wingnut 0 #2 June 23, 2001 i think he might of been instutunalized!!! i think he lost his meds and went crazy!!!!!!! iona had him comited....actually i was wondering the same thing myself the other day...he has been gone a long time!!!"if dreams are like movies, then memories are like films about ghosts"-counting crows Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DZBone 0 #3 June 23, 2001 He has been neutralized by the vast left-wing conspiracy.BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #4 June 23, 2001 Hello again (at last!!!)What can I say... F***ing computer viruses (virusi, virii ??). It seems I lost about a month of my life between anto-virus programs, formatting... & ultimately F Discing this bloody box!Needless to say, my initial anti-virus method, which consisted of waiting for a moonless night & sacrificing a cloven hooved animal didn't work... It would have done, except the sacrifice sort of went unnoticed among all the foot & mouth barbecues!Anyway, I'm back - and can I just say how delighted, even humbled I am to find I've been missed (& that's with my serious head on). Thanks everyone.Right, enough of that, time for some more "clinical sanity" (BTW... still to sort out my favourite emoticons). As all of you may gather, rumours of my lack of madness ARE exaggerated. I'm still fine, as is Iona, and the Dog continues to sleep soundly.I was thinking of another visit to the US, but what with the state of the £ to the $US, plus of course the fact that I had considered invading Texas armed with Full Metal Jacket... Well, actually a popgun loaded with "full stringed cork" (hey, this is the (Y)UK... You gotta go with what's still legal over here), I thought it might be safer to wait until more texans have forgotten about me... Shouldn't take long....Anyway, bye for now, gotta get the rest of my (cyber) life back together.Mike D10270. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #5 June 23, 2001 QuoteI thought it might be safer to wait until more texans have forgotten about me...Nice thought. But we don't forget. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #6 June 24, 2001 Hi Jessica,"Nice thought, but Texans don't forget".Interesting concept... Does this mean that Texans actually know things and so don't forget them? Or do you subscribe to the commonly held opinion about Texans?Anyway, I have the advantage in that I know where all you Texans live... Errr.... Texas!!!? All we've gotta do now is get some extra hard corks for our popguns! Oh... And some extra long bits of string... Or maybe even some elastic so we gan reload faster!Oh BTW, just a short note for those of you who are neither Scots or Texans, the antipathy between Texans, the inhabitants of Texas (that bit of Mexico even the Mexicans didn't want) and the Heroic, Intelligent wonderful and MODEST Scots basically stems from the habits of Scotland (the country) and Texas (NOT a country). The Scots national dress is the Kilt, a sort of woolen skirt, and Texans tend to shoot on sight anything even resembling a transvestite!!! As such, one can easily see how poor lighting, combined with those eyesight defects common in Texans (or any grossly inbred community) can cause misunderstandings with serious consequences.Mike D10270. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skreamer 1 #7 June 24, 2001 Quoteeyesight defects common in Texans (or any grossly inbred community) LMFAOShoots, he scores!!!"Blue Screens Black Coffee" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #9 June 25, 2001 Mikey !You've definitely been missed.......thanks for the Monday morning laughs !The PLF King Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #10 June 26, 2001 QuoteI think we have all missed your imput or is that your output?Speak for yourself. Just kiddin'. I do so love being your straight man, Mike. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeekStreak 0 #11 June 27, 2001 QuoteScotland (the country) and Texas (NOT a country)a.k.a. Scotland (the mossy rock near those other mossy rocks) and Texas (the blessed republic of).We know why you wear those skirts. It's so you don't get caught with your pants down when yer F*&^ing all those sheep!Now you leave my Texas alone! 1111,GeekStreakAnd another thing. I had always heard that VD was a sheep disease that was "accidentally" introduced to humans. THANKS A LOT !!1111,GeekStreakEdited by GeekStreak on 6/26/01 05:10 PM. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #12 June 27, 2001 Yeah, what Geek said !You know, there WAS a reason the colonists didn't want to be associated with the Brits, and it didn't have anything to do with "taxation without representation"......they simply had no interest in diddling sheep !The PLF Prime Minister Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #13 June 27, 2001 Quotethey simply had no interest in diddling sheep This antipathy towards sheep is just because Texans prefer.... cattle? The dominant local animal where I live is politicians, and sadly, they just screw us all.Justin"If it can't kill you, it isn't worth doing." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeekStreak 0 #14 June 27, 2001 QuoteThis antipathy towards sheep is just because Texans prefer.... cattle?We prefer those pretty Texas girls that speak with a sweet Texas twang! God blessed Texas with his own hand and brought down angels from the promised land. He gave 'em a place where they could dance... If ya wanna see heaven, brother, here's your chance. I've been sent to spread the message...GOD BLESSED TEXAS!!Justin, I know where you live and you can call it Maryland all day long and it's still gonna be dirty old DC. Yuck!1111,GeekStreak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #15 June 27, 2001 Hi there,"We prefer those pretty Texas Girls with that sweet Texas Twang"Yeah... Right... and let's not forget their liquid brown eyes and gently swishing tail? I assume that the "Sweet Texas Twang" is the sound made by the barbed wire breaking as they escape from their field!No, fair's fair, I have seen some spectacular sights in Texas... The early morning sun glinting through the pink & green clouds over the chemical works... & let's not forget that old Texas weather saying - "Red Sky at night... The refinery's alight".Finally, a quote from General Sherman (by the way, he didn't invent shirts) - "If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell".Mike D10270.PS. This post seems to have too many long words for the average texan but if someone from Alabama could perhaps translate for them... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #16 June 27, 2001 QuoteYeah... Right... and let's not forget their liquid brown eyes and gently swishing tail? I assume that the "Sweet Texas Twang" is the sound made by the barbed wire breaking as they escape from their field!My head hurts...I don't know whether to laugh my ass off or be indignant at this.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #17 June 27, 2001 QuoteThe dominant local animal where I live is politicians, and sadly, they just screw us all. jt, what can I say......this is classic ! If it wasn't such a long sentence, I'd tattoo it where it really belongs -- on my dingus !.....(gets out ruler and measures).."Oh, wait...it WILL fit !"Quote... and let's not forget their liquid brown eyes and gently swishing tail? I assume that the "Sweet Texas Twang" is the sound made by the barbed wire breaking as they escape from their field!Okay, now.......no need to bring OUR defenseless cows into this, just because you Brits can't seem to manage your own bovine's sanitary habits.........QuotePS. This post seems to have too many long words for the average texan but if someone from Alabama could perhaps translate for them...Careful now !.....(I personally believe that both Sis and Jess are AT LEAST as smart as your average Alabaman......)The PLF Czar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeekStreak 0 #18 June 27, 2001 QuoteYeah... Right... and let's not forget their liquid brown eyes and gently swishing tail? I assume that the "Sweet Texas Twang" is the sound made by the barbed wire breaking as they escape from their field!No, no. You're confused again. You Scotch can keep all the four legged ones. I was referring to women, you know, the ones that look like yer mum right after she's been sheared.I do know you are not scotch. Scotch is good. I just wanted to see if I could hear your blood boiling from across the pond.QuoteThis post seems to have too many long words for the average texan but if someone from Alabama could perhaps translate for them...All the Scotts I've met couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel! In fact I bet if you collected all the brains in Scottland and shoved 'em up a gnats ass they would roll around like BB's in a boxcar!1111,GeekStreak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #19 June 27, 2001 I agree with Geek....SCOTCH is good. Give me Johnnie Walker anytime. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RemiAndKaren 0 #20 June 28, 2001 Johnnie Walker!!!! Granted,I've never wnated to waste the money for a Blue or Gold Label, but come on!!!!!! There's so many AWESOME single malts out there!I'm sorry... cant stand blends.....RemiAnd PS: the Scotts arent so bad with sheep! you should chech our the Welsh for that!! lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #21 June 28, 2001 OK MikeD:First of all, I've never been to Texas, but I've met women from there, and there seem to be LOTS of beautiful women in Texas (some of 'em are on this forum!) I used to date a Texas woman, and she was HOT! If we were out at a club & I went to the men's room, by the time I got back there'd often be a guy trying to hit on her.Anyway, here's a joke about Scotland: What's the difference between Rolling Stones music and Scottish music?Rolling Stones music has lyrics like: "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"Scottish music has lyrics like: "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"Speed Racer"De plaene!! De plaene!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeekStreak 0 #22 June 28, 2001 QuoteWhat's the difference between Rolling Stones music and Scottish music?Rolling Stones music has lyrics like: "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"Scottish music has lyrics like: "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! [fell off chair] BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! [tears forming] BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! [side ache benigging] BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! BWAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!!!! 1111,GeekStreak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freaksister 0 #23 June 28, 2001 Ok, I finally had time to read this thread...and I am LMFAO!! heheSpectre...I live in the Panhandle, and YES it does smell sometimes...but not all the time! The worst thing about it is no dropzones! As for the rest of Texas...it is a beautiful state and Texans don't fuck cows! Texas girls have lovely voices...just ask a few of the guys on here who have heard me talk! Jess...we gotta stand up for Texas females! Men in Texas don't have to use cattle, they have girls like us to keep them warm at night, right?!Sis (I missed you too, Mike...glad you are back!) It isn't brave if you aren't scared... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeekStreak 0 #24 June 28, 2001 I was wondering when/if you would chime-in, Sis. This thread is making me homesick .1111,GeekStreak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #25 June 28, 2001 Quote...and there seem to be LOTS of beautiful women in Texas (some of 'em are on this forum!)Speedy, you are so cool. I have a crush on you. QuoteJess...we gotta stand up for Texas females! Men in Texas don't have to use cattle, they have girls like us to keep them warm at night, right?!Sis, I can honestly say that lips that touch cows will never touch mine. Nor any other body part.But no, I don't think any Texan male need resort to bovine company. We're hotties of the very first degree. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
