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A Husband and wife are shopping in their local store. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.' “Clean up on aisle 9. Man down!” Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

Hi yobnoc, I'm with you. Jerry Baumchen

The best person to answer the question is Tom at Sunpath. I have supplied quite a number of pilot chutes to individuals and it isn't the first time I have heard of this sort of thing. SunPath calls for a larger than average PC. Not everyone agrees to use the recommended size, but for those experiencing lazy extractions, a new PC has always resulted in the problem going away. More than once I've loaned a replacement PC when someone felt theirs wasn't worn out, and funny thing, they never ask to have their original re-installed...

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, 'What kind of car ya got there, sonny?' The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" 'That's a lot of money,' says the old man. 'Why does it cost so much?' 'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?' 'No problem,' replies the doctor. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped !' Just then the light changes, So the doctor decides to show The old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds The speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster ! 'What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself. He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, He sees the old man on the Moped?!?!?! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, He floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, Demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?' The old man whispers, 'Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!'. Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

A Missouri Sheriff stops at a ranch in rural MO and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.' The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.' The Sheriff verbally explodes saying,'Mister, I have the authority of the Sheriffs Department with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?' The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the Sheriff running for his life and close behind is the farmer's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The Sheriff is clearly terrified and screaming louder with each step of the bull gaining on him. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs....'Your badge! Show him your badge, Smartass! Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!" "DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER." HIS FRIEND SAYS, "COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH." "A WITCH ??. . . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TAKING MY TEETH WITH HER." ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly !