How to be a bitch

[fallingchip 0]

send him to the store to buy the "pads" just cause. Oh, and make sure you give him specifics on which ones so he stands there looking at them for a long period (no pun intended) of time for everyone to see.

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"A radical man is a man with both feet firmly planted in the air."
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt

[nanook 1]

I had that hapen to me

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"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[teamjenn1 0]

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Invite a man out to visit...

be sure to act very excited...

then ignore him completely all weekend long...

Yeah...and then sneak out to for the night with some other guy and not even bother to tell anyone you are leaving.

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"His dick is ringing!" Female Skydiver

"Well...answer it!!!" Male Skydiver

[masterrig 1]

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Ok, it's my duty to start this. (kind of an inbred child of this thread: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1745124#1745124

1. First and foremost, talk at great length about how much your 500 most recent husbands/boyfriends/whatever mistreated you and how much you hate men because of it.

2. PMS--need I say more?

3. Mood swings are a real plus.

4. Be very critical of how little money your current guy makes.

5. Act extremely bored during sex.

6. Get fat and blame it on the guy!


C'mon add to the list!!!

Walt

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While he's bangin' away, tell him you want to paint the ceiling blue!


Chuck

[sharimcm 0]

If during sex he asks stupid questions like, "Am I big enough for you?," mention your ex was bigger and better...

Ignore him, and if he finally asks why, tell him he should already know the answer, and he'd be stupid if he didn't know (previous experience, and there was a VALID reason) You can do the ignore trick if if he didn't do anything wrong...

If you're in a relationship, just start hanging out at the DZ more. When you go home, talk about all the drunk skydivers who want to get in your pants. Then start talking about relationship stuff. Tell him you think you might want to break up, but you're not sure yet... They hate that.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[livendive 8]

When asked what's wrong, say "nothing".

Ask us to do something and then complain about how we go about it.

Point out our flaws to anyone who will listen. Bonus bitch points for doing it in front of us and our friends.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[chaoskitty 0]

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If during sex he asks stupid questions like, "Am I big enough for you?,"

That is the dumbest question ever and it pisses me off just thinking about it. In fact, it pisses me off so much I would probably say something mean just to be spiteful.
Why dont they just say "Baby feed my ego". I would, in that case.
geez.
Hey guys.. your girlfriend has more than likely had a bigger cock than yours, but do you really wanna know about it?? NO! We're certainly never going to bring it up, so why make us lie??

[kelel01 1]

Ah yes, but there is always that one person on the top of the list. Lucky bastard (speaking as if I were a guy).

[chaoskitty 0]

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Ah yes, but there is always that one person on the top of the list. Lucky bastard (speaking as if I were a guy).

But do you remember his name? lol.. I dont.

[wingnut 0]

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Ah yes, but there is always that one person on the top of the list

that doesn't matter either, it's just who'se on top now...... and if it's the girl...well all the better....

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"i have no reader's digest version"

[Girlfalldown 0]

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Ah yes, but there is always that one person on the top of the list. Lucky bastard (speaking as if I were a guy).

But do you remember his name? lol.. I dont.

I do.

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(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

[kelel01 1]

True. Kinda like "he who laughs last laughs hardest"?

[RoysPlayThing 0]

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If during sex he asks stupid questions like, "Am I big enough for you?,"

That is the dumbest question ever and it pisses me off just thinking about it. In fact, it pisses me off so much I would probably say something mean just to be spiteful.
Why dont they just say "Baby feed my ego". I would, in that case.
geez.
Hey guys.. your girlfriend has more than likely had a bigger cock than yours, but do you really wanna know about it?? NO! We're certainly never going to bring it up, so why make us lie??

buwahahahahaa!!! I have to totaly agree with you on this one!

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My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

[jumpchikk 0]

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But do you remember his name? lol.. I dont.

I have a secret shrine just for him...

[jasonRose 0]

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Ah yes, but there is always that one person on the top of the list. Lucky bastard (speaking as if I were a guy).

But do you remember his name? lol.. I dont.

I do.

What was the name of that elaphant? Wasn't it Dumbo or something.

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[sharimcm 0]

I was just speaking from past experiences. I said nothing at the time... I didn't want to hurt his itty bitty ego or itty bitty anything else for that matter. Although, if I were wanting to be a bitch, I should/could have.

And yes, I've had much bigger that him... Deal with it.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[Icon134 0]

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Invite a man out to visit...

be sure to act very excited...

then ignore him completely all weekend long...

Yeah...and then sneak out to for the night with some other guy and not even bother to tell anyone you are leaving.

Ouch... where'd that come from... I think we need to have a wrestling match... in jello... J. you seem to be good at making jello... I know Rome has the perfect pool.

I'm sure we can sell tickets to it... maybe raise some money for lingerie dives .

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[sharimcm 0]

Ramen noodles are more fun!

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[Icon134 0]

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Ramen noodles are more fun!

As long as we can add the flavor packets... it'll make cleanup easer ... smells like fish... tastes like beef?!?

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[sharimcm 0]

As long as we can add the flavor packets... it'll make cleanup easer ... smells like fish... tastes like beef?!?

[karenmeal 0]

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While he's bangin' away, tell him you want to paint the ceiling blue!

This one is funny! Was that from personal experience.. and was she a skydiver?

I want to paint our ceilings blue someday too!

-Karen

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[yardhippie 0]

that could be an event!
all you need is one of them portable pools, about $100 in ramen and a giant sheet of plastic.

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[masterrig 1]

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While he's bangin' away, tell him you want to paint the ceiling blue!

This one is funny! Was that from personal experience.. and was she a skydiver?

I want to paint our ceilings blue someday too!

-Karen

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Yes and No. Things were on a down-hill slide anyhow.
That'd be cool! and paint puffy blue clouds. Kinda serene.


Chuck

[sharimcm 0]

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that could be an event!
all you need is one of them portable pools, about $100 in ramen and a giant sheet of plastic.

Sounds like you've done this before... That's exactly what/how it was when I did it the first time. A kiddie pool works just fine though.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[jeiber 0]

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your girlfriend has more than likely had a bigger cock than yours

I doubt it! For a while I was thinking my name was, 'Oh my God!'

Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring!