sgoltry853 0 #1 October 1, 2008 So I got a call tonight from one of my best friends. She's been "dating" someone she met on one of those online dating sites in July. I say "dating" because they haven't actually met in person--he's out of state in the military. It was weird enough that they considered themselves to be in a relationship without ever meeting, but tonight she announced that they're getting married . Sure, they're going to have a nice long engagement and get married next summer. The only problem is that between now and then, he will be home for a MAXIMUM of three and a half weeks. Yes, that's right, she's planning to marry someone that she'll have only been around for three weeks. She assured me, though, that she's not one of those girls to fall head over heels for someone and throw all sense of logic out the window... yeah right! How can people be that dumb? I really wanted to tell her what a horrible idea the whole thing is, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to hear the voice of reason at this point. Any thoughts on how to tell a close friend they're making a big mistake? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #2 October 1, 2008 Just be honest with your friend. Tell him you think he's making a mistake marrying someone off the internet without having spent a lot of time with in person, but if he really wants to do it, you can't stop him and you're just going to have to let him fuck up and learn from his mistake. Something like that."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #3 October 1, 2008 QuoteJust be honest with your friend. Tell him you think he's making a mistake marrying someone off the internet without having spent a lot of time with in person, but if he really wants to do it, you can't stop him and you're just going to have to let him fuck up and learn from his mistake. Something like that. Him? I read the post twice. am I missing something?I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #4 October 1, 2008 I understand your concerns, but I think you are being a bit judgemental. I am not saying I would advise marriage in that situation, but it is possible to really know someone without having 'been around' them 24/7. That is probably a point you could argue all day long, but in the end I don't think anyones mind will be changed. I think your friend may be more receptive to the two of you discussing your concerns rather than telling her she is an idiot. In the end it is her decision to make - your only decision is whether to be the good friend and be there when it goes bad(or good) or not.Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sgoltry853 0 #5 October 1, 2008 I definitely am not going to tell her I think she's an idiot. I'm just venting those feelings on here--a forum I know she'll never read. If I do voice any of my concerns, I will do it in a way that is as caring and unoffensive as possible. I'm just not sure there is an unoffensive way to tell her I think she's making a mistake. So instead I was the good friend and congratulated her and told her how happy I am for her... even though in the back of my mind I don't think she's thought things through. Edit: And I agree that two people can definitely get to know each other on a very deep level without being together '24/7'. I also think that being together in person is totally different than e-mailing or chatting on the phone. Therefore I question how well she can really know this guy (again... they have NEVER met). Maybe that's me being judgmental, but I'd tend to think it's just logical. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #6 October 1, 2008 QuoteHim? I read the post twice. am I missing something? No, that's just how Billy thinks of relationships-it's probably the ballroom gownYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #7 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Just be honest with your friend. Tell him you think he's making a mistake marrying someone off the internet without having spent a lot of time with in person, but if he really wants to do it, you can't stop him and you're just going to have to let him fuck up and learn from his mistake. Something like that. Him? I read the post twice. am I missing something? Duh, my reading comprehension skills took a dive tonight... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #8 October 1, 2008 She may or may not have thought things through - just the same 'online' as in person. Are there specific concerns you think she has overlooked, if so you could maybe approach it as you are worried about X and see how she responds. She may have thought about it. She may not have. She may be just as freaked out but for any myriad of reasons jumping at this opportunity. Sometimes the hard friend talks hurt - sometimes it comes down to are you telling them what they want to hear or are you telling the truth.Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #9 October 1, 2008 She's agreeing to marry somoeone without "test driving" them first? I could see if she was "dickmatized" but they haven't even met in person yet? Ugh. Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? BTW - Maybe she's seen his ummmm "rig" on a webcam and that's why she's doing it. Just kidding. Kinda.... Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #10 October 1, 2008 Quote She's agreeing to marry somoeone without "test driving" them first? I could see if she was "dickmatized" but they haven't even met in person yet? Ugh. Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? BTW - Maybe she's seen his ummmm "rig" on a webcam and that's why she's doing it. Just kidding. Kinda.... You need to get laid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sgoltry853 0 #11 October 1, 2008 I really laughed out loud at your suggestion. I failed to mention how extremely conservative my friend is. 'Test driving' before marriage would definitely be out of the question, and I think she'd have a heart attack upon sight of a sex toy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #12 October 1, 2008 QuoteCan you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #13 October 1, 2008 QuoteI really laughed out loud at your suggestion. I failed to mention how extremely conservative my friend is. 'Test driving' before marriage would definitely be out of the question, and I think she'd have a heart attack upon sight of a sex toy. How old is she? I take it she's had a very sheltered and naive life?"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #14 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #15 October 1, 2008 I don't think you're being judgemental at all. That's a pretty fucking dumb idea. Use all of the online dating sites you want, but you're not "dating" if you've never met the person. Just wait until they meet in person. It might all blow over when that happens. Also ... he might die before they meet in person, so I wouldn't lose any sleep over this just yet.Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #16 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? Don't trip just because I'm cooler than you because I have a Rabbit. lol .. I mean damn, it comes with a ten year warranty.Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sgoltry853 0 #17 October 1, 2008 She's 21 (so is her future husband). And yes, sheltered would be a pretty good description of her. We both graduated from a very tiny, religious school. She just took everything they taught to heart a little bit more than I did. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #18 October 1, 2008 Quote She's 21 (so is her future husband). And yes, sheltered would be a pretty good description of her. We both graduated from a very tiny, religious school. She just took everything they taught to heart a little bit more than I did. Oh holy shit ... Like I tell my sister ... You shouldn't consider marriage before 30. The less time you spend with a person before you die, the less likey you are to become divorced :)Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #19 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? Don't trip just because I'm cooler than you because I have a Rabbit. lol .. I mean damn, it comes with a ten year warranty. And , what do you do with this rabbit.. Anthony? I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #20 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? Don't trip just because I'm cooler than you because I have a Rabbit. lol .. I mean damn, it comes with a ten year warranty. And , what do you do with this rabbit.. Anthony? It's a corkscrew dude ... You open bottles of wine with it.Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #21 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote She's agreeing to marry somoeone without "test driving" them first? I could see if she was "dickmatized" but they haven't even met in person yet? Ugh. Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? BTW - Maybe she's seen his ummmm "rig" on a webcam and that's why she's doing it. Just kidding. Kinda.... You need to get laid. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #22 October 1, 2008 Quote I really laughed out loud at your suggestion. I failed to mention how extremely conservative my friend is. 'Test driving' before marriage would definitely be out of the question, and I think she'd have a heart attack upon sight of a sex toy. Well, then please disregard my vulgar suggestion. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #23 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? Don't trip just because I'm cooler than you because I have a Rabbit. lol .. I mean damn, it comes with a ten year warranty. And , what do you do with this rabbit.. Anthony? It's a corkscrew dude ... You open bottles of wine with it. Allrighty then... I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #24 October 1, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Can you buy her a Rabbit and tell her to think it over some more?? I have a Rabbit ... http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=159350&PartnerID=FROOGLE&BannerID=PD677 WTF?? Don't trip just because I'm cooler than you because I have a Rabbit. lol .. I mean damn, it comes with a ten year warranty. And , what do you do with this rabbit.. Anthony? It's a corkscrew dude ... You open bottles of wine with it. Allrighty then... No .. You can't borrow it!Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #25 October 1, 2008 If she's so conservative, why is she considering marriage with someone she's never seen in 3D? :) Maybe she's the one who needs to get laid (in response to whoever it was that said you need to get laid)Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
