30 things you will never hear a redneck say.

[Viking 0]

30. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, screw Pilsner, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep loaded firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling's fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and salad instead of steak & potatoes.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Superbowl?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all backed up on the C: drive.
10. You know, I just don't look good tank tops.
9. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Perrier for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "The Dukes of Hazaard" that we haven't seen!
4. I don't really have a favorite NFL team.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. AND NUMBER ONE....
1. Hey Rob, you can't do her, she's only fourteen!

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver

[INSANEDADDY 0]

Dude, That is fucking hilarious......I never hear any of those things down here in Texas.

[AggieDave 6]

You don't? hmmm...
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

[kmcguffee 0]

LOL............my main objective in life is to grow my belly big enough to set my beer and pork rinds on while watching TV. It would be a great time saver.

[cyberskydive 0]

Quote

on while watching TV.

doncha mean wraslin?
.....there is no spoon
--------------------
Another place to play

[kmcguffee 0]

Yeah! and the Dukes of Hazzard of course.

[kingbunky 3]

Quote

1. Hey Rob, you can't do her, she's only fourteen!

edited for accuracy:
1. Hey Rob, you can't do her, she's:
a) only fourteen!
b) a sheep
c) your sister

nothing succeeds like a budgie with no teeth

[cyberskydive 0]

D) shes your mother!
or # 31_
That song "freebird" sucks, dont play it ever again.
32
I'm tradin in my truck for something more economical
33
I'm selling all of my rebel flag t-shirts
34
I think deer hunting is cruel and in today's society we need to focus on animal conservation, we can just get meat from the grocery store.
35
no I cant fix it, lets call the mechanic
36
my cholesterol level is way to high, no more fried foods for me thanks
37
that wine was a little too "woody" for my taste.
ok-lol- I think some of them are starting to run into the original ones
.....there is no spoon
--------------------
Another place to play

[AggieDave 6]

38) No, lets skip the Ft. Worth Stock Show this year
39) I'm gonna stop dipping
41) Hey, don't toss that can in the bed of the truck, it might fly out on the highway.
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

[ChromeBoy 0]

Yep, I reckon' ya'll will never hear a redneck say that!
Ooo... Nice Giraffe... Why don't you come lay down over here in this soft Savanna ??? That's it.....

[Chute 0]

42. Cheeze Wize isn't really cheese
43. Italian Opra is better then Greek Opra
44. The Double Wide is much to small for 14 children

Bottomless Beers and Blue Skies!

* Brother_Brian *
D.S.W.F.S.B. #2

[markd_nscr986 0]

45) Elvis Who???

Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004

[DTOXX 0]

Quote

41) Hey, don't toss that can in the bed of the truck, it might fly out on the highway.
reply]

Now thats fucking hilarious I am amazed at some of the bullshit people carry. No tailgate, no problem. Flatbed, great its not suppose to have a tailgate...

-------
D.T. Holder
SIMstudy

• Quote

[skybill 19]

And for #42 (unless sombody else posted in the meantime then it's the next)

"Fishing and drinking beer just don't go together!"

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[Kennedy 0]

You mean "Lee who," right?

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[KawiZX900 0]

Have you seen Trailer Park Boys on BBCA??? thats funny..... this list. this list is crap.

Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky