rhino 0 #1 February 18, 2005 My wife has known "a guy friend" since she was a toddler. About 15 years ago they had an "attempted" romance which supposedly never got to second base or past a kiss. She has been signing emails to him LY Ang. Some even Love You.. This fucknut lives on the other side of the country, he is married yet she thinks it is COMPLETELY acceptable behavior to tell another man "that even the most remote" attempt at a romance happened with, Love You.. To me it isn't acceptable. AT ALL. And if I catch her ass doing it again no matter how fucking rediculous she thinks I am being I will be a damned bachelor. She will read this and I don't give a damn. She should have enough respect for me to understand and correct behavior like that.. Do you think it is O.K.? Or NOT O.K. for her to be doing this? Rhino Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
br0k3n 0 #2 February 18, 2005 If you are secure in your relationship and trust your partner then I don't see any issue what so ever. My girlfriend often signs cards etc with "love you", its just her way of being nice...----------------------------------------------------------- --+ There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.. --+ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydyvr 0 #3 February 18, 2005 No way. It's inconsiderate and disrespectful. . . =(_8^(1) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #4 February 18, 2005 Yes, I think it's probably OK and innocent, unless there is some other indication that it is not. Women are usually more free with expressions of affection to friends than men are. Telling friends "love ya" isn't that big a deal. It can be a way to say "your friendship means a lot to me". If you trust her, you're totally over-reacting. If you don't trust her, this is the least of your problems. Also, you should be talking to her, not us. You talk about her needing to "have enough respect" for you, but are you really respecting her when you drag your marital problems out on to a public forum? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #5 February 18, 2005 QuoteIf you are secure in your relationship and trust your partner then I don't see any issue what so ever. It is an appropriate or not appropriate thing.. I don't feel it is appropriate AT ALL. Especially considering the "attempted" romance... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #6 February 18, 2005 Nope. That's not cool at all. Even if she's just doing it in a friendly manner. One thing usually leads to another (no matter how strong you think you are) and actions like hers, however innocent the intent may in fact be (right now), are dangerous when it comes to relationships. The focus should be on you and not some other guy (even if she has known him her whole life). Good luck and keep your guard up. By the way, that would be true for you or me also. It's not a double standard thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #7 February 18, 2005 QuoteAlso, you should be talking to her, not us. You talk about her needing to "have enough respect" for you, but are you really respecting her when you drag your marital problems out on to a public forum? fyi.. I've taalked to her again and again about this.. Today even.. And told her I would post it here to see the reactions.. She said to go ahead... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #8 February 18, 2005 QuoteNope. That's not cool at all. Even if she's just doing it in a friendly manner. One thing usually leads to another (no matter how strong you think you are) and actions like hers, however innocent the intent may in fact be (right now), are dangerous when it comes to relationships. The focus should be on you and not some other guy (even if she has known him her whole life). Good luck and keep your guard up. The ladies can learn something about men in this thread,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydyvr 0 #9 February 18, 2005 QuoteYes, I think it's probably OK and innocent, unless there is some other indication that it is not. . The indication is that his wife has a prior relationship with the guy. QuoteYou talk about her needing to "have enough respect" for you, but are you really respecting her when you drag your marital problems out on to a public forum? But this is an irrefutabley great point. Mutual disrespect. . . =(_8^(1) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #10 February 18, 2005 QuoteBut this is a refutabley great point. Mutual disrespect. I am not that kind of guy.. Like I said she knows this has been posted. She gave me permission. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydyvr 0 #11 February 18, 2005 QuoteQuoteBut this is a refutabley great point. Mutual disrespect. I am not that kind of guy.. Like I said she knows this has been posted. She gave me permission. I see, but it still seems out of bounds. Your relationship though. . . =(_8^(1) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
br0k3n 0 #12 February 18, 2005 QuoteNope. That's not cool at all. Even if she's just doing it in a friendly manner. One thing usually leads to another (no matter how strong you think you are) and actions like hers, however innocent the intent may in fact be (right now), are dangerous when it comes to relationships. The focus should be on you and not some other guy (even if she has known him her whole life). Good luck and keep your guard up. By the way, that would be true for you or me also. It's not a double standard thing. dude you seem like one seriously paraniod person.. or have you expereince of a realtionship where your partner would sign off emails/card etc with "love you", which led to him/her leaving you for that person???? One thind does NOT always lead to another.....----------------------------------------------------------- --+ There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.. --+ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #13 February 18, 2005 Calm down, Rhino! I have a ton of guy friends that I tell them I love them. It's in no way sexual, and I don't want it to become sexual nor will it become sexual. I love who they are and the fact they are my friends. Just because the guy happens to be an "attempted romance" doesn't mean that she's going after him and loving him in a sexual manner. One of my guy friends is an ex-boyfriend who I've told him that I love him - again in a non-sexual way. And this ex that I'm talking about is not someone I'd go back with - and he's moving in with his current girlfriend as well - so even saying "I love you" to him is in no way a threat to his girlfriend nor does it mean "come get me baby," and he knows that. It comes down to trust - and you're obviously having an issue with it with your wife. I have to ask.... How'd you find out that she's signing her emails "LY" or "Love you?"Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanpilot 0 #14 February 18, 2005 QuoteDo you think it is O.K.? Short answer: Yes. It can be a hard pill to swallow, but jealousy is a total waste of energy dude. If your own house is in order, you have nothing to worry about. If she wanted to fuck him, you would probably know it._________________________________________ -There's always free cheese in a mouse trap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
br0k3n 0 #15 February 18, 2005 QuoteCalm down, Rhino! I have a ton of guy friends that I tell them I love them. It's in no way sexual, and I don't want it to become sexual nor will it become sexual. I love who they are and the fact they are my friends. Just because the guy happens to be an "attempted romance" doesn't mean that she's going after him and loving him in a sexual manner. One of my guy friends is an ex-boyfriend who I've told him that I love him - again in a non-sexual way. And this ex that I'm talking about is not someone I'd go back with - and he's moving in with his current girlfriend as well - so even saying "I love you" to him is in no way a threat to his girlfriend nor does it mean "come get me baby," and he knows that. It comes down to trust - and you're obviously having an issue with it with your wife. You sound like my girlfriend she's always telling her close friends she loves them, and im sure she does, but in a different way to the way she loves me... I agree i comes down to trust, bottom line.....----------------------------------------------------------- --+ There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.. --+ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #16 February 18, 2005 If you trusted her, it wouldn't be an issue, because you would know for certain that she is in love with you, and loves her friend like a FRIEND. And I really do wonder, why were you reading her email in the first place?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #17 February 18, 2005 QuoteHow'd you find out that she's signing her emails "LY" or "Love you?" I could name 10 ways one could find out. Only 3 of them would be considered snooping.. I like the practice of human engineering. IT works.. ALL the time.. Hackers do it to get information from companies.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rmsmith 1 #18 February 18, 2005 Remember that living on half of half is 25%! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
br0k3n 0 #19 February 18, 2005 QuoteQuoteHow'd you find out that she's signing her emails "LY" or "Love you?" I could name 10 ways one could find out. Only 3 of them would be considered snooping.. I like the practice of human engineering. IT works.. ALL the time.. Hackers do it to get information from companies.. OH MY GOD, dude you have issues, if you using Social Engineering techniques on you wife then I think the picture is clear….. YOU DON’T TRUST HER…. So the question now becomes, Why don’t you trust her????----------------------------------------------------------- --+ There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.. --+ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #20 February 18, 2005 Quotejealousy is a total waste of energy dude It isn't about that.. It is my belief.. My standard.. Who I am... I don't believe it is right. I stand up for what I believe in.. That's why I became a Marine. That's why the only brawls I've been in have been defending women in the last 10 years.. I stand by my belief.. It's mine.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #21 February 18, 2005 QuoteAnd I really do wonder, why were you reading her email in the first place?? We have total access to each others email and bank accounts.. Almost total.. Sometimes she lets me in.. She can allways get into my email as it isn't password protected. Things shouldn't be hidden in a marriage.. email is just communication.,. not a personal diary. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #22 February 18, 2005 QuoteQuoteHow'd you find out that she's signing her emails "LY" or "Love you?" I could name 10 ways one could find out. Only 3 of them would be considered snooping.. I like the practice of human engineering. IT works.. ALL the time.. Hackers do it to get information from companies.. Don't try the semantics BS with me, Rhino. I'm in IT and know quite well that what you're saying is that you got into her email WITHOUT HER PERMISSION. You have serious issues. You don't trust your wife otherwise you wouldn't be snooping. So the question is...why would you feel the need to snoop? Usually when a man starts doing things like this, it's because they are the ones that are doing something they should not be or are feeling guilty about something.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pajarito 0 #23 February 18, 2005 QuoteOne thind does NOT always lead to another..... You're right. I'm only saying that if you play with fire, you might get burned. If marriage was taken more seriously these days, there probably wouldn't be such a high rate of divorce. I've seen plenty "innocent" relationships between people get out of hand and the marriage suffers. Nightingale is also right in that there must be trust. However, people are flawed (even your best friend, wife, or husband) and they'll let you down in some way at some point in time. The best option, IMO, is to play it conservative and not put yourself in compromising situations (even if it's something as simple as signing "love you" to the end of an e-mail. Just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth. Or don't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #24 February 18, 2005 QuoteWhy don’t you trust her???? That is between her and I.. In ways I do and in ways I don't.. She knows what I am talking about.. Events do transpire in our lives that should be kept personal.. Those will.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #25 February 18, 2005 QuoteI'm in IT and know quite well that what you're saying is that you got into her email WITHOUT HER PERMISSION. Assumptions are like assholes.. We all have them and they smell like shit... Don't assume... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
