Vlad 0 #51 October 30, 2003 Quote the second example is a partner trying to control you. Completely disagree with that. Skydiving is a dangerous sport (do not try to convince me otherwise - I'm not a whuffo). And it is right for a loving person to worry about their SO. I also disagree with all the "cutaway" bullshit. It is good for stupid movies, but in real life you need to find compromises... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #52 October 30, 2003 martial arts isn't something I can compromise on. period. I compete on the international level. That requires a lot of skill, and a lot of training to stay on top of my game. I can't blow off something I've worked for for almost 15 years because it makes a significant other uncomfortable. If they don't give me the freedom to be who I am, buh-bye. There are many things I will bend on. martial arts isnt' one. skydiving isn't one. if someone is asking you to compromise something that is a HUGE part of who you are, then they don't respect you as much as they should. I have always believed that I am better off alone than with the wrong person. the people I date don't have to be martial artists (or skydivers)...they just have to accept that I am. They don't have to come to the studio with me (but showing up at the international championships is nice, but yet again, not required), they just have to give me the freedom to go, and understand that I always go out of my way to make time for the relationship too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vdschoor 0 #53 October 30, 2003 QuoteQuote the second example is a partner trying to control you. Completely disagree with that. Skydiving is a dangerous sport (do not try to convince me otherwise - I'm not a whuffo). And it is right for a loving person to worry about their SO. I also disagree with all the "cutaway" bullshit. It is good for stupid movies, but in real life you need to find compromises... I disagree a little bit with you here, I do believe in skydiver-whuffo relationships. The only thing that is important is that people respect each other, and that people can continue to do their thing. If my GF would tell me to stop skydiving, it would become a different story, in that case it is going to be the cutaway procedure, but if she is just worried about me, that's just because she cares for me I would think, there are significant dangers to our sport so there is a valid point in beeing worried. My mom used to be really worried and scared when I went out. She is still worried, and tells me to be carefull, but she respects me and realizes how important this sport has become for me. That's how a SO should be too.. worried, but respectfull. The important thing is that you SO should not be sitting at home waiting for you, because that is going to cause major issues (been there done that, and ended up in cutaway). There is too much thinking and worrying going on then. They start calling you on your cellphone, you don't answer because you're jumping, they start thinking more.. what if something happened.. and it just gets worse from there on. Just my 2 cts.. Iwan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #54 October 30, 2003 there's a difference between someone saying "please be careful up there...I'll be afraid for you til you're back safe on the ground." and saying "don't go! It makes me worry!" its when they use their "worry" to control you and tell you not to go do something you love...that's when it becomes a problem. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bkdice 0 #55 October 30, 2003 QuoteI've noticed that I've never been this happy and positive Funny thing that *someone* told me before I broke up with me ex. This person told me that one of the resentments my ex had towards my skydiving, is that it made me so happy. Skydivng made me smile and glow in a way he couldn't, and he couldn't stand that. Skydiving has changed my life (and many others) in a lot of ways. For me, the changes have all been positive. Well, aside from the effects on the bank account. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #56 October 30, 2003 One question, and this could easily sum it up. Are you actually considering leaving him? If so, then there's obviously enough reason to leave. If not, then you'll just have to work it out with him. It's a simple as that. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #57 October 30, 2003 QuoteOne question, and this could easily sum it up. Are you actually considering leaving him? If so, then there's obviously enough reason to leave. If not, then you'll just have to work it out with him. It's a simple as that. Where's the drama in that? Gheese! Make it all cut and dry, why don't you? You are right though.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #58 October 30, 2003 Holy CARP (the fish)! This really doesn't get any easier. Do what makes you happy, not in the short term, but in the long term. Life is too short to be unhappy. Whether it's hobbies or hubbies (for you), do what makes you happy.Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #59 October 30, 2003 Exactly what happened when I was in AFF L1 last weekend. My cell phone had 5 missed calls from the SO because he thought I'd only be there for a few hours, even though I told him it was an all day class. I left the cell in the car to not be distracted. At a break,I called to give him peace of mind that I was okay and he asked why I couldn't just leave and finish the class another time..like Spring or NEVER. I said absolutely not and had to get back to my class. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #60 October 30, 2003 You guys are killin' me! I love how everyone razzes each other. This is better than counseling! I've never felt "the Love" quite like this before..We're just one big happy family, aren't we now? Thanks for the support! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #61 October 30, 2003 More than I give credit for.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RippedCord 0 #62 March 26, 2004 How did this ever resolve? AMDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #63 March 26, 2004 QuoteHow did this ever resolve? When I saw this resurface, I thought "oh no!"..it resolved itself. We are divorced and believe me, it was because of much more than me jumping from planes. I realize now in hindsight that I went to the dz every weekend to escape and from having to deal with our problems..then over the holidays, I had no choice but to face it head on. I did, and here I am...a lot happier!Now, all I need to do is get to FL and I'll be even better. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #64 March 26, 2004 nm, I should read the whole thread before posting next time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
