eeneR 1 #1 April 13, 2004 This is an excerpt from a book called "Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz.... This is very very interesting to think about.... In order to protect our emotional wounds, and because of our fear of being hurt, humans create something very sophisticated in the mind: A big denial system. In that denial system we become the perfect liars. We lie so perfectly that we lie to ourselves and we even believe our own lies. We don't even notice we are lying, and sometimes even when we know we are lying, we justify the lie and excuse the lie to protect ourselves from the pain of our wounds The denial system is like a wall of fog in front of our eyes that blinds us from seeing the truth. We wear a social mask because it's too painful to see ourselves or let others see who we really are. And the denial system lets us pretend that everyone believes what we want them to believe about us. We put up these barriers for protection, ot keep other people out, but these barriers also keep us inside, restricting our freedom. Humans cover themselves, and protect themselves, and when someone says "You are pushing my buttons." it is not exactly true. What is true is that you are touching a wound in his mind and he reacts because it hurts. It is amazing how each of us has our own reality...and sometimes how we make thing seem like they are one thing, but yet the truth is that is really not true....it is all lies to ourselves and those around us. At some point in our lives we have all done this...made ourselves believe that something was this or that, when we really knew that it wasnt true...we just really wanted to believe that, living in our own dream. edit: for misspellingShe is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #2 April 13, 2004 Very thought provoking.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieDoug 0 #3 April 13, 2004 In various situations -- business, social, personal -- I have found myself thinking "How can this person be so completely deluding themselves?" It makes me wonder -- what am I deluding myself about? Truth is, I'm not really sure I want to know. (Ignorance really is bliss sometimes.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #4 April 13, 2004 That was amazing . . . it really made me think about how real I am with myself. Sometimes it seems others can perceive who we really are better than we can ourselves. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #5 April 13, 2004 That hit it right on. I do lie to myself and i know i've been in denial about things...hell i'm prolly in denial now. The human mind is truly amazing. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TF107 0 #6 April 13, 2004 You're right, we do each have our own reality. I think that is the basis for most if not all misunderstandings between people. The same words, the same "truths" resonate differently with each person's vision of reality. On the purely physical level most people's reality is more or less the same. I'm pretty sure that blue for me is blue for you. But if you get into the fuzzy world of emotions and the more complex thoughts and beliefs that do not have a physical anchor, then the need for communication with others and honesty with self become so much more important. The problem is, the people who are the deepest in denial and most in need of outside help to face and accept the truths that they are hiding from are the least likely to seek out that help... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #7 April 13, 2004 I have that book and love it... I should reread it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wendybird 0 #8 April 13, 2004 QuoteYou're right, we do each have our own reality. I think that is the basis for most if not all misunderstandings between people. The same words, the same "truths" resonate differently with each person's vision of reality. On the purely physical level most people's reality is more or less the same. I'm pretty sure that blue for me is blue for you. But if you get into the fuzzy world of emotions and the more complex thoughts and beliefs that do not have a physical anchor, then the need for communication with others and honesty with self become so much more important. The problem is, the people who are the deepest in denial and most in need of outside help to face and accept the truths that they are hiding from are the least likely to seek out that help... Touche. Especially the last bit. They also tend to be the people that make the most noise to draw attention to themselves to distract from the real issues. If you can create a flash fire in the kitchen you can ignore the flood in the basement. Unfortunately the smoke eventually clears and you're left with a mess.Wendy "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used u Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TF107 0 #9 April 14, 2004 I think that either extreme can exemplify the worst denial in an individual. Some distract themselves and others by drawing attention to superficial things rather than dealing with real issues. Others withdraw, ignoring the problems and hoping that others will as well. The important thing is whether or not at the end of the day they recognize the need for help and seek it out in some form: self-reflection, friends, family, therapy. All we can do is try to be aware of our own tendencies for denial and support our friends and family as they do the same. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #10 April 14, 2004 QuoteThey also tend to be the people that make the most noise to draw attention to themselves to distract from the real issues. Oh like announcing you are getting married after only dating for a short time? (best wishes on the wedding BTW) In all reality the human mind will play as many tricks on itself as a defense mechinism as possible. It can forget or cover up painful memories, it can keep only the most memerable or enjoyable memories at the top for frequent reflection. Peeling back those defense layers will reveal insights into someone that are painfully deep sometimes. Sometimes its better to let the mind believe its version of the truth, other times the real truth needs to be shown...Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #11 April 14, 2004 Erk, you're way too young to be so smart...it's kinda scary how right you are. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #12 April 14, 2004 I completely agree. I think most people use their own denial to try to justify wrong-doings. It could be anything, a crime, an infidelity, a lie, any event that can later bring regret. Everyone has their dark secrets, and for most, it is denial that keeps them safe. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
