futuredivot 0 #1 February 14, 2008 No. 1 DON'T tell your girlfriend that this has been “one of the best” Valentine’s you’ve ever had. She won’t see that as a compliment. No. 2 DON'T celebrate your special night by ordering tequila shots – Valentine’s is already poignant enough without inviting Jose Cuervo to the party! Angry shouting and upchucking that expensive dinner you paid for do not a romantic evening make. No. 3 DON'T try to “avoid the rush.” There’s no such thing as a romantic 4:00 PM dinner (unless you’re over 65). No. 4 DON'T try to slip how much you spent on her gift into the conversation. She already know the going rate for cubic zirconia, dude. No. 5 DON'T Forget to compliment your wife or girlfriend on her Valentine’s ensemble. Compliment her dress, her hair, her shoes, her nails, her makeup, her jewelry, her fingers, her toes, her kneecaps, her kidneys, etc. Just keep complimenting No. 6 DON'T willingly engage in any conversation during which your wife/girlfriend addresses you by your real name. If she calls you “Honey,” or “Sweetheart,” or even “Papi,” you’re good to go. But any conversation that starts with “Michael, I need to ask you a question…” is a potential minefield. No. 7 DON'T take your Valentine to an NC-17 movie, even if it’s foreign and/or artsy. On a night like this, the only naked body you should be admiring is hers. No. 8 DON'T be your usual, too-cool-to-wear-nice-clothes self. No need to buy a new suit, but come on man – maybe tonight isn’t the night for your “iconic” Dukes of Hazard t-shirt. No. 9 DON'T order tequila shots. Do you hear me? I’m not kidding about this! No. 10 DON'T play mood music that’s sexier than you are. If you’re not 100% certain you can provide genuine “sexual healing,” leave Marvin Gaye up on the shelf. Every man’s got to know his limitations.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #2 February 14, 2008 My gal took me to see "Blackhawk Down" on Valentines Day one year. No chick flick required for her, she f-ing rocks. She also says "Skip the flowers. They're always over priced." She's pretty dang smart. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #3 February 14, 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfPydr2em0A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #4 February 14, 2008 Quote My gal took me to see "Blackhawk Down" on Valentines Day one year. No chick flick required for her, she f-ing rocks. She also says "Skip the flowers. They're always over priced." She's pretty dang smart. If you get them from a florist, yeah they're overpriced. If you look hard enough at the grocery store, you'll find a nice bouquet for less than $20. This time however, my wife's getting a sterling silver locket necklace with a pic of me on one side and the little girl on the other side. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #5 February 14, 2008 That's a strange list.. I can't say I agree with a single thing. Who came up with all of these arbitrary rules? Tequila shots not sexy? What!! "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 February 14, 2008 Quote I can't say I agree with a single thing. Who came up with all of these arbitrary rules? Tequila shots not sexy? What!! And that's why we all love you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #7 February 14, 2008 Quote[If you look hard enough at the grocery store, you'll find a nice bouquet for less than $20. Swing past the cemetary and they're cheaper than thatYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lauraliscious 0 #8 February 14, 2008 Quote That's a strange list.. I can't say I agree with a single thing. Who came up with all of these arbitrary rules? Tequila shots not sexy? What!! I agree, I Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vskydiver 0 #9 February 14, 2008 Quote This time however, my wife's getting a sterling silver locket necklace with a pic of me on one side and the little girl on the other side. That is the most wonderful V-day gift ever! I'm sure your wife will love it. (I still say skip the flowers.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AirWhore 0 #10 February 14, 2008 Quote Quote That's a strange list.. I can't say I agree with a single thing. Who came up with all of these arbitrary rules? Tequila shots not sexy? What!! I agree, I Hmmmm Looks like i'll be stopping by the liquor store on my way homeGet ready for the romance babe!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lauraliscious 0 #11 February 14, 2008 If you're going to get tequila for V-day, just be sure to pick up the limes and salt too!!! A girl can't shoot tequila properly without limes and salt! Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #12 February 14, 2008 Quote Quote [If you look hard enough at the grocery store, you'll find a nice bouquet for less than $20. Swing past the cemetary and they're cheaper than that Now that's just mean. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ltdiver 3 #13 February 14, 2008 Quote Quote [If you look hard enough at the grocery store, you'll find a nice bouquet for less than $20. Swing past the cemetary and they're cheaper than that You related to my cousin?! (not kidding, he did this for a gift for his girlfriend once. Robbed a cemetery of their flowers. Hey, they were mowing the next day and would have killed them anyway (he said) ). ltdiver Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
