Jeth 0 #1 April 11, 2005 Yay!! I finally got back in the air!!! Wow, what a weekend!! Some people may have read about my winter break nerves last week. Well, nerves was a MAJOR understatement!! So I went to SDC on Friday for the student refresher. Was feeling nervous, as usual. Went thru class, good info, asked some questions, all good. Class ends, my instructor says "So ya ready to jump??" Yikes, nerves really setting in now! I'm like "ummmm...... not yet." I go sit outside to try to collect myself. It is around 12:30pm. Every few minutes people keep coming up to me asking when I'm going to jump. I was sooooooo scared!!! I think it was mainly of the landing. My last jump in September I crashed and tore my knee. So I was totally convinced I was going to crash again. But then I made it even worse by bringing up even more negative thoughts! Arrrrrgggg, I hate it when I do that!! I started thinking I would go unstable, I would have a mal, I would lose track of alititude, etc. Just about every negative thought you can have, well I had it. And now since 3+ hours have passed, now I'm also really pissed at myself for wasting the entire afternoon. I am really thinking of just giving the whole thing up. But then I think that I would never forgive myself if I did that. But I am sooooo scared, its unbelievable!! People that know me can't believe I am so upset. I'm crying, I'm all pent up, it was HORRIBLE. No one should make themselves feel like this!!! So finally at about 4, I say to myself - I MUST GO. I cannot leave here today without jumping. If I do, I'll never get back in the air. So I wait for the instructor to come back, so I can manifest. I DO NOT want to jump. I am hating every minute of it. I am in such a negative place, it is so awful. I get geared up and load without talking to anyone. I am about to burst into tears at any moment. I've never had a problem with the door, and that still holds true. As soon as I'm in the door, I just do my ready-set-go and I'm out. I am so tense, I'm bouncing all over the place. I manage to get somewhat stable, and then try a turn. It doesn't work. I try again and start spinning. I am all over the place. Finally my instructor grabs my leg to stabalize me, and then I pull. (at correct altitude) Oh great, of course, today I get my first line twists. I think it was about 4. But I kick them out okay and then have a good canopy. God, it is beautiful up here. Thank god, one positive thing today. Ok, get to my holding area. Now I'm on approach. My instructor calls out my turns. I'm on final, I am absolutely petrified. I know I am into the wind, but I am still freaking. I just keep telling myself "don't break till she says, not till she says, not yet, not yet!" Then I hear it "Ok, 1!.... 2-3". Wow, I got incredible lift with 1! Then I just popped down on my feet/butt. In that exact moment that my butt hits the ground, I start screaming. "YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! I DID IT!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!" Then I start sobbing. I'm just laying there in the grass crying and saying "I did it, I did it, I did it..." It was such an incredible relief/release. I don't think I realized how much pent up emotion/fear I had until it all came out at that moment. I DID IT. I GOT BACK IN THE AIR. I was terrified and hated every moment, but I did it. At least now I can look myself in the mirror tomorrow morning. And tomorrow's going to be better. Well, it was. My 2nd jump was great. MUCH more stable. Lots of smiles. I landed that one and said "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!! Skydiving is supposed to be fun!!"Overall I did 4 jumps this weekend. It was dissapointing that I didn't really advance in my training. I had a good time, but my coordination on my turns is still off, and my 1st track was horrible, so I'm still sitting on level 8. But, thats okay. I got back in the air after more than 6 months. I found the excitment again, I remembered why I love this sport. Wow, what a weekend. I was in the lowest of lows, the deepest, darkest scary place I've ever been. But I found my way out. I jumped 4 times, enjoyed 3 of them, and I learned a bunch of great stuff at the expo. I can't wait to go back and keep on learning. Thanks AndyMan and CraicHead for the pep talks! Great to meet you guys! See you in the skies!! I'm back!!! I forgot to mention, it was also so great cuz I am now WAY more comfortable before jumps, and under canopy! I had some great landing patterns and I didn't flare to early on any of them! And I was so much more relaxed on the ground and in the plane, it was so nice! "At 13,000 feet nothing else matters." PFRX!!!!! Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109 My Jump Site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #2 April 11, 2005 was wondering a little about you.. the last couple of days.... good to know that " the ground didn't smite you".... and that you had FOUR skydives.... great. that "negatory" stuff........ shake that OFF... it will be very liberating,, and then you can concentrate on the important things,,, like perfecting your various skills....freefall and canopy.... Plus.... " there's no crying..... there's no crying in skydiving"....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orange1 0 #3 April 11, 2005 Well done jeth!!! Good on you for facing that fear and overcoming it, and wow 4 jumps! Excellent.Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soarfree 0 #4 April 11, 2005 Great to see you back up in the air Beth!! :) Way to go! Well behaved women rarely make history - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieDoug 0 #5 April 11, 2005 Jeth -- That is such a cool story! Congratulations for digging down deep. I periodically reach cross-roads in the sport where I have to decide whether to reach for the next level or accept that whatever I've accomplished up to that point is enough. So far, I've always chosen to continue, and after going through with it that choice has always been rewarded by the kind of positive experience that you described. Doug Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #6 April 11, 2005 Way to go - we *TOLD* ya so!!!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeth 0 #7 April 11, 2005 Thanks everybody! "At 13,000 feet nothing else matters." PFRX!!!!! Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109 My Jump Site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #8 April 11, 2005 Will you just graduate already so we can jump?! ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeth 0 #9 April 12, 2005 Ok, Sunny, now I'm hearing it from you, too! Geez, like I don't already have enuf pressure, people! I'm workin on it, keep your shorts on! p.s. In the meantime U can always teach me how to pack! "At 13,000 feet nothing else matters." PFRX!!!!! Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109 My Jump Site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Icarus 0 #10 April 12, 2005 Congradulations!!! Don't jump with sunny. She's just trouble..... ________________________________________ "What What..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeth 0 #11 April 12, 2005 QuoteCongradulations!!! Don't jump with sunny. She's just trouble..... Well she only jumps like twice a year, so odds are it'll never happen anyway! "At 13,000 feet nothing else matters." PFRX!!!!! Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109 My Jump Site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craichead 0 #12 April 12, 2005 Yay yay yay! I'm so glad that you're getting less scared and more comfortable and relaxed with skydiving! As Brian said, being scared doesn't help anything...fear is the enemy. QuoteThanks AndyMan and CraicHead for the pep talks! Great to meet you guys! It was great meeting you, too! When you get your license and I get back in the air, we should all do a jump together! We'll get Amy Jo in on the action, too! AndyMan loves jumping with us low-timers. _Pm__ "Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeth 0 #13 April 12, 2005 Woo-hoo! Count me in! "At 13,000 feet nothing else matters." PFRX!!!!! Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109 My Jump Site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
