Full time mother!? WTF

[Scoop 0]

Yeah, I should have known really. Why the fuck did I even think of starting anything that could upset a bunch of mothers. They are the worst! Paticularly the middle aged ones with their belief of self importance. I know, I'll start another thread about divorced women, they can always take a good joke... NOT!

EDIT: Ooo, I thought of a better one. How women use pregnancy as an excuse to do sod all for months! That'll go down a treat!

[wmw999 2,167]

A large number of top executives, particularly in hard-driving professions, have full-time spouses. They make sure that the executive has all of the details of their life taken care of, and that they can entertain "adequately" for their position.

That goes for both male and female top executives. It's a family career, not one person's career.

Would you consider someone who is a nun to be unemployed? She's not earning wages after all.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Scoop 0]

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Would you consider someone who is a nun to be unemployed? She's not earning wages after all.

That is an interesting point, watch me avoid it

[smiles 0]

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When I ask someone what they do for a living when I'm working and they tell me full time mother, I scribble down UNEMPLOYED in my notebook.

I misunderstood you
___________________________________

Maybe if you were more specific.....

Your occupation requires you to ask mother's what they do for a living and you scribble down unemployed when they reply "full time mother."
You get annoyed when you hear the term 'full time mother.' When you get "I haven't got time to work and look after children" comment that just infuriates you even more. The paperwork you fill out isn't a yes/no answer, you have to state occupation which is why you put either housewife or unemployed.

The people you deal with aren't your average decent people who work hard and make the decision to look after the kids/ you deal with mainly 'welfare queens' …the ones that sit on their ass and do nothing but justify it by saying they are parents/ you have no problem with genuine people who stay at home to look after their kids, prior to going to school or who home teach/ you feel being a mum isn't an occupation, its a responsibility.
__________________________________

I think I might understand you now, Scoop/Sam...
sure glad I do not have your "occupation." By any chance are you a police officer? If so---I respect the hell outa you!

SMiles/Karen

.......you wonder why the fuck you even thought of starting anything that could upset a bunch of mothers, they are the worst -particularly the middle aged ones with their belief of self importance.

.......you certainly didn't upset me and I am the middle aged one!!

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EDIT: Ooo, I thought of a better one. How women use pregnancy as an excuse to do sod all for months! That'll go down a treat!

enjoy that!----mr. I'm misunderstood....

eustress. : a positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being.

[Scoop 0]

Haha, I was, of course, joking about the last bit

[RhondaLea 3]

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Haha, I was, of course, joking about the last bit

Has it ever occurred to you to talk to your mother about how it was being her while you were a kid?

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[misskriss 0]

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Once the kids are all school age and in school all day, I have no respect for the women that call themselves 'full time moms' since they are no longer caring for chidren at home, just sitting on asses all day

I guess it all depends on the circumstances. I have four children now. Three school aged and one infant. Before the baby the kids were in school all day and what did I do? Not only did I run the household while my husband (ex) was deployed--- finances, household issues, cleaning...everything. I also volunteered at their schools whenever they needed me. It's interesting because my husband got vacation and when they were gone they got weeks off in exotic ports. I never got vacation.

School aged children are just as demanding but in different ways. Your shifts change. You get up early and get them ready, prepare lunches and get them to school. You do whatever errands and do whatever chores need to be done as well. You work at the school, etc. When it is time to get them from school then you help with homework and then drive them to whatever activities they do. Afterwards it's cooking dinner, bath, put them to bed. After kids are in bed it is cleaning dishes and finishing up whatever else needs to be done.

I'm also the one up in the middle of the night with sniffly noses and sore throats. Giving medication or just snuggling if that is what is needed.

Also there are days when I have everything done and am able to "sit on my ass" all day. Believe me... after carrying four kids, birthing, nursing, and raising them--I deserve it.

Sorry if I sound huffy... this is after not having a full nights sleep since I was six months pregnant.

Oh yeah.. and I'm still a sex goddes to Hans as well.

I'm thankful that my children get a stay at home mom. I grew up in daycare and it sucked ass.

[Lindsey 0]

Again....I'm glad that we have a choice in the matter.

I think we all tend to get a bit defensive about it, because no matter which route we choose, there's always someone ready to tell us that we're doing it wrong.

I only have one child. My typical day is.... Get up at 5 am (on an early day) or 6am (on a late day) and shower. Fix his school lunch. Sit down for a few minutes with a cup of coffee. Fix his breakfast. Get him up and into the tub. Depending on which day, and whether it's late or early, take him to school or let the babysitter in.

I go to work.....get home around 6 if I'm not on call.

Prepare dinner, help with homework, sometimes do a little cleaning, chill out for a few minutes, play games (every night is family game night), put the young 'un in the tub, bedtime story (Right now it's HP Order of the Phoenix), lights out.

Of course there are variations of that, depending on my schedule, which sometimes is more hectic. The other night when I covered the ER in my little town, Jay hung out with me at the hospital until about 10:30. It's cool for him to see his mom taking care of people in the ER I think. When it settled down there for a few minutes I brought him home, read to him, and put him to bed. A friend stayed at the house with him while I worked. I was able to come home at 5 and continue the normal routine.

I'm not there at home all the time, but the trade-off isn't bad. He gets to see his mom doing some pretty kick-ass stuff. And I'm also very involved with him. It's okay if sometimes he's with the babysitter or the grandparents or my BF. Doesn't hurt him one bit, and he has GREAT relationships with them too.

The drawback is that I don't get much time for myself at all. That does take a toll sometimes. But it's a choice I made. I'm glad I had the choice to make.

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[Guest 1010]

To be accurate, a stay at home mom is not unemployed - she is not actively LOOKING for work, thus not considered "unemployed". Economics 101 anyone?

so do you let the government define all your words for you? Econ 101 is buy low, sell high. All else is superfluous.

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[misskriss 0]

I completely agree with you. I think the last thing we need is women bashing each other for our individual choices. I completely admire women who work outside the home as well. I was responding to the post that if your kids are in school and you aren't employed then you are just sitting around all day watching Dr. Phil and Oprah or posting on dz.com. (which I do sometimes.. )


Some days I don't sit down all day. Sometimes I do sit all day. Life isn't scripted.


When I mentioned that growing up in daycare sucked that was just my personal experience. My mother had no other choice. She had to work and I went to daycare before school, afterschool, every schoolbreak including summer. I missed her.

It's all about balance and moderation... isn't that true for everything?

[bobsled92 0]

Some days I don't sit down all day. Sometimes I do sit all day. Life isn't scripted.


When I mentioned that growing up in daycare sucked that was just my personal experience. My mother had no other choice. She had to work and I went to daycare before school, afterschool, every schoolbreak including summer. I missed her.

***Growing up in a day care, then baby sat until old enough to go about my own= SUCKED.
I was close to DAD & foreign to Mom.
I do everything I can so that my wife can be a full time Mom & get breaks with pre-school 2x's a week
We go on "dates" & daughter's home from college doesn't mean "free babysitter". Little guy & I do our thing during "girls night out" & "sister's to the beach".
She works hard so I have to be fair.
**she says when he's in school full time=she wants a job. I wonder about Summer time. The idea of us working 2 different shifts, seems similar to being "legally separated".

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[Lindsey 0]

***Growing up in a day care, then baby sat until old enough to go about my own= SUCKED.

Then maybe your parents didn't work too hard to make sure your situation was a good one for you.

You not being happy in your situation growing up does not equate with "mothers shouldn't work."

**she says when he's in school full time=she wants a job. I wonder about Summer time.

A whole LOT of moms here work for the schools, so they're off in the summers. That's a pretty nice deal for them. But y'all have probably already thought of that.

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[godfrog 2]

I for one am a believer in womens lib, I would love to stay home and take care of the kids, clean house, cook dinner etc. I wanna be a full time house huband and send my wife off to work every day! I mean fair is fair, right. why should I spend my whole life bustin my ass.

Experience is a difficult teacher, she gives you the test first and the lesson afterward

[bobsled92 0]

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***Growing up in a day care, then baby sat until old enough to go about my own= SUCKED.

Then maybe your parents didn't work too hard to make sure your situation was a good one for you.

You not being happy in your situation growing up does not equate with "mothers shouldn't work."

**she says when he's in school full time=she wants a job. I wonder about Summer time.

A whole LOT of moms here work for the schools, so they're off in the summers. That's a pretty nice deal for them. But y'all have probably already thought of that.

linz

yep, wife wants to drive bus (seriously)
Honestly..I want everything for my kids and my wife.
My wife is the one that wants to go back to work and I'm the one that trying to over compensate.

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[BannanaGirl 0]

I have not read the whole of this thread but I want to put my 2p's worth in on this subject.

I work full time and I have a young pre-school child. I did the stay at home thing for 6 months and then went back to work as I had to. Childcare costs an obscene amount of money in my area and if I was on a lower paid job I simply could not afford to send her to the sessions I do. A lot of mums are faced with this issue and hence it is actually ecconomically sensible for them to stay at home until pre-school grants etc are issued and the cost of care is reduced.

I am fortunate as my kiddies father looks after her sometimes as he has a shift system he works in his job, so my child spends lots of time with daddy.

However I do feel it frequently, the "am I a good mum syndrome?" as I am so tired after work sometimes and I have very little time (or energy to be truthful) to spend with her, I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing. I would love to do what some of my friends do and spend a morning painting and making things together...something I just do not seem to do enough of. Consequently I feel a failure at times and a very underachieving mum.

I look all respectable in my suit going off to work in the mornings, but I do wonder if the stay at home mummies kids end up better off in the long run. Sometimes I do feel like a foreigner dropping in for a visit in my own home at times.

Being a good parent is a hard job and requires a lot of patience and inspirtation, something I am rapidly losing the skill of owning. I take my hat off to stay at home parents that use that time to enrich the childs quality of life. Yes there are those who abuse the system and in your job I guess you see them a lot, but they are still a minority.

Dix

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[champu 1]

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I for one am a believer in womens lib, I would love to stay home and take care of the kids, clean house, cook dinner etc. I wanna be a full time house huband and send my wife off to work every day! I mean fair is fair, right. why should I spend my whole life bustin my ass.

"The grass is always greener on the other side."

Men would love to get away from the stress of office work and spend their time raising the kids. Meanwhile, women would like to get away from stress of raising kids and spend their time in the office.

[Sky15 0]

Had to laugh when I read this post and loved the reply...i'd give this person who thinks he's "bustin' his ass" outside the home ONE WEEK as a SAHD and watch him then beg to get back to work outside the home again. I've seen this happen to my husband anytime he's had time off or even after a weekend. Of course we have two small children and one has special needs so our situation is pretty stressful some days.

I am a "full time mother" and for me this also includes taking my disabled child to therapy twice weekly and to preschool five mornings a week, while also caring for my 3 year old. I worked outside the home from age 12 until age 30 when I had my first child, and did many different jobs. I also attended college full time and did some graduate work (after kids that had to go, no time!). Being an at-home mom is the most difficult job in the world IMO. And if you ask most women who have had the privelege of also working outside jobs and having some time as a SAHM, most will tell you the office job was the easiest by far. Not to mention the lovely recognition, sick days off, I could go on.

Thanks to all here who do respect moms who do stay at home, as well as moms that work outside the home.

[rehmwa 2]

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Had to laugh when I read this post and loved the reply...i'd give this person who thinks he's "bustin' his ass" outside the home ONE WEEK as a SAHD and watch him then beg to get back to work outside the home again.

This is really a cliche response that doesn't give credit that any job can be demanding and it's more of a "which person fits more comfortably into each role" rather than the trite generalization of "it's not easy being a SAHD"

Your response actually supports the original's poster of the SAHM whining. But that really means it's a true vocation, as everybody in every job whines about it.

Maybe in his case, he'd effortlessly shine in the stay at home role and the wife would absolutely shine in the business world. {{And wouldn't that also be best for the kids???? that's what matters most. Not keeping the gender roles stereotyped such that both parents aren't satisfied with their lot}}

Only one way to find out.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Sky15 0]

No whining here, just stating the fact that it isn't an easy job, and obviously that poster assumes it is, implying that he would not be bustin' his ass if he were to stay at home.

Your point is well taken about generalizations, and he might make a great SAHD, but I do believe once he realizes how false his idea was (assuming one to be an effective parent rather than doing as little as possible) he might prefer to go back working outside the home. His apparent motivation for staying home it b/c he thinks it's not hard work.

I imagine it's like attempting to describe skydiving to a whuffo. Until you are a stay at home parent, you just can't really get it.

[godfrog 2]

Naw, I dont think its a peice of cake job but it is a rewarding to me. I have had a few opportunities to be at home and take care of the kids, even volunteer at school, but, my job keeps me away from home for 15 days and I then get 6 off in which I spend travel time getting back home. I dont have an office job and the work I do is very physically demanding and I contract so I get paid only for what gets done. stay at home, hell yeah!

Experience is a difficult teacher, she gives you the test first and the lesson afterward

[rehmwa 2]

It's hard out here for a SAHD
trying to make the money for the rent
It's hard out here for a SAHM
keeping yo bitches in line and paying for the bills
It's hard out here for a SAHD
something, something, something

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Sky15 0]

Sounds like you work awfully hard traveling, etc. I'm sure a change would be nice for a while. Sounds like it would not be harder physcially, just other aspects (lack of adult conversation, etc.) From your earlier post it did sound like you were clueless/disallusioned. Of course like any job, once in a while is quite different than everyday.

That's great you help out when you are home. Because with you gone that much, your wife has an EXTRA tough job. I bow to all single parents and those with frequently traveling spouses, the few times my husband travels I am counting the days and hours until he's home..
Must be tough to be away from your family so much, too.

[godfrog 2]

Well I thankyou and yes it is difficult. I am hoping that this will be my last job away from home and then I can take a normal job m-f, 8-4:30

Experience is a difficult teacher, she gives you the test first and the lesson afterward

[rehmwa 2]

Disclaimer at the bottom of this post
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=2146637#2146637

It's the least you can do after exploiting a good woman and enslaving her in your sex/reproduction pit. She could have had a nice lesbian professional life if the typical patriarchal male dominance role model hadn't been indoctrinated you both at such young ages.

Oh when will someone think of the children. Enlightenment is just 'opening the mind'. Ahhhmmmmmmm ahhhhmmmmmm

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants