FrflyPimpDaddy 0 #1 June 14, 2007 So I dated this girl back in college for a while. She dropped off the face of the earth and never contacted me. Now, 6 years later I get a letter requesting a paternity test. Well, it turns out the little bugger is mine. She's coming around now asking for money. I want to get custody of my kid, but I know she'll never go for it. She's just looking to reach into my pocket for child support. So....anyone know how to find a good legal representative? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_Copland 0 #2 June 14, 2007 I couldn't even finish reading it through laughter when i saw your screen name pimpdaddy 1338 People aint made of nothin' but water and shit. Until morale improves, the beatings will continue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littleskycrab 0 #3 June 14, 2007 Call the BAR Association in your state and ask for a referral to an Attorney that practices Family Law. one question: why would you want to "get custody" of a child you've never met and really know nothing about? did you mean "get visitation"?Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #4 June 14, 2007 Your local bar association probably has contacts if you don't already know someone in the legal field. You might also do a Google search to see which lawyers in the area may have written some recent family law articles. It doesn't MEAN that they are good lawyers, but if they are publishing articles on a topic they probably know the area fairly well. You might also check with some of the local law schools to see if any of their professors are practicing attorneys in this field. Even if they can't help you themselves, they might have some good recommendations.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #5 June 14, 2007 QuoteSo I dated this girl back in college for a while. She dropped off the face of the earth and never contacted me. Now, 6 years later I get a letter requesting a paternity test. Well, it turns out the little bugger is mine. She's coming around now asking for money. I want to get custody of my kid, but I know she'll never go for it. She's just looking to reach into my pocket for child support. So....anyone know how to find a good legal representative? Try Here I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #6 June 14, 2007 How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Drop your pants and bend over. First person to run up and shove it in your ass... most likely a lawyer. (If they use lube, maybe they just thought you were cute.. No Lube, Most likely a Lawyer.) Seriously.. Get ready to hand over between 17% to 23% of your GROSS income for the next 12 years or so. Yes, she may be able to hit you for back child support too even though you didn’t know you had a child. As for custody.. Forget it. You may get some visitation rights but beyond that is next to impossible for a male to get custody in most states. BTW in most states Child support and Visitation are completely separate issues and not related at all. Lawyers will gladly take all the money you are wiling to throw at them but none of this will have any effect other than you will get just screwed by the court AND your lawyer. (If I sound a little bitter it is because I have been dealing with this for 15 years now) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #7 June 14, 2007 Quote Try Here Oddly, a google search for "Dad's rights" returns very few hits. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #8 June 14, 2007 QuoteHow do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #9 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Try Here Oddly, a google search for "Dad's rights" returns very few hits. Blues, Dave But Father's Rights is supposed to be a good orginization and have helped alot of guys.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites livendive 8 #10 June 14, 2007 If dad has a stable home and decent financial security and mom doesn't, the courts will usually see fit to rectify that disparity through the transfer of money rather than the transfer of custody. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #11 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #12 June 14, 2007 QuoteHow do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) I can neither confirm nor deny this statement. QuoteDrop your pants and bend over. This can get a person in trouble. The original poster has found this out. QuoteFirst person to run up and shove it in your ass... most likely a lawyer. (If they use lube, maybe they just thought you were cute.. No Lube, Most likely a Lawyer.) No lube could also mean a cowboy. If he is wearing a sandpaper condom, then it's probably a lawyer. But in all seriousness, there's not much of a chance for you avoiding paying something. Contrary to Thanatos's statements, visitation/custody and support are usually related, because the amount of money you spend on child support is usually related to the amount fo visitation and custody. A lawyer likely won't do you much good in a pure child support action. I personally don't take those cases because I can't really do anything with them. But ask for a child custody and visitation order. You're the dad, and therefore you should have the opportunity to get to know your kid. Visitation will be minimal and supervised at first. Once the child becomes comfortable and adjusts to the new person it gets gradually increased. I personally think that a lot of this can be handled yourself. Look to a self-help center at the courthouse. Dad's have responsibilities AND rights. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jewels 0 #13 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust? Hey, I gave you full disclosure.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #14 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust? Hey, I gave you full disclosure. Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jewels 0 #15 June 14, 2007 Quote Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors. You know, it's just costing you more the more you argue with me about this. TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Thanatos340 1 #16 June 14, 2007 QuoteContrary to Thanatos's statements, visitation/custody and support are usually related, because the amount of money you spend on child support is usually related to the amount fo visitation and custody. Every state is different. Georgia specifically say they are NOT related at all. My brother managed to do the impossible and get custody of his two kids, His ex never paid a dime of support. When he tried to block visitation, Court told him No way!! Child support is not connected to Visitation. Totally separate here. Joint or shared custody would be different as Time spent with each parent does help determine the amount of support paid, But my comment was in reference to one parent NOT paying and then expecting to still see the child. I was in the OP`s exact situation 16 years ago. Never married, No longer involved when the pregnancy was discovered. I filed a "Petition to Legitimize" and requested that the court set child Support and visitation at that time. QuoteDad's have responsibilities AND rights. Spoken like someone that hasn’t been through the system. Mom wants to move 1000 miles away and take the kids? NO problem. dad can see the child as long as they pick up and drop off the child at Moms new house as scheduled. Glenn Stacks is one fathers rights activist http://www.glennsacks.com/ but he is a little too radical for even me, but to read some of the cases he is working with is just sick. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #17 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors. You know, it's just costing you more the more you argue with me about this. I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jewels 0 #18 June 14, 2007 That's why getting someone into the loop locally is important. States DO approach things differently, and getting local counsel is the best way to get a realistic view of how it works in your jurisdiction.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jewels 0 #19 June 14, 2007 Quote I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will. Oh, glory. That poor receptionist gets the worst from all sides!! TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #20 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will. Oh, glory. That poor receptionist gets the worst from all sides!! God I hope so - she's HOT.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Thanatos340 1 #21 June 14, 2007 QuoteThat's why getting someone into the loop locally is important. States DO approach things differently, and getting local counsel is the best way to get a realistic view of how it works in your jurisdiction. I agree. I was just trying to prepare him for the screwing he is about to get. My Prediction: lawyer is going to want a retainer, The Ex will get Support set (roughly 20% of his gross income). He may get some visitation rights. The ex will then go after Back Child support.. The Lawyer will then want a Bigger Retainer The EX will win and get most everything she wants and he will just be out alot of money. Welcome to our Great Justice system. Sounds like he needs to buy stock in KY and keep plenty on hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CaptainOKaos 0 #22 June 14, 2007 Don't know if this field of specialty is covered in his own personal practice- Forte' but if not I'd certainly trust him to recommend one. However... How do I find a good lawyer? Browse in the Speakers Corner, as well as here & give a Shout out for Lawrocket! Great Guy... Great Lawyer!You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites normiss 622 #23 June 14, 2007 when they were taking 52% of my income I would have gladly given (more) flesh for 20%. That was with no arears at all...never got behind. Until the state department of revenue, child support services got involved anyway.them and the "fees" and how the fuck do I get behind when YOU take it out of my paycheck before I get paid?????just another attempt by the man to try and keep a brother down! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CaptainOKaos 0 #24 June 14, 2007 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ And Fame.............................................. Ask any celebrity that's gotten away with things the rest of us would swing for, including murder! You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flygrrrl95 0 #25 June 14, 2007 Since you're asking simply how to find a good lawyer and not how to solve your problem, I would suggest calling some lawyers from the phonebook who you know (from the advertisements) don't practice family law and ask them for recommendations. Attorneys know other attorneys and refer business to each other all the time. Make some calls, ask around, if you're lucky, the same name might pop up a couple times. If the attorney doesn't practice family law, it seems more likely you'll get a decent lead since they aren't trying to get your business for themselves. Make sure the attorney has a bit of time under their belt as a family law attorney. New attorneys, like me, don't tend to know the system as well although they can usually still handle cases very comptently. Also, talk to a few attorneys before picking one. Make sure you feel like you can talk to them and like the way they deal with you. 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turtlespeed 212 #9 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Try Here Oddly, a google search for "Dad's rights" returns very few hits. Blues, Dave But Father's Rights is supposed to be a good orginization and have helped alot of guys.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #10 June 14, 2007 If dad has a stable home and decent financial security and mom doesn't, the courts will usually see fit to rectify that disparity through the transfer of money rather than the transfer of custody. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #11 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #12 June 14, 2007 QuoteHow do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) I can neither confirm nor deny this statement. QuoteDrop your pants and bend over. This can get a person in trouble. The original poster has found this out. QuoteFirst person to run up and shove it in your ass... most likely a lawyer. (If they use lube, maybe they just thought you were cute.. No Lube, Most likely a Lawyer.) No lube could also mean a cowboy. If he is wearing a sandpaper condom, then it's probably a lawyer. But in all seriousness, there's not much of a chance for you avoiding paying something. Contrary to Thanatos's statements, visitation/custody and support are usually related, because the amount of money you spend on child support is usually related to the amount fo visitation and custody. A lawyer likely won't do you much good in a pure child support action. I personally don't take those cases because I can't really do anything with them. But ask for a child custody and visitation order. You're the dad, and therefore you should have the opportunity to get to know your kid. Visitation will be minimal and supervised at first. Once the child becomes comfortable and adjusts to the new person it gets gradually increased. I personally think that a lot of this can be handled yourself. Look to a self-help center at the courthouse. Dad's have responsibilities AND rights. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #13 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust? Hey, I gave you full disclosure.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #14 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Quote How do You find a Lawyer? (No such thing as a "Good" lawyer) Hey!!! There are a few of us on here who aren't inherently evil. We work up to it. What was it that Sartre posted the other day? Trust? Hey, I gave you full disclosure. Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #15 June 14, 2007 Quote Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors. You know, it's just costing you more the more you argue with me about this. TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #16 June 14, 2007 QuoteContrary to Thanatos's statements, visitation/custody and support are usually related, because the amount of money you spend on child support is usually related to the amount fo visitation and custody. Every state is different. Georgia specifically say they are NOT related at all. My brother managed to do the impossible and get custody of his two kids, His ex never paid a dime of support. When he tried to block visitation, Court told him No way!! Child support is not connected to Visitation. Totally separate here. Joint or shared custody would be different as Time spent with each parent does help determine the amount of support paid, But my comment was in reference to one parent NOT paying and then expecting to still see the child. I was in the OP`s exact situation 16 years ago. Never married, No longer involved when the pregnancy was discovered. I filed a "Petition to Legitimize" and requested that the court set child Support and visitation at that time. QuoteDad's have responsibilities AND rights. Spoken like someone that hasn’t been through the system. Mom wants to move 1000 miles away and take the kids? NO problem. dad can see the child as long as they pick up and drop off the child at Moms new house as scheduled. Glenn Stacks is one fathers rights activist http://www.glennsacks.com/ but he is a little too radical for even me, but to read some of the cases he is working with is just sick. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #17 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote Lawyers never disclose fully! They always hold something back - usually in the billing . . .and then a little while later, you end up with another bill for residuals. I think they should have to bid on the work, like contractors. You know, it's just costing you more the more you argue with me about this. I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #18 June 14, 2007 That's why getting someone into the loop locally is important. States DO approach things differently, and getting local counsel is the best way to get a realistic view of how it works in your jurisdiction.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #19 June 14, 2007 Quote I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will. Oh, glory. That poor receptionist gets the worst from all sides!! TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #20 June 14, 2007 Quote Quote I always wanted to go into my attorney's office and hand them the bill, and face away from the recetionist and ask if I could at least get a reach-around. On day - one day i will. Oh, glory. That poor receptionist gets the worst from all sides!! God I hope so - she's HOT.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #21 June 14, 2007 QuoteThat's why getting someone into the loop locally is important. States DO approach things differently, and getting local counsel is the best way to get a realistic view of how it works in your jurisdiction. I agree. I was just trying to prepare him for the screwing he is about to get. My Prediction: lawyer is going to want a retainer, The Ex will get Support set (roughly 20% of his gross income). He may get some visitation rights. The ex will then go after Back Child support.. The Lawyer will then want a Bigger Retainer The EX will win and get most everything she wants and he will just be out alot of money. Welcome to our Great Justice system. Sounds like he needs to buy stock in KY and keep plenty on hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainOKaos 0 #22 June 14, 2007 Don't know if this field of specialty is covered in his own personal practice- Forte' but if not I'd certainly trust him to recommend one. However... How do I find a good lawyer? Browse in the Speakers Corner, as well as here & give a Shout out for Lawrocket! Great Guy... Great Lawyer!You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #23 June 14, 2007 when they were taking 52% of my income I would have gladly given (more) flesh for 20%. That was with no arears at all...never got behind. Until the state department of revenue, child support services got involved anyway.them and the "fees" and how the fuck do I get behind when YOU take it out of my paycheck before I get paid?????just another attempt by the man to try and keep a brother down! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainOKaos 0 #24 June 14, 2007 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ And Fame.............................................. Ask any celebrity that's gotten away with things the rest of us would swing for, including murder! You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygrrrl95 0 #25 June 14, 2007 Since you're asking simply how to find a good lawyer and not how to solve your problem, I would suggest calling some lawyers from the phonebook who you know (from the advertisements) don't practice family law and ask them for recommendations. Attorneys know other attorneys and refer business to each other all the time. Make some calls, ask around, if you're lucky, the same name might pop up a couple times. If the attorney doesn't practice family law, it seems more likely you'll get a decent lead since they aren't trying to get your business for themselves. Make sure the attorney has a bit of time under their belt as a family law attorney. New attorneys, like me, don't tend to know the system as well although they can usually still handle cases very comptently. Also, talk to a few attorneys before picking one. Make sure you feel like you can talk to them and like the way they deal with you. Good Luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
