nigel99 144 #51 January 18, 2008 George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom." The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr. Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King." George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr. Bush". Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr. Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor." Before George Bush could utter another word, the Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #52 January 18, 2008 Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at the Pearly gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry. Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be" "Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?" Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place" "Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?" The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her fanny, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor. "Excellent, you're in" says St Peter "Hold on a f*cking minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything" "Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of Queens...""According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,122 #53 January 18, 2008 Don't quit your day job. And whatever you do, don't audition for Last Comic Standing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #54 January 18, 2008 Lmao. Don't go to San Francisco, you will probably end up sore..."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,122 #55 January 18, 2008 Nah, I heard its only gay if you push back.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #56 January 21, 2008 (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leewilcox 0 #57 January 22, 2008 Actually, US 10^9 and UK 10^12 are both proper uses of billion, just different scales. The original poster could have made it clearer by beginning the post with ... an "American" politician use the word 'billion' .... It is ironic to me that in 1974 British Prime Minister Harold Wilson announced that the UK goverment statistics would from then on use the short scale (formerly US) rather than the long scale (formerly UK). It sure is a good thing that International System of Units (SI) was adopted in 1960. Removes all of those ambiguous terms such as billion, trillion, etc."Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion" - Democritus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,623 #58 January 22, 2008 Whether 10^9 or 10^12, a cluster of a billion atoms is still invisible to the unaided eye. On the other hand, a pile of $1 bills equal in value to the accumulated debt of the Bush administration would reach as far as the Moon.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speedy 0 #59 January 22, 2008 also, folding a piece of A4 paper in half, then in half again ... 42 times would result in the thickness of the paper also reaching the moon. 42 also just happens to be ...... Dave Fallschirmsport Marl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
