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dixieskydiver

Open Letter Thread

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dear dz.com'rs
thanks for always making my days more than entertaining


Dear Kenz,

Can I have the night shift?:|

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

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dear stupid truckdriver that ruined my day,

thanks for crashing your truck and spilling copper and some other hazardous crap all over the blue route, and not only making me sit in 3 hours of traffic but also making me miss my scheduled jump >:( craphead... anyway i hope that you are ok.. but next time remember gas is on the right and brakes are on the left
"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

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Dear ex-boss,

After getting me fired, how's your ego after getting demoted out of management yourself shortly afterwards? HAH! I got the last word, you fucker! :P
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Dear Murphy,
Please sir, leave me alone I beg you. I do not mind the occasional visit. But this year I do believe that you have gone over the deep end. Sir as you well know I have not jumped since Oct of last year do much in part to your help. As you know every time the opportunity comes up you show your putrid face with one disaster after another.
Sir seeing how it has been 10 very long months since I have tasted the sky why I inquire of you why would you once again punish me. I had all the perfect plans laid to jump on Saturday, but you saw fit to once again intervene, and once again I will have to change my plans. Have I offended you or one of yours? Is there a vendetta that you are trying to settle with me? If so I would gladly pay whatever price. I just beg of you please let me jump on Sunday. Saturday is already a lost cause thanks to you, but Sunday is still an option. So please sir let me make just one skydive maybe two on Sunday. Please save the broken down cars, the run away dogs, the broken pipes and flooded kitchens, and most importantly any broken bones. Please sir with no disrespect intended get the hell out of my life.
Sincerely
Dustin
if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

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Dear Brain,

Quit thinking those terrible things you wish would happen to your ex. He can’t help that he has no heart or brain… Or that he was forgot about when they were handing out The “decent bones” for his body. At least he is only to you as another person stepping in a mixture of pig puke and elephant poopie, and getting told about it.. (no, actually he's worse then that)..:S and when he won’t leave you alone and gets too vocal, at least you don’t have to look at his unusually abnormal looking face and wonder why they didn’t send him back when he was born.

Sincerely, :P
Lany

Dear Man in my life,

You know we should really make more use of some of our furnishings. I also think The roof top is not enough, and we need to warm all the decks up a little more also. Let’s buff the new flooring with a little lovin’ … Give the Raccoons a little show, and scare the crickets into silence.

P.S. We need more towels and the bathroom pipe is leaking.

With lots of love, :)
Lany

Dear Acmeskydiver,

Where are those photos? Why hasn’t Kev showed them to us? Should I not hold my breath? :)

Angelic like,

Lany

Dear RoadRash,

Where the hell are you???? >:(

Lany

Dear DZ.com,

Why the hell am I posting on here again? I don’t really like to, I’m just really talking to myself, I have work to do, and most of my close friends don’t post on here anyway. :S

Regards,
Lany

Dear non-friends,

I don't like you either. :D

Very sincerely,
Lany
_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

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Dear "I'm a male"

I will not post any totally nude photos of myself on these forums, (unless the bottom privates are hidden, but someone on this forum (Of course no need for a name) PM's my friends and tells them they shouldn't associate with me or chopchop because my stuff is "Porno" and I will ruin their business if they are my friend... (of course my friend won't listen to this person) but I'll be sure to make a note that some of you (relaxed, nice, cool and don't have a stick up their butt people) still like my photos and don't take nudity as being a bad evil thing. ;)

*Hugs*
Lany
_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

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Dear Lany,

Hope to meet you and Chop chop in Byron.



Dear Chris,

I'm looking forward to meet you also... Will you be at the Bryon Boogie? I'm sorry, but I haven't looked at the "who's coming" list all that well.. ;) ... If you are, I hope you can find us in the crowd. I might be the one kicking and screaming. :)

Hopes and Hugs,
Lany
_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

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Dear James,

We all have sinned once in a while... Please try to forgive yourself, and go on with your life. You are not a bad person, and it is not your fault.

P.S. I know about the PM advantage. ;)

Innocently,
Lany
_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

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Dear Sunshine,

?

Smoothly,
Your 2 way partner.

Dear Sangiro,

I seem to have found the footage from Rantoul, 2003. May i rip and post from my tapes, or will the big smiley face ruin my computer?

Honestly,
The guy hiding in the corner

Dear Ladyskydiver,

ROWWWWRRRR!!!!

Chest Beatingly,
Tarzan

Dear Plaything,

Spankings?

Me
It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

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Dear Low-carb Light Beer,

Why can't you taste more like a Corona?


Dear Payless Shoes,

I love your BOGO sales. I just bought 2 pairs of boots today for $47.00. Now I just have 3 more months to wait until it gets cool enough to wear them.


Dear Dad,

I need a raise. I need new clothes to go with my new shoes.


Dear Home Owners Assocation,

I got a letter today saying there is $18,000 missing from our community account and my dues are going to go up. I would really like to know who took it so my friends in low places can come pay you a friendly visit. >:(
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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Dear Ex1:
I understand the house thing, but what possible use do you have for my underwear?
Uncomfortably yours,
Mark
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Dear Ex2:
No, I don’t think your attorney needs a new car and Porsche’s are more practical than Ferrari’s anyway.
Recalcitrantly yours,
Mark
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Dear mushrooms on my steak:
Are you truly closely related to the fungus on my feet?
Disgustedly yours,
Mark
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Dear guy in the restroom:
Thanks, but I don’t do that anymore and no, I have not been surgically enhanced.
Embarrassedly yours,
Mark
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Dear packer:
Ouch.
Spiraling yours,
Mark
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Dear Earth:
Do I ever get to win an argument?
Fragilely yours,
Mark
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Dear rash:
Have we met before? Do you come here often?
Irritatingly yours,
Mark
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Dear nose:
Thanks for storing all the hair that fell through my brain and now resides with you.
Hirsuitedly yours,
Mark
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Dear food poisoning:
Thanks for the memories.
Torrentially yours,
Mark
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Dear girlfriend (ex) during food poisoning episode:
Sorry about that. I know that you’d flush me from your heart if the drain wasn’t clogged with my nose hair.
Sympathetically yours,
Mark
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Dear self:
Other than… displaying the charm of an armpit, being as financially responsible as an Enron exec, having the personality of a tapeworm and the creativity of an intestine… other than that, you don’t have a lot going for you. Except maybe your ability to retrieve olives from a jar with your toenails… thankfully something… and that’s impressive.
Optimistically yours,
Me
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...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it.

GravityGone

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Dear Rev:

:$ Thank you!

Being shy for some reason,
Cora


Dear Photographers:

:o Thanks for making me realize that I need to be a little more observant around cameras. :$

Blushing,
Cora

Dear Friends:

Love ya, lots! I'm glad your in my life.

Me

Dear School:

2 years of pre-vet work before vet school? B| Be gentle with me.

Soon-to-be-brain fried,
Cora

Dear Vet School:

US or International? Decisions...decisions...

Wondering,
Cora
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

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Dear Dogs,

Thank you for waking me at 3 this morning.




Dear Slippers,

Why the fuck did you hide, so that I had no protection when I walked into the reason that thedogs woke me up>:(

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

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Dear People Who Think You Know Me Because of Something I Posted Online:

You don't.

Sincerely,

One Who Is Gonna Continue to Trust those Who Actually Do.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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Dear People in Tent City still awake at 3 AM one night:

Sorry I scarred you for life. No, poking your eyes out won't work, the image is seared in your brain.

Bolas
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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