The Man from Nantucket

[Tink1717 2]

Oh, limericks eh? Here's one:

in days of old,
when Knights were bold,
and rubbers weren't invented,
they tied a sock around their cock
and babies were prevented.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[gemini 0]

When I was young and in my teens,
I met a girl from New Orle'ens.
She was young a pretty too,
and had this thing called ring-dang-doo.

... anybody remember the rest?

Blue skies,

Jim

[jumper03 0]

Quote

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!

oh....my....god.

Scars remind us that the past is real

[Sen.Blutarsky 0]

The filthy group songs were the best. 100 guys singing a refrain,

'...Ten pounds of titty in a loose brazziere
Twatty's a twitchin' like a moose's ear
Dirty rubbers floatin' in my beer
Simple things remind me of you, babe ...'

No sane woman for miles. I have to leave now, I'm sobbing with rugby nostalgia.



Blutarsky 2008. No Prisoners!

[lawrocket 3]

Yes, there were always women who would drop by a rugby party. None ever returned for another one.

"Who can take a glass rod
Put it in your dick
Lay it over a table and smash it with a brick
The S&M man, the S&M Man
The S&M Man because he mixes it with love
And makes the hurt feel good. The hurt feel good."

Edited to add: I do miss those rugby days. Every team has a hooker, and as a prop, I was that hooker's protection.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[RippedCord 0]

There once was a man from Venus
Who had a gigantic penis
He made all the girls shout
When he stuck in then out
And they called him the very meanest

-Steven P in Mrs. Durishin's 9th grade English clase, Springhouse Junior High School

AMDG

[kallend 1,679]

Quote

Oh, limericks eh? Here's one:

in days of old,
when Knights were bold,
and rubbers weren't invented,
they tied a sock around their cock
and babies were prevented.

Ummm - that's a poem but not a Limerick. Rhyme in a Limerick goes AABBA.


There was a young man from Kent
Whose equipment was terribly bent
to save himself trouble he put it in double
and instead of coming he went.

There was an old queer from Khartoum
took a lesbian up to his room
as he turned out the light
he said "Let's get this right
"who does what, where, when, how, and to whom".

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[kallend 1,679]

Rugby songs? Here's a favorite, generally attributed to the MP for Cambridge in the 1930s, although he never commented...

homepages.tcp.co.uk/~nicholson/eskimo.html#Eskimo%20Nell

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[Tink1717 2]

There once was a man from Chanute,
Who was troubled by warts on his root.
He put acid on these,
and now when he pees,
he can finger his root like flute.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[Tink1717 2]

There once was a priest from Siberia
Who's morals were somewhat inferior.
He did to a nun,
what he shouldn't have done,
and now she's a mother superior.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[Tink1717 2]

There once was a Vassar B.A.,
who pondered the question all day.
Of what it would be if C-U-N-T
was divided by C-O-C-K.

A young PhD passing by,
she gave him the problem to try.
He worked the division,
with perfect precision.
And the answer was B-A-B-Y.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[SpeedRacer 1]

A man from Provincetown, Mass
Had testicles made out of brass.
He banged them together
To play "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[SpeedRacer 1]

Ever seen the movie Breaker Morant?

There once was a man from Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The color was right
All yellow and white,
But the aroma...ooh, that was a failuah!

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[SpeedRacer 1]

OK, here's one i'm making up:

A skydiver appointed as spotter,
Who'd ate more beans than he oughter,
Made the jumpers all shout
And the tandems pass out
When he cut the cheese in the Otter.

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[WrongWay 0]

There once was a man named Dave
Who kept an old slut in a cave
She shriveled and shrunk
And smelled like a skunk
But think of the money he saved!!

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[jasonRose 0]

Quote

OK, here's one i'm making up:

A skydiver appointed as spotter,
Who'd ate more beans than he oughter,
Made the jumpers all shout
And the tandems pass out
When he cut the cheese in the Otter.

Thats beutiful! I swear some people shit there pants.

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

Quote

I haven't heard that Nantucket one in a loooong time! Here's two other ones from the poop joke stage in my life... oh wait, I've never grown out of that stage!

There was a man from the bluegrass
who had two balls made of brass
and in bad weather
he'd rub them together
and lightning would shoot out of his a$$.

Okay, we need some remedial poetry lessons on meter...

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[Guest]

Quote

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!

Ding DIng Ding

LMAO We have a winner!

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[Guest]

"Alone sat the young Duke of Buckingham...."

Can anyone finish this?



mh

.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[RippedCord 0]

Quote

"Alone sat the young Duke of Buckingham...."

...

Wrote a treatise on cunts, and on fucking 'em.
But a clever young Turk
Eclipsed this great work
With a treatise on cocks, and on sucking 'em.

AMDG

[Rick 67]

there was a young man from Bombay
who fashioned a cunt out of clay
he stuck in his dick
the clay turned to brick
and he wore his foreskin away

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!