shropshire 0 #1 January 20, 2005 The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. BONUS QUESTION: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC (GIVES OFF HEAT) OR ENDOTHERMIC (ABSORBS HEAT)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed), or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: _______________________ First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul goes to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and will not freeze. _______________________ The student received the only 'A' given. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccurley 0 #2 January 20, 2005 Ivans gonna get ya!!!!!Watch my video Fat Women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #3 January 20, 2005 Oh No please tell me it's not a repost ... (Hangs head in shame!) (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccurley 0 #4 January 20, 2005 Continue hang of head! Watch my video Fat Women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #5 January 20, 2005 Help me .... where can I hide? (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adamjenner 0 #6 January 20, 2005 QuoteOh No please tell me it's not a repost ... (Hangs head in shame!) yeah it is...it's somewhere deep within the archives haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #7 January 20, 2005 all this 'repost' stuff reminds me of an old joke: a guy is sent to prison and on his first night, laying in his cell after lights out, someone yells out '46!'. everyone laughs. someone else yells out '143!'. more laughter. another voice chimes in with '95!'. again with the laughter. the next day the guy asks his cell mate what was up with the numbers. his cellmate explains that since they had all been in prison together so long that they had heard all of each other's jokes and had just numbered them to save time in the telling. that night, after lights out, the new guy yells out '58!'. silence. again he tries with '169!'. nothing. finally he tries '84!'. not a peep. next day he asks his cellmate what he did wrong. 'well,' his friend replies, 'you know how it is, some guys can tell a joke, some can't.'"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #8 January 20, 2005 Hey 69 now thats no joke Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tilly 0 #9 January 20, 2005 You forgot this bit! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #10 January 20, 2005 QuoteIvans gonna get ya!!!!! Yup!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #11 January 20, 2005 There goes my laundry bill (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dorbie 0 #12 January 20, 2005 Souls have mass? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
