they pay for your "benefits"?) I'm a contractor now. Stupid is cash in my pocket. "You don't want to do it my way? Superrrrr. I'll get right on it." "OT? No problem." "Oh...you paid me to do it with the incorrect design that I warned you about and now you want to pay me to do it right this time? OT? No problem." Stupid is my cash cow, baby!

Maybe my new sig line could be "electrical shock therapy really worked for me"

It depends. With that uniform, you only get small, tight packages.

The new UPS uniform. NWS ?

It's all Biblical. It says in the Bible that women who were caught fornicating were stoned. True then, true today.

You generally need to impress the woman in order to get her into bed...unless of course she's drunk or a whore.... I wait until a drunk one thinks I'm cute and then I don't talk a lot and mess it up. Not exactly a strategy, but it works best.

The important thing is that you are not bitter.

"The people from Britain are ... going to be found travelling the world. " At least until the weather improves at home.

You don't often hear successful therapy stories, even at the higher voltages.

ESP would be cool. I could get really good insurance rates.

You can dial that number and get a long distance phone, up to 20 minutes, for just a dollar. So Terry Bradshaw says.... Actually, I could go hang out with Rev Jim, but it would be a short evening.

Dohhh...This helpful information would have been more useful before I bought my #'s, Not even 1 single # matched. At work, all 71 of us kicked in $1. We had 71 tickets, we matched 3 of 6 on one ($4.50). What the heck? What can you do for entertainment with $1 anyway?

I would like to contribute to this thread, but I have no idea.

That attitude won't work with Viking, girls. He isn't just some shallow piece of meat. Unless you respect his feelings, you are getting nowhere. I told 'em for ya, bro. They aren't going to just use you and cast you aside. You're safe now.

Oh cool...I need a full face helmet too for when they kick me in the forehead. Where do I sign up? I am just appalled at her cynicism. Besides, doesn't she realize that guys couldn't marry a woman for money? Not for lack of trying, mind you. There just seems to be some unwritten rule somewhere that prevents it.

Living in Florida, where there are more strip clubs than convenience stores, a lot of dancers jump. Scuba is more popular though because of the risk of banging up the knees. A neighbor came out to the dz one time and watched everyone land for a couple of hours, then decided that she wanted to do a tandem. Cessna dz. She was in the door with both feet on the outside. She yells to the tm, "I don't want to go." The tm replies, "GO?...ok..." On the ground, "Ya know, I am one crazy %$&#*, but you are crazier." "How'd it go?" "I'm still alive." She answered "I'm still alive." to any question for over an hour. The tm said, "Yeah, I heard her, wtf."

If you wear your Tevas when you play golf, the toenails will wrap over the end. You won't need to buy a pair shoes with spikes. The toenails will give you all the grip you need. Another money-saving tip from your Unca Bill.

They want the money, silly. No one wants to marry me now while I'm po'. Welcome to that club. As membership chairman of the Unmarriably Poor Club, I have a membership jacket with a reinforced back so that when potential mates step over me, it doesn't tear the fabric.

Oh, great...something else I have to think about. If I smile too, does that make me gay? The rules are getting so confusing.

"Men only want one thing." Ok, I'll bite. What? I thought...your body and your money are two things that have been mentioned. At least the guys aren't being superficial.

Or brain them with a Louisville Slugger..... remind me to bring my kevlar. Are you going to be in danger? "Step away from the leg, sir."

Ladies only? What about the Brits?

With the exchange rate, you could buy Canada and move it to some place warmer, maybe Arkansas. Imagine the surprise of an alien landing there and a moose turns the tables on them.

That's great, I wish I could mess w/ the customer but we have to be professional sounding. These aren't everyday people, my customer is a very popular computer company and alot of 'em are cool but there are always a few that you just wanna reach through the handset and smack em. Chris Everyone at the hospital was cool except for the doctors. Most people were just doing their job and we were helping them. A doctor once told me, "You have to get that printer fixed, peoples lives are at stake in a hospital." "Uhhh, isn't that the one that you print the bills on, for signature?" "Just fix it..."