2 questions...

[psipike02 0]

First, does anyone know anything about "Skydive Acapulco?" Their website doesnt work. I am going there for spring break starting this saturday (uofm's break is early) and wanted to try to do a jump there....

Ok, now my second serious question. It is kind of related to spring break. I want to hear what guys and girls have to say.

So me and this girl, her name is Lauren, have been kind of flirting back and forth for the past few months. I originally came to know her when her sorority and my fraternity started hanging out alot more.

So we would hang out. She wanted a BF and I have wanted a GF for awhile. I havent had one since I was like 15. (i'm 21 now). So, we've been talking and stuff but haven't had the official "talk" yet about becoming exclusive.

I want to and I know she wants to. However, this is the problem. I'm going on spring break and she isn't. I didn't want to make it exclusive because if spring break wouldnt be fun because she wouldnt be down there and I would basically be "looking but not touching" and if any of you have gone on spring break, you know what its like. This is my 3rd year going on spring break by the way.

So i want to wait until after spring break to solidify everything. I especially wanted to prevent myself from doing something stupid down in Acapulco if we were to be together beforehand.

Ok so basically my question is, am I right for wanting to wait until after spring break or am I being shallow, selfish, and wrong?

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[soulshine 0]

If you want to wait to make it "official" because you may have a chance to bang a hottie on spring break then you probably aren't ready to make it "official" yet.

Sounds harsh, but yes, I do think that is kinda shallow. But, on the flip side, you're in college so you are supposed to do stupid and irresponsible things that you laugh about for years, including the spring break madness.

Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity!
~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~

[RevJim 0]

If you are able to go on spring break and look, but not touch, even though you didn't have to, go exclusive. It's much better to be honest with her about that now, than lie about doing the opposite later.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[Vyxen 0]

Hey Carl! I understand!

I think you are a forward thinker and wise beyond your years.

I only ask that you take one moment and imagine it is the other way around, or, if you can, imagine that you are her. If you are both "there" in terms of ready to start a "relationship" and she is not a stupid soroho, its probably pretty clear why things are not going to get solidified prior to spring break. However, as a fellow college student, she herself should understand...but girls dont always make sense, or understand sensical things like not getting into a relationship because you are going to acapulco for spring break and may be asked to fly video to help out girls gone wild film crew...i get it.

Anywho, do whats right for you. "There is a time and place for everything, and thats college!"

good luck on jumping too btw.

p.s. follow what those fliers on the diag that say "dont bring back more then you left with" insert picture of pregnancy test and std test results.

[karenmeal 0]

You're being pretty fucking shallow if you ask me.

Delaying a relationship in hopes of a one-night stand.

Maybe that sort of behavior is why you've been single for so long?

I'm sure you'll think, "Man, she sounds like one harsh bitch."

But dude, c'mon, if you can't imagine keeping it in your pants for some hoe-bag that you haven't even met, how in the heck is a relationship going to ever work?

Quit treating women like cattle; treat them like people, and you will find a hot, sweet, intelligent woman.

-Karen

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[Nightingale 0]

If you're choosing the opportunity of a one-night stand over furthering a relationship with a girl you really like, you're not ready for a relationship. Stop leading her on.

[psipike02 0]

WOW......ok first, everyone, chill the fuck out....lol

In my defense, I'M NOT LOOKING TO GO DOWN AND HOOK UP WITH SOME "HOEBAG" ON SPRING BREAK,

My point was merely saying that I would be miserable being down there without her and would feel guilty if something DID happen when I was under the influence.

Secondly, I know I put myself out there posting this, but I take offense to the statement of "maybe thats why you've been single for so long"

For your information, I don't do random hook ups. The last time I was with a girl was last year some time. It happens, but I dont whore my self around on campus.

Next, I don't appreciate being attacked personally like that, so to be honest, you can go fuck yourself, because you know nothing about me.

Not trying to be dick, but you can be honest without being a raging bitch, this is only applying one maybe two people. Thanks to everyone for the rest of the responses.

Help me out and give me advice and be honest, BUT DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE AND MY LIFE CHOICES, THATS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS...

I do care about hearing what those people have to say who are actually helpful and honest....

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[karenmeal 0]

My boyfriend agreed with everything I said.

Guess we're just raging crazies!

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[psipike02 0]

Thats great, but I didnt ask your boyfriend. Can I talk to someone whos not gonna be an asshole please?

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[psipike02 0]

Ok now I feel bad. I apologize for exploding at everyone.

I'm gonna take everyones advice and talk to her about us and the current situation and see what she wants to do. I'm basically gonna leave it up to her. If she wants to wait, fine, if not, then I'll be fine on spring break.

I just really do honestly care about her and I thought i was trying to think of her, because I didnt want to chance doing something stupid by accident and hurting her. Thats all.

I'll let you guys know how it goes if you care....

Carl

P.S. - HI CHRISSAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[karenmeal 0]

What do you expect when you ask for the opinion of men and women?

You're going to get atleast one person who thinks that sort of attitude about relationships is ridiculous.

Look, you got at least 2! (Me and Nightingale)But I just came right out and said what plenty of people probably thought.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[happythoughts 0]

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I would basically be "looking but not touching" and if any of you have gone on spring break, you know what its like. This is my 3rd year going on spring break by the way.

Sounds like partying is the plan. I did live in Daytona for a while, so I do know what you meant.

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My point was merely saying that I would be miserable being down there without her and would feel guilty if something DID happen when I was under the influence.

Nice backpedal, but...nah. My BS detectors (and a lot of peoples) just went off.

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I do care about hearing what those people have to say who are actually helpful and honest....

Ok, you've got honest. It just isn't what you wanted to hear. If you only wanted reinforcement of your opinion, then don't ask. In real conversations, there may be more than one viewpoint.

Helpful? Your response was to tell people to FO ?
Manners would be helpful.

[karenmeal 0]

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I didnt want to chance doing something stupid by accident and hurting her.

Then don't do something stupid. You do, in fact, have control over your actions, as it turns out.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[NWFlyer 2]

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would feel guilty if something DID happen when I was under the influence.

Part of growing up is realizing that alcohol is not an excuse. It might take away your inhibitions, it might affect your judgment, but it doesn't allow you not to *own* your actions. Of course, I know lots of people much older than you who haven't figured that out yet.

If you want to have fun on spring break, by all means, do, but leave things clear with this woman before you go, and be honest if asked when you get back. But don't be surprised if you come back and she's less interested. Then again, 21-year old women have been known to give men a lot more free passes for sketchy behavior than women my age do.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[psipike02 0]

Well I was actually only talking to one person in particular, but regardless you're right and thats why I apologized.

I knew what to expect but I guess I wasn't ready for the response I got necessarily and I felt attacked, so I got defensive.

Anyways, thats one thing thats hard to learn while you're in college. As I know that doesnt fly in the real world, but its hard to learn now because it happens to everyone at one point or another. Not just sexual situations, but in doing other stupid crap you may not do when you're sober.

So then if you guys were me, what would you suggest as far as telling/talking to her about this.

Obviously, I don't wanna be like "Hey Lauren, I don't wanna start anything right now, because I wanna shake my ass all over acapulco and back again."

So how can I approach....the mindset of girls is incredibly complex and I don't understand it....so yeah.....

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[karenmeal 0]

Yeah, I'm in college too. Unfortunately, there is no college class that tells you how people deserve to be treated.

If you can't figure out a good thing to say to this girl, could it be because you don't want to be truthful with her?

The mindset of girls is not complex at all. Here is the big secret, are you ready?

Like everyone else in the world, women don't appreciate being lied to or lead on. If they do, then you probably wouldn't want to date them anyways.

I'm harsh, I know. But I think your attitude towards women (that you claim to like!) is ridiculous.

-Karen

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[Orchid 0]

Have you thought of asking her to join you on spring break......be honest with her.......and see where things take you 2.

Time together on spring break will allow you to learn about one another.

.....just my 2 cents......

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[happythoughts 0]

There is an upside/downside to most things.

Committment is great when it is effortless. It isn't hard to be with someone when you want to be. Your problem is that you don't want to do that all the time. That is part of the definiton though.

If you stick to casual dating, you may lose them to someone who does want that, and that would suck.

Therein lies the issue. You want the benefits of both with none of the downside.

You need to be honest and take the chance of that loss. (People don't take rejection that well).

There are women who are not that interested in a monogamous relationship and just want the casual dating stuff.

As a side note, skydiving is a small community.
It is best to only type what you would say to a poster
in person. Without exaggeration, within 18 months, you may meet them. I met one of the posters in this thread just last month for the first time. Try not to f-up the possibility of some very cool future friendships.

[karenmeal 0]

Are we playing 6 degrees from Krisanne again?

That game is easy!

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[NWFlyer 2]

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I met one of the posters in this thread just last month for the first time.

Actually, it was earlier this month.

And I definitely agree with that sentiment. I've been in this sport just 18 months and I can't believe the number of wonderful folks from here I've had the opportunity to meet. I'd like to think that being generally cool to people online has helped make those meetups go well.

[NWFlyer 2]

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Are we playing 6 degrees from Krisanne again?

That game is easy!

I have a game? That's so COOL!

[karenmeal 0]

I always win.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[psipike02 0]

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If you can't figure out a good thing to say to this girl, could it be because you don't want to be truthful with her?

Not at all. My point was that I wanted to be able to say what I had to say, but not have it come off as something else. Its happened more than once, of when I talk to a girl (about any random thing), sometimes what I say is not always what they hear. Thats what I'm saying.

If I were to talk to her, I wouldn't lie to her and if we were together and I did something dumb, I wouldn't hide it either.

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I'm harsh, I know. But I think your attitude towards women (that you claim to like!) is ridiculous.

Maybe I don't get how I'm being ridiculous. My thing is, is that you're basing your opinion of me by 1. an internet forum and by what I said and I'm asking you not to do that.

I don't mind you being harsh, but while you're giving you're opinion, you're judging my character and thats something I value within myself.

To Orchid:

I would love nothing more than for her to be on spring break with me. Absolutely 100% would love it. But spring break is not cheap and she already has plans to go somewhere else. Believe me, I tried to think of 200 ways to get her to go. But thank you for your suggestion.

Happythoughts, I agree with you all the way. My thing is, its been rare for me to find someone. Everytime I've liked a girl or had some interest, she has either a. not liked me, got the "friend" speech.
b. Her parents didn't want me to date her b/c I was black....true story....
c. She was kinda psycho....so yeah, that didnt work...

And I guess I was scared that I would lose her even though I dont have her yet. I was trying to basically send the signal that "yes I still like you" but didn't want to throw the line out there yet.....does that make sense? Basically show interest but not too much so that I won't have a fun time on spring break.

When I say fun time, I mean hanging out with my other 1000 (literally) friends going and not being depressed cause i would miss her so much.....so yeah...thats the situation...

I know she wants the relationship, i've listened to her "life plan" about 20x. She has her entire life planned out until shes like 40, which is really weird and scary I think....but thats the beside the point....

And I know, I dont want to burn bridges with anyone. Thats why I came to you guys, cause even though I may not know 90% of you. I trust and respect alot of your opinions.....

All my fraternity bros would say the same thing...lol...so that would get me no where...

Puttin' some stank on it.

----Hellfish #707----

[happythoughts 0]

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I'd like to think that being generally cool to people online has helped make those meetups go well.

And the reverse... every once in a while, I just say, "Pinhead..." and make a mental note to avoid. It helps separate the sheep from the goats in advance.


You just have to promise that if you catch me doing something ignorant, that you don't post it.

[NWFlyer 2]

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You just have to promise that if you catch me doing something ignorant, that you don't post it.

Of course I wouldn't. Having something in my back pocket is much more fun in the long run. It's like the gift that keeps on giving.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke