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skydivingfool

Stories of work related stupidity

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Here’s mine anyone else have one they want to share

As part of my group jobs sit on the safety committee at work. Today we had what we call a near hit incident report. Near hits are reported when possible dangerous situations arise and need to be addressed. Today’s near hit made me think this employee would be a future Darwin award recipient.

We have two types of automatic doors, one opens fast the other opens slow. Both have triggers about 5 feet away from the door and the doors in question are located about 100 yards apart. The employee triggered and walked through the fast opening doors with no problem. The second set of doors he hit the trigger and proceeded to walk smack into the doors because, in his words “they didn’t open fast enough”.

I am thinking o.k. First how stupid do you have to be to walk from the trigger into the door? Second, how stupid do you have to be to actually report it? Third, why is the company considering spending 30,000 dollars to make sure that all doors open at the same speed?

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Spend $10, buy an axe handle. When something like this comes up again, just hit the person in question with an axe handle for being an idiot. The problem will solve its self.



***
As Jeff Foxworthy says..

"Here's your sign!" ;)










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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I mentioned this a few years ago on the forums but it's still a good story. Some girl at my company tried to file a workmans comp claim for her pregnancy. She was involved in a 3way that took place during work time on work property so she claimed it was indeed workmans comp. What a surprise when the claim got denied and all 3 were fired.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

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East County San Diego...2 A.M.
Aerospace manufacturing company, 15 yeas ago;

I was the head of the company's Emergency Response Team...
We dealt mostly with the handling of Hazardous Materials...

The place was full of all kinds of acids
( 20 tanks...10 to 20,000 gallons each)
And specialized manufacturing machinery
to work exotic materials.

The local Fire Department would never enter the
property until I or one of my team conferred with them EXACTLY what the situation was..
MSDS in hand.


One night I had to evac an entire building...
and with another ERT member was attempting to put
out a Titanium dust fire that was continuing to burn
within the enclosed area of a 'secret' machine.

'Ti' fires are tough anyway...
and this one was really fine dust that collected in
tiny spaces within this multimillion dollar machine...

Clouds of toxic smoke fill this enormous structure...
Fire department is staged around the building permitter
in the event the structure starts to go,
but will not enter at this time.

We're having all kinds of problems with 'hot spots' etc...
I'm in Kevlar...Scott breather on my back, on my 4th
bottle of O2...wormed 1/2 way INTO this machine...

Hot and Grumpy to say the least!

When arriving to 'Take Command' of the emergency,
our new company CEO and a pinhead cohort,
demand and receive clearance to enter...

Walking up to the machine, no life support gear on..
saying;
"Here..just blow the dust OUT!"
and hit a lever flooding the internal area
(where I'm in waist deep)
with PURE OXYGEN! :o:o:o

I believe I actually got about 4 seconds of freefall
before I bounced off the far wall! :S

Hummm. ;)
They were sure really nice to me for MONTHS after that one!










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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A guy here got an email that said that the previous e-mail he had forwarded to evertyone else was infected with some virus and he should go and delete all the "win.ini" and the "sys.ini" files, and restart the computer.

So he did.

Thing is, he never waited to see what would happen after the first one was done, he just went in and did it to EVERY computer.



We pretty much had the day off after that.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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