Desensitizing

[outrager 6]

Yo !

I wonder if any of you ever noticed or thought about a sensory and/or emotional "desensitizing" that seems to come along with long-term BASE jumping. It feels like a sensory scale gets recalibrated to the point where normal "input levels" are pretty much ignored.

BASE brings a wide range of emotions - from extreme pleasure to extreme pain, so it affects the entire spectre of feelings. It has a power to take a central part of your life, and this is where many jumpers end up trapped for years - or maybe for their entire life. "Happily trapped" may be a better term, though, since the high it gives you is absolutely priceless ;-) However, there may come a point where you grow up enough (or degrade, as you wish) to find, with a great surprize, that BASE has shifted to the sidelines. You still jump - not as much as you used to, but getting more fun out of each and every load. You don't care about the numbers any more and feel happy after a single jump - quite a contrast with all-night non-stop marathons that in the earlier days still wouldn't satisfy you enough. You can choose the best objects in the most beautiful surroundings at your leisure. Basically, BASE jumping becomes as good as it gets ;-) The problem is the rest of your freshly rediscovered life now works on a different scale. You can't really stir it up to the same emotional tsunami. Adjusting your own sensors appears to be the only way. (A major warning here: if you succeed with such an adjustment, BASE jumping becomes much scarier!)

Meanwhile the dark side creeps in, and the last couple of years have been particularily rough. In October i sat down and made a list of people i have met BASE jumping but will never see again. Some were my good friends, some were on the same load, some i just met the day before... The list has 16 names - all during the last 4 years. 12 went in BASE jumping, 4 more from various, mostly related causes.

Dealing with death in person is a shock, and it only gets harder every time. When you realize you now deal with statistics it is a shock of its own. The only other people i know who deal with this kind of emotions are people who went through war. It is far from healthy, and my friends have quit jumping because they couldn't take it any longer. If you stay, your brain will eventually desensitize and build walls to protect itself. You hardly notice other non-fatal carnage any more, it's just part of doing business. I have been incredibly lucky so far keeping my body intact, but emotional scars are all over the place.

To sum it all up - BASE consists of short peaks of incredibly intense emotions, followed by a relatively long rest period. Most other activities are more balanced, giving a much lover level of excitement over a much longer time. While a balanced life has a potential to be longer and happier overall, it is rather hard to swallow once you tried the extremes.

Anyway, how do you deal with your everyday life ? Is there anything that fills it as much as BASE did ? Anything that is as intense and brings as much joy ? Or better yet - instead of trying to substitute BASE with something else, did you manage to recalibrate your scale and find a happy balance ?

bsbd!

Yuri.

[leroydb 0]

very "ensiteful" to a beginning base jumper

Leroy


..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio...

[TomAiello 25]

Thoughtful...Here are my random ramblings...

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It feels like a sensory scale gets recalibrated to the point where normal "input levels" are pretty much ignored.

I think this is just a consequence of the human condition. Exposure to any stimulus over the long term will lead to some kind of desensitization (or perhaps, if not, then to insanity). Exposure to intense stimulation even more so.

For example, the first time I met Dan Osman, my impression was that he appeared to have overloaded and burned out all of his adrenaline receptors. Things that would leave any "normal" human being drooling in a padded room had become run of the mill for him. And "normal" life appeared as stimulating to him as a long term THC high (perhaps "low" would be a better term). One of the most insightful things I ever heard him say (it was on a video) was "What's wrong with people today? Can't we just be happy with normal successes and failures?"

The problem appears to be that after extended exposure, merely insane levels of risk no longer produce the added stimulus that our minds crave. So, instead of being satisfied with three second canopy flights, we begin to think the jump was "wasted" unless we PLF'd a half riser flare at the moment of impact. Merely outflying a six second ledge is no longer interesting--instead we find our friends launching wingsuits over four second rock drops. Buzzing a cliff is no longer interesting--we must fly between the guy wires of a tower.

In the most extreme, perhaps we find the "ultimate" stimulus only in the moment of terminal impact? I seem to remember a very experienced jumper commenting that if you impacted at terminal, you ought to do so with your eyes wide open, as this was the ultimate experience, and ought to be enjoyed to the fullest.

My BASE mentor once commented to me that BASE was like heroine. It's dangerous, addictive, and usually illegal. And the more you have, the more you need to get the same buzz. The problem is that eventually, to get any buzz at all, you must put yourself into the hospital (or morgue) with an overdose.

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BASE brings a wide range of emotions - from extreme pleasure to extreme pain, so it affects the entire spectrum of feelings. It has a power to take a central part of your life, and this is where many jumpers end up trapped for years - or maybe for their entire life.

Truthfully, I think that the people who are "trapped" are the lucky ones. The notion that you are trapped at a certain level implies that you are not moving deeper. I've met people who seem able to take the same pleasure in their 500th jump as their first. Perhaps the "trapped" jumpers are the ones who started out "grown up"?

There does, however, seem to be a progression for most jumpers. One which either ends, as you suggest with a sort of "growing up", or one that spirals deeper and deeper in. Interestingly, I think that the "grown up" (or perhaps "recovered") BASE jumpers take more pleasure in each jump than the hard core BASE junkies (which they previously were). In fact, there seems to be a significant amount of personal growth and development that takes place along this road. Doubtless there are other (and safer) ways to achieve this personal growth, but the people I have met who have followed the entire path you describe, from the depths of BASE addiction to the "recovered" stage of BASE enjoyment, seem to be relatively healthier than average. I would suggest that for some people, growth is so difficult that it requires massive, often traumatic stimulus of the sort that BASE provides so well. Some people are not that screwed up, however, and can reach maturity without engaging in our massive bouts of self destructive behavior.

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The problem is the rest of your freshly rediscovered life now works on a different scale. You can't really stir it up to the same emotional tsunami. Adjusting your own sensors appears to be the only way. (A major warning here: if you succeed with such an adjustment, BASE jumping becomes much scarier!)

Another thought: Some of us appear to have serious adjustment problems. The sensors swing from re-adjusted (say, doing flat and stable deployments all weekend) to "massive jonesing" (say, needing to strafe a bridge full of spectators) in a few short moments. This may be the most dangerous stage of all. We have the skills and experience to do some truly insane things, but only engage in them in brief, intense spurts.

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In October i sat down and made a list of people i have met BASE jumping but will never see again.

Just remember our pact. If you break it, I'll show up at the memorial and piss on your grave.

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Dealing with death in person is a shock, and it only gets harder every time...If you stay, your brain will eventually desensitize and build walls to protect itself. You hardly notice other non-fatal carnage any more, it's just part of doing business. I have been incredibly lucky so far keeping my body intact, but emotional scars are all over the place.

I wonder if the dealing with death will go through the same kind of cycle as the underlying BASE activity? In other words, will we be desensitized, then progress to a lower, but more rewarding/real interaction with death?

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While a balanced life has a potential to be longer and happier overall, it is rather hard to swallow once you tried the extremes.

Two thoughts:

1) There is no need to balance your life in all ways. There are many ways to address the need for extremes without deploying parachutes 150 feet off the ground. Some of them are even relatively safe. Consider other "intense" experiences in the psychedelic, sexual, or physical exertion realms. The traditional way, over the last few thousand years, to achieve these intense states, was to fast or otherwise expose oneself to intense deprivation and material hardship. Perhaps the self-flagellating hindu holy men were the spiritual precursors of modern BASE jumpers?

2) I know some older jumpers who appear to take their extremes in moderation. They don't jump very often, but occasionally go on expeditions (or just weekend jumps) that recapture the extremities sufficiently. This appears to be the equivalent of a "normal" person going on yearly vacations to "re-balance" themselves.

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Anyway, how do you deal with your everyday life ? Is there anything that fills it as much as BASE did ? Anything that is as intense and brings as much joy ?

An interesting thing I heard recently from another jumper (who was begging off going to jump). "It's all just flying your body." I think what that means is that life is about seeking experience. And that each new experience can contribute to the overall life experience. So, in this case, he found that getting his girl "ho'd up" and going to a Kid Rock concert was as worthwhile an experience as yet another nighttime jump off the same shitty crane.

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Or better yet - instead of trying to substitute BASE with something else, did you manage to recalibrate your scale and find a happy balance ?

This is an ongoing quest. Perhaps someone with a little more time in grade will comment...

Forgive my incoherence. I'm sitting in the Motel 6 on Blue Lakes after an 18 hour day (on the upside, we're hoping to make an offer on a house here this weekend

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[TomAiello 25]

One last thought.

If you take vacations away from BASE, your level of desensitization drops off to approach normal, and when you return to the sport, you reap the same massive experiences you did at the outset. Perhaps a relatively low level of activity is the best way to get maximum personal return from each jump?

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[georgechurchill 0]

Hi, I think that we all know how we become desensitized when facing the same situation again and again. I remember how I felt on my first skydive compared to my 100/500/1000th. This is one of the reasons I'm not a regular base jumper. I want to keep BASE as a very special sport. I don't ever want to get to the point where I'm on the 5th load of the day. It would ruin the sport for me. I have no desire for base jump numbers. All I know is between 2 and 3 months I start getting a real itch to jump again. It gets more and more intense until I satisfy that itch. And as I don't jump on a regular basis, the intensity and reward from the jump is that much greater that I feel completely satisfied again for at least a couple of weeks. Something I’m sure you will not get if jumping regularly. I guess to me, one base jump can balance my mental wellbeing for a month, after two I start craving again. Doing this I don't think I will ever become Desensitized to Base.
George

http://georgechurchill.blogspot.com

[BASE813 0]

Hey george! How ya doing dude! You got your toggles sorted yet? If not I have a nice wizard and dagger for sale if ya want it!! – drop me a line – I will do ya a good deal on it!

Im with you George – I have never been a same day multi jump person. I don’t want to get the same as when I was skydiving in that you try and get as many jumps done in the day and then you forget how much fun you had on the first jump of the day, or second jump of the day. Cramming in numbers is of no interest to me, To me after I BASE I like to sit down with a nice cold beer and revel in the feelings that I have / had from that one jump. I think for me to pack and jump again so quickly I would loose that post jump feeling and reflection that I love so much – and to me that would be a shame.

Drop me a line mate if your interested in the kit!!

[PerFlare 0]

Hi Yuri,

Thanks for writing this.

Please excuse my poor English

It is almost 100% as I feel and have felt. Currently I am in stage in my life were I are changing things. One example is that in two years time I will travel sometimes without having a baserig(s) with me and I will actually be traveling to places with another purpose then to jump.

I have adjusted my life to get a total focus on jumping I choose not to have a active social life or a steady girlfriend or other things that took time and focus away from jumping. With a total commitment you will do allot of jumps and you will end up being trapped.

When I started base jumping I really thought very hard on the consequences and the most likely price I would have to pay for the type of jumping I dreamed of doing. I felt at ease with the consequence that this is an adventure that I probably not will survive.

One thing I did underestimate was that the emotional impact of losing friends in a fast rate, losing friends are always hard and it happened to me even before I did start jumping, but when it seems like there are people dying all around you it really starts to wear you down. To see a friend die or to try to help someone who are severely injured or just hang around keeping them company waiting for the SAR Heli listen to them begin for water that you can not give them it is not a super nice experience.

I am just back jumping after some injuries and as always it is good to be back :) but I do try to adjust back to be able to enjoy more social accepted activities. The first thing for me is to cut back on jumping so I get time to do other things, those +300/year are over. I believe in balance and that you feel allot better if you achieve it. There are other things in life that are fun and rewarding. I have not found anything to substitute basejumping, I do not believe I will either, and I will not stop jumping I just will free up some time to do other things as well.

For over a decade I have been living my dream to travel and to jump. I have not been satisfied to be at home and have only been there to work and get more money to travel or get more rigs and other jump gear. It started a little bit earlier but pretty much became really noticeable after Lukas died. I noticed that I started to appreciate strange things like … well being alive :)

I do not longer, at least I try not too, push my jumping to the edge of being absurd.

Anyway, to answer your questions ;)

“How do you deal with your everyday life?”

I appreciate that I have been blessed to have a life that enables me to for fill my dreams. I will work hard to keep it that way.

“Is there anything that fills it as much as BASE did?”

I have not found any thing that does but people tell me that having a family and kids are quite a ride.

“Anything that is as intense and brings as much joy?”

No, at least I have not discover it yet … my guess that you can at least pass the time with Girls, Whiskey, Beer, Drugs and riding a Harley Davidson ;) not necessarily in that order.

“… did you manage to recalibrate your scale and find a happy balance?”

Have not managed that yet but I am still a rookie in this area :)

PerFlare

[nicknitro71 0]

Those are very interesting points. They are behavioral and molecular theories on "thrill seekers" all for the most part wrong IMHO. One day I would like to research about it both at the molecular and behavioral level. It's a very complex question or set of questions. I don't think it is just a matter of having a high threshold for excitement or an addictive personality; those are just easy popular explanations. I am also very scared of the fact that one day I will take excessive risk when BASE to get the high. To me though it is not just about the raw and primary feeling. It is about learning in the form I like best. I see it in skydiving. I don’t get the intense feeling anymore but my awareness gets better and better every jump and there are so many things to improve and learn upon. But I don’t take stupid risks, well that is in the eye of the beholder! I see people with thousands and thousands of jumps who are very cautious and safe but still enjoy the jump. I want my BASE to be the same. I think it really comes down to how much you know. The more you know, the more risks you see, the more you try to minimize them. Does it mean, hypothetically, that if you knew it all you won’t do it? Well that defines human nature but I believe that if you did know it all there would be no point in living. That is also one other reason I don’t believe in a god but that’s a different subject. One thing to keep in mind is that it is hard to introspect and come out with some rational explanations. Introspection just gives you a very small window of the complexity of the mind and its behavior.

Memento Audere Semper

903

[BASE813 0]

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Anyway, how do you deal with your everyday life ?

If I have been jumping the night before and I come into the office a little tired and sit down to work – I am detached of all around me and deep in thought about what I was doing the night before – I also laugh at the conversations of small worries and concerns of people in the office – “that’s not my cup, I want my cup” – as I relive the fear and elation from only a few hours before. Sometimes its so surreal……………

If I jumped every single night – I would walk out of work permanently and not be able to afford rigs and trips!!

[TomBegic 0]

Yo Yuri

Great Post. Its interesting to hear about other people's psychology / life cycle, etc.

Death -> I became desensitised before I was heavily involved in parachuting/BASE jumping. I spent time with the Croat army

in Bosnia (spectator only - I had contacts). I saw first hand the atrocities that governments all around the world deny. It

was really sad to see teenagers heading to war for what they thought were the right reasons (freedom / justice). When they

got there, it became apparent very quickly that there were ulterior motives - disillusionment set in and the psychology

changed to one of survival and greed. When I returned to the general population, I observed these same young people sitting

in crowds with glazed expressions. They would enter night clubs and randomly fire off rounds. Their minds were estranged

from normal society. I also volunteered with an Australian State Emergency Service that specialised in first call for road

rescue. It was more blood and guts. I witnessed so many lives wasted unecessarily. My parents had 7 kids - there are 3 left.

I have spent lots of time with close friends and relatives whilst they were dying (& died) of cancers, etc. Then . . . . .

there is BASE jumping. I never counted the numbers. Your post made me think about it a bit. DW, DT, NH, TP, LK, JS, TY, LW,

TA, AQ, etc. Then there were all those that came so close. Every time I hear of a fatality, my attitude seemed distant - I

almost became cold to it, even with close friends. Although it felt right to be so in control of my emotions it also felt a

little unhuman. Death has truly become a part of life for me. The whole DW episode changed my thinking / feelings and

behaviours. It was only after discussion with other people and his closest friends and family that I realised that I had

lost something special. The clinchers were my internal feelings when I broke the news to his mum and on the day that we

spread his ashes at his favourite childhood surfing beach. I actually shed some tears!!!!!!!!!

Am I going to give up? No way (physical abilities aside). I have thought long and hard about the reasons why I got into BASE

jumping in the first place. It has been a long journey involving so many dreams and ambitions and desires. BASE has been a

culmination of many of these. It began decades ago. As a child I dreamed that I could fly. I dreamed that I could travel

around the vast world and discover things that no one else had ever seen. I dreamed that I would do things that no one else

had ever done. I wanted to experience a variety of natures extreme beauty. I wanted to experience cultures, languages,

religions, people, activities, etc that did not exist where I then existed. I wanted to spend time with people who had a

similar vision and zest for life. I wanted to have fun. I did not want to exist in a statistically normal world. I have

realised many of these dreams due to BASE jumping. It is something that will never completely disappear.

I met up with one of my early jumping buddies yesterday. His nickname is "little buddy". He is like mans best friend. Loyal,

friendly, mild mannered, without ulterior motive, fun. He made the observation that the BASE jumping community had become

too much like skydiving recently. Gone are the days that everyone knew everyone and although not everyone got along, we all

communicated and had some level of respect for each other. We participated because we wanted to BASE jump. Not because the

sport provided other benefits.

BUT WHAT NOW?

I had a look at my log book tonight. First time in ages. I found that I stopped logging several years ago!!!!! Even though I

have made some awesome jumps over the last few years. I was never consistant with logging any of my activities but it has

gotten worse. I have also made very few camera jumps. A camera was compulsory years ago. I was so keen to share my

experiences with others. Lately I have been extremely satisfied with the experience at its most basic level and keeping it

to myself and the few people I jump with.

I still have so many ambitions in BASE jumping. Whenever I hear about the escapades of other jumpers I feel a little jealous

that I am not there. KL, Mexico, Baffin, Russia, China. These are all places I will get to. But I think it will take a

little longer than expected. WHY? Priorities.

There are many other wonderful things in the world besides BASE jumping. But this is a personal thing. A jumper going

through the maximum jump stage would read this and say, "what a wanker, he is talking shit". But a number of years down the

track (s)he will be thinking along similar lines. I am trying to experience as many of those wonderful things that I can.

One is children (I think Per Flare mentioned them - how are you going Per? I remember showing you my home made wingsuit in

98 when you just started jumping, and look at you now huh!!! Great stuff mate). I have a 2.5 yr old boy (Zhan) and a 0.5 yr

old girl (Mia). Although they are very time and financially consuming, and a pain in the arse on occasions, they are the

most wonderful thing I have done / experienced in the world. Although one could argue that their feelings are based on

dependancy, I believe a childs feelings are so pure and untarnished by adult motivations that whatever they do is genuine.

Its so good to be loved by them. It is wonderful to be involved in each little progression / development. It is great that

society gives a father "permission" to behave just like the child he is playing with (no that I give a shite what society

thinks). Rules are bent, responsible behaviour is not compulsory. Just beware. If you plan on having children, the decision

should consider them, NOT JUST YOURSELF. You need to do it for the right reasons.

What else is there? I am getting more and more involved in a variety of non-mainstream investment strategies and developing

a solid portfolio of income / equity producing assets. I don't care whether I have a job or not tomorrow. These investments

have involved risk (& risk management), travel, meeting a wide variety of people with a passion for life and positive

attitudes, etc. There are many similar motivations / feelings to BASE jumping - even if the physical reality is totally

different.

There is a fight looming in the future for personal freedom (read George Orwell's 1984 and think about the current

international political climate). There is so much potential for the individual / organisation to make a difference.

Then there is the continuation of my passion with outdoor activities. I went for a flight in a glider the other day. We

traveled many miles eeking out an aerial existance in poor gliding conditions. We found every bit of lift available and

stayed in the air for hours. We indulged in some heavy duty aerobatics too. Geez - I'm still living that childhood flight

dream. Hang Gliding next weekend + showing some potentially new BASE jumpers what it is all about for me. Then they can make

up their own mind.

How do you maintain the excitement?

Mountain Climbing
Human Settlement in Space
Making Movies
Business / Investment
Living out your fantasies
Tell your boss to fukc off (make sure you have a back up plan)
syphon millions of dollars from your bank
save a forest
free a political prisoner
alter your sexuality
change religions or start a cult
rock climb / canyon / abseil
become a stunt motorcyclist
start a family
kinky sexual practices
become a controversial / outspoken critic of something that the general public support
crime
etc



As I said, I still dearly love the sport and would like to travel the world and jump every jumpable object. But my

priorities have changed.

RECALIBRATION - don't know. I think it really depends on the person and the reason why they got into BASE jumping. If people

started for a near death experience, then golf is just not going to cut it, but maybe being a combat soldier would???? If

they got in to chase new experiences, then there is infinite potential for substitute activities. Life is too short to

experience EVERYTHING. If entry was due to ego and attention, perhaps a career in the public eye (movies, politics, ). If it

was to spend time with friends who were jumpers, then it becomes difficult, especialy if those people are gone.

DESENSITISATION - ?????? This is a function of your personality / psychology / environment / experiences. Some of these you

can control, some you can't. Not sure what the answer is.


I'm rambling now. Sorry. Still Dreaming. Without dreams, there is no reality. I choose my reality.

Stay Safe
Have Fun
Good Luck

Enjoy Life
If you're not, you haven't done enough thinking.

[BASE813 0]

Nice!

What I believe and live by is that life should all be about balance.............

If you live totally consumed by one thing then you will miss out on many other things..........

[base311 0]

Georgia State Motto:

"Wisdom, Justice, Moderation"

I try to keep it, "on my mind"

g

[PerFlare 0]

Hey Tom,

Yes I do remember you showing me your wingsuit. That was when I just started base jumping :) Sometimes it feels like a long time ago, funny thing are that I do remember it very clearly.

Love to hear about your family that's great, I do hope we will meet again and share a exit or just have a few pints!

Have the best of times!

PerFlare

[pchapman 262]

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I wonder if any of you ever noticed or thought about a sensory and/or emotional "desensitizing" that seems to come along with long-term BASE jumping. It feels like a sensory scale gets recalibrated to the point where normal "input levels" are pretty much ignored.

Another term that could be used for desensitizing is "dissociation". As has been discussed, this situation can lead to the need for greater risks to create the same level of pleasure. It also means people in extreme sports need to rely more and more on their minds to evaluate and control risk.

Millions of years of evolution are (partially) out the window, for basic human instincts about the fear of falling can't in themselves keep us safe. Once we humans start adding skills & equipment that allow us to survive in an otherwise dangerous environment, we have to think through a situation to decide whether it should cause us to be fearful, or at least be aware of a risk.

This isn't to say basic instincts don't have their place, as they can still signal potentially dangerous situations so that we start to think about the consequences. And people with high skill levels in a particular area no longer have to think as much about what they are doing, for the actions become ingrained and natural. And everyone needs some desensitization to deal with things that become more common in our lives. Hurtling around at 35,000' at 600 mph isn't exactly natural either, but at some point most of us just accept the potential risks and take airliner flights without being worried sick.

When I find myself moving around near to the top edge of a cliff, most natural fear is suppressed because of my experiences with that sort of environment. I almost need to stop and think whether there should be anything to be afraid of -- and to what degree and for what reasons. There are so many different ways I might be in danger or relatively safe. Maybe I'm in a climbing harness and fairly safe because I know I've rigged a proper rappel and am hooked in properly. Or I'm in a climbing harness but just came off the top of a route and have to remember that despite the apparent security of a harness, I'm not hooked up to anything, and have to watch my step. Or I'm in a paragliding harness and the glider has inflated correctly above me so I can fly off OK. Or, for BASE jumpers with more experience than me, you would know that you can jump off and live, as long as you can get to the edge with a solid footing.

Fear is no longer something that just happens; it takes some conscious thought to figure out whether there is anything to be afraid about.