Tell me a story

[missbrz 0]

Hi people! I'm at work right now and I'm horribly bored like stab myself in the eye just for something to do level of boredom. I can't watch videos because we dont have flash or java or even sound on our work computers. I have also run out of internet. Please help a girl out! Tell me a story

[skymama 35]

Classic dz.com nonsense. The old-timers have fond memories of this thread.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[thrillstalker 0]

one time, at band camp, i stuck a flute up my pussy

"Never grow a wishbone, where your backbone ought to be."

[regulator 0]

How do you run OUT of internet? Or was it restricted?

Although if that were the case you wouldnt be posting on DZ.com

[airtwardo 6]

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=270299;page=1;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=25;


You want stories??


There are a bunch in there that will waste your day for ya!!




One of MY favorites!
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3161146#3161146

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[missbrz 0]

One can only think of so many things to google. Once you're stumped, it's hard to think of more when your brain is starting to melt from boredom. And we only have restricted internet in the sense that since we dont have flash or java so not all sites work.

[squirrel 0]

I just got back checking for occupancy on another bank foreclosure. It was empty, and obviously a meth lab from the smell....time to call the locksmith, and get some trash out bids. ahhh, the joys of this economy.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[missbrz 0]

*sigh* the only problem with reading old threads is that I want to reply. But it's 7 years old nobody's reading it anymore

[iluvtofly 0]

Here's a great story that I get a good laugh out of everytime I think about. Well, not so much a story as a picture in my head.


At a New Years boogie, and there's this crazy ass girl running around the dz asking every single person there if she can have a ruffie. The sad part of this picture though, is somehow not a single person there had one. The one time a girl wants to ruffie herself and not a single skydiver can or will help her.

[iluvtofly 0]

Quote

*sigh* the only problem with reading old threads is that I want to reply. But it's 7 years old nobody's reading it anymore

IF you reply it will get bumped to the top of the list. People will reread some of the old posts and read your new post. And who knows...the thread may get some new life.

[missbrz 0]

lol great story. except they werent for me. I wanted to ruffie a friend of mine. Also hard to fine: condoms. What kind of world do we live in where you can't find ruffies or condoms on a dropzone????

[iluvtofly 0]

I knew there was something else you were looking for I just couldn't remember what. And remember, you outed yourself on this story. I was being nice and not saying who it was.

[missbrz 0]

Are you kidding? This is a point of pride! Tell everyone! I think its an awesome story. I tell it at parties and gatherings.

[regulator 0]

Ok so speaking of Rohypnol I had to get a deep cleaning at the dentist and I personally despise paying money for other people to make me feel like shit. I asked the dental assistant if there was an option for her to slip me a roofie and wake me up when it was all done...I told her I didnt even care if I woke up and found my pants unzipped just as long as she told me it was her that did it...I said if I find the dentist with my junk in his hand he's getting punched in the balls....somehow she didnt find it as funny as i did.

[ryoder 1,397]

Quote

lol great story. except they werent for me. I wanted to ruffie a friend of mine. Also hard to fine: condoms. What kind of world do we live in where you can't find ruffies or condoms on a dropzone????

Pssst!
You don't need drug a skydiver to persuade him to have sex.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[missbrz 0]

Oh no. I didn't want to have sex with him. He was telling me how he leaves his drink uncovered at parties and no girl had ever cared enough to slip him anything. So I offered to ruffie him because he said, "Ruffies are like roses, every girl wants one and they're just $20." I was just trying to be a good friend and get him a bouquet.

[theonlyski 3]

Quote

"Ruffies are like roses, every girl wants one and they're just $20."

Ahhhhhhhhh I forgot that quote! I need to start writing these things down! (quit saying fuck infront of the k-i-d-s'!!)

Speaking of which, never thought I would see the day some guy has to be convinced to go have sex with his (hot) girl!!

Skydivers are weird!

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[missbrz 0]

ah! the boogie of a million quotes. Don't forget the other good ones, such as:

"No mean yes; Yes means twice; Baaaahh still means no"

and

"I wear my sunglasses at night... to stare at Joey's penis"


There, now they're written down, so you won't forget. Unless I forgot one....

[iluvtofly 0]

Ok...now I'm the bored one. It's that time of month end close where I can't do anything until I get certain e-mails from other departments. Thankfully Friday is my short day and I get to leave at noon. In the mean time...entertain me.


Oh yeah...will I be seeing you at Fitzgerald???

[missbrz 0]

Yes I'll be at Fitz. I even took a day off to make the drive suck less I'll even be bringing my corset, so you'd best make me a dirty pirate hooker.

Let's see entertaining....... In honor of they nigh approaching St. Patty's Day, DIRTY LIMERICKS!

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini



There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!


A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates


There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil



A right twisted wench from Caprees-ed
Orgasmed each time that she sneez-ed
To the druggist she went
And laid down her last cent
Said, "A barrel of snuff, if you pleas-ed."



There once was a man from Madrass
Whose balls were made out of brass
When he'd bang 'em together
They'd play stormy weather
And lightning would shoot out of his ass



There once was a man from Bonaire
Who was doing his wife on the stair
When the banister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair


A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
"Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?"
"Of course not," said the hare,
"It's really quite rare!"
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


There was a young tease from Mount Chesser
Who'd smile as the men would assess her
So flirtatious was she
Inviting them home to tea
Then allowing not one to undress her

[iluvtofly 0]

I'll make a hooker out of you yet!!!!!

And thank you for the lymerics...they were great.