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SkydiveStMarys

Answering Machine..outgoing message.

By SkydiveStMarys, in The Bonfire

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SkydiveStMarys    0

SkydiveStMarys
So I called my friends land line and this is the message I got when she didn't pick up the phone, and yes, I had to call few times to get the whole thing down on paper..........

Hello you have reached the police department voicemail

pay close attention as we update the choices often as new and unusal circumstances occur.

Please select from the following options

To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created
Press 1

Toinquire as to whether someone has to die before we will do something about it
Press 2

To report an Officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying to keep you neighborhood safe.
Press 3

If you would like us to raise your children
Press 4

If you would like us to take control of your life due to your chemical dependency
Press 5

If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate
Press 6

To provide a list of Officers you personnaly know so we will not take enforcement action agaist you
Press 7

To sue us or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge or to proclaim our career is over
Press 8

To whine about a ticket or complain about the many other uses for the police rather than keeping your dumb ass in line
Press 9

Please note you call may be monitered to ensure proper customer support and remember were here to save your butts not kiss them

Thanks for calling your local Police department and have a nice day.



Anyone else have a great out going message?


Bobbi
A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

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PLFXpert    0

PLFXpert
Quote

So lets put it this way...what is your out going message on any of the phones that you may or may not use?



Mine is the standard, "Hello, you've reached Carrie. I'm sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message, and I will return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."

Now that I think about it, though, why am I so sorry and why am I pleasing & thanking people?:S

I think I'll make a few minor changes: "Hello, you've reached Carrie. I'm so glad I missed your call. Leave a message, and I'll return your call as soon as I feel like it." Beep:P

The latter is more honest and I'm all about that;)
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

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turtlespeed    212

turtlespeed
Quote

Quote

So lets put it this way...what is your out going message on any of the phones that you may or may not use?



Mine is the standard, "Hello, you've reached Carrie. I'm sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message, and I will return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."

Now that I think about it, though, why am I so sorry and why am I pleasing & thanking people?:S

I think I'll make a few minor changes: "Hello, you've reached Carrie. I'm so glad I missed your call. Leave a message, and I'll return your call as soon as I feel like it." Beep:P

The latter is more honest and I'm all about that;)



Just try - "Look - you knew i probably wasn't going to be here, if you didn't then why the hell are you calling anyway. I really only want to talk to those in whom I trust the knowlegde of my whereabouts."Beep!
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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PLFXpert    0

PLFXpert
:P

I'm probably one of the few girls who really can't stand talking on the phone>:( It gets all hot on your ear, or the ear piece is annoying and there's always a good song on when they call, or I'm already driving and drinking my latte, so I'm forced to hold the phone between my cheek and my shoulder and face sideways, or....(just kidding about that last one---OK, once:P)

Seriously....I have the least expensive plan with the unlimited nights & weekends and free LD---so I call the fam on the weekends (after I've had a cocktail or two) and my friends send me an e-mail or give me just a quick call to tell me, "I'm coming into town and you better keep the dates open, bitch.":D I love my friends;) They know how keep a lasting friendship with me. I'm not exactly the queen of keeping in touch, so if I make even the slightest effort they know they're special:)
Is that bad?[:/]

F*ck it:)
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

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AggieDave    6

AggieDave
Remember those answering machine outgoing message cassette tapes you could buy in the 80's? With little songs and such, where it would be a different message everytime someone called due to a number of them being on the tape?

To the music of Beethoven's 5th:

No body's hommmmmmmmmme
No body's hommmmmmmmmme
Nobodyshome nobodyshome no bodys home..


That's the only one I can remember being on the tapes.
--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

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PLFXpert    0

PLFXpert
What about George's Seinfield message to the American Hero theme:

Believe it or not, George is not home, so leave a message after the beep.
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
Where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home.

:D
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

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MitchyB    0

MitchyB
my aunt and uncle used to have an outgoing message that went something like this.

if your trying to reach sandi she's busy in the bathroom right now. she likes going up adn down and up and down, and if your trying to reach larry he's busy too. he likes going from side to side. up and down side to side. So leave a message and as soon as we're done brushing our teeth we'll call you back!

something to that affect, they've changed it long ago so i'm going off memory

--------------------------------------------------

Do you have a steak? i'll take it!

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skymama    35

skymama
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You mean people still have land lines?



I do because I like my kids to have access to a house phone when they are home alone and because the land line was the only type of phone that worked after the hurricanes. Money well spent to me!
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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livendive    8

livendive
Mine's currently a total bore because I was waiting to hear from a potential employer. I think tonight I'll change it back to it's previous level of dorkiness...

[really excited Bob Barker voice]Hi! This is Dave and you're the next contestant on Dave's VoiceMail!!!! Although giddiness and irresistable urges to scream, clap, and jump around are common and somewhat expected, all you really need to do is leave a message...after the beep.[/really excited Bob Barker voice]

[high-speed radio guy voice]No purchase necessary. Offer valid in all 50 states. Odds of winning a return call are slim and vary based on the quality and quantity of voicemails received........Thank you for playing.[/high-speed radio guy voice]

[beeeeeep]

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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SkydiveStMarys    0

SkydiveStMarys
This was quite a few years ago, but I was dating a guy that was in the process of getting a Divorce...on his answering machine I put this out going message.


Mark can't get to the phone right now, he is tied up, and I don't feel like untieing him right now...leave a message and maybe I'll let him call you back if, and ONLY if, he has been a good boy.;)


Oooh was his soon to be exwife hot!!:D:D:D

Bobbi
A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

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turtlespeed    212

turtlespeed
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My niece, she is 15, her outgoing message is great...

Hers is...
Hi! How are ya? Good and you? Really, whats new? Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!




:D:D:D:D:D

Bobbi



A while ago I had one that went something like this . . .

Hello? What? I can't hear you . . . Oh Hi! How are you . . . hold on just a second . . . better yet - leave a message at the tone.:ph34r:
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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MitchyB    0

MitchyB
Quote

This was quite a few years ago, but I was dating a guy that was in the process of getting a Divorce...on his answering machine I put this out going message.


Mark can't get to the phone right now, he is tied up, and I don't feel like untieing him right now...leave a message and maybe I'll let him call you back if, and ONLY if, he has been a good boy.;)


HAHAHA i love it:D


--------------------------------------------------

Do you have a steak? i'll take it!

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SkydiveStMarys    0

SkydiveStMarys
I thought it was good too...needless to say exwifey pooh didn't think it was funny and the grief that it cause, then BF, he had a hard time finding the humor in it too...

Thats probably why I booted him to the curb.



:D:D;)

Bobbi
A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

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