what would you do!?

[virgin-burner 1]

i dont want to be too specific about this, but..

say, there was this place you really liked, nice people for the most part, something to do you really enjoy..

but there's this one guy there, that takes all the fun out of it, you kinda get used to him, you dont care, the positives outweigh the negatives.. kinda! every time you go, he proves to be an asshole over and over again, whatever you do, he'll sure find a way to get at you again.. and it stretches out to personal decisions or personal life. fucks up your relationships to other people and so on..

many people dont go there anymore because of it. they choose another place for that activity, be it good or bad..

would you put up with it? would you leave like many others? would you put a restraining order on him, tell him to go suck on a knob or straight punch him in the face!?

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[skydiverbry 0]

Kinda real over generalized here on this subject.

Punching in the nose could lead to some legal ramifications that would not be worth the satifaction of the punch.

Restraining order. is this even a possibility?Is it a public

From the info give I would just ignore the guy totally and and try and enjoy said event/

Bry

--------------------------------------------------
Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!!

D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver)

[virgin-burner 1]

the punching in the face was just figuratively speaking.. restraining order is also not an option.

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[skydiverbry 0]

So,your choice is basically, do not attend or attend and completely ignore the guy!

Bry

How important is this function to you I guess......


Bry

--------------------------------------------------
Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!!

D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver)

[mrwrong 0]

I'd probably take my business elsewhere until THAT guy is removed from his current position....

“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
dudeist skydiver # 19515
Buy quality and cry once!

[virgin-burner 1]

it is important..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[virgin-burner 1]

Quote

I'd probably take my business elsewhere until THAT guy is removed from his current position....

removing is also not an option i suppose, taking business elsewhere is..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[piisfish 135]

Quote

I'd probably take my business elsewhere until THAT guy is removed from his current position....

Well... my guess is that the guy is the BOSS...

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[d_squared431 0]

Basically this is a person who sucks the fun/excitement out of everything and then they make that event or day dreadful. No matter how much you try to ignore the persons disposition with life it brings you down and makes you angry.

That was life with my dad. Not one day went by when he didn't make you feel like shit. Long story short, I no longer speak to him. Without that negative and him constantly making life hell, my life is much better. Life is too short to spend it with people who just want to make your life miserable because they are.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[mrwrong 0]

Well said.... I completely agree....

“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
dudeist skydiver # 19515
Buy quality and cry once!

[Baksteen 84]

Quote

Quote

I'd probably take my business elsewhere until THAT guy is removed from his current position....

Well... my guess is that the guy is the BOSS...

If that's the case, I'd tell him to go F himself and find another place to participate in the undefined activity.
If everyone is walking away from him, they are already hurting him where it hurts - in his wallet.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[davjohns 1]

Sorry, VB. If this guy owns the place, you only have a binary solution. Stay and put up with it or go elsewhere. You might let the guy know why people are going elsewhere, but it is likely he will not care.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[piisfish 135]

Quote

Sorry, VB. If this guy owns the PLACE, you only have a binary solution. Stay and put up with it or go elsewhere. You might let the guy know why people are going elsewhere, but it is likely he will not care.

we're not talking about A specific activity here, just a place which could be any place where you can have fun

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[virgin-burner 1]

that place starts realising they're loosing on people; not only the ones that have joined recently, but also some of the long-timers.. some people that help others out for basically free get pissed off; people that are very good at what they're doing start getting pissed off..

and you're right deedy, just because they feel miserable for whatever reason doesnt give them the right to act this way..

just pisses me off to leave a place i feel so connected to. i dont WANT to go somewhere else, but i also dont want to put up with all that crap; i mean, i'm willing to put up with some crap, but not to the extent it has taken by now..

i said i'm not allowing myself to go there again for a month. silent protest if you want. probably nobody will notice anyway, but i tried the talking, i tried buying the beer, i tried being nice, i tried not caring. its not working!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Wharewaka 0]

Does he have any reasonable friends? Talk to his friends and maybe they can have a word with him. Or tell him he is a problem but stay calm, maybe he will react in a way that seems like he didn't get it or care. But he might have a think about it and change over time.
Be open about the problem so you don't have to feel you are talking behind his back, so be able to stand for everything you say.

I was making fun of a guys accent one summer, it came as a shock when he told me he was not enjoying the place anymore, I thought he was laughing with me...he wasn't.

People can change, they can.

[virgin-burner 1]

i'm trying NOT to talk behind his back, i adressed it more than once with no results.. and nothing is changing.

last year was really bad for all of us, ESPECIALLY that dude. all of us backed him. except for words, i cant remember any action that acknowledged our efforts.

just dont know anymore what to do about it, hence, me asking..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[JohanW 0]

I have had this situation on hand once. I voted with my feet, eventually.

One person can ruin a place.

Johan.
I am. I think.

[virgin-burner 1]

i fear i will have to.. only other place that compares (in my eyes anyway) is a 3 hour drive..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Wharewaka 0]

Hm, yeah. Im not sure I understand, you talked to him, he said he would change but did not? Is greed involved?

3 hour drive does not sound good but maybe it will be well worth it?

Maybe if you where more specific about the problem, like greed, bullying etc?

I

[virgin-burner 1]

nope, i did talk to him about how i feel with no real response whatsoever..

there's many things going on, greed, yes, i think so, bullying, resentment.. i feel i can do whatever i want, i'm getting shit about it. not only me, pretty much everyone. some guys are just passive about it and dont seem to care. i'm pretty good at "reading" people, and no one is taking it lightly..

just recently i wanted to do something on my own; guess who fucked the deal up in the end!? pisses me off to NO end..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[skymama 35]

Have you asked him why he cares so much about your business? Ask in a funny way like, 'Dude, are you in love with me or something? Why do you care what I do?" Say it in front of other people and put him on the spot.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[Wharewaka 0]

Seems hard to fix.

Guess I would drive the 3 hours then....

Download some good podcasts, get a cheap cellphone rate. Learn from the podcasts, like a language and talk on the phone my real friends! 3 hours might fly by fast.

Important not to sit for 3 hours and think that you are forced to drive because of that dick though, then you can just stay and take the shit.

[virgin-burner 1]

thats a VERY good idea andrea, thanks for that suggestion.. and very suitable at that!

if nothing else, it will make me feel better by replying in a funny way and tell him about how i feel once more. usually i'm just way to stunned to bring out another word, yes, i know you wont believe that, VB has no words!? but thats about as accurate as i can (not) express myself on the matter..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[skymama 35]

He will most likely joke it off too or just give you a "fuck you" or something along those lines. That's when you need to press him with, "seriously, dude, I want to know. I don't stick my nose into your shit, so why do you do it to me? Is your self-esteem so low that you have to belittle other people to make yourself feel better about your own shortcomings?'

The key is to not back down with your insistance on wanting an answer, stay calm and controlled in your speaking and to say it in front of friends who will back you up. You're not in high school anymore and it's time for him to grow up and be held accountable in front of his peers.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[MikeJD 0]

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I
Live or die?

...

In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather
Kick in the eye?


Sorry, I know that's not much help - but thanks to your thread I've now got the song stuck in my head and I don't see why I should suffer alone.
Sorry about your situation - hope it gets worked out. In my experience most habitual killjoys are people who've got something making them unhappy and want to spread it around.