spindlee 0 #1 January 4, 2009 I'll start the ball rolling... My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead. If in doubt, whip it out... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gearless_chris 1 #2 January 4, 2009 I'm pretty sure this is the worst I know. Three guys drinking in a bar. An American, a Mexican, and a Arabian. The Arabian stands up, drinks his shot, throws his glass in the air and shoots it with his pistol. He says,"I come from Saudi Arabia, we have so much money we never have to drink from the same glass twice." The Mexican does his shot, throws his glass in the air, shoots it, and says,"I come from Mexico, we have so much sand we can make as many glasses as we want, we never have to drink from the same glass twice." The American does his shot, throws his glass in the air, shoots the Mexican, and says, "I come from America, we have so many Mexicans we never have to drink with the same one twice.""If it wasn't easy stupid people couldn't do it", Duane. My momma said I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, so I became an a$$hole. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #3 January 4, 2009 I don't think you could have fucked up that joke any more than you did. Think! Saudi.. sand.. Psst.. The American shoots them both.. I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #4 January 4, 2009 Okay, I'll bite ... and try AGAIN if anyone wants to play along .... NICELY... Knock knock??? .'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #5 January 4, 2009 come in.. I kid.. Who's there?I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #6 January 4, 2009 What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #7 January 4, 2009 Quotecome in.. I kid.. Who's there? Now you have to play along .... smell mop .'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #8 January 4, 2009 Quote What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies!!! 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #9 January 4, 2009 what kinda bird doesnt fly?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #10 January 4, 2009 correct! smell mop who? I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No_Phear 0 #11 January 4, 2009 Quotesmell mop . Smell mop who? (Smellmypoo) Tact is not my specialty..... Dirty Sanchez #453 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #12 January 4, 2009 Quote correct! smell mop who? Doesn't that bring out the 12 year old in you!!! 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #13 January 4, 2009 Quote Quote come in.. I kid.. Who's there? Now you have to play along .... Nope they don't play along. smell mop . I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No_Phear 0 #14 January 4, 2009 If a Stork brings a baby, what kind of bird takes a baby away? Tact is not my specialty..... Dirty Sanchez #453 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #15 January 4, 2009 Quotewhat kinda bird doesnt fly? A jail bird???'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #16 January 4, 2009 QuoteIf a Stork brings a baby, what kind of bird takes a baby away? A swallow.'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taylor.freefall 0 #17 January 4, 2009 What's 12 inches long and you'd hate to find next to your daughters bed? Gary Glitters shoes... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #18 January 4, 2009 Swallow..I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No_Phear 0 #19 January 4, 2009 QuoteQuoteIf a Stork brings a baby, what kind of bird takes a baby away? A swallow. BINGO! Tact is not my specialty..... Dirty Sanchez #453 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taylor.freefall 0 #20 January 4, 2009 (The Brits will most probably get this one). Thank god Micheal Jacksons only dangling kids off balcony's... He's normally tossing them off... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #21 January 4, 2009 QuoteQuotewhat kinda bird doesnt fly? A jail bird??? damn, you got that too fast"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #22 January 4, 2009 What do men and buses have in common?Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #23 January 4, 2009 Something close to... If you miss one, another one will be here in 15 minutes?I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #24 January 4, 2009 cheap rides?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #25 January 4, 2009 QuoteSomething close to... If you miss one, another one will be here in 15 minutes? Nope. They both come to a complete stop just when you're about to get off. Here's another dumb one. Why don't people eat bugs?Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
