Waiter, waiter...

[Darkzone 0]

Alternative punchlines to "Waiter, Waiter, there's a fly in my soup...."
1. "Don't worry sir, the spider on the croutons will get it"
2. "That's not a fly, sir, it's one of Chef's boogers"
3. "Yeah...so?"
4. "That's not your soup, sir, that's the spitoon"
5. "I'll get you another, sir, and would your wife like a nice bit of tongue?"
6. "Oh, fuck off!"
7. (Looking closely) "Hmmm, and it's a Dioctria Rufipes native to our dog's food bowl, if I'm not much mistaken."
Whooooohooooo!!! Hahahaha!!!

[freeflir29 0]

True Story: Friend of my Mom's is in London on business. She's in a restaurant and thinks the "noodle" soup the table next to her got looks good. When she gets it and takes a bite or two the waiter comes by and asks how she likes the soup. She says it's good but What are these black dots on the ends of the noodles? The waiter looks at her sheepishly, (I'm sure giggling at the silly American), and explains. Ma'am those are eyes.............Thats baby eel soup you are having......LMAO
"The cab driver said... he recognized my girly by the back of her head" -Beasty Boys
Clay

[Pammi 0]

OH MY GAWD! EEEEWWWW!
A new page! Bi-Plane pics!

[Slappie 9]

I have to agree with Pammi EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW.
I was once in Singapore at a very big dinner deal, had like 8 courses. We got to the soup course. I looked in my huge bowl of dishwater and noticed chicken beaks and feet!! Needless to say I didn't finish dinner that night and got a rather upset stomache the rest of the night.
Blue Skies!http://www.geocities.com/scollins77057/index.html

[freeflir29 0]

No desert till you finish your beaks!
"The cab driver said... he recognized my girly by the back of her head" -Beasty Boys
Clay

[pyke 0]

Power to the Waiters!!!!
The world is FULL of dumbass patrons!!!
the former waiter of 6 years...
Kahurangi e Mahearangi,
Pyke
NZPF A - 2584
USPA C- ?????

[PalmettoTiger 1]

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Power to the Waiters!!!!

Yeah, what's the line from Fight Club? "No no no, I want a .... clean soup."
"In that case I'd avoid the bisque, sir."
Blues, squares,
PTiger

[bbbilly14 0]

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Power to the Waiters!!!!

No, that's not a threat, no matter how it sounds. Don't fuck with those who bring you food and drink. They just might not be too friendly about it. And you'll never know the difference. OOPS!
"Light a candle for the sinners---Set the world on fire!"
Billy

[Pammi 0]

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Power to the Waiters!!!!

Here here! I actually enjoyed bartending for the most part, but waitressing...that sucks! Of course I have a problem with any job that requires you to be nice to get paid A new page! Bi-Plane pics!

[freeflir29 0]

"At least when I was a bitch while bartending"
Sounds like you need to work at Dick's Last Resort! If you haven't been to one, GO. It's hilarious.
"The cab driver said... he recognized my girly by the back of her head" -Beasty Boys
Clay

[Pammi 0]

Um...went to one about 5 years ago or so in Dallas, but they were absolutely packed and I was absolutely drunk so don't remember much about it :)
A new page! Bi-Plane pics!

[freeflir29 0]

"I was absolutely drunk so don't remember much about it :)"
Man I have so many stories that end that exact same way!
"The cab driver said... he recognized my girly by the back of her head" -Beasty Boys
Clay

[Pammi 0]

HAHA! Yeah.....me too ;)
A new page! Bi-Plane pics!

[jfields 0]

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Power to the Waiters!!!!

Nah. The real power is in the hands of the cooks. They are the only ones who really know what the waiters are serving.
As a former cook, I could tell you some stories....
[demonic laugh] Muahahaha! [/demonic laugh]
Justin
My Homepage

[PalmettoTiger 1]

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Sounds like you need to work at Dick's Last Resort! If you haven't been to one, GO. It's hilarious.

Dick's is easily my favorite restaurant. I dragged my parents and sisters into the one in Chicago Sunday night; I'd been to the one in San Antonio last summer and loved it. What really impressed me was that the waiters and waitresses were able to be entertainingly rude without resorting to personal insults or profanity. After the first time I ate there, I thought that working at Dick's would be easy - now I realize that the staff have to be good actors as well as good servers!!
Blues, squares,
PTiger

[pyke 0]

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I actually enjoyed bartending for the most part

Here, here back!!
I was always amazed at the people who were rude to me while bartending...then proceed to come back to the bar, like I HAVE to serve them....Ahhhh, the power of "right of refusal" is sometimes the GREATEST power in the world! Makes an angry, beligerent man buckle to his knees in apology...just for that last drink!!!!
Sometimes in the food industy....you have to take the power wherever it presents itself....and EXPLOIT it!!!
Kahurangi e Mahearangi,
Pyke
NZPF A - 2584
USPA C- ?????

[Pammi 0]

Definately Pyke! And as a woman bartender, it's always 'profitable' to show your 'wares' just a bit with a lower cut blouse! Nothing like being a woman with the booze and money to make a man drool! LOL!
A new page! Bi-Plane pics!

[freeflir29 0]

Sis is always saying that Pyke rents out his wares.....LMAO
"The cab driver said... he recognized my girly by the back of her head" -Beasty Boys
Clay

[bbbilly14 0]

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the power of "right of refusal" is sometimes the GREATEST power in the world! Makes an angry, beligerent man buckle to his knees in apology...just for that last drink!!!

And sometimes it is best to make that man kiss his own ass, and refuse him in the bar forever. We are not robots. "Please" and "Thank you" go a loooooooong loooooong way. And if they don't say it, there had better be a nice tip to make up for it.
don't fuck with us.
Love,
Billy
"Light a candle for the sinners---Set the world on fire!"
Marilyn Manson