Spoucel Support

[lazerq3 0]

My wife needs to know if there is a significant other/spouse group that she can join to help her try and understand why on earth anyone especailly her husband (me) with a child or children would want to do this craaaaaaazzzyyy sport (her words)!!! (my plea) I need some seriuos convincing to put my family at ease. By the way AFF two wks away. Called the DZ today and said theyre open this weekend. maybe will be able to get the T2 out of the way this weekend and go for AFF next weekend weather permitting YEAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Dutchboy 0]

Best advice I have for you is to hook up with some other married jumpers at your DZ and talk to them. Perhaps their spouses can talk to your wife. If their spouses don't jump either they could actually talk while you are jumping.

[lazerq3 0]

She wants to know now if those other spouces will be there for her when I burn in ( great googgly mooggly she already got me dead and gone and I havent even jumped yet) I guess I can just tell her to meet a good skydiver when I'm gone then she wont have to worry!!! :)
jason

[Shark 0]

Maybe you can get a tandem jump for yer Whyffo (wife+whuffo.) Only then will she understand....

[lazerq3 0]

I keep trying to talk her into it but no luck yet. I think the problem is that I've been talking up a storm about how excited I've been for the last yr about doing this and now that its come to 1 to 2weeks away the reality that its going to happen has set in.

[Dutchboy 0]

Quote

Maybe you can get a tandem jump for yer Whyffo (wife+whuffo.) Only then will she understand

Hopefully it won't backfire on you like it did for me. She got up and was in the door and then chickened out. I don't know if she'll every try it again. I'm really sad to know she'll never understand what this is all about.

[Aviatrr 0]

Quote

My wife needs to know if there is a significant other/spouse group that she can join to help her try and understand why on earth anyone especailly her husband (me) with a child or children would want to do this craaaaaaaazzzyyy sport (her words)!!

The only thing I can say is try to get her to do a Tandem.. My ex-girlfriend could not understand why I liked to jump out of airplanes.. She absolutely hated that I did it.. Kinda funny, when we started dating, she thought it was 'cool'.. Before long, she thought it was crazy, and said I should quit before I get killed.. I talked her into a tandem.. Unfortunately, I think she had made up her mind well before hand that she wasn't going to like it, so she didn't.. She said she was terrified the whole time, and did not enjoy it a bit.. Told me she wanted me to quit because she couldn't deal with having to worry every time I went jumping.. Well...notice above I said my EX girlfriend.. Luckily we had not been together very long.. She was too damn clingy, anyways.. Take the wife out to the DZ.. Let her see what a great group of people it is, and how much fun everybody has.. Let her ask around (other jumpers) about how safe it is.. Have a JM or experienced jumper explain how everything works.. Taking the mystery out of it often takes out the fear as well..
Mike

[Gingerbread 0]

My wife was worrrrrried to but she suports me all the way.
try this,Have her set in with your class, and have her questions answered by instructers and your jump master or AFF instructer. This way she will understand what you are doing.
FLY HIGH, FLY SAFE.
GINGERBREAD

[TripleF 0]

Gingerbread,
I think that was the best idea I have heard yet.
Triple F

[skySue 0]

If you find the answer - bottle it and sell it. You'll make a mint. Be warned - this sport may lead you to other like-minded people and you may discover it's time to move on. Sorry - but check out the statistics. It will be hard work unless she wants to understand.
Hey FFF - not sleeping yet??

[cyberskydive 0]

Good one dutch,at least ypou got yours geared up! but I think skysue is right. My GF of 3 years is a whuffo to the bone, cant even get her into the wind tunnel :) hopefully she knows me well enough to know that I'm probably not going to stop skydiving just becasue she wants me too. So far she has been cool about it, I know she worries when I go but you gottas llove em for that-LOL
Its been my expereince that you'll have a hard time convincing someone who doesnt't like it, or understand it, to thinking its ok. I would tell you to put your right hand on the yellow pillow, but itys gonna be up to each individial to decide whether is landable or not-LOL-
D.Chisolm C-28534
[email protected]
http://www.sunraydesigns.com
Edited by cyberskydive on 3/4/01 05:59 AM.

[Zennie 0]

That's a very good suggestion. My wife-o is generally pretty good about me jumping... although she does occasionally try to find "other" things for me to do come jump day. "Why don't you do this... Why don't do that...." It's kinda funny.
I've also found that the more I've done it, the better she's getting about it. She's discovering that, yes, I do come back alive and in one piece. She also knows how concerned I am about safety, so I think that puts her at ease as well.
I doubt she'll try a tandem, but I've talked to my DZO, and he's very cool about her riding up in the passenger seat on the otter so she can watch us do our thing. Maybe your wife can try that as well. That way there's no jump obligations, but she gets a second-hand view of what it's all about. Plus she gets a fun plane ride out of the deal.
I'd also point out that our biggest contention point has been the expense. You have to plunk down an awful lot of money for training and your first rig. Once that's done, it's still a little pricey, but it's more spread out.
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[skybytch 259]

Take her and the kids to the dz with you every time you go. If she sees people happily jumping the day away without injuries or deaths she should eventually get more comfortable with it. Have her sit in on all of your training so she will know exactly what you will be doing and let her ask as many questions as she needs to. Make sure she meets everyone at the dz; there will likely be other non-jumping spouses around. Try to get her up on a tandem; if she absolutely won't, see if maybe she'd like to go for an observer ride. Basically, get her as involved in what you are doing as you can and she will allow. Assure her that you will be conservative in both your skydiving and your gear selection; that you will do everything possible to be safe and come back to her each evening.
Also - spend LOTS of time with her and the kids when you aren't at the dz. Blow off jumping for an occasional weekend and spend it with them doing things that are not skydiving related. Accept the fact that she may never understand why you feel the need to throw yourself out of a perfectly good airplane. And be happy she isn't telling you "No! You can't do that!!" - skydiving has ended many marraiges and marraige has ended many skydiving careers...
pull and flare,
lisa

[JohnJug 0]

I would have to agree with everyone that is saying to take her up to the DZ with you. I'm not married and don't currently have a significant other, but when I first started jumping my mom was very reluctant about me going, typical mother stuff. I got her to start coming to the DZ with me when I went. She saw how much fun I and everyone else was having, and got a sense for how safe it can really be. Last thanksgiving, at the ripe young age of 53 she did her first tandem, and loved it. She says she is willing to do another tandem. I am trying to get her into aff, but she is scared that she wouldn't be able to control herself in freefall, she feels much safer with someone else in control.
Blue skies and WARM weather

[Iflyme 0]

Dump her! Sorry - just kidding Jason... as you've read here, many of us have wives/husbands or S/O's who don't jump. It is definately a challenge being a family man and a skydiver... I agree with everyone else - get your family out to the DZ often, and spend quality time with them AWAY from the DZ. I blew off a good good day of jumping yesterday to go to the beach and dig in the sand with my kids, then off to Burger KIng for lunch, then out for a nice walk in the woods. It's a better life if you can find a good balance... but like someone else said, when you need all those $$$ to start buying gear, well, hhmmmm... that's a bit tougher!
Frank

[Deleted 0]

Best advice I can offer is to get her involved as much as possible in everything. Your training class, the DZ operations (have her volunteer for manifesting or learn to pack). Two particular couples' other half at my old DZ got heavily involved in it. One did the manifest while the other did a lot of office work. Basically education is king, but also respect that if she is scared, then she is scared. After all, she did marry you and loves you till death doth you part. She probably never expected you to start an inherently dangerous sport after she said, "I do".
So make it fun for her as much as possible. Bring the kids, get them into the sport. The more comfortable they feel with the sport, the more comfortable they might feel with you doing it.
My two cents,
B

[TripleF 0]

Iflyme,
I've read these threads very carefully and so far you have offered the best thoughts. Yep, take time off and show them that this sport is not the most important aspect of your life. That makes for a good relationship. This is just a sport, that will be here for us all tomorrow, but the relationship may not always be here, so yeah, take the time for the wife and kids. Good sound logic. (Damn, did I get philosophical?? Wow, sorry about that, ya'll)..
skySue, Now you know that I don't sleep... got too much going on in my universe. After all, I'm still trying to make it to the moon and back. Need a pilot??
Triple F

[Iflyme 0]

Hey, triple F, thanks for your vote of confidence ... I didn't start skydiving until my 14th year of marriage, so I guess I am qualified to offer perspective. Us old(er) geezers have to help the young'uns when we can. My trouble is I make stinky farts, so that causes more grief than the skydiving

• Quote

[froggie 0]

lazerq
im not sure if this would work for your wife but this is how i have handled the whole skydiving thing will all of my family. I explain it, explain it, and explain it more. Like today for instance, mom is getting kind of sick of hearing the "im doing aff" excited talk that seems to come out of my mouth every time i open it. So when i got home from ground school today i showed her everything that i had learned. I even showed her how i was taught to do a PLF, thanks to the fire place mantle. :) But seriously, by showing them everything that im learning, and talking about different mals (which proly seems like a crazy thing to do!) they see that im not going into this without info. My mom was especially interested in hearing me talk about how to recognize a mal, determine if its fixable, and how to handle it.
So all I can suggest is to tell your wife exactly what skydiving is all about. Try to talk about the technical stuff more than the "its awesome!" stuff. Show her how to arch. maybe throw a joke into there, something about learning how to arch right, and being more *flexible* now. Ask her to show you how she arches or something. granted, you might end up dropping the convo, but thats not the only thing that might be dropping (clothes too :) make the wife enjoy it :)
good luck,
froggie

[skyhawk 2]

Try to talk about the technical stuff more than the "its awesome!" stuff. Show her how to arch. maybe throw a joke into there, something about learning how to arch right, and being more *flexible* now. Ask her to show you how she arches or something. granted, you might end up dropping the convo, but thats not the only thing that might be dropping (clothes too :) make the wife enjoy it :)
good luck,
froggie
u evil little frog u :-)Well sex does make up everything

[froggie 0]

Quote

u evil little frog u :-)Well sex does make up everything

well, i cant say that my advice is going to work (sorry, i dont practice insest) but id imagine that its worth the shot :)
froggie

[TripleF 0]

iflyme,
Quit eating that Hormel chili. That's for days at the DZ when ya' want a good seat on the bird. Might even save your marriage, too. Or you could blame it on the dog.
Triple F

[skyhawk 2]

sure we all know u r a sex addicted frog :-)

[Aviatrr 0]

Quote

Quit eating that Hormel chili. That's for days at the DZ when ya' want a good seat on the bird.

Naw.. Chili alone doesn't work.. The night before, ya need to consume lots of pizza, chili, and beer just before bed.. Let simmer 8 hours.. Be sure to take the nose clip with ya to the DZ..
Oh, and be sure to blame it on the JM that's always sleeping on the way to altitude.. Or the pilot.. Mike

[Aviatrr 0]

Lazerq3-
One more thing..If you, by chance, have a wind tunnel nearby, or will be in a city with a wind tunnel, stop by and get your wife in it.. She'll have a great time.. Then tell her to imagine it with a bunch of other people, the awesome view, and the canopy ride afterwards.. Who knows, maybe you'll get her to give it a shot..
Mike