Husband on Strike

[lawrocket 3]

This is an interesting scenario.

http://www.husbandonstrike.com/

This guy is "going on strike" because his wife, and the mother of his 3 month old and 2 year old child won't wean them off of sleeping in the parents' bed.

Now, I had no idea how much of a debate there is with this subject until I had my own son. My wife and I kept him with us for the first year most of the time. And I can still recall vividly the day we decided that he needed to sleep in his own bed. She was ready - right up until that screaming from him went on for 45 minutes.

"Please, let me get him."
"NO!"
"It's KILLING ME!!"
"We're doing this because he's killing US! NO!"

Sure, she wanted to kill me - up until the next night when Conor handled it just fine. I think almost every set of parents has had the above discussion. So I've heard.

I do not believe that men can possibly even hope to truly understand the feelings a mother has for a child. I think this is a good thing, though, since the father's perspective can help balance things out so that the child isn't coddled all throughout childhood (although there are plenty of fathers who coddle the kids, too - it takes effort on my part not to swamp my son with adoration).

What do you think of this? How many of you have had this situation affect your relationship? Is this a battle of the sexes?

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[littlejohn 0]

i thinkthe guy has a point

death before dishonor

[skymama 35]

Unless a woman is breast feeding, I really don't see any reason why the kids should sleep in the parent's bed. I saw this couple on tv. The woman said, "my children need me more than he does right now." With that attitide, this marriage won't last.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[LisaM 0]

Husband and wife relatioship need to come first. When you lose that, you lose the entire family. Too many kids going through divorce these days....

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

[lisamariewillbe 1]

I think a man and womans bedroom is just that, if the child does not have special needs or is not woken by a nightmare, they need to sleep in their own room. Part of being a good parent is maintaining a good relationship with your partner. To do that parents need space of their own. Kids have the rest of the house to over run.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[TALONSKY 0]

I have had my opinion on this subject since I was 10 years old. I used to baby sit a little girl that her mother always slept with her, when ever I tried to put the girl to sleep she would cry until the mother came home. Once she cry so much she got sick.
As an adult I have dated a few women that would let their children sleep with them and this always became an issue for the child whenever I would sleep over. This also set me up as the bad guy since I was taking their mommy from them at night.
Kirk

[blueskyserenity 0]

Quote

Husband and wife relatioship need to come first. When you lose that, you lose the entire family. Too many kids going through divorce these days....

I see your point, sort of...I don't agree that when you lose a marriage you lose the entire family though. That's a bit much. Divorce was the best thing that happened for my kids. They ended up with a father that now puts everything to the side to be w/ them versus a father that was never there.

As for the sleeping in the bed thing I agree w/ Skymama. The only time I let my kids in the bed is first thing in the morning when they climb on our heads to wake us up and I'm considering (being urged really) to not even allow that. It's tough though for sure.

I like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun!

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

i thinkthe guy has a point

I think they both have a point. That's why I'm posting this. It doesn't seem like this guy's wife is willing to moderate this, and that's a problem.

I understand both sides of this pretty well.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[LisaM 0]

You lose the true meaning of family. It's tough on kids to go back and forth for visitation. It's a broken family. Period.

Stopping while I'm ahead... =)

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

[livendive 8]

I don't know about the whole "strike" thing, but we went through a phase similar to your's at about 6 months. We decided it was time to institute a bedtime, so at 8 PM we put my daughter to bed in her crib. She screamed bloody murder for over 45 minutes, with me having to encourage patience in her mom the entire time. The next night it was 15-20 minutes, the next about 5, and then just a minute or two for a couple nights. She learned two things in the process: one - that bedtime is bedtime and not subject to argument, and two - that screaming is not an effective means of getting what she wants.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Sometimes the broken families are the happiest. My kids are happier without me being married. They are better cared for. The true meaning of family is a personal definition. To me the "true meaning of family" is to daily express your love and show your love un-conditionally. To make life fun and to raise children strong in their faith and self esteem. Family is not blood, family is those that can make that happen...

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[blueskyserenity 0]

Quote

You lose the true meaning of family. It's tough on kids to go back and forth for visitation. It's a broken family. Period.

Stopping while I'm ahead... =)

I prefer to use the term 'blended family'. But then again, I'm a glass half full kind of gal.

No worries chica! We're just having a discussion!

I like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun!

[LisaM 0]

It's only blended if one of the other parents get remarried. Then yes, blended is the word.

See the kicker here is that I'm a stepmom (soon to be an adoptive mom) and I would agree my son was better off without his mom around all the time.... the world is not black and white.

But families that fight..need to get over it. Hubby and I fought like cats and dogs when we first married...part of that blended family thing...we could've divorced lots of times...but now that we worked it out.... our kids is much better off for that.

Just don't wanna stick my foot in my mouth and tick anyone off

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

[lisamariewillbe 1]

My divorce fixed my broken family. Being a single parent home does not make a broken family. Being a single parent is hard but being in a marriage where the other person hinders the healthy development of the children is what causes a broken family. Not the act of divorce.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[LisaM 0]

I suppose that is a valid point. That's why I stick to "the world is not black and white"... there is no set rule for every situation. I just find it sad for the kids to go through one parent leaving.

~ Lisa
~ Do you Rigminder?

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Yes it is sad, sometimes its better to choose the lesser evil.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

Yes it is sad, sometimes its better to choose the lesser evil.

Lesser evil?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Yes

1. Kids seeing a parent walk out

or

2. Kids learn what they live, if they are in a house where one is being mis-treated it is probable they may think its how life is supposed to be

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[kallend 1,672]

Quote

This is an interesting scenario.

http://www.husbandonstrike.com/

This guy is "going on strike" because his wife, and the mother of his 3 month old and 2 year old child won't wean them off of sleeping in the parents' bed.

Now, I had no idea how much of a debate there is with this subject until I had my own son. My wife and I kept him with us for the first year most of the time. And I can still recall vividly the day we decided that he needed to sleep in his own bed. She was ready - right up until that screaming from him went on for 45 minutes.

"Please, let me get him."
"NO!"
"It's KILLING ME!!"
"We're doing this because he's killing US! NO!"

Sure, she wanted to kill me - up until the next night when Conor handled it just fine. I think almost every set of parents has had the above discussion. So I've heard.

I do not believe that men can possibly even hope to truly understand the feelings a mother has for a child. I think this is a good thing, though, since the father's perspective can help balance things out so that the child isn't coddled all throughout childhood (although there are plenty of fathers who coddle the kids, too - it takes effort on my part not to swamp my son with adoration).

What do you think of this? How many of you have had this situation affect your relationship? Is this a battle of the sexes?

My (ex) wife was just as anxious for the kids to sleep in their own rooms as I was.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[TrophyHusband 0]

we didn't have this problem, both of our boys started sleeping in their own room at 3 or 4 weeks. i think he does need to stand up. just because a woman becomes a mommy doesn't mean she can stop being a wife. it is definately in the best interest of the child for mom and dad to have a healthy relationship. bedtime for children in our house has been set so that my boys get plenty of time with mommy and i still get alone time with her before she falls asleep.

"Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama
www.kjandmegan.com

[misskriss 0]

We have Willem's crib in our bedroom and everynight we end up bringing him in bed with us. He's four months old and I can't imagine it any other way. All of my children shared the bed as infants and all eventually left for their own beds/rooms just fine. A 3 month old is still waking quite frequently and he should be near his mama at night.

This has not affected our "love life" at all. There are other places and times besides the bed to have sex.


http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/bed.html

This is a good article--- different strokes for different folks, I know. This is just how we like it and doesn't mean it is better than anyone elses decision. It just works for us.

[tbrown 26]

Quote

Unless a woman is breast feeding, I really don't see any reason why the kids should sleep in the parent's bed. I saw this couple on tv. The woman said, "my children need me more than he does right now." With that attitide, this marriage won't last.

We kept both of our kids in bed with us for their first year. Helped my wife a lot with feeding, she could just "plug them in" and doze off. I don't remember any real problems with moving them out of the bed either. But anything past a year is getting into dangerous territory. Parents cannot let kids rule the roost, the marriage is the primary relationship.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[jumpergirl 0]

Quote

We have Willem's crib in our bedroom and everynight we end up bringing him in bed with us. He's four months old and I can't imagine it any other way. All of my children shared the bed as infants and all eventually left for their own beds/rooms just fine. A 3 month old is still waking quite frequently and he should be near his mama at night.

This has not affected our "love life" at all. There are other places and times besides the bed to have sex.

You sound alot like a friend of mine. Their daughter is 4 and JUST RECENTLY started sleeping in another room. Recently as in the last 3 months or so. I totally disagree with it, but I'm not a mom so I can't relate 100%.

[misskriss 0]

Quote

Their daughter is 4

Four would be a bit much for me too...LOL Usually end of first year or first half of second.

[FallinWoman 1]

Quote

My divorce fixed my broken family. Being a single parent home does not make a broken family. Being a single parent is hard but being in a marriage where the other person hinders the healthy development of the children is what causes a broken family. Not the act of divorce.

While I agree that divorce in a case like this may be best for the children in the long run, they are still from a broken family. They are living without one of their parents, and that is the definition of broken family. There is a hole in their hearts that you cannot fill alone, nor can a step-father. Lesser of two evil maybe, but still a broken family.

My daughter is in that situation. She lives with me and Skymedic full time. She has not seen her mother in almost two years. I am the day to day mom, but there is a hole I cannot fill for her. She understands that her mom is blowing her off, and it hurts her.

~Anne

I'm a Doll!!!!