OrangeJumper

There is no way and I mean no way that was just a sneak out. The sound that emitted from her arse was caused forcefully. I won't let it go dammit! I'm taking a stand, I refuse to accept the idea of condoning women who poot in public! The Original Cabana Boy!

I generally avoid busting arse in front of people, UNLESS it's really funny (like a verbal retort, but from my butt) and only if I'm comfortable enough with everyone within ear/nose shot. Examples of fart-worthy people: best friends, family, boyfriend, guy buds who think it's funny. I don't think I'll EVER fart in front of you! Thank you so much for your consideration. That's hilarious that you actually have a arse busting list. At least you take the feelings of others into consideration, I have to give you a few points for that. The Original Cabana Boy!

WHAT??? When have I ever farted in front of you?? Or did you hear that from someone else? Rebecca, do you bust ars in front of other guys or just your girl friends? Please say it ain't so! The Original Cabana Boy!

Amen, God bless you brother. Is that not the nastiest shit ever. There is nothing sexy about a woman purposely shitting on her self, NASTY!!! The Original Cabana Boy!

Dude, are you freaking kidding me? You are cool with that? See, that is why I will never get married because people get way to comfortable after marriage. I know nothing would make me happier than watching my significant other purposely busting ass for her amusement. The Original Cabana Boy!

Honestly, it's still nasty but it wouldn't have bothered me as much as this. Yes, the gender thing has a lot to do with my current state of shock. I rank this up there with hearing your mother say fuck for the first time. I guess I just don't expect women to do shit like that. I don't know, I just need a hug. The Original Cabana Boy!

So you were "noticing" her for five minutes, but not checking her out? Yeah dude, she told you! In no uncertain terms, I might add. Thanks for the laugh. Ya might want to work on being a little smoother about "noticing" chicks. No, I was not checking her out, she wasn't that attractive. What I meant to say was she walked over to the water fountain 5 minutes after I initially noticed her. All I'm saying is that I would only expect woman that looked like the woman in the pic I attached to do something like that. Call me shallow if you will but it's the truth. The Original Cabana Boy!

I wasn't checking her out, I just noticed her. It wasn't like this was some quiet squeaky accident poot, this was the kind that you grab on to something for support before unleashing the fury. What kind of bumpkin ass woman does that? I almost dropped my freaking weights it was so loud. It would have been different if it was from across the room but her nasty ass crop dusted me, NOT COOL! The Original Cabana Boy!

This morning when I was at the gym, I noticed this some what attractive woman lifting weights. Well, I just so happened to be lifting by a water fountain that was in the free weight room. After about 5 minutes of me noticing her, she walks over to the water fountain to get a drink. After she takes a drink and walks past me, she unleashes this horrible fart that smelled like a whole bag of rhino ass. WTF man, I was in shock. I couldn't believe this woman busted ass right as she walked pasted me and she didn't even miss a beat. She made it seem like it was perfectly normal and she went on about her buisness; not even a freaking excuse me. Could someone help me out here? Am I the only one that thinks that is absolutely horrible or is that ok? What kind of woman just busts ass in the gym? Call me old fashioned but that was one of the nastiest things I have ever seem from a woman! The Original Cabana Boy!

It's a major award!!! LOL!!!! OMG, that is fucking great. Awesome reply! The Original Cabana Boy!

That is some crazy shit!! It was a little hard to concentrate with all the freaking porn in the background! The Original Cabana Boy!

LOL! The Original Cabana Boy!

Wonder who told you that Haven't seen you around the DZ for a couple of weeks, Jason....I'm heading to KS today, so I'll see you next year! Addie There she is, the one that told me to cut away. Isn't it funny how I told you that would never happen to me. What did I know.....damn AFF students It's good to hear from you hottie. I am visiting the family in OKC. I can't wait to get back to Orange, damn....it feels like I haven't been their in ages! The Original Cabana Boy!

I would consider her more an honorary skydiver cause she has made 7 jumps and been around Orange for 12 years. Plus, anyone can show their boobs Oh, I had no idea she had jumped before or that she had been around the dz for 12 years.....DAMN! Hell, I just assumed she had followed you out there. Do you know if Orange is open next Sunday (2 Jan)? The Original Cabana Boy!

LOL! What's up Rob! No, that doesn't count. She is an honorary skydiver because she shows her boobs! Mine is finally starting to come around. She just needs a little more mentoring and her boobs will become a regular part of the bonfire activities. Has anyone been jumping since the Ice Age started? I went to Skydive Dallas this last weekend and got a few jumps in. Man, I was overwhelmed with that place. Their facilities were sick. It was cool place. Plus, it was 65 degrees, windy as hell but warm. The Original Cabana Boy!

Me too! But it's been over 2 yrs for me. However, it comes down to the kind of person someone is. Jumpers and non jumpers certainly can work. For some, that combo is better. Orangejumper's ex sounds like a bit of an insecure witch to me though. "Those" aren't good for anyone - skydiver or not, hot or not.

LOL!!!!! Wow, it's amazing how skydivers quote the same sh!t. That is exactly what I was told to do. One of the girls at my dropzone asked me if I had a girl friend and if she jumped. When I told her no, she would always walk past me a make the cut away motion. It took my slow ass an entire week to figure out what the hell whe was doing. When the moons aligned and everything clicked, I spent about a half an hour laughing my ass off. OMG do I love this sport! The Original Cabana Boy!

I had a rigger at skydive dallas show me that trick this past sunday (19 Dec). Honestly, that was one of the hardest openings I've had so far. The one thing that I have found that slows it down a little is to shove the nose into the canopy before wrapping the tail. More than likely, after a few more jumps I will probably get used to it and it won't seem so dramatic. The Original Cabana Boy!

I just started jumping in Aug of this year; 37 jumps to date. Since then, I have basically been completely consumed with this sport (I hope this is normal). Before I started jumping, I was dating a beautiful S. American girl that would make any mans mouth water. Needless to say, we are no longer together. Why you ask....well, number 1 she doesn't jump. Number 2, she didn't want me to skydive and she did not like/trust other skydivers. She referred to them as a bunch of vulgar idiots with a death wish (most of the jumpers I know took that as a compliment). Now I am seeing a skydiving chick. Are any of you out there happily involved with a non skydiving partner. If so, could you please share with all of us how you have managed to keep it going. Honestly, I don't know if I would ever want to date a chick that didn't jump. I must admit, chicks that skydive are f*!$ing hot/wild! God bless all of you gravity girls!!!!! The Original Cabana Boy!

Also, your idea of exploding may be a "normal", "slow" opening for that canopy. A couple of riggers have told me the same thing. They basically said that either I should get a zp canopy or take my panties off and deal with it..... Don't get me wrong, it doesn't open so hard that I am going to get injured. I just got used to the soft ass openings from the student rigs I was using. On a more positive note, I have increased my gym time because of this canopy. I figured if I was going to jump a canopy that opened with the force of a car wreck, I'd better ensure my body was ready to take the repeated abuse. The Original Cabana Boy!

You should contact the airport that happened at. The TSA posted a policy letter that states you must be present if the security personnel want to open/inspect your rig. I would be pissed if my rig was inspected without me being present. You never know what they could do. You might contact the airport and see if they will cover the price for your repack. You could always refer them back to the policy letter posted by the TSA. I flew home 18 Dec from D.C. to Oklahoma City and didn't have any problems. Most of the security personnel just gave me a funny look and told me to have a nice day...I know, what a comforting thought The Original Cabana Boy!

Believe me, when I first started packing it, it would almost knock the wind out of me. I've gotten better with it but it's not just me. Even the three different riggers that I've had pack it haven't been able to significantly slow it down. I am beginning to think that I will just have to get used to it. When I was packing the student rigs I used from Skydive Orange, I had wonderful openings but all of their student rigs are made from Zero-P. Maybe it seems like openings are hard because my first 28 jumps were with canopies made from zero-P. Like I said before though, I would appreciate any advice. The Original Cabana Boy!

I was wondering if I could fish for some tips from you experienced jumpers/packers. I recently bought an infinity rig from someone who was recently married (married......ahhhhhhh; that word sends shivers down my spine!) Anyway, I got the entire system for $1,500. The only problem is the main is a brand new Falcon 230, yes I know it's big but I only have 37 jumps and my exit weight is 220 so back up off me. The damn canopy basically explodes open almost every time I jump. I know canopies made from F-111 material have a tendency to open faster but damn....there has got to be a way to slow the openings just a tad. I really didn't want to take the system but I couldn't beat the price. The main, reserve, and cypress are all new, so you can see that I saved a lot of money. I have had multiple riggers from Skydive Orange and Skydive Dallas show me tricks and nothing seems to really work. Someone please help me before my...well, you know, falls off during one of my future jumps from the hard ass openings. The Original Cabana Boy!

Cold...?? Come jump at Skydive Orange in Virginia, that's cold! The Original Cabana Boy!

I guess everything is bigger and better in TX. My home drop zone is in Virginia, Skydive Orange. I flew to OKC for Christmas and thought I would check out Skydive Dallas during my visit. I must say, I am very, very impressed. The facilities are unbelievable. They have a huge packing area and I must say it is very well kept. They have a nice cafe with awesome food and the cook is a super cool guy. The landing area is enormous and free from obstacles. They have wonder planes and the staff/experienced jumpers are so friendly it's almost scary. I am a newly licensed jumper (only have 37 jumps) and the most experienced jumper on the DZ practically made me jump with them. Hell, as soon as I checked in, one of the staff members started introducing me to all of the belly flyers so I wouldn't have to jump alone. One of the experienced jumpers/AFF Instructors that asked me to jump, I think his name was Rick, had something like 15,000 jumps! He gave me a little coaching before we jumped and we planned on doing sequential accordians the entire time. I wasn't as optimistic as he was considering I only had 36 jumps. I am happy to say, thanks to his coaching, we turned 27 freaking points!!! Even the riggers were very friendly and went out of their way to give you pointers. My canopy is F-111 and has a tendency to open hard. One of the riggers sat with me for 30 minutes showing me different tricks to slow the openings. While he was doing this, there were rigs laying all over the place waiting to be packed. Needless to say, I had a great time at Skydive Dallas. I highly recommend this drop zone to anyone, even if you're not from the area. My only regret is that I live so far away. It's safe to say that I will visit SDD anytime I am back in OKC.