Airman1270 0 #101 April 30, 2010 ...Why is said woman pissed off in the 1st place,... _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Many reasons. Control freak for one. Thinks it her place to set up hoops and punish him for not jumping through them. The woman who balks at the suggestion of mutual respect can create havoc in any relationship. Cheers, Jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #102 April 30, 2010 Quote ...Why is said woman pissed off in the 1st place,... _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Many reasons. Control freak for one. Thinks it her place to set up hoops and punish him for not jumping through them. The woman who balks at the suggestion of mutual respect can create havoc in any relationship. Cheers, Jon I REST MY CASE your honour I'm now officially done here.You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airman1270 0 #103 April 30, 2010 I REST MY CASE your honour I'm now officially done here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ And what exactly was your case? I said spouses should treat each other with mutual respect and you felt the need to argue. Don't know what a "Stepford" wife is, but I assume it's a work of fiction. Are you saying that it's unrealistic to expect a wife to respect her husband? Sad to say, but many people could relate. Cheers, Jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
remibond 0 #104 April 30, 2010 Sorry to state the obvious, but in none of this did you mention anything about the husband respecting the wife. Believe it or not women have feelings too and it is just as damaging to a relationship if he belittles her as if...ah, fuck it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #105 April 30, 2010 What's most offensive to me is the idea that a man can't keep himself from being pushed into committing domestic violence. Men are responsible for their own actions. Saying it happens because they are not respected, etc. is saying that the man can't control his own actions. If a man is not being respected in a relationship, he has many different choices. Domestic violence is not an appropriate one. I am all for mutual respect from both parties."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #106 April 30, 2010 QuoteWhat's most offensive to me is the idea that a man can't keep himself from being pushed into committing domestic violence. Men are responsible for their own actions. Saying it happens because they are not respected, etc. is saying that the man can't control his own actions. If a man is not being respected in a relationship, he has many different choices. Domestic violence is not an appropriate one. I am all for mutual respect from both parties. Women are also responsible for acts of family violence. Since most states updated their family violence laws, some with "shall arrest" language, the number of arrests of women for family violence has risen. Not due to a now higher percentage of violators, but due to now having more even enforcement!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #107 April 30, 2010 Enough of the thread hijacking, Guys. This thread is about wedding planning. If you want to talk about domestic abuse, please start a new thread in Speaker's Corner.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #108 April 30, 2010 Quote Enough of the thread hijacking, Guys. This thread is about wedding planning. If you want to talk about domestic abuse, please start a new thread in Speaker's Corner. Back in the kitchen! --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airman1270 0 #109 April 30, 2010 QuoteSorry to state the obvious, but in none of this did you mention anything about the husband respecting the wife... _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Ahh, but I did. Hence my use of the term "mutual" respect. None of the cases I read about involved guys mistreating wives. Why are people so eager to assume I was condoning violence? Cheers, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #110 April 30, 2010 QuoteBack in the kitchen! Where's your wife? You need a paddling for that!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,149 #111 April 30, 2010 QuoteFor a marriage to work the wife must respect the husband, not belittle him, constantly criticizing, nit picking, controlling & pushing him away. She must receive his attention with enthusiasm and desire (okay, once in a while perhaps reluctantly but be there for him anyway because she loves the guy. ) He, in turn, must treat her the same way but most guys don't need to be told this.I'm going to address this one. It's up to each party to consider the other's point of view. If the wife (or husband) spends all of their time belittling or criticizing, then there's most likely a problem. But if you can only imagine the woman doing it, and can't really imagine the man doing it (your statement that "most guys don't need to be told this" would be an indication of that), then I'm thinking that you're not really able to see that both parties are human beings with the same rights and obligations. Being able to sympathize with someone requires that you be able to identify with them. If you're completely unable to identify with women, then it's unlikely that you can evaluate their wishes as evenhandedly as those of the men that you can identify with. The real thing for spouses to remember is that they (hopefully) married this person because they wanted to spend their life with them. That means that they seek and listen to their opinion on important matters, and establish and protect what is important to themselves (i.e. mention if their partner is not seeking and listening when they should be). If the person was smart and nice enough to marry and have children with, they're probably nice and smart enough to give the benefit of the doubt to, even if you disagree with them, and even if you're divorced from them but still share children. There are probably women who can make the same statement about men that you made about women that I quoted. For each, the presumption of innocence on the part of people like one's self is an indication of bias, and makes me take that into account when evaluating their statement. Oh -- and on the topic of weddings, both of mine were small, cheap, and perfect. All of the right people participated, and largely on their own terms. The only mistake I made was not giving away my wedding dress from the first one right away -- by the time I wanted to, it was too deteriorated. I highly recommend making the decision to marry very close to the actual act -- it gives one less time to over-amp and make too much of it. damn I write too much sometimes Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites AggieDave 6 #112 April 30, 2010 Quote Quote Back in the kitchen! Where's your wife? You need a paddling for that! I have her locked in the bedroom feeding my son. After she gets done with that, she's allowed back in the kitchen. If she's good I'll let her wear shoes today... Said from the guy who has a great wife that has a masters in engineering and makes a lot more money then he does!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jimmytavino 16 #113 May 1, 2010 interesting subject... and based on the huge variety of replies,,, one with many angles to be considered.... often the simplest and most straight forward desires of the Wedding Partners, get blown waaay out of proportion... Sometimes it's because of the sudden emergence of an unexpected bride-Zilla... who seems to come from nowhere.....( then i feel bad, for the groom, who is often left bewildered, bothered, and BROKE) but sometimes it is from 'the intrusion of others" and things can get crazy... Others.... include Parents, friends, 'wedding planners' and the perception of the need to include too much in the way of peripherals... ...A lot of the inclusion or not,,, of such things, centers on WHo is gonna foot the bill..... IF it is the parents of the Bride,,,, and If they have any sorta guilt complex about their parental history, or lack thereof,,, sometimes throwing money away on extravagances helps to ease the pain of poor behavior while the child was growing up... pure idiocy.... factor in a Professional planner,, and things ( costs) can get out of control ,, quickly..especially if said planner has a whole stable of others,,, whose very lifeline,, is the saturday afternoon, evening wedding fiasco... brides and groom, who can be easily swayed by others,,, could find themselves with an over the top wedding... when the bride and groom cover the costs themselves, things tend to stay more sensible... It's not about the Wedding,,, it's about the Marriage.... The OP presents his points in a very definate way....we KNOW his feelings on the matter... and others join in with some good comments, and s ome silly ones... skymama saves the day.. by steering us back to the original topic,,,, and many with a long and happy marital track record. prove that a simple yet elegant wedding,, with sensible cost constraints CAN often be the doorway to a long and healthy Marriage.... It's a marathon not a 100 yard dash.... and getting carried away with an outlandish and costly event, may NOT really be "where it's At"... I've been a guest at more than one "abundanza wedding" where all the limits have been ignored,, where the SHOW was the 'thing', where the guest list was more important than the couple, and where the "wedding parties" were so large,,, even a 10 MM wide angle,, couldn't get them all in frame... that kinda nonsense can sorta spoil the couple... can emphasize the less important aspects of the occasion, and can elevate the couples sense of 'what will be affordable " in their lives,, beyond good common sense... My thoughts have shifted over the years,,, from the idea that the wedding is so crucial,,, to the idea that the marriage should be of highest priority... I'd prefer to see a procedure by which we keep the wedding event VERY simple, limiting the guest list and the 'extras'...and emphasizing the exchange of vows ceremony...Not the reception.... THEN if and when, the marriage LASTS,,,, the couple can plan a Follow -up event to celebrate the TEN year, twenty year, thirty year anniversaries,, with a bit more emphasis on the PARTY !!!.... by then the couple might know just WHO the real friends are,,, might best know how to host a gracious and sensible event, and will be able to Include their own KIDS, in the celebration... marriage...?? it's a serious undertaking and we ought to stop short of OVERDOING things on the first DAY of a couples undertaking of the event... let 'em prove over a decade or two,, or three,, that they are deserving of all the hoopla,,, and all the adulation, and all the $$$$$$$ which is often tossed around,, as if it was all just "Monopoly Money".... back in '81 when we stood in front of friends and family to declare our devotion to one another,,, we had No Choice, but to keep it simple... glad we did too... maybe it was the times,, since EVERYTHING has gotten crazy expensive,, maybe it was a level headed approach to the event, maybe it was just US,, being 'cheapskates"... but at the time covering the costs for Nancy's Masters degree ,,,, keeping some $ in the bank... enjoying a simple and sensibly priced honeymoon,,,, having ALL our bills paid and up to date, and maintaining a savings account... was more important.. this summer will be 29 years....we hope to get 29 more... JMY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Airman1270 0 #114 May 1, 2010 Way to go Jim. (Envy, etc....) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites truckerjean 0 #115 May 2, 2010 I think I woke up my neighbor laughing (don't mess with my modifiers, man...) LMAO! That was a supremely cool bit of publishable writing!:Dcan I borrow a jump ticket real quick? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LyraM45 0 #116 May 4, 2010 Quote Quote For some people it's obsessing over weddings. For some people it's the design of their rig or their jumpsuit. For some people it's their house, and for some it's their car or their motorcycle. "Dude, any piece of shit will get you to work, stop with all the car calendars and the accessories and the magazines and the polish and the seatcovers and just freaking go to work!" For some people the objective isn't just going to work. This is generally true. However, you are probably kidding yourself if you think your woman's "one thing" is the wedding. My experience has shown that the ones who want the big wedding also want the expensive luxury cars, the huge house full of useless consumer goods and are generally obsessed with "keeping up with the Jones". The wedding is just her "one thing" for "right now". Bottom line is that if you marry one of these women, don't expect her to be any less high maintenance after the wedding- it only gets worse from there! I think that is a little unfair... I'm a huge tom boy, and I got a tiny ring that costs a little more than my car payment, and I don't want a giant huge wedding, but comments like this and sentiments I'm getting from particular people I'm close with in my wedding predicament make me feel like a selfish bitch for wanting to take time to have my immediate family in a nice outdoor setting with good food, booze, and music. Hell, I was even looking at a dress at good will recently for 50 bucks!!! I'm definitely not high maitnenence, but if I want to spend a two thousand dollars for a night with my family (who I NEVER get to see that lives 3000 miles away now!) with good food/drink, is that so bad?? Damn... thinking about all of this stuff makes my head hurt. Has for the past two years. I just hate the threat of being labeled 'materialistic' or 'high maintenence' because I want an afternoon/evening (for what I think is modest if only spending around $2500 or something) with all the people that I love in one place at the same time. It will probably never happen again after that. Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Southern_Man 0 #117 May 4, 2010 $2500 doesn't come close to an extravagent wedding. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Bolas 5 #118 May 4, 2010 Quote Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. Exactly. As long as both parties are okay with it. "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LyraM45 0 #119 May 4, 2010 Quote Quote Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. Exactly. As long as both parties are okay with it. "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. Exactly.Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #120 May 4, 2010 QuoteDamn... thinking about all of this stuff makes my head hurt. Has for the past two years. I just hate the threat of being labeled 'materialistic' or 'high maintenence' because I want an afternoon/evening (for what I think is modest if only spending around $2500 or something) with all the people that I love in one place at the same time. It will probably never happen again after that. I think people should throw any kind of bash that they want to, as long as it is within their budget. Go for it!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LyraM45 0 #121 May 4, 2010 Quote $2500 doesn't come close to an extravagent wedding. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. I thought a few thousand was a modest amount too, considering I know a lot of girls that spend that just on the dress alone. I'd rather put the money towards making sure everybody has a good time with lots of food/drink/dancing, because like I said, it will probably never happen again with both families in the same room let alone in the same state or part of the country. I see what gets spent for an average wedding now adays and it makes me shudder, but when I go to plan something for a few thousand dollars (which is WELL WELL WELL below the "average" amount for a wedding) I still feel like a horrible person sometimes. ::sigh:: Long story..... but every time I get support from somebody telling me that I shouldn't feel bad about a few thousand dollars towards my wedding, it really helps me out and makes me feel better-- so thanks for the input! Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,149 #122 May 4, 2010 Quote "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. You say that like there's something wrong with it Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VTmotoMike08 0 #123 May 14, 2010 I just got back to this thread now. $2500 sounds... completely reasonable, but not that it even matters what I think. Its the bitches that spend $40K that I was talking about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Airman1270 0 #124 May 15, 2010 Quote Quote "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. You say that like there's something wrong with it Wendy P. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Depends on what they're "submitting" to. The Biblical model instructs the husband to love the wife. This includes looking out for her best interests, etc. According to this, the wife is submitting to a partner whose leadership is intended to benefit her & the family. If he's not following this example, she has no obligation to submit to behavior that is harmful to the marriage, the family, etc. Cheers, Jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LyraM45 0 #125 May 16, 2010 Quote I just got back to this thread now. $2500 sounds... completely reasonable, but not that it even matters what I think. Its the bitches that spend $40K that I was talking about. Oh, OK.... I agree with you there! I have caught that show on tlc called "say yes to the dress" or something like that and these chicks are buying these $15-25,000 gowns (let alone the rest of the wedding)!! That's a freakin' chunk of change for a house payment for gods sake! Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next Page 5 of 5 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
skymama 35 #110 April 30, 2010 QuoteBack in the kitchen! Where's your wife? You need a paddling for that!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,149 #111 April 30, 2010 QuoteFor a marriage to work the wife must respect the husband, not belittle him, constantly criticizing, nit picking, controlling & pushing him away. She must receive his attention with enthusiasm and desire (okay, once in a while perhaps reluctantly but be there for him anyway because she loves the guy. ) He, in turn, must treat her the same way but most guys don't need to be told this.I'm going to address this one. It's up to each party to consider the other's point of view. If the wife (or husband) spends all of their time belittling or criticizing, then there's most likely a problem. But if you can only imagine the woman doing it, and can't really imagine the man doing it (your statement that "most guys don't need to be told this" would be an indication of that), then I'm thinking that you're not really able to see that both parties are human beings with the same rights and obligations. Being able to sympathize with someone requires that you be able to identify with them. If you're completely unable to identify with women, then it's unlikely that you can evaluate their wishes as evenhandedly as those of the men that you can identify with. The real thing for spouses to remember is that they (hopefully) married this person because they wanted to spend their life with them. That means that they seek and listen to their opinion on important matters, and establish and protect what is important to themselves (i.e. mention if their partner is not seeking and listening when they should be). If the person was smart and nice enough to marry and have children with, they're probably nice and smart enough to give the benefit of the doubt to, even if you disagree with them, and even if you're divorced from them but still share children. There are probably women who can make the same statement about men that you made about women that I quoted. For each, the presumption of innocence on the part of people like one's self is an indication of bias, and makes me take that into account when evaluating their statement. Oh -- and on the topic of weddings, both of mine were small, cheap, and perfect. All of the right people participated, and largely on their own terms. The only mistake I made was not giving away my wedding dress from the first one right away -- by the time I wanted to, it was too deteriorated. I highly recommend making the decision to marry very close to the actual act -- it gives one less time to over-amp and make too much of it. damn I write too much sometimes Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #112 April 30, 2010 Quote Quote Back in the kitchen! Where's your wife? You need a paddling for that! I have her locked in the bedroom feeding my son. After she gets done with that, she's allowed back in the kitchen. If she's good I'll let her wear shoes today... Said from the guy who has a great wife that has a masters in engineering and makes a lot more money then he does!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #113 May 1, 2010 interesting subject... and based on the huge variety of replies,,, one with many angles to be considered.... often the simplest and most straight forward desires of the Wedding Partners, get blown waaay out of proportion... Sometimes it's because of the sudden emergence of an unexpected bride-Zilla... who seems to come from nowhere.....( then i feel bad, for the groom, who is often left bewildered, bothered, and BROKE) but sometimes it is from 'the intrusion of others" and things can get crazy... Others.... include Parents, friends, 'wedding planners' and the perception of the need to include too much in the way of peripherals... ...A lot of the inclusion or not,,, of such things, centers on WHo is gonna foot the bill..... IF it is the parents of the Bride,,,, and If they have any sorta guilt complex about their parental history, or lack thereof,,, sometimes throwing money away on extravagances helps to ease the pain of poor behavior while the child was growing up... pure idiocy.... factor in a Professional planner,, and things ( costs) can get out of control ,, quickly..especially if said planner has a whole stable of others,,, whose very lifeline,, is the saturday afternoon, evening wedding fiasco... brides and groom, who can be easily swayed by others,,, could find themselves with an over the top wedding... when the bride and groom cover the costs themselves, things tend to stay more sensible... It's not about the Wedding,,, it's about the Marriage.... The OP presents his points in a very definate way....we KNOW his feelings on the matter... and others join in with some good comments, and s ome silly ones... skymama saves the day.. by steering us back to the original topic,,,, and many with a long and happy marital track record. prove that a simple yet elegant wedding,, with sensible cost constraints CAN often be the doorway to a long and healthy Marriage.... It's a marathon not a 100 yard dash.... and getting carried away with an outlandish and costly event, may NOT really be "where it's At"... I've been a guest at more than one "abundanza wedding" where all the limits have been ignored,, where the SHOW was the 'thing', where the guest list was more important than the couple, and where the "wedding parties" were so large,,, even a 10 MM wide angle,, couldn't get them all in frame... that kinda nonsense can sorta spoil the couple... can emphasize the less important aspects of the occasion, and can elevate the couples sense of 'what will be affordable " in their lives,, beyond good common sense... My thoughts have shifted over the years,,, from the idea that the wedding is so crucial,,, to the idea that the marriage should be of highest priority... I'd prefer to see a procedure by which we keep the wedding event VERY simple, limiting the guest list and the 'extras'...and emphasizing the exchange of vows ceremony...Not the reception.... THEN if and when, the marriage LASTS,,,, the couple can plan a Follow -up event to celebrate the TEN year, twenty year, thirty year anniversaries,, with a bit more emphasis on the PARTY !!!.... by then the couple might know just WHO the real friends are,,, might best know how to host a gracious and sensible event, and will be able to Include their own KIDS, in the celebration... marriage...?? it's a serious undertaking and we ought to stop short of OVERDOING things on the first DAY of a couples undertaking of the event... let 'em prove over a decade or two,, or three,, that they are deserving of all the hoopla,,, and all the adulation, and all the $$$$$$$ which is often tossed around,, as if it was all just "Monopoly Money".... back in '81 when we stood in front of friends and family to declare our devotion to one another,,, we had No Choice, but to keep it simple... glad we did too... maybe it was the times,, since EVERYTHING has gotten crazy expensive,, maybe it was a level headed approach to the event, maybe it was just US,, being 'cheapskates"... but at the time covering the costs for Nancy's Masters degree ,,,, keeping some $ in the bank... enjoying a simple and sensibly priced honeymoon,,,, having ALL our bills paid and up to date, and maintaining a savings account... was more important.. this summer will be 29 years....we hope to get 29 more... JMY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airman1270 0 #114 May 1, 2010 Way to go Jim. (Envy, etc....) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
truckerjean 0 #115 May 2, 2010 I think I woke up my neighbor laughing (don't mess with my modifiers, man...) LMAO! That was a supremely cool bit of publishable writing!:Dcan I borrow a jump ticket real quick? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LyraM45 0 #116 May 4, 2010 Quote Quote For some people it's obsessing over weddings. For some people it's the design of their rig or their jumpsuit. For some people it's their house, and for some it's their car or their motorcycle. "Dude, any piece of shit will get you to work, stop with all the car calendars and the accessories and the magazines and the polish and the seatcovers and just freaking go to work!" For some people the objective isn't just going to work. This is generally true. However, you are probably kidding yourself if you think your woman's "one thing" is the wedding. My experience has shown that the ones who want the big wedding also want the expensive luxury cars, the huge house full of useless consumer goods and are generally obsessed with "keeping up with the Jones". The wedding is just her "one thing" for "right now". Bottom line is that if you marry one of these women, don't expect her to be any less high maintenance after the wedding- it only gets worse from there! I think that is a little unfair... I'm a huge tom boy, and I got a tiny ring that costs a little more than my car payment, and I don't want a giant huge wedding, but comments like this and sentiments I'm getting from particular people I'm close with in my wedding predicament make me feel like a selfish bitch for wanting to take time to have my immediate family in a nice outdoor setting with good food, booze, and music. Hell, I was even looking at a dress at good will recently for 50 bucks!!! I'm definitely not high maitnenence, but if I want to spend a two thousand dollars for a night with my family (who I NEVER get to see that lives 3000 miles away now!) with good food/drink, is that so bad?? Damn... thinking about all of this stuff makes my head hurt. Has for the past two years. I just hate the threat of being labeled 'materialistic' or 'high maintenence' because I want an afternoon/evening (for what I think is modest if only spending around $2500 or something) with all the people that I love in one place at the same time. It will probably never happen again after that. Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #117 May 4, 2010 $2500 doesn't come close to an extravagent wedding. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #118 May 4, 2010 Quote Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. Exactly. As long as both parties are okay with it. "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LyraM45 0 #119 May 4, 2010 Quote Quote Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. Exactly. As long as both parties are okay with it. "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. Exactly.Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #120 May 4, 2010 QuoteDamn... thinking about all of this stuff makes my head hurt. Has for the past two years. I just hate the threat of being labeled 'materialistic' or 'high maintenence' because I want an afternoon/evening (for what I think is modest if only spending around $2500 or something) with all the people that I love in one place at the same time. It will probably never happen again after that. I think people should throw any kind of bash that they want to, as long as it is within their budget. Go for it!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LyraM45 0 #121 May 4, 2010 Quote $2500 doesn't come close to an extravagent wedding. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Only a problem if your spouse is not on-board with it. Then that is something you two need to work out between yourselves. I thought a few thousand was a modest amount too, considering I know a lot of girls that spend that just on the dress alone. I'd rather put the money towards making sure everybody has a good time with lots of food/drink/dancing, because like I said, it will probably never happen again with both families in the same room let alone in the same state or part of the country. I see what gets spent for an average wedding now adays and it makes me shudder, but when I go to plan something for a few thousand dollars (which is WELL WELL WELL below the "average" amount for a wedding) I still feel like a horrible person sometimes. ::sigh:: Long story..... but every time I get support from somebody telling me that I shouldn't feel bad about a few thousand dollars towards my wedding, it really helps me out and makes me feel better-- so thanks for the input! Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,149 #122 May 4, 2010 Quote "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. You say that like there's something wrong with it Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VTmotoMike08 0 #123 May 14, 2010 I just got back to this thread now. $2500 sounds... completely reasonable, but not that it even matters what I think. Its the bitches that spend $40K that I was talking about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airman1270 0 #124 May 15, 2010 Quote Quote "Yes dear" is not an okay, it's a submission. You say that like there's something wrong with it Wendy P. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Depends on what they're "submitting" to. The Biblical model instructs the husband to love the wife. This includes looking out for her best interests, etc. According to this, the wife is submitting to a partner whose leadership is intended to benefit her & the family. If he's not following this example, she has no obligation to submit to behavior that is harmful to the marriage, the family, etc. Cheers, Jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LyraM45 0 #125 May 16, 2010 Quote I just got back to this thread now. $2500 sounds... completely reasonable, but not that it even matters what I think. Its the bitches that spend $40K that I was talking about. Oh, OK.... I agree with you there! I have caught that show on tlc called "say yes to the dress" or something like that and these chicks are buying these $15-25,000 gowns (let alone the rest of the wedding)!! That's a freakin' chunk of change for a house payment for gods sake! Apologies for the spelling (and grammar).... I got a B.S, not a B.A. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
