all time favorite social blunders

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

I was on a cruise with a girlfriend of mine, quite a few years ago. The wine steward was a hottie. I flirted with him the whole week long. During the trip I had admired his wine tasting cup that hung around his neck. The last night on the cruise ship, he offered me some wine, as he bent down to show me the wine bottle selection for the evening, I went to grab the gold wine cup that he had hanging around his neck, well I missed the wine cup and grabbed his balls instead. Whoooopsy.

Yep, that was some mighty fine wine!!!

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[masterrig 1]

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It's folks like you that fumigate glass elevators only to stand by and watch your victims puke all the way to their destination.

However a little "slippage" no and then is funny.

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Doin' that in the grocery store is called... 'crop-dustin'!
When I was a kid, I was in church one Sunday and one slipped-out. I was sitting between my mom and some sweet old lady. I just rared-back and curled my nose up like a bull in Springtime. About that time, folks around started lookin' at her! She just sat there with her face buried in the hymnal. Got away with another one!


Chuck

[waltappel 1]

I a way I didn't feel all that bad because this guy could be a real pain in the ass and I had to tangle with him a bunch of times.

As much as I have made fun of retards, though, they were like family to me--an incredibly bizarre and dysfunctional family for sure, but still family--so I did feel kind of bad because of that.

Walt

[waltappel 1]

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...well I missed the wine cup and grabbed his balls instead. Whoooopsy.

Yep, that was some mighty fine wine!!!

Bobbi

Note to self....


Walt

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

I was drunk already. I TRULY meant to grab the wine cup. Honest! He was as surprised as I was, trust me.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[scaryshari 0]

...the worst one is the one you can't get away with: Laughing sooo hard that one just blasts out of your butt so hard that the room shakes.

Then everyone laughs at your "mistake" and you laugh only to blow out another one.

is

[masterrig 1]

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I a way I didn't feel all that bad because this guy could be a real pain in the ass and I had to tangle with him a bunch of times.

As much as I have made fun of retards, though, they were like family to me--an incredibly bizarre and dysfunctional family for sure, but still family--so I did feel kind of bad because of that.

Walt

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Years ago, I was workin' as a deputy sheriff. One of my jobs was transporting mental patient escapees back to the 'home'. That was about a 125-mi. trip, one way. I was taking a very old 'mental' patient back to the home when he asked to use the bathroom. I stopped at the next truck-stop and led him to the rest room. I waited outside the door for him. When he came-out, I asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee... so, we did. After we got situated, I told him to keep his seat, I'd be right back. I went to the pay phone and called the office. When I finished my phone call, I headed for my county car and headed on to the hospital.
I got to the hospital to let them know I was there. Two aids, came out with me. I opened the door for the aids to get the little old man. You guessed it! It was red lights and sirens back to that truck stop. I was sweatin' like a mule pullin' a plow! I got to the truck stop, gained my composure and went in. there he was.. right where I left him!


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

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...the worst one is the one you can't get away with: Laughing sooo hard that one just blasts out of your butt so hard that the room shakes.

Then everyone laughs at your "mistake" and you laugh only to blow out another one.

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Been there done that! After a 2 - for one sale on bean burritos at the Taco Villa!


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

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I was drunk already. I TRULY meant to grab the wine cup. Honest! He was as surprised as I was, trust me.

Bobbi

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Yeah, right! Bobbi got her groove back!


Chuck

[AlexCrowley 0]

is it bad if you've almost started posting about 20 different stories that come to mind but then cancel the post because they're so embarassing you can't even commit them to the page?

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[SkiD_PL8 0]

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is it bad if you've almost started posting about 20 different stories that come to mind but then cancel the post because they're so embarassing you can't even commit them to the page?

Just close your eyes and hit enter.

Greenie in training.

[masterrig 1]

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is it bad if you've almost started posting about 20 different stories that come to mind but then cancel the post because they're so embarassing you can't even commit them to the page?

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Fire away! We've all been there!


Chuck

[waltappel 1]

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is it bad if you've almost started posting about 20 different stories that come to mind but then cancel the post because they're so embarassing you can't even commit them to the page?

Don't feel bad. I've got some great ones that I can't post because they would make me look even worse than everyone already thinks I am--and that is really bad!

Walt

[AlexCrowley 0]

No. That's not going to work.

Although I doubt they'd extradite me back home at this point. I'm sure some of them have passed the statute of limitations.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[masterrig 1]

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No. That's not going to work.

Although I doubt they'd extradite me back home at this point. I'm sure some of them have passed the statute of limitations.

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It's no worse than hearin' the last 3 words outa' your date: "That's him, officer!"


Chuck

[AlexCrowley 0]

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[Muenkel 0]

Back in college, I ran into a girl I wnet to High School with. We were catching up on old high school friends. She says to me "Did you hear about Jack Duffy?" " I said no, what abou t him?" "He was in the air force in pilot training a nd crashed when he was being tested on landings and died." My stupid response: " I guesss he failed his test."

Chris

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Chris

[cocheese 0]

My friend pulled up at the dock to show me his new pontoon boat. It was nice and puffy/drunk friendly. No sharp edges etc. As i was checking out the stern i was amazed at how nice it was compared to my dangerous, jagged pontoon. "Wow you have a really nice rear end" Before i could rephrase that, he said "Why thank you, but i'm not that kind of guy".
Yep everything i say comes out the wrong way.

[waltappel 1]

ok, this is not really a blunder, this is just me being me.

A friend who is an avid baseball card collector was visiting from New York. He wanted to go to some of the local trading card stores to check 'em out.

Strangely enough, he had told me that one of his goals for that year was to join a satanic cult. Since he was Jewish, I thought this kind of odd, but whatever--to each his own.

I'm really not into trading cards, so when I took him to a trading card store and noticed a really big Christian book store next door, I jumped at the opportunity. I was walking around in the store looking for books on devil worship and satanic cults.

"Can I help you?"

She was one of those people who you just know are a lot holier than you. Of course in my case, nearly everyone is holier than me, but this lady could have given the Pope a good run for the money. She looked like she had never even had a single evil thought in her entire life! She looked incapable of farting or burping. She represented PURITY--no question about it.

"Why yes, I am looking for books on devil worship and satanic cults--do you have any?"

[I didn't think the question was any big deal, but she did. She was quite flustered.]


"Nnnnnnnnn...no. Uh, you really should be reading stuff like that."

"It's not for me, it's for a friend who wants to join a satanic cult. Are you sure you don't have any books about that?"

"Yes, I am very sure"

"What's up with that? Don't you keep track of the competition?"

[I don't know whether she was really thinking of calling the police or whether she just had that kind of look on her face, but I decided to quickly leave at that point.]

Walt

[colinl 0]

I can't seem to remember any of this kind of episodes. I'm sure there have been, though, perhaps it's some sort of self-protection. Just forget about them and they never existed...

[waltappel 1]

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I can't seem to remember any of this kind of episodes. I'm sure there have been, though, perhaps it's some sort of self-protection. Just forget about them and they never existed...

Who do you think you're fooling?!!! You're a jumper and therefore guilty.

Walt

[Feeblemind 1]

Some many social blunders, but only time to post two.

1st actually happened to a friend of mine. As we know in these changing times some folks with physical and mental challenges are getting hired in various businesses (a good thing IMHO). Well this fellar, I'll call him Scott wernt to get a quick bite to eat at the local fast food joint with his SO. Well they stop at the intercom and he proceeds to order. Well unfortunately there was a slight issue with trying to communicate his order to the person on the other end of the intercom. After the 4th or 5th time he blurted out "What's a matter with you?? Are you some kind of retard or something!!!" As he arrived up to the pick up window he was greeted by a very apologitic female that was obviously mentally challenged. Needless to say he felt like crap, but his SO was less than pleased with him.

2nd My wife and I had purchased our new home and went to 3-day blinds to look for window coverings. The young robust lady was eager to help us make selection offering her professional opinions. I was on the other side of the store when my wife made a comment.....Yep you guessed it "So when are you due?" Well she was rather offended as she was not pregnant. I exited as she made the comment, needless to say my wife was right on my heels.

Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked

[squink 0]

I am relatively close to my friends mom (I live with them), and she and I talk all the time. Last week I was telling him how much his and my mom have in common. Starting out with the point that both our dad's cheated on our mom's.


Response: My dad never cheated on my mom.

Oops... Apparently he never knew about his Dad's little indescretion that actually broke up the marriage.

Retard can be my middle name sometimes.

...the door was open

SKYDIVERGIRLS.COM

[BillyVance 34]

One of the biggest blunders I can remember hearing about was my friend's cousin in New Orleans... There was a costume ball and this was not long after Christopher Reeve broke his neck falling off his horse.

Well, the guy wanted to go as superman in a wheelchair with a breathing tube taped to the front of his neck. His wife was totally against it, but I don't know why she didn't draw a line and say you can't do this...

Well, they went... him elaborately dressed in a superman costume with cape and tube on his neck, in a wheelchair... his wife stayed way on the other side of the room from him.

He was told to leave after a few minutes, needless to say.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[scaryshari 0]

My ex hubby was in a Krew member in the Mardi Gras parade each year. Knowing that I was NOT a flasher, he still begged and pleaded with me just to do it ONCE for HIM while he was throwing beads. I finally caved and we worked out a plan. He showed me which float was his (in the middle of the day the day before) and where he was assigned, etc, and I told him which intersection I would be standing at when he came through.

I made it very clear that I would not pull my top UP and that I’d pull it out in front of me and he could toss a bag a beads at my boobies that way.

SO THERE I WAS anticipating the moment of doing my big flash at my HUSBAND. So, here comes his float and he sees me, almost instantly, and begins hanging over the side and “signals” for me to flash. So I did. He gave me a huge bag of beads that I held onto with both hands. Whew! Was I glad that was over. I didn’t need any beads, I just wanted to watch the rest of the parade. BUT NOOOO. Suddenly, I hear SHARI! SHARI!! I look up and he was on the float behind the one I just FLASHED!

AND THERE I WAS with my arms full of beads with this look of D’OH! on my face.

Short story I didn’t flash my hubby at the parade. Wrong guy got the booby shot.

is